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Between You and Me by Jennifer Gracen (4)

Chapter Three
Tess set Bubbles down as soon as they stepped through the door. The dog took off, skittering across the polished hardwood floor and barking happily. The warmth of the house was a wonderful contrast to the cold outdoors; Tess pulled off her leather gloves and opened her coat. She hadn’t been there since last March, and she looked around with a smile as she took it in, the familiar space a comfort. The door closed behind her and she turned to gaze at her house manager, who flashed an amiable grin as he stepped toward her.
From the first time she’d met him, she’d thought Logan Carter was a seriously striking man. Incredibly big and tall—tall enough for her to think him tall—broad and muscled, with shaggy blond hair and pale green eyes, he was ruggedly handsome, a quietly powerful presence. He reminded her of a Viking; picturing him in that garb with a heavy sword in his hand wasn’t too far a stretch.
But his beard, a shade darker than his hair, was neatly kept. His gorgeous eyes twinkled with geniality, not bloodlust. His large hands were calloused from hard work, and his cheeks were often ruddy from working outdoors. Standing in her elegant foyer in his worn jeans and work boots, navy hoodie under a royal-blue ski jacket, he looked a little out of place, but his presence was both commanding and reassuring. She’d always liked him, and yes, liked looking at him too.
But his powerful stance and chiseled good looks weren’t the only reason she found him striking. It was the way he carried himself. This strong, very physical man was quiet, somber, and intelligent, which to her made him only more potent. He was attentive to details, clever, and was a born leader—he radiated natural command. Quick to grin, but not to talk; unlike most handsome men she’d met, this guy wasn’t in love with himself or the sound of his own voice. He thought before he spoke; she loved those pauses because they held weight. She loved to coax big smiles from him, because she sensed he didn’t do it often enough. A gentle giant. She’d wondered more than once how a man like him had gotten into the house-managing business. There was a story there, she was sure of it.
“The place looks great,” she said brightly. “Didn’t realize how much I’d missed it until just now. Thank you so much for being willing to get it ready for me on such short notice.”
“Like I said before, not a problem.” His deep voice was resonant, utterly masculine. “I’m glad I was able to do it.”
She’d called him early the day before, the morning after Christmas, to ask him to have the house ready for her arrival in twenty-four hours. He hadn’t given her an ounce of attitude. “Well, I really appreciate it.” She pulled off her parka and set it on one of the three rust-colored couches in the living room. “Today, you’re my knight in shining armor.”
He snorted out a dismissive laugh and stuffed his hands in his coat pockets. “Nah. A woman like you doesn’t need a knight.” But his green eyes sparkled as he smiled.
His pleased smile made her feel like she’d earned a gold star. “Can I get you something to drink?” she asked.
“No, thanks, I’m fine.” He glanced toward the back of the house when the dog barked, then looked back to Tess. “I’m going to my mom’s place for lunch when I leave here, so don’t you worry, I’ll be overfed.”
Remembering, Tess’s smile faded some. “How is your mother doing? Hopefully better?”
His grin faded too. “Uh . . . no, actually. Last rounds of chemo and radiation have made her weaker, but haven’t beaten the cancer. So, well . . .” He shrugged. “It is what it is. But she had a nice Christmas, so that’s something. It’s, uh . . . well. Yeah.”
“I’m so sorry,” Tess murmured. She didn’t know much about Logan’s personal life. He was a private man, and she had never pried for details that weren’t her business. But she remembered their chat last year when she’d made him a travel mug of tea on a particularly cold day, and he’d revealed a few personal details. How he’d grown up about half an hour outside Aspen, and when he’d moved back to start work in his cousin’s house-managing business, his mom had sold his childhood home and bought a condo in Aspen to be closer to him.
He’d told Tess that a few years ago things had changed, and he was also helping her—she was a widow battling breast cancer on her own. After a double mastectomy, she’d gone into remission for a year or so, but apparently . . . damn.
Tess sighed and said gently, “I hate to hear that. I really do wish her well. If there’s ever anything I can do, for you or for her, please ask.”
His pale eyes fixed on her, rounded a bit. “That’s very kind of you. Thank you.”
Bubbles barked and came running in, sliding a bit on the polished floor. Tess crouched down to scoop her up into her arms. “Silly girl, you’re going to slide right into a wall if you don’t slow down!”
Logan chuckled. “I put the poinsettias high so she couldn’t eat them,” he said, his voice stronger now, not husky as it’d been a minute before. “I know they’re not poisonous to dogs—that’s a myth—but it can make ’em sick if they eat ’em. So I just figured better safe than sorry.”
“You did that?” Tess glanced at him in surprise, then her eyes darted around to the bright red plants, then back to him. “How thoughtful of you. Thank you! The color is so fabulous. Red’s my favorite color, you know.”
“I didn’t know that.” He eyed the parka she’d removed. “But come to think of it, I guess you do wear a lot of it.”
“Yes, I do. Because I love it.” She grinned and walked across the living room to the glass wall. One of her favorite features of the house, the entire back wall was made of glass, from the foundation to the roof. The views it afforded of the mountains and the landscape beyond were absolutely breathtaking. Pristine snow covered the peaks, both close and in the distance, and the clear blue sky seemed endless. “Have to hit that mountain soon,” she said. “I haven’t been skiing in a long time; I’m likely rusty.”
“If you want me to set up a time on the mountain for you,” Logan volunteered, “I can do that.”
She turned back to him with a smile, stroking her dog’s soft fur as she walked back to him. “Oh, I can do that, but thanks. I don’t know when I’ll go just yet.” She paused. “Is the Lotus Yoga Center on Blake Street still open?”
“Oh sure. Business is booming, actually—they expanded the studio over the summer. Added another three rooms.” Logan ran a hand over his dark blond beard, an absentminded gesture that made something in Tess’s belly ping low. His beard looked like it was soft. She was suddenly seized with an urge to touch it and find out. “Their spa expanded too. My cousin Rick’s wife, Sami-Jo, is the manager now. Anytime you wanna set something up, ask for her. Tell her I sent you.”
“I will. Good to have connections in town,” Tess said with a conspiratorial air.
“Ah, I just know folks, that’s all.” He reached out to pet Bubbles’s head, then said, “You have any questions, need anything, don’t hesitate to call me, okay?”
“Thank you, Logan. I absolutely will.” She grinned as Bubbles licked his hand.
“I’ll be by the day after tomorrow to take out the trash for you, restock the wood if you need, the usual.” He zipped up his jacket all the way. “So, uh . . . staying by yourself for two or so months, huh? Charles and Dane, not coming at all?”
“I needed some time to myself,” she said, lowering Bubbles to the floor again. When she straightened, she looked him in the eye as she said, “I’ve got some things I need to do. On my own. But . . . I’ll admit, I feel better knowing you’re around. Someone to call if I need to.”
“Of course you can,” he said. “For anything, anytime. Promise me.”
She nodded and said, “I promise.”
He glanced around the living room, a distracted sweep of his eyes. “I don’t mean to sound like this’ll sound,” he said with a bit of hesitation. “But knowing you’re up here by yourself... I’ll be checking on you sometimes. Just to make sure you’re all right.” His eyes glittered with a hint of protectiveness. “If that’s okay with you, of course. I don’t mean to insinuate you’re not a grown woman who can take care of herself. I’m just . . .” He ran a hand through his golden hair, tousling it. It was long enough that the ends settled past his square jawline. “You’re up here by yourself... I’m kind of old-fashioned that way.”
Her stomach did a slow flip, surprising her. “Your mother raised you right,” Tess said softly. “There aren’t many gentlemen left in the world these days. It’s okay with me to be checked on occasionally.” She smiled and added, “Thank you in advance.”
His chin bobbed in something like a tiny bow, and the chivalrous gesture made her stomach wobble again. “All right then. Good. Well, I’d better get going.” He looked at her for a moment longer, then headed for the door. “Your SUV’s in the garage. I took it out yesterday for a quick spin to gas it up; it’s running fine.”
“Oh. I hadn’t even thought of it. Thank you for doing that.”
“Of course.” He turned to look at her as he opened the heavy front door. “Hope you enjoy your stay.”
“I will.” She followed him, holding the doorknob as she looked up into his handsome face. “Thanks again, for everything. Have a great rest of your day.”
“Thanks. You too.” He flashed her one last grin, then stepped outside.
She watched his long, strong legs carry him as he strode to his truck, a silver Ford F-150 with a long flatbed. The truck, like its owner, was big and powerfully built. She closed the door and turned back to look at the wide, high-ceilinged rooms, the burnished wood and glass, the rusts, tans, browns, and olive of the décor . . . and let out a long exhale of contentment. She’d done it. She was far from home, on her own, free to do what she wanted.
And what she wanted was to make herself a temple to peace and serenity. So her body would get ready to become pregnant, and then hopefully conceive without too many attempts once she picked a sperm donor. She’d already started her research on the plane, and narrowed the clinics down to a top-notch facility, just outside Aspen city limits. She intended to interview the staff there right after the new year.
This trip would be her personal retreat. Without being watched over by her family or friends, free to have wobbly days if they happened, free to do whatever she liked before committing herself one hundred percent to life as a single mother.
A feeling of calm washed over her as she sank down onto one of the plush rust-colored sofas. She stared out at the magnificent view of the mountains and the spread of forest before them. She’d done the right thing, coming here. Something told her it was going to be exactly what she needed to venture into this new part of her life.
* * *
By the end of her second day, Tess felt more settled. She’d gone grocery shopping; stopped into the yoga center to sign up for classes twice a week and a one-on-one session every Wednesday; stocked up on paints, brushes, and two new canvasses; and taken a morning hike along the winding path up the mountain. While in town, she’d run into a few acquaintances who were also in Aspen for the holidays, which was a pleasant surprise. She’d even made a lunch date with Allie Connors, an old friend from grad school who’d married well, had three kids, and had a house on Red Mountain not far from hers. Allie had always been able to get Tess to open up and enjoy herself; she’d be good company for the few weeks she’d be around.
Initially, Tess had thought she’d live like a monk while in Aspen, but seeing Allie had excited her. She was a social butterfly, she couldn’t deny it. Seeing people here and there would be better for her than living in complete isolation.
Tess took her tall glass of ice water into the living room and sank down onto the longest couch, opposite the fireplace. A yawn escaped her as Bubbles hopped up to snuggle her, and Tess checked the clock on her cell phone. Just past four, it seemed like an ideal time to catch a catnap. She stretched out on the soft cushions, propped a throw pillow behind her head, cradled Bubbles, and let her eyes slip closed.
Her phone rang, and she groaned. She had personal ringtones for all the men of her family: Frank Sinatra’s “My Way” for Pierce, Justin Timberlake’s “Can’t Stop the Feeling” for Dane, David Bowie’s “Heroes” for Charles, and Coldplay’s “Viva la Vida” for her father. Now, as Bowie sang at her for the fourth time in two days, she knew she couldn’t put her eldest brother off anymore and answered the call. “Hello there.”
“About time you answered,” Charles half growled. “You let me go to voice mail one more time, and I was getting on a plane tomorrow to make sure you were okay.”
“God, you’re a bear,” she teased. “I’m fine. I just want some alone time.”
“You’re not fine,” he asserted. “You took off. You’re not answering calls, not mine, or Dane’s, or Pierce’s. Why won’t you tell any of us what’s going on?” He paused. “I’m really worried about you. I care. I’m not trying to be a jerk, I’m just concerned. Don’t you get that?”
“I do. I’m sorry.” She sighed and shifted her position, rolling onto her back so she could gaze out the glass wall while they spoke. Pine trees parted just enough to reveal the majestic mountaintops beyond. She knew this would be a long talk, and opted to enjoy the view during it. “I didn’t mean to worry anyone, and didn’t think I would. You’re all overreacting a little. I just . . . got a little selfish for the first time in a long time. Wanted to do something for myself, by myself. I’m sorry you’re concerned, and I assure you there’s no reason to be.”
“Two months, Tess?” Charles’s voice had softened some, but still held firm. “You want to be away from everyone—your family, your huge circle of friends, your career—for two whole months, maybe more. Yes, we’re all concerned. And you’re still not really telling anyone why. Why is that?”
“Because my life is my own,” she said, an edge to her voice she hadn’t counted on. “You all have your wives, someone to answer to. I don’t have to answer to anyone.”
He paused, and Tess could almost hear the gears clicking in his head. Charles was an incredibly smart, shrewd man who was renowned for how he could read people. She waited to hear what he’d come up with. “Tess . . . you’re not sick, are you?”
“What?” she sputtered. That wasn’t what she’d thought he’d say. “No!”
“You sure you’re all right?”
“Yes. I swear. In fact, I’m in the best physical health I’ve been in for a long time.”
“Okay . . .”
She sighed again. She wasn’t being fair. If it was the other way around, and one of her brothers had done what she had, she’d be going out of her mind, wondering why and worrying. “Charles . . . there’s no big mystery. I’m not sick and hiding it. I just wanted some time for myself. A drastic change of scene. Something of a retreat. It’s not about anyone but me.”
He grunted, signifying he appreciated that, but it wasn’t enough.
So she added, “I’m painting, of course, and I’ll be working from here, so no, I haven’t abandoned my career. I’m also taking yoga classes, I’ll see some friends who are in town . . . I promise I’m still getting out and doing things. I just need to do this right now.” She wasn’t sure why she didn’t want to tell him she was planning to get pregnant soon, but she knew it was the right call. “I swear there’s nothing to worry about. You all are just so used to having me around in the background, you’re aware of my absence now.”
“That’s . . . Jesus, Tess. That’s how you think we all think of you? As merely some background support to lean on when it suits one of us?” Charles spat a curse under his breath. “I can’t believe you could even say that. Don’t you know what you mean to us?”
Tess smiled gently. “Yes, Charles, I do. But—”
“But nothing. You’re not some Greek chorus for the Harrison brothers, dammit.”
“Aren’t I, though?” she said. Only as she said it did she realize how true it was. Maybe that was why she didn’t want to reveal her dreams just yet. The bit of resentment on her part astounded her. She’d never thought that consciously, but it had flown out of her mouth. And now that Charles had said it . . . “In a way, I have been. And now you’re all fine, and you don’t need me around like you did before, and it’s time for me to do something for myself. You’re all busy, you’ll barely miss me.”
“We all love you, Tess,” Charles said. “We’ll always need you. You’re our only sister, and our trusted friend. Sure, we’ve grown to count on you, because the four of us are a team. But we adore you. Hell, Dane named his hotel after you, for Pete’s sake. You’re our best girl. Always will be.”
Tess didn’t say anything, but something in her warmed at his words.
Charles continued, “No one’s begrudging you having something for yourself. We’re just concerned because it’s unusual behavior for you, and I know there’s something behind it. Something specific is driving this and you’re not telling me. I’d bet that ski house on it.”
She bit down on her lip. He knew her too well. “I’m fine. I promise you that.”
“Nice deflection. It only confirms my suspicions, Tess,” he said. “But I’ll respect your privacy for now.” He grunted softly in frustration. She could hear him shuffling papers, likely at his desk. “I don’t know what’s going on now any more than when you picked up the phone, and that bothers the hell out of me. But I hope you know—I thought you did—that I’m here for you always, when you’re ready to tell me whatever’s going on. I am, Dane and Pierce are, even Lisette, Julia, and Abby would be. We all love you.”
“I hear you,” Tess said. “And I love you all too. Now stop worrying about me.”
“Well, now that you’re at least answering your calls, I feel a drop better,” Charles said. “But only a drop.”
“You’ll be fine,” Tess assured him. “How are the kids, big ones and baby one?”
“Everyone’s fine. But I think Charlotte misses her favorite aunt.”
“Aww, my little bean. I miss her too.” Tess heard the slam of a heavy door outside, likely a truck, and realized it was probably Logan. Her heart gave a strange tiny flutter at the thought of him. “Look, I have to go. Logan Carter just got here.”
“Ah, Logan. Good to know he’s around. Tell him hello for me.” Charles paused. “You sure you’re all right?”
“Stop mothering me!” Tess said with a laugh. “That’s my job, being the mother hen of the family.”
“Well, with you leaving town,” Charles said, “guess I’ll have to pick up that title for a while. I am the oldest.”
“Go for it. If you want to wear the tiara, it’s somewhere in my basement.” Tess sat up just as the doorbell rang. “Talk to you soon, sweetie. Gotta run.”
“Yes, we will talk again soon,” Charles said. “Take care.”
“I will. You too.” She set down the phone beside her water glass on the coffee table, then went to answer the door.
“Hey, Tess,” Logan said with a twitch of a grin. “Just wanted to let you know I’m here, so when you hear noises out back you won’t worry.”
“Hi yourself. Okay.” She did a quick once-over. The ends of his thick blond hair peeked out from beneath a navy wool cap, brushing just past his strong chin, and he wore his usual work attire of hoodie under his royal-blue jacket, jeans, and work boots. His ruddy cheeks and gloves on his hands were the only things that hinted he might be cold, though it hadn’t even reached thirty degrees that day. “Long day at work?”
“Same as usual,” he said. “No big shakes. How are you? You settling in okay?”
“Yes, I am, thanks.” She swept her hair back from her face. “Can I get you a drink? Some water, or hot tea?”
“No, thanks, I have water in the truck,” he said. “Just gonna take out the trash, then check your wood supply.”
“I haven’t lit a fire yet,” she said. “I’ve been out as much as in. Maybe tonight. But hey, I went by the yoga center. You were right, what a difference! It’s so much bigger!”
He nodded, his breath forming as white puffs against the cold air.
“I saw Sami-Jo, she was glad you sent me,” Tess continued.
At that, he grinned. “Cool. She’s a sweet lady.”
“She really is.” Tess leaned her hip against the door frame. “I’m going to have a one-on-one with a trainer, Susan, who’ll come up here to the house for that, and I’ll go there to take classes twice a week with Carrie. Do you know either of them? You seem to be like the town mayor.”
For a split second, she caught a strange look in his light green eyes . . . like he’d been caught at something, maybe? But he merely said, “Yeah, I know Carrie. Susan’s new, I guess. Good luck with all that.”
Something about that quick, odd look intrigued Tess, and she wanted to keep him talking. “Thanks. I take yoga classes at home, but I’m upping it here with the extra personal session. I feel so good after I’ve done it. You ever done any yoga?”
“Me?” He laughed, making the creases by his eyes crinkle appealingly. “Hell no. But I hear people who do it love it.”
“I guess you get enough of a workout just doing your job day to day,” Tess said.
“Some days I do.” He adjusted his hat a little, pushing strands of his long blond hair away from his eyes. “I still hit the gym a few times a week for weights and some cardio. Yoga, that’s just not my thing. But kudos to you for doing it. Any physical activity is good.”
“Agreed.” She had a fleeting vision of him lifting weights in the gym, his biceps straining and sweat dripping down his neck . . . It was a delicious thought. “I want to hit the slopes next week, but I also love long walks. In fact, I went hiking myself this morning before I went into town. I’ll do that two or three times a week, I think.”
“Wait, you went up the mountain? By yourself?”
“Yessss,” she said. She stepped back and held out her arms to give him a full view of her. “And as you can see, I made it back just fine. This city girl can take care of herself.”
“Well. We’ve covered that before.” He scrubbed a hand over his face and something in his eyes shuttered. The change in his demeanor surprised her. He’d gone from teasing to something dark so quickly. It made the joking smile slide off her face.
He cleared his throat and said, “I’d better get to work. Just wanted to get it done before sunset, and I’ve got about”—he glanced up at the sky, shades of deep blue with hints of pink in the wispy clouds—“maybe half an hour of decent light left.”
She simply nodded. “I won’t keep you, then. Thank you, Logan.”
“Yup. Glad to hear you’re settling in fine. Talk to you soon.” He turned away and went down the steps. “Have a good night,” he called over his shoulder before heading around the side of the house.
“You too,” she called back before closing the door. He used to be friendlier to her, and it ate at her . . . She wished she knew if she’d said or done something to offend him.
Bubbles came scampering to her, yipping and wagging her tail. Tess crouched to pet her and cooed, “Are you hungry, little miss? Do I need to feed you now?”
Bubbles barked and wiggled in response.
“Okay, Bubs. C’mon, let’s feed you.” Tess walked through to the kitchen, her mind preoccupied with thoughts about the ruggedly gorgeous blond man out in her backyard. The more she learned about him, it seemed, the more there was to learn. She was definitely intrigued enough to find out. He interested her, it was that simple. Logan Carter was more complicated and layered than he seemed. She’d seen flashes of gruff or guarded moments, enough to suspect that his easygoing, self-assured outside was hiding something darker and more compelling inside. Somehow, over her time there, maybe she could get him to tell her his story.

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