Chapter Fourteen
Logan’s heart started pounding in thick, heavy beats as he trailed behind her. The fire blazed in the fireplace, Bubbles seemed to be asleep in the corner, and he sat with Tess on the long, rust-colored couch. She sat on one end, facing him, tucking her long legs beneath her as she pushed her wild mane of curls back from her face.
“So,” she said. “Talk to me. I’m sure you have questions.”
“Yeah . . .” He cleared his throat. “Couple of things.”
“The legal stuff?”
“Well, sure, we can start with that. I assume you’re going to have papers drawn up by your top-notch New York lawyers. What exactly am I signing?”
“You’ll be waiving all rights to any claim of paternity. I’ll put your name on the birth certificate, for my child’s sake. Every child needs to have that; a blank space would be mean. But as far as legal or financial rights or responsibilities, custody, anything of that nature, you’ll have to agree to give up all of that. To be blunt, this won’t be your child, Logan. Only mine.” Tess paused, searching his face. “You sure you’re all right with that?”
“One hundred percent,” he said firmly. “I’d like to look the papers over, just to see what I’m signing, but yes, I’ll agree to all that. C’mon, Tess. You can give a child everything in the world. Me . . . not so much. But . . .” He hesitated, not wanting to offend her, but he had to ask. “That goes both ways. You won’t change your mind at some future point? Come after me and demand that I be a dad, start asking things of me? Sue me over it?”
She blinked and her jaw dropped. It was crystal clear to him those things had never even crossed her mind, which reassured him. “No,” she said. “I won’t. But if you want me to sign something swearing to that, I will. Reciprocation is fair play.”
He only nodded. He trusted her. Then he said, “Reciprocation. . . Funny you bring up that word. Because I have a request of my own. Separate from this.” Shit. What he’d thought of made sense on the drive over here, but now, saying it out loud filled him with apprehension. He’d sound like an idiot. Well . . . too bad. “I’m not saying my agreeing to be your donor is dependent on what I’m about to ask of you—it’s not. Okay? I agree to do this, and on your terms. No worries there. But . . . yeah, some reciprocation of goodwill would be appreciated. I need a favor.”
She smiled and said, “Okay, I’m listening.”
“This might sound crazy,” he admitted. “Yeah, it probably is. But I’m going to ask you anyway. Because I realized tonight, you’re in a position to help me out with something too.”
“Go on. How can I help you?”
He sighed. Was he really going to do this? Yup. Yup, he was. It was worth it. “My mom’s dying. There, I said it.”
Tess’s gorgeous eyes filled with sadness. “I’m so sorry to hear that.”
“Thanks.” He swallowed hard and barreled on. “I realized that she’s focused on me so intensely these past few months because she’s afraid after she passes, I’m going to be alone . . . and maybe go back to drinking.” He held up a hand before Tess could say a word. “I know I won’t. I know I’ll be wrecked with grief, but I’d like to think I can get through that without the bottle.”
“I’m sure you will.” Her voice was gentle, kind but not pitying. He loved that.
“Thank you. Anyway . . . so the thing is . . .” He shifted in his seat, raked his hands through his hair. “I thought, maybe if she sees I’m not alone, it’ll help her relax . . . make her happy. So would you be willing to pretend to be my girlfriend for a while?” He watched her eyes widen. “Yes, I know it’d be a lie. I don’t mean to deceive her, I don’t want to play with her emotions, you understand? I just . . .” His chest tightened. “I want her to have whatever peace she can while she’s still on this earth. If she doesn’t have to worry about something dumb like this . . .”
“I’ll do it,” Tess said. “I can do that. You’re doing me a tremendous service. I’d be very happy to return a favor, and for a good reason.”
Now it was his turn to be slack jawed. “You don’t think I’m crazy?”
“No. I think you’re a son who loves his mother and wants her to be happy in her final days.” Her mouth curved softly. “I can’t think of anything more decent than that.”
“Even though we’d be lying to her.”
“For a really good reason.”
He wanted to laugh. He was shocked that he’d even thought of something like this in the first place, and she was ready and willing to go along with it? Either she was amazing, or as crazy as he was. Possibly both. “It’s insane. I know that. I just . . .”
“I said yes.” Her grin and tone were playful. “But we’ll have to construct a story. Basic things, in case there are questions.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Okay.”
“Also, right off the top of my head? What about the fact that I’ll be going back to New York in a few months? How do we address that when she asks?”
“Oh. Good point. Uh . . .” Damn. He thought quickly. “We’ll just say at that point, we’re having a long-distance relationship. Your life is in New York, mine is here. You’re rich and more flexible, you have the house here, so you can come visit me and all that. It’ll work. But . . .” His chest constricted again. “I’d love to say she’ll still be here by the spring, so we’ll have to come up with a more elaborate story then. But I don’t know if she will. This could be a few months, or more than a few months. I don’t know. I really don’t. You still okay with that?”
“Yes. It’s okay. I’m in for as long as you need me to be, Logan.”
“Thank you.” He gazed at her with wonder. “You’re pretty awesome.”
“Back at you.” She smiled.
Something in his chest flared with warmth, a sweet blast of feeling. “I appreciate this. I really do. And hey, since it’s not a real relationship, feel free to kick my ass anytime I do something you don’t like.”
“I’d do that even if we were in a real relationship.” Her eyes sparkled with more mischief. “But now that I have your blessing? Game on, Carter.”
He laughed. “Great. So, listen . . . You’re out here all by yourself. I know what a strong woman you are. But during the, uh . . . process, you can lean on me. And on this thing, I’m your cheerleader. I want you to have your baby.” He reached out and took her hand. “I know I bailed on you before. It won’t happen again. I’m here for you, Tess, however you need me. You’ll see.”
Her mouth dropped a little, those pretty lips forming an O of surprise.
“You need a ride to or from the clinic, you want someone to go with you, you want someone to be here to hold your hand when you get home . . . I can do that.” He rubbed his thumb along the top of her soft skin. “All you have to do is ask. Okay?”
“I’d really like that.” Her voice dropped, was a little thick. Light pink dusted her cheeks. “That’s . . . that’s comforting to know. Thank you.”
“You’ll see that you can trust me again.”
She shook her head. “You don’t have to prove—”
“I want to.” He cut her off firmly, leaving no room for debate. “So. Your appointment’s at one? What time should I be here? We’ll go together; I’ll pick you up.”
“Noon, if you could. Twelve fifteen at the latest. The clinic’s just outside city limits, and I always like to be five minutes early wherever I go.”
“Okay then. Noon tomorrow, done deal.” He kept rubbing her hand. It felt good, and she wasn’t pulling it away, so maybe she liked it too. “I don’t know what the testing involves. I can tell you I’m clean as far as STDs and all that fun stuff.”
She grinned. “Good to know. I’m not sure either. I guess to see how high your sperm count is, if they’re healthy swimmers, all of that.”
“Well, I’m not twenty-eight, I’m thirty-eight. Don’t know how age affects it, but I’m sure it does . . .” He frowned. “I’ll be thirty-nine in May. Think it’s a problem?”
“Easy, old man. I’m sure it’s fine.” She tipped her head to the side, assessing him. “Did you and your ex-wife try to have children?”
“No, we tried not to. She was on the pill. We had too much going on, we weren’t ready yet. We weren’t going to try for kids until we were thirty. We had a plan . . .” Memories crept in. They didn’t cause a kick of pain; he didn’t feel anything, which was good. He shrugged. “So I don’t know if my boys are good swimmers. I use condoms.”
She blinked at that. “Use? Present tense? Are you seeing someone?” Her hand slowly but surely slipped out of his.
“No, I’m not seeing anyone now. But I’ve dated. Had some . . . encounters.” He shrugged again. “I don’t do relationships, but I’m not a very good monk.” He grinned, but peered harder at her. “Does that bother you?”
“Not at all. Your dating life is none of my business,” she said. Her tone held no malice, no edge. “I was just surprised. I thought, from your use of present tense, that you were seeing someone.”
“There was someone I was seeing last year, kind of on and off,” he said. “Casual, not serious. But after a while, I knew she wanted it to become more, and I didn’t. So I thought it was fair to her to end it. That was about five months ago. End of the summer. Haven’t had any sex since then, by the way. Guess you should know that too?”
Tess bit down on her lip, trying to hide a grin. “That’s honest. But you know, you didn’t have to tell me that if you didn’t want to.”
“Hey, if we’re going into something like we’re about to go into? It’s a big deal. We need to be open and honest. Have each other’s back. That’s how I see it, anyway.”
She looked at him with bright eyes, nodding in agreement. “I like that. A lot, actually. You mean, like a team?”
“Yeah, sure. I mean . . .” He shifted in his seat, scooted a bit closer. “You’re trusting me with the biggest thing you could. I’m trusting you with lying to my mom to make her happy, which is a big deal to me. We’ve both got a lot to lose if it went sideways. So yeah, we need to be a team.” He wasn’t sure, but the look on her face seemed like she was kind of in awe, and delighted, and even excited. She took his hand in hers, and he welcomed the return of her soft skin, the warmth of it. A swell of something strong washed through him.
She slid along the cushions, edging closer. “We better come up with a story together. Because the thing is, if we’re going to sell this to her, you’ll have to sell it to the other people in your life too. You realize that, right? If I’m your girlfriend . . .”
He swore under his breath. “Hadn’t thought that far ahead.”
She caressed his hand, echoing the tenderness of his earlier gesture. “We’re a team now, right? We can do this. It might even be fun.”
He stilled. Her words sank in . . . What he’d asked her to do sank in. “Why are you so willing to do this, to lie for me?” he asked.
“Because I know you,” she said. “Besides, the bottom line is, if you can do something so huge for me, this is the least I can do for you.”
He gazed at her, reached out with his free hand to brush a stray curl back from her eyes. “You’re one of the most generous people I’ve ever met,” he murmured.
“I could say the same for you right now,” she replied. “And you’re making me feel so assured about all this . . . You’re an honorable man.”
“I don’t know about that. Some of the thoughts I’m having this second aren’t very honorable.” Lust zipped through him as he stared at her. Her beautiful face, her alluring presence . . . Christ almighty, she cast spells on him, he was convinced of it.
Her eyes, so blue, took on a new light. She looked at him from beneath her long lashes, the look of a siren. “You know . . . this arrangement . . . if I’m going to be your fake girlfriend, we’ll have to kiss and stuff.” Her thin brow lifted, a sassy look if he ever saw one. It made his skin heat. “Maybe we should practice.”
His blood seared through him, racing south. “Jesus,” he half growled.
“Haven’t you thought about that?” She scooted another inch closer, tempting him, enticing him.
“Truth? Yeah, it crossed my mind. More than once.”
“We do have chemistry,” she murmured as he moved closer. “Don’t we?”
“Yeah, we do. Maybe we should start that practicing . . .” His heart was close to bursting out of his damn chest, but he managed to look right into her eyes. His blood pulsed through his body. God, he wanted her right there, right then. She was so close, he could smell her light scent, some musky perfume, vanilla maybe? Something that drugged him. She was staring at his mouth now . . . The air was thick with sexual tension.
Yet they both hesitated. “Kissing on demand is a little different than getting lost in the moment, huh.”
She breathed out a tiny huff of a laugh, her disbelief pretty clear, at how things had turned. She licked her lips and said, “I was just thinking that. Suddenly we both got shy. What’s up with that?”
Grinning, her fingers inched forward to touch his knee, and his cock throbbed. Jesus, he was so turned on already, and all she’d done was move in close and lightly touch his knee.
“I mean,” she continued, “if we’re going to be a fake couple . . . we’ll need to spend a little time together. And the more we get to know each other, the more real it’s going to seem. Right?”
“Right.” He intertwined his fingers with hers. “Well. This just got even more interesting, huh?” They laughed together, breaking the tension a little. But his body was on fire, and he had to calm it down. “Or, maybe I should go now,” he said.
Her eyes flew wide. “What? Why?”
“Because I’m raging inside,” he admitted gruffly, noting the way her high color deepened. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop at two or three kisses.”
“Who said you have to?” Her voice was low and a little wicked. “I’m not going to count . . .” Her eyes had gone dark with desire. In her gaze, he clearly saw the same lust he was battling. She closed the distance between them, practically putting herself in his lap. Her warm breath fanned against his lips as she whispered, “Practice time. Kiss me.”
He didn’t need to be asked twice. He pressed his mouth to hers, taking slow, sumptuous sips from her lips as his hands gently cradled her head. She responded slowly at first, but he held her, kissing her until her muscles relaxed under his hands and she eased against him. Within a minute, their mutual attraction took over like wildfire. Her mouth opened to him and he deepened the kisses, his tongue sweeping inside, wanting to taste her, desperate for more. She arched against him, pressing herself close as her arms snaked around his neck. His fingers tangled in her hair, such a thick mass of curls, so soft . . .
“Just friends,” he whispered against her lips between kisses, assuring her as much as himself. “Friends with an agenda . . . that happens to include sexy time.”
She smiled, melting into his arms. “I like the sound of that.”
He kissed her again and again. “Me too.”
She tipped her head back to offer better access to her throat. He kissed, licked, nipped his way along her chin and down her neck. Her fingers twisted in his hair, her sighs of pleasure making his blood race. “Best deal I’ve ever made,” she said on a hitched breath. “Both sides, nothing but win.”
He chuckled lightly. “I don’t know how we got here.”
“I don’t either,” she said, arching against him as his hands ran up her sides. He kissed her neck as his hands covered her small, perfect breasts, bringing a sweet moan from her. “Friends with an agenda is going to be really fun, I think . . .”
He caressed her breasts with one hand while tangling the other in her hair, and looked into her eyes. “Hmm . . . this is more than kissing.” His thumb feathered over her nipple, which pebbled beneath his touch. Even as her breath caught, he asked, “Is this okay?”
She arched forward, pressing her breast harder against his hand. “Hell yes, that’s okay . . .” With a soft moan, her eyes slipped closed as she let him explore her. Watching her face, he fondled one breast, than the other, mesmerized by her. He was rock hard already, and his jeans felt way too tight. Her delicate features flushed with color as her willowy body undulated beneath him . . . she was breathtaking.
“God, you’re beautiful.” His hungry mouth consumed hers, taking her under with commanding kisses. He eased her down to lie back against the cushions, positioning himself over her as his demanding mouth took and gave. “I want you right now. So much.”
“I want you too,” she admitted in a whisper. Her fingertips ran along his beard as they drowned in each other. “But . . . I think . . .”
“If you can still think while I’m kissing you,” he said, “I’m not doing a very good job of it.”
She laughed. “Believe me, you’re doing a good job of it. Too good . . .” He ravaged her neck again and her head fell to the side to give him better access. “It’s been a while since I had sex too, you know.”
“How long?” he asked as his lips trailed down her throat.
“Labor Day weekend.”
“About as long as me.” He lifted his head and stared into her eyes. “Maybe we should fix that.”
“That’s kind of what I was thinking about,” she confessed in a whisper.
He crushed his mouth to hers, kissing her deep and hard and hot. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer as their tongues tangled, bringing a lusty groan from deep in his throat.
“Tess . . .” He aligned his body with hers. She fit him perfectly. “This is getting dangerous now.”
“I know.” Her hands moved over his broad shoulders, down his back. “But I can’t seem to stop.”
He growled against her mouth. “Christ, woman.” They kissed urgently, the heat level rising, their hands roaming . . . “If we don’t stop,” he rasped, “I’m gonna get you pregnant right here, right now.”
Her eyes flew wide and she froze.
“That was a joke,” he said quickly, even as his erection throbbed against her belly.
“Well, wait.” Her hands went to hold his face. As he looked into her eyes, he could see something working behind them as she said, “What if we . . . I mean, you have agreed to be my donor . . . There’s more than one way to get me pregnant. And one way is a lot more fun than the other.”
Now it was his turn to go wide-eyed. He stopped cold and stared down at her, all flushed and gorgeous beneath him. “Can we do that?”
“Why not?” She shifted her hips only a drop, but the friction against him made him want to moan. “I mean . . .”
“I have to take tests, you said.” His brain was foggy with lust, and his body aligned with hers made it even harder to think. But he held her gaze. “What are you saying?”
“Well, if we do things at the clinic, it’s a limited number of attempts,” she said. “But if we do it the old-fashioned way . . . more attempts would mean a better chance of success, right?” She brought his head down to press his mouth to hers for another kiss. “Not to mention that we’re like a house on fire here . . . We’re both unattached, we’re clearly attracted to each other . . .”
“Ya think?” He ground his erection against her, making them both groan.
She kissed him, her hands on his face, stroking his beard as their tongues swirled and he pressed into her. “Is that weird?” she asked. “Would you be okay with that?”
“Would you be okay with that?” he countered. “Because I have no problem sleeping with you, lady. Right now, I want you so bad I can’t think straight, because what you’re suggesting makes total sense to me.”
She wrapped herself around him, her long legs and graceful arms, and kissed him passionately. He responded in a heartbeat, gladly sinking into her, holding her close and tight as they kissed. Her hips rocked against his erection and he groaned into her mouth.
But she pulled away. They were both panting, as breathless as if they’d run a sprint. “Wait. I guess we should talk to the doctor first. About doing it that way. The natural way. I guess?”
His whole body pulsed with want and need, but he nodded. “Probably.”
“Okay. Tomorrow. But tonight, you don’t have to stop kissing me yet . . .” She grinned, a mixture of adorable and seduction, and his insides flooded with fresh desire.
“Actually, I do,” he said when he found his voice. “Because I don’t want to stop, and if we need to talk to your doctor, make a plan . . . we should stop now.”
“Okay. Yes, all right.” Her fingers traced over his cheeks, along his beard. “But I really don’t want to, for the record.”
“Neither do I, for the record.” He smiled down at her in wonder. Her eyes were bright with desire, her cheeks flushed, her lips a bit swollen from their kissing. “You’re so damn beautiful, you know that?”
She smiled back and whispered, “So are you.”
He couldn’t help it, he lowered his head to kiss her again. He had to, he needed to. But he worked to bring down the heat, to kiss her slowly, until it was a sweet, tender exchange instead of an urgent blast of fiery need. “When we have sex for the first time,” he finally said, his voice low and deliberate, “it’s not going to be on the couch. I’m taking you in that big, fantastic bed of yours, you’re going to wrap those insanely gorgeous legs around me, and we’ll go all night.”
She gave a tiny shiver. “That sounds wonderful.” Her eyes locked on his. They were still wrapped in an embrace, and his hard-on hadn’t gone down, but they were breathing calmer. “Really, the more I think about it, it makes sense.”
“What does?”
“Your being my donor the old-fashioned way. If it’s here at home, instead of a clinical setting, I’ll be more relaxed. And the more times we try . . .”
“I hear you.”
“I’m talking about sleeping together regularly, Logan. We’re both clear on that?”
“Yeah.” He brushed her curls back from her face. “Are you sure about this?”
“If you’re okay with it, yes.”
“Tess.” He ground his hips against hers, his rock-hard erection pressing against her warm heat, making their breath catch. “I want you. I’m more than okay with it. I just don’t want to cross any . . . inappropriate lines, you know?”
“I know. And I appreciate that so much. Like I said, you’re an honorable man.” Her blue eyes danced as she reminded him, “I’m the one who suggested it. And it’s my show, right?”
“Absolutely, Miss Harrison. You’re the boss.”
“Well, I guess I am, but . . . yes, it’s agreeing to regular sex, but not a relationship. We wouldn’t be actually dating, more like friends with benefits. But it’s a team effort.”
“There’s that word again,” he cajoled. “Team.” He tweaked her nose and grinned. “We’ll be a good team. It’s nice to think of us helping each other. And come on, this kind of help? Can be a hell of a lot of fun. Just know that . . . the lusty stuff aside . . .” He looked into her eyes and promised, “I’m here for you. As a friend.”
She caressed his face, ran her hand through his hair, and said, “Right back at you.” Her tone, filled with emotion, made his insides squeeze. “And I’m a good friend to have. I promise.”
He kissed her once more, long and deliberate, as if silently sealing the deal. They looked into each other’s eyes and smiled. Then he lifted himself off of her. It wasn’t without difficulty; his jeans felt downright constrictive. When he got home, he’d have to either take the coldest shower ever or just take care of himself; he’d never get to sleep this fired up. They untangled themselves from the embrace and separated.
“I’ll leave in a minute,” he said. “Little hard to walk with a raging hard-on.”
She laughed, a warm, full sound that shimmered over his skin. “Stay as long as you want.” She licked her lips, definitely swollen from his kisses, and swept her hair back with both hands. “And I’ll try not to think about how much I want to see and touch that raging hard-on of yours.”
He groaned in agony. “Not helping!”
They laughed together this time.
She grasped his hands, looked into his eyes, and said. “Dream Team. That’s us. You’re making my dream come true.” She lifted his hands to her mouth and kissed his knuckles. “Thank you again, Logan. So much. I really don’t know how to thank you.”
“You already did. So stop thanking me now,” he said. “Giving me a complex.”
“Too bad.”
He grinned. “Come on, seriously, you don’t have to thank me anymore. Please. I know you’re grateful, I promise.”
“Fiiiiine.” She grinned back. “How’s that hard-on doing?”
The thought of her thinking about it made it throb anew. “It does better when you don’t talk about it.”
She barked out a laugh and released his hands. “Oh, Logan. We can really . . . We can have fun with this.”
“Yeah. Maybe we can.” He took a deep breath, trying to shake the lust from his system. “Friends,” he said, scrubbing his hands over his face in an effort to break her spell. “Friends who can trust each other.”
“And who maybe can enjoy some sexy time too,” she whispered.
He reached up to cup her chin and said somberly, “It’d be an honor.”
Her eyes rounded, a look of astonishment sweeping her features. “I . . . wow.”
He smiled, dropped a light kiss on her mouth, and released her. “Don’t forget, along with the promise of fantastic and frequent sex, I’ll have legal papers to sign. That’s all on you, right?”
“Yes.” She smoothed out her sweater, working to recompose herself. “I’ll call my attorney in the morning. You sure you’re okay with all that, right? And I’ll add in the part that I’ll never come back to try to make you do anything down the line.”
“I’ll sign all the papers,” he said. “I don’t want a baby, you do. He or she is all yours. You don’t have to worry.”
“And when we’re with your mom, or out in public, I’ll be the best damn girlfriend you could ever ask for,” she said. “For as long as you need me to be.”
Unaccustomed to the intense emotions that were knocking him around, he moved in and lightly pressed his mouth to hers. Her hands lifted to hold his jaw as she returned the kiss, caressing his beard as she did. The gentle, almost tender kiss ignited something fresh, deep inside him. Something like a renewal. He was looking forward to seeing what came next. Life had just gotten a hell of a lot more interesting.
This situation would benefit them both. They could be friends, helping each other achieve their goals. They were both being open about their wants. No pressure on him about a relationship or expectations, which was how he liked it. There’d be papers to sign, keeping it all legal from her end. And the most important part: Tess would have the baby she so deserved to have. If he passed all the tests, and the doctor gave them the green light, it was all good.
As for her being his fake girlfriend, that could actually be fun—he could see that now. He knew his mother would adore her. Tess would get what she wanted, and he’d get what he wanted. And there could possibly be hot sex thrown in there between friends, a game-changing bonus he hadn’t seen coming. Game on.
They were being honest with each other, had a clear agreement, carefully planning everything together, with everything out in the open. What could possibly go wrong?
“So, Mr. Carter?” Those wide blue eyes of hers absolutely sparkled as she smiled gently. God, she was so damn pretty. What a bonus. “We have a deal?”
He cupped her chin again and smiled as he looked at her. She was a fascinating woman. This Long Island lady had blown into his life like a force of nature. She was smart as hell, kind and funny, knew how to separate business from pleasure . . . and also was open to mixing the two. The spots of color on her high cheekbones deepened as he gazed at her. Holy hell, this strikingly gorgeous woman wanted him as much as he wanted her.
Well, he couldn’t think of a more worthy teammate. Or a friend. Or a sexier potential lover. All he knew was he was a lucky man, having fallen somehow into an ideal situation. He could help make this incredible woman’s biggest dream come true. That was paramount, and made him feel better than anything he’d done in a very, very long time. He could help someone . . . make a lasting difference. Do something deeply good, just for the sake of it, and then be able to walk away.
“Miss Harrison,” he murmured, “we have a deal.”