“All things truly wicked start from innocence.”

~ Ernest Hemingway

“Are you sure you have everything?” Monica asks as she hugs me for the tenth time. It might only be seven in the morning, but she’s been fussing since last night and it’s one of the reasons I love her so much.

“I’m sure, and if I don’t, I’ll get it on the way. I’m not going to be gone forever,” I reassure her, squeezing her tight.

“Forever isn’t as long as we think, even when we think we have a lifetime,” She says, clutching my face, and kissing my cheek.

“Mason, you best take care of my girl. She’s the single most important and precious thing in my world.”

He hugs her and whispers something I can’t make out before lifting her enough to make her squeal.

“You, silly boy. I couldn’t be happier you found each other,” she tells us with tears in her eyes.

“I’ll facetime you when we reach New Orleans, okay?”

“You’d better! I hope you guys have the time of your lives. I love you both.”

“Love you too, Mon. Be good while we’re gone.”

She laughs as she swats away the tears spilling down her cheeks.

“Ha! You and your crazy. Go on now, get! Drive safe.”

“See you, Monica!” Mason says as he puts on his aviators and throws the car we hired into gear. We were going to go in his precious Camaro, but we can’t possibly put the miles on it. I roll my eyes just thinking about that conversation.

“I totally made us a road trip playlist,” I say, hooking my phone up to the Bluetooth in the car. The Real Thing by No Tomorrow starts playing. I lean back and he takes my hand.

“Are you ready for forever, Tiger?”

“Always.”

 

***

 

We arrive at our hotel in the heart of the French quarter, just off Bourbon Street, hours later and I’m just as pumped now as I was when we got in the car this morning. Mason pulls the car into a space in the lot and comes to a stop before leaning back on his chair.

“Damn it’s hot,” he exclaims, wiping his brow. His black vest shows off his toned arms beautifully; and all hot and bothered, I swear I almost want to lick him. “There’s AC here right?” He asks.

“Of course, there’s a pool, too.”

“Hmmmm,” he says with a raised eyebrow.

“Exactly,” I wink at him as I open my door and step out into the humid heat.

We’re here for a long weekend before we head to Nashville. We have a Jaded Hearts gig tonight, and this weekend just happens to be the Louisiana Cajun and Zydeco Festival, and I am beyond excited to take in everything New Orleans has to offer. The food, the music, the culture.

I jump as Mason comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist from behind. “Excited, baby?”

“I’m just so glad I’m actually here, and that I’m here with you. My life has completely changed in the last year.”

“I know what you mean,” he sighs, kissing my neck before letting me go.

“Let’s go up to the room,” I suggest. “I am dying for a shower after the long drive.”

“You want some company? Conserve water, you know.”

“I’m pretty sure I could be persuaded,” I breathe, excited and nervous all at once. Butterflies pick up in my stomach as he takes our bags from the trunk, then takes me hand, leading me inside.

After he checks us in, and turns down the pass the delightful Cami made at him while he was stood holding my hand, he leads me to the elevator and we ride the car to the top floor. The tension is so thick I could cut it with a knife. I know that, after all the months of waiting, we’re finally going to get the space and time to sleep with one another, and as exciting and delicious as that prospect is, it’s like losing my virginity all over again. 

Mason seems so calm and relaxed, but his eyes are so expressive that they tell a different story. He looks at me like he’s hungry, and I’m the only thing on earth that will satisfy him. It’s a heady feeling, knowing I could bring this powerful man to his knees. The car dings, and the doors open, and I can breathe again. He steps forward, his hand still clasped around mine and I follow him down the hall and into our room.

As the door closes, he’s on me before I can blink. He slams me against the door, having dumped the bags as he crossed the threshold. He pushes against me, grinding his hips into me, knowing I can feel the bulge of his pants easily through the thin cotton of my skirt . His hands cup my ass, lifting me up and I instinctively wrap my legs around him, pushing into him, letting him know exactly how much I want him – want it. The feel of him so close to me is intoxicating. He trails his kisses down my neck, lifting my vest top up and over my head, unfastening my bra with a single hand, and I giggle against his lips unable to hide the fact that I’m a little impressed by his skill.

“You are so beautiful,” he whispers. “You have no idea how insane the thought of seeing you like this has driven me.”

I blush. In all our fumbling and exploration, I’ve never been naked in front of him and the thought unnerves me. His fingers graze against my skin, leaving a trail of heat. The rush of cold air against my hot skin makes it prickle. With my top in a heap on the floor, he kisses me again, lifting me away from the door and into the bathroom. He puts me down, tearing off his vest and flicking on the shower. I watch his beautiful ass snuggly wrapped up in denim, and bite down on my lip as I watch him pop open the buttons of his jeans. Leaving them open but still on, he turns to me, stalking towards me.

I run my hands up his back before tugging down his jeans as he pulls down my skirt. Any nerves I had are leaving me; the look in Mason’s eyes tell me that he will look after me forever; that I never have to be afraid again.

I kiss his abs and trace my finger over the beautiful scar that runs down almost the whole length of his torso. It’s a sign of life: a sign of survival. He takes my ponytail in his hands and removes the band, spreading it out across my shoulders and tucking in a stray piece of hair behind my ear.

I reach down and shimmy his boxers over his hips, relishing the feel of his solid thighs under my finger-tips, and whilst I’m distracted his slipped my panties over mine; his eyes never leaving mine. We’re stood, naked, exposed to one another, at last – there’s nothing between us. There’s just Mason and me.

“Keep the shower running,” I say, taking his hand and leading him back to the bed. “We’re only going to get hot and sweaty again,” I say laughing.

We spend the afternoon in bed. Mason has a seemingly insatiable appetite and after our first gentle round of love making, the play turns rougher and I know he’s pushing the boundaries – and there will be much more to come. He wants to please me, to make me happy, and I’ll do anything to return to the favor; all he has to do is command me and I’ll be his willing slave.

“Time for that shower baby,” he whispers before we head back to the bathroom.

He washes me down tenderly, running the soap through my hair, kissing my neck but it isn’t long before I can sense his rising desire and he bends me forward, positioning my hands against the cold tiles, whilst the water flows down over my curves and over my mouth. I’m delirious with sensation; drowning in the feel of him. This is home, him inside of me, us joined together. No end and no beginning. One being. One soul.

 

***

 

We fall through the door, laughing, after The Jaded Hearts’ gig. Who would have thought my clumsiness would benefit us? I practically fell down a flight of stairs at the Smoothie King Center so we got moved to seats closer to the stage, where I could do less damage to myself and the people around me.

“You want another drink?” Mason asks, as he pulls two bottles of soda from the mini bar in the room.

“Sure,” I smile at him.

He opens the bottles and then steps out onto the balcony. The warm breeze travels over my skin and he gestures for me to join him outside. I take a seat next to him on the bench, staring up at the few stars fighting against the city lights.

“Thank you, again, for this, Erin. We’ve only been gone a day, and I’m already having the time of my life.”

“I wouldn’t want to do it with anyone else.”

“You’re incredible, you know that? I thought my life was good before I met you. I had Grams, and Parker. My friends. Things were going okay. But then there you were, sat in the corner, and it was like my life had been in black and white, and suddenly, I could see color. You opened my eyes, and made my life whole.” He pulls my closer, and tips my chin up towards him.

“I love you, Erin Michaels, I’m going to spend my entire life showing you just how much.” He takes my mouth with his, and I can’t even pinpoint how I feel. Loved. Overwhelmed. Blessed.

“I love you, too,” I murmur through our kiss. These next two weeks are going to be amazing.

 

***

 

I lay here watching him sleep. I can't believe he finally told me he loved me – sort of.

I made sure to video chat Monica before I went to bed last night, she asked for daily updates, but I managed to get her to agree to every other day. I miss her already, just like I knew I would. This is the longest I’ve ever been away from home. She smiled in all the right places and laughed until she cried when I told her about my trip into the voodoo shop, where I tripped over some voodoo charm and caused some horrific insult to the shops owners. It took Mason some time to calm them down and convince them I wasn't a child of the devil, merely that I'm clumsy as hell. All of this explains the message I woke up to at stupid o’clock.

 

Monica: Morning my little Hellraiser. Be safe today, and try not to start world war three while you're out there having the time of your life!

 

If it wasn't so funny, I'd be pissed. Today we’re heading to Nashville, and I am beyond pumped.

“You fidget a lot when you’re excited, you know that?” Mason laughs as he places his hand on my knee, trying to stop my bouncing leg.

“I know, I know – but it’s freaking Nashville! I know we’re not seeing Jaded Hearts here, but this is the home of country music, and you might not have realized, but inside this black heart of mine lives the bleeding heart of a country music lover.”

He laughs at me, shaking his head.

“You know, I’d have never guessed from today’s playlist. I guess it’s a good thing it’s only just seven in the morning, and we’ve only got another seven hours on the road.”

I squeal with glee. I don’t remember ever being this happy – ever!

“I love you,” I sigh happily.

It feels so right to say it. I try to think about the moment I fell in love with him, the moment when he stepped forward and I realized he was the guy for me. Some people will think it was fast, we’ve not even been together a year, but who said love is measured in time? I think I might have fallen in love with him the first time he stood up for me, and didn’t let me be a victim of the bullying. It might have been the moment he demanded I let him in, when I realized he wasn’t like all the others. Really, it doesn’t matter when, what matters is that he is more than I could have ever hoped for. To the naysayers who want to tell us we’re too young to be in love, I tell them to shove their negativity up their ass. This is my love, and no-one else gets to judge us.

”You okay there, hellcat?”

“I’m right here with you, why would I be anything other than happy.”

 

***

 

Nashville is more than I could have ever dreamed. The people, the atmosphere, the food! This place knows the way to my heart, for sure. As we walk through downtown Nashville, I can’t help but be awed – music follows you everywhere. It’s a whole row of bars and cowboy boot stores, and every single building has music pouring out of it. Life is a party here.

Tonight though, tonight I get to go and do the real cowboy thing. Tonight, we’re going line dancing, and I’m beyond excited, even if Mason has rolled his eyes so much that I feared they’d fall out at one point. You can call me a geek if you want, but no fucks given. The excitement is real. I slip into my cut off shorts, and white shirt when Mason enters the hotel room, loaded up with shopping bags.

“Had fun?” I ask.

He looks frustrated and sweaty but when he sees me, some of the tension lifts and he gifts me with that smile – the one that makes me want to do nothing but stay in bed with him all night.

“People are crazy. Like, I’ve been to some ghettos, and I’d pick those over a boot store any day. Women lose their goddamn minds!” He says, dropping the bags at his feet and walking towards me, he pushes me back on the bed and lays himself over me, holding himself up on his elbows.

“God, you’re sweaty,” I giggle and he nuzzles into my neck pretending to eat me, while tickling me.

“You haven’t been out there; you could fry and egg on the pavement. How do people live here?”

“Get off me, you goofball!” I squeal.

“You need to shower,” I tell him, pushing him off me as he laughs.

“Want to join me?” He asks, wagging his eyebrows.

“You’re in a better mood.”

“What can I say darlin’, you bring out the best in me.”

“Get in that shower, I want to get going!”

“You’re going to want these first,” he says, getting up from the bed and handing me one of the bags he came back with.

“What the…. You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“I know, but I wanted to.”

I open the bag, and pull out the box as he wanders into the bathroom and turns on the shower.

“Oh my God, Mason, these are beautiful!” I squeal, jumping up on his back. He catches me and spins me around as I kiss him on the cheeks, neck, wherever I can reach. “I love them!”

I drop down to the floor and run back to the bed with my new pair of beautiful black Lucchese boots, with white detailing.

“I thought they’d be great for tonight, plus, the entire way here, you were basically convincing me you are a cowgirl at heart. So obviously, you needed matching boots.”

“I don’t even know what to say. Thank you – so much!”

“I would do anything for you, Erin Michaels.”

I sigh at his words; He really is everything I could have ever dreamed. He kisses me, gently before pulling away and getting in the shower.

“Now get that pretty ass of yours dressed,” he calls out to me. “You don’t want to be late."

 

***

 

We stroll down Main Street hand in hand, and I can’t help but be fascinated with the people here. Everyone is like family, and they’re so nice. I watch as a woman walks out of a restaurant with a little girl, holding her hand as the little girl eats an ice cream cone with the other. I watch as the mom walks forward, and the little girl isn’t expecting it – she drops her cone and starts to cry. Her mom bends down and pulls her into the tightest hug imaginable, and I can see pure love running from the mom to the child.

Out of nowhere, it makes me think about my birth mom – and how she just gave me away. I try not to think about her too often; I mean, I’ve been so lucky with Monica as she’s quite literally the mom I never had, but sometimes, I can’t help but wonder what she’s like, and what made it so she had to abandon me the way she did.

“Where did you go, pretty girl?” Mason says, bumping my hip with his.

“I’m here, I was just thinking about my Mom,” I reply softly, despising the sound of sadness in my voice. That woman doesn’t get to do that to me.

“Monica?” he asks.

“No, my birth mom.”

“You’ve never mentioned her before,” he says, squeezing my hand tighter, and pulling me over to a bench so we can sit. “What’s going on in that amazing brain of yours?”

“I don’t know,” I shrug. “I just saw something that made me think about how much parents love their children; how much Monica loves me. I feel so happy, like my life is becoming whole, but sometimes, I wonder about her – my birth mother – if I look like her or if I have any of her quirks. I can’t help but ask why she gave me up the way she did. I try not to dwell on it, because, well, because Monica is so amazing, and sometimes it feels like a betrayal of her.”

“She would never think that; she loves you too much. Have you ever thought about trying to find your birth mom? Get some answers to those questions that are quietly eating you up?” He asks.

“Sometimes, but it’s never something I’ve thought about properly. Just a passing thought. I don’t really want anything to do with her,” I say, turning to him and smiling. ‘I have everyone I need in my life right now. It’s just curiosity, you know?”

“So would you like to track her down from a distance?”

“I don’t know. I already have so much. Is it wrong of me to want more?”

“If it’s something you want to explore, then you should; I’ll be by your side whatever you decide to do.”

“Thank you. I just… It just weirdly hit me that I’m kind of an adult now, and I have no idea where I come from. I’m moving on with my life, but there’s a little bit of me that feels… missing. Does that make any sense?”

“That darlin’, makes more sense than most things.”

“I just want to understand, I guess. I mean, if I had a child, I’d never be able to leave them. Not for anything.”

“Is that something you’ve thought about? Kids, I mean,” he asks.

“Well, yeah kind of,” I say blushing. “When I look at where my life is twenty years from now, I see us. Our family. I couldn’t imagine it any other way.”

He kisses me, taking me by surprise and I relax into him, feeling just how much he loves me.

“You make me a happy, happy man, Erin Michaels.”