Instead of driving us to his house, Ryan drives us out to the Mason County Park. “I figure we could use some place quiet to talk. My house will be crawling with family and reporters.”
We exit the car and take a seat side by side on a bench facing the pond. The weather is nice today. As a child, I can remember every funeral I ever went to—it was raining out. It makes me feel like Carson is smiling down on her family today.
“So, Ryan Dawson Monroe and not Cutter Dawson? You have some explaining to do, I just don’t get it.”
“Yeah, sorry about that, name is Ryan.” he holds his hand out to me.
I take his hand in mine. “You can’t charm your way through this conversation. Even your magic tongue can’t get you out of this. Why did you lie about your name?”
“I guess I should start at the beginning, huh?” He smiles weakly, running his hand through his hair.
I nod my head and wait for him to tell me his story.
“After my sister went missing, I became manic depressive. My family tried sending me to different doctors but none of them were able to help me...I used to cut myself a lot, earning me the nickname Cutter at school. I was picked on a lot, because of my scars and because of Carson. My parents had finally had enough, my mom felt like she had to watch me constantly. She was so tired. It was wearing her down always worrying about me and waiting for news about Carson that never came.” He takes my hand and brushes a kiss over my knuckles.
His touch still gives me tingles.
“I was there the day they brought you into the hospital. You didn’t even look my way. You were the most beautiful yet broken person I had ever laid eyes on. I knew right then that I wanted to know you. I saw the sadness in your eyes that I had felt in my own for the last few years. I wanted to take your pain away. We were never in the same group sessions or activities together, so you didn’t see a lot of me,” he confides.
His confession, his love for me before he knew me brings me to tears. God, I am a mess. I feel all over the place. My brain is so confused, but my heart tells me to hold him tight and never let him go.
“I overheard you talking about your Gram’s flower garden and how much you missed it. I wanted to see you smile. I thought if I left the flowers for you they’d bring a smile to your face, and they did. You have no idea how good it felt for me to see you smile, even if you didn’t know it was me that put it there.”
“Okay, but that day at the falls when we met, you could have told me who you were, but you didn’t? I want to know why.” I take my hand back from him. I am still pissed off about it. He isn’t going to win me over that easily. He has some major explaining to do.
“That was an intense day, if you remember. Well, I kept waiting for you to recognize me. I had seen you around town a few times and at the apartments. This all happened coincidentally by the way, I did not follow you. I wasn’t stalking you,” he throws in.
“But you didn’t recognize me, and I thought just maybe we could have a new start. I wouldn’t be Ryan Monroe, the guy that lost his sister. The lie grew a little bigger. I just wanted you to let me in. I wanted to be the guy you wanted, the guy you needed. I wanted to make you whole again. I thought if I told you I was enrolled at the university that I might come off as less of a creep.”
He wipes away my tears as I try to process his story. “Thank you for coming today. I wanted to call you, but I was afraid you hated me and would want nothing to do with me.” He takes my hand in his once more and bumps my shoulder. “Are we okay?”
“I am glad to be here, and I could never hate you, I kind of am in love with you. Cut—Ryan, okay, I am still trying to get used to the whole name thing. I guess we are okay.”
I look into his eyes seeing nothing but honesty and love.
We are just trying to figure out this life, how to get from one day to the next. And though we tried, we’ve lost it all somehow, but our love won’t be tragic.
“Promise, me one thing,” he says, softly.
“Anything.”
“Don’t ever let me go again.”
I grin at him. “Never.”
He cups my face and plants a tortuous kiss on the corner of my mouth. God, how I have missed his lips.
Him.
I have missed everything about him.
“What, is that all I get? I drove all the way out here and you give me a kiss like that?” I tease.
“No, I was just warming up.” he slides his tongue into my mouth and caresses my tongue slowly with his.
I think we sit on the bench at the park kissing until the edge of dark. My lips feel swollen and bruised, but I don’t care. I have missed his kisses. Being here with him, I finally feel like everything is going to be okay. He makes me feel whole again, well for the first time ever, if I am being honest.
This guy has my heart…my soul. He makes me feel alive.
I know he loves me with all his heart.
He has captured mine from the start, since he took my hand that day on the bridge. I just wasn’t looking close enough to see it, to really see him. Ryan was my light guiding me through the darkness, and now I am ready to leave all the bad behind. He has given me so much, and I plan to spend the rest of my days making it up to him.
“You can still call me Cutter, ya know.”
“I think I’d like to get to know Ryan.”
“I’d like that, Bella.”
June
“Are you ready to do this?” I ask as Ryan lugs our carry on bags through the gate. “You do have your passport?”
“Yes, babe, I have it all right here,” he says as he drops our bags and starts patting his pockets with a panicked face. I give him a look that says you better be joking or I will kill you. “Just kidding, got it right here,” he teases, pulling his passport from his back pocket.
I twirl the ring on my finger, it is back where it belongs, but I did make him ask again as Ryan Monroe and not Cutter Dawson. Everything we have shared has been real. The only things he lied about were his name and being a student.
I have forgiven him.
I mean, I am planning to marry the guy after all. Yeah, you read that right. The wedding is back on, but it won’t be at the falls. That place holds to much negative energy. The ceremony is going to be held in Gram’s flower garden. I can’t think of a more fitting place.
I am so excited to start the rest of my life with Ryan. We are about to go on an epic adventure together, and if by the time our Europe trip ends we haven’t killed each other then I know we are going to make it.
“You guys are so friggin cute, I can’t stand it.” Brianna snaps a picture of us with her cell phone.
You didn’t think Brianna would allow us to go to Europe and have a romantic adventure of a lifetime without her and Hurley, did you?
So, in the end everything has worked out. I think in a weird way of sorts Carson and Harlan were working together to bring Ryan and I together, and to bring their spirits peace. With all that has happened, life couldn’t have just thrown us together. I feel a bigger force was at play. All the greatest love stories don’t have to end in a tragedy. Ryan and I plan on having an epic love saga for as long as forever grants us.
I watch my friends and my fiancé board the plane to London ahead of me and I feel like all is right in the world. The town of Cold Creek Falls, no longer holds its record for being one of America’s safest college towns. It is at the bottom of the list thanks to the wicked ways of Nolan Rivers. My Gram always did say that everything the River’s boys touched turned to shit.
Oh, and my Gram, I almost forgot, her hip replacement has healed. She isn’t as mobile as she once was, but she is planning the wedding and, she has new planning partner in crime. Mrs. Monroe.
Ryan’s mother said that at least she could plan a wedding for one daughter. I told her I want them to reserve a chair for Carson in her memory. She got all teary eyed on me when I suggested we put a framed photo in her seat.
I look out the window of the plane and my mind is playing tricks on me. I could swear I just saw Harlan and Carson looking out the glass window of the airport and waving at me. I shake my head. It couldn’t have been, they are dead and gone.
“Are you okay, babe?” Ryan squeezes my hand.
“I’m fine, just thought I saw somebody that I used to know.” I lean over and give him a kiss, as the plane gets ready to take off.
Brianna and Hurley are already fighting over the armrest. Yeah, this is going to be a long flight. I just hope they don’t get us kicked off the plane by trying to have makeup sex in the bathroom.