She fucking threw me out, I can’t believe it. No woman has ever thrown me out of their bed. None have been given the chance to be part of my life. She doesn’t want me? How the hell could she not want me? I’m not trying to be egotistical, but please, I am Zander fucking Stern, who wouldn’t want me? Murphy, that’s who. The most perfect woman I have ever met. The woman who just cut off my balls. Well, if she thinks she can get rid of me that easily, she has another thing coming. First, though, I need to see Forrest, and that means I have to call and see Theo. Fuck!

After going home, showering and getting dressed, I call Theo. When he picks up, I get straight to it. I don’t want to talk about anything else.

“Theo, I need to see Forrest now.”

“Well, hello to you, too, son.”

“Knock it off, Theo. I don’t need your shit, but I do need to see Forrest. Are you going to allow me to, or am I going to have to find where you have him myself?”

“Look, Zander, I’m going to let you see him, but not until you and I talk. And son, try as you might, you won’t find him. You’re good, my son, I will give you that, but I’m better.”

Fuck!

“Fine, let’s get this shit over with. When and where?”

“My office, in an hour.”

I hang up, not saying any more. I knew he was going to do this, but he’s right, Theo is very good at what he does. I know I wouldn’t find Forrest if Theo doesn’t want me to. I guess I’ll let him say his peace and then be on my way.

* * *

An hour later, I pull up to Theo’s office and it’s empty; I don’t see any guards or anyone. That’s unusual.

“Hey Theo, you here?”

“Yeah, come to the back.”

I cautiously walk to the back. It’s so weird to not see the building covered with Theo’s people, not even one guard is present.

I finally see him sitting behind his desk, drinking a glass of scotch.

“It’s nice that you showed. I was worried you wouldn’t.”

“Yeah, well I wouldn’t have, other than you won’t let me have Forrest.”

He shrugs his shoulders and says, “Whatever it takes.”

“Where are your people or your guards?”

“I asked them to leave, I wanted it to be just me and you. Why are you asking? You think your old man needs his bodyguards? I’ll have you know, son, I can still hold my own.”

“Really, old man? Because the way I remember it is I knocked your ass down.”

“And like I told you, I let you. Only because you are my son and I knew you were going to be upset. That shit won’t happen again. So, fix a drink and sit your ass down. We have a lot to talk about.”

I stay standing, staring his way, trying to gain some kind of upper hand, but with Theo, that’s not happening. So, I fix a drink and sit.

We stay silent, drinking our scotches until Theo starts, “I want you to know yesterday was not meant to be an ambush. I have been wanting to tell you the truth since the day I found out you were mine.”

“And exactly how long ago was that?”

“You’re about to be twenty-eight, I found out when you were 4, you do the math. The minute I saw you, I knew you were mine. Catherine tried to deny it, but she couldn’t lie to me. Anyone who really looks at us can tell you’re mine. I hated her for lying and not telling me about you, but as much as I hated it, I still loved her.”

He takes another sip of his drink and says, “Your girl recognized it. She didn’t continue digging, but she asked. She said it was uncanny that we weren’t related.”

“Yes, well she’s a smart woman.”

“And beautiful. How is she?”

“I don’t want to talk about Murphy. You wanted to talk, so fucking talk.”

Theo starts laughing. “Oh, my boy, I can tell from your voice and your demeanor, you got it bad. Sounds like she has your panties all in a twist. I can’t wait to get to know her better. I liked her very much when we met.”

“When was this exactly? And for the record, you will not be getting to know her better.”

“She came to me, asking for help against your mom. I told her how I had sold all the debt I had to Catherine. But then I thought if it were for you, if she is the one, I would do something to help. I haven’t given her an answer yet. What should I do? Do you want me to help her? I mean, after all, if she’s going to be family, then I feel like I should.”

“Why would you do that? Betray Mom like that? I thought you loved her?”

Theo’s voice changes, you can tell I hit a nerve. “I do love your mother, Katie is the love of my life. I even went to her and warned her to fix this. I don’t want to do anything to hurt the woman I love, but I will do it for you. Don’t you see, son? As much as I love that stubborn ass woman, I love you, too. I’ve been there, giving her all I could. I figure I owe you now.”

“What? You owe me? Let me tell you something, Theo, I don’t want anything from you. You weren’t there, you have no idea what it was like to know he was abusing Mom.”

Theo stands abruptly, making his chair push back into the wall.

“Don’t you fucking tell me I don’t know what it was like. I knew, I knew it all, and I sure in the hell know more than you or your brothers ever fucking will. Do you think it was easy for me to see her like that? DO YOU?! I begged her to leave him countless times, I even threatened to kill him. You know what she did? She begged me not to, she sacrificed her life for you boys. She wouldn’t leave, she refused every fucking time he hit her and I begged. She threatened that if I tried to kill him, she would never forgive me. I couldn’t take it anymore, that’s why I left her and didn’t find out about you till later. I married, trying to forget about her. It worked until she called me and needed me. She dragged me back into her arms, and I went willingly. You have no idea what I went through, so don’t sit there and tell me I didn’t know. I was fucking helpless when it came to her, still am. Because if I were stronger, we would not be having this conversation now. You would have known about me since the day I found out about you.”

Theo straightens his suit and sits back down, refilling his drink.  He downs it and then refills it again.

“Zander, when I found out about you, I tried to get her to leave again, and she still wouldn’t. I had a wife and a son at that time, I was willing to leave them, but she wouldn’t hear of it. So, I insisted on being around as much as I could. It was the only thing she would allow. I was there, though, boy, so don’t tell me that you didn’t have me around, it wasn’t every day, and it wasn’t to claim you as mine out in the open, but it was all I could get. My wife knew, though. I told her the minute I found out. She knew about your mother. I’m not a liar, so she knew everything. I tried as hard as I could to get to spend what limited time I had with you.”

“Did you know how he treated me?”

“I knew he hit you once. I had taken you boys hunting, and when I saw a bruise, you were trying to cover up, I ran to confront your mother. She said I was being ridiculous, that she had never seen him hit you and it was probably from one of the boys. She was in fucking denial, I knew it. So, I went to your…I went to William. I came straight out and asked him. He said he never touched you and that it was none of my business if he had. He asked me why I was so interested in his sons. I covered it up by beating the shit out of him and told him that if he ever laid a hand on any of you again, I would kill him. I prayed he wouldn’t again.”

Theo looks down like he is devastated by something. Almost like he is replaying something in his head. I ask, “What is it?”

“How many times, Zander? How many times didn’t I know?”

I cleared my throat and told him, “Not many, really. I could handle what he did physically. It was all the rest. I think he knew I wasn’t his. He treated me like I was scum. He wouldn’t even acknowledge me, ever. I must have been his living nightmare.”

“I’m sorry, son, I’m so sorry. If I could do it all over again, I would. I would have killed him, like I wanted to before you were born.”

I grab the bottle off Theo’s desk and pour myself another drink, lean back into my chair and tell him, “When I was a teenager, I wanted to kill him. I found him on top of Mom, beating her. I jumped on his back to get him off her, I went after him with all I had. Until Mom made me stop. She told me I couldn’t, that she wouldn’t let me. I wanted him dead, and I will never forgive myself for not killing him or for keeping her secret for all those years.”

I grab the bottle again and pour myself and Theo another drink.

“I guess I can understand what you mean about Mom convincing you to stay quiet and not doing anything. I shouldn’t have let her convince me, but I did.”

Theo nods. “She’s a hard woman, your mother. But she’s mine. Before my wife died, she told me to go be happy, to make Catherine see the error of her ways.”

He lets out a laugh. “My wife didn’t know your mother. She didn’t know that Catherine never does anything she doesn’t want. So, for years I still let her hide us, just to be with her. Not anymore, Zander. Now that you and your brothers know, I’m taking my woman and finally making her mine. None of you, including her, will stand in my way.”

“You don’t think she’ll have you now?”

“Have you met your mother? That woman will drive me to an early grave. She’s so pissed at me right now for telling everyone about us. I’m surprised she hasn’t put out a hit on me.”

I laugh at that. He’s right, my mom is not one to play with.

“What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to storm my sorry ass back over there with all my things tonight because I’m moving in. I know she won’t come to me, so I’m going to her.”

He looks at me and asks, “Do you plan on standing in my way?”

I take a minute to think about it and tell him, “No, I won’t, but what about the rest?”

“I told Teddy. He said he already kind of knew. He said that’s why he hated you all for years. He thought that maybe you all were mine.”

“Are they?”

“No, I would love to say yes, but you and Teddy are my only sons.”

“What else did Teddy say?”

“He needs time, but at least it wasn’t a complete shock. He didn’t seem too bad off. I’m going to give him some time, then I think we should all get together and discuss it. Gabriel, Liam and Vin, too.”

He continues. “What about us, son? Do you think you can forgive me and accept me as your father now?”

“When I was little, I used to already think of you as a father. You were the only man who made me feel like you saw me. I wanted you to be my dad, not William. I’m not going to lie to you, I need some time, too. A lot went on when you weren’t there, and I need to get adjusted to not thinking of William as my piece of shit father. I think I want to try, though.”

I watch Theo wiping his eyes, trying to remain strong. I can tell, though, what I said got to him.

He clears his throat and says, “I know we’re supposed to be strong, in control men, but fuck it. I want you to know, Zander. I have always loved you, I am so proud of the man that you have become. When I was a younger man, I had to fight and work my way into the position I have. It wasn’t easy to get here. You have Catherine as a mother, and you could have left it at that. But you went beyond her. You didn’t rely on Mommy’s reputation; you made your own. That’s why I warned Catherine about you. You have become as feared as your mother, and that is a fight no one wants to see. I know you don’t want to fight your mother, but I also know you’re torn between her and Murphy. I’ll help you, son, if you need me to. But make sure it’s what you want because with Catherine, there is no going back.”

“I don’t know what to do about Murphy.”

Theo slams his hand on his desk and says, “Marry the damn girl. Knock her up and make us grandparents. Catherine wouldn’t hurt her then.”

I laugh. “If it was only that easy. Mom already suggested it. Red won’t hear of it. She thinks it’s the dumbest shit she’s ever heard.”

“Wow, Katie suggested it? And Murphy turned her down? I have got to get to know this girl.”

“Hey, Theo, why do you call mom Katie?”

He smiles and swirls his drink around. “I love Catherine. She is the most infuriating woman I know. She’s hard-headed, spicy, sassy, she has more fire and drive in her than anyone I’ve ever met. She likes to be in control, and she can be vicious. But when Catherine lets her walls down for me, she becomes my Katie. Katie is soft, sweet and easy to love. Katie lets me take charge and be her man. When those walls come down, she’s mine and only mine. I love both of them. That’s why I always go back to her and never stray because she has so many versions of herself that I never needed another woman. She is all the woman I can handle. Sort of like your girl, I presume.”

I think about what he said, and shit if it’s not exactly like that.

“Fuck, I found a woman just like Mom! I’m a sick fucker!”

Theo continues to laugh. “No, my boy, you're just like your dad. We need a woman that knocks us down a peg or two. In our world, we have to be some badass sons-of-bitches. A weak woman would never do. I want a woman who can be as strong and powerful as I am. Not a woman who wants to coddle me. Your mother is something else when she’s mad. Let me tell you….”

“Nope, that’s where I draw the line. I do not need to hear how my mother and you get your kicks. Gross, old man!”

“I am sure your woman is just as fiery and passionate.”

“She is, and man, she let them walls down last night, and it was heaven. I never felt that way about a woman.”

“Then what happened?”

“She threw me out this morning. She grabbed all my clothes and threw them out of the room and told me to get the fuck out.”

Theo bends over, laughing hysterically. “Oh, I love this girl already. For the first time, a woman is treating Zander fucking Stern like a piece of meat. You know, we might have to change your name to Zander Trahan so that shit won’t happen again.”

“Oh, really? Like Mom’s never done that to you?”

He stops laughing then and straightens up. “Remember, you don’t want to talk about me and your mother.”

“That’s what I thought.” I pause and then say, “Her friend was attacked last night, she found some way to blame me. She said that if Forrest is on ice, then who else could it be other than my mother? That’s why I need to see him. I need to clear this shit up and find out who is fucking with her.”

“I have him, but Zander, he’s a boss. You’re not yet, so I will handle him, do you hear me? I promise I will find out everything he knows.”

We stand to leave, and I tell Theo, “Damn, I wish I could see the look on Mom’s face when you go strutting in the house demanding you’re staying. It’s going to be priceless.”

He slams his arm over my shoulder and says, “Then come, after you watch your old man knock some sense into Forrest. You can come watch me take control of Catherine. You really should come and watch a pro at work, it looks like you’ll need the lesson. If your redhead is anything like my Catherine, man, you are going to be in for one hell of a ride.”