Between You and Me by Jennifer Gracen (18)

Chapter Seventeen

Tess rolled up her yoga mat slowly, frowning. The class hadn’t helped; she still felt a little crampy. Deep in her heart, she knew she wasn’t pregnant, that her period was coming. Dammit.

“Hey, Tess. You okay?”

She looked up, blinking. It was Carrie, the yoga instructor. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You just don’t seem like yourself today. You’re always smiling . . . today, not so much.” Carrie’s pale blue eyes peered harder. “You sure you’re all right?”

Tess nodded and edged closer. “Just getting my period. So I’m a little off. That’s all.”

“Ahh. Say no more. I hate those days.” Carrie gave her arm a little squeeze. “Feel better. See you next time.”

“You bet.” Tess took her things and left the room. Ten minutes later, she was sitting in her SUV. Snow had started to lightly fall; the flakes floated in the air, drifting like tiny bits of icy magic. She stared at the beauty outside her windshield . . . and a harder cramp hit, making her suck in her breath. Her eyes filled with tears. She sniffed them back willfully and started the engine, wanting to get home before the snow got heavier.

When she got home, she took a quick shower, then got into her favorite fleece pajamas, the red ones with the baby penguins. She pulled back the curtains so she could watch the snow fall outside the wide windows, then turned on the gas fireplace. It was one o’clock, when she usually ate lunch, but she wasn’t hungry. She got into her bed, curled up under the blankets, and let herself have a little pity party.

Very few women got pregnant with the first attempt. She and Logan had only had sex three times last week, then she’d let it go, knowing it was too late in her cycle. The odds had been slim and she knew it. In her head, she knew all of that. But her heart . . . the disappointment welled inside her, merciless. Tears slipped free and rolled down her cheeks. She swiped them away and burrowed deeper beneath the covers.

Her cell phone buzzed with a text. Logan. How goes it, Long Island Lady? I texted this morning and you didn’t answer . . . ?

She sighed. He’d texted a few minutes before she’d gone into her yoga class, so she hadn’t been able to respond then. But she hadn’t responded after it, and she could have. What should she say? Hi, I’m here, in a fetal position, crampy as hell and feeling sorry for myself? No. He was her friend, not her boyfriend. She couldn’t lean on him like that, even though he’d told her she could. Yes, they texted or talked daily, and had spent time together over the last few weeks. But it felt like whining for her to tell him the truth. So she didn’t answer the text. She pushed the phone away, closed her eyes, and decided on a nap instead. Exhaustion overcame her fast and hard, and she gladly let it drag her under.

* * *

Bubbles was licking her face. As Tess opened her eyes, she was foggy and disoriented. The light outside had changed; the sky was a darker gray and the snow was still falling. She reached for her phone to check the time and her eyes widened. She’d been asleep for almost two hours. She had texts and emails waiting, the many icons across the top letting her know people were looking for her. And she could feel it . . . She’d gotten her period. With a sigh, she got out of bed and went to the bathroom. After that, she took Bubbles out for a quick potty break and filled her bowls with fresh water and food. She made herself a quick cup of chai spice tea, grabbed a bag of white cheddar popcorn, and went back to bed.

When she was settled under the covers again, she checked her voice mails first. There were two messages: one from Logan, one from Dane.

“Hey, Tess.” Logan’s deep, sexy voice in her ear sent a shiver over her skin. “Not like you to not answer texts. Hope you’re okay? Let me know. Call me, text me, something. I’ll come and check on you by dinner if I don’t hear from you. Bye.”

She couldn’t help but smile. He was sweet to be concerned. And yes, she hadn’t answered for just a few hours, but she couldn’t accuse him of being overbearing. He was right, she always answered right away. If it were the other way around, she might be concerned too. She’d text him back after listening to the second voice mail.

“Tesstastic! How are ya, girl?” Dane’s jovial voice boomed over the line. “It’s me. Julia and I got back from Cancun yesterday, we’re home. New York is fucking cold and gray and I’m ready to leave again. Going back to work sucks. And you’re not around, and that sucks too. I miss you. Call me, let’s catch up. When are you coming home? Hope all is well. Love you.”

She smiled, feeling his warmth. Her brothers adored her, and she adored them. She was very lucky to have such close siblings, and friends. Why was she still keeping her plans from them? She wasn’t sure. She’d have to think about that some more.

Burrowing into her pillows, she texted Logan. Hi, I’m sorry I worried you. I’m alive.

His text came back almost immediately. There you are. Hi. Glad you answered, I was starting to worry. Just wasn’t like you.

I know, sorry. Not feeling great today, she wrote. Had yoga, fell asleep after, took an unplanned two hour nap. And got my period. So . . . yeah. That.

His kind words made tears spring to her eyes. Stupid hormones. Thanks, she wrote. I know. I’m fine.

He didn’t answer right away. Then his text came in: Thought you weren’t drinking these days?

She winced. I was joking, she wrote back. No worries.

She blinked back the tears. A little. But I’m okay. She sniffled, astounded at how well he knew her already. Are you at work?

She put the phone down and shoved her hand into the popcorn bag. As she ate and misery welled, she decided popcorn alone wasn’t going to cut it. Ordering dinner in was required tonight. Something delicious, with a decadent, chocolatey dessert.

* * *

The doorbell rang at seven thirty, startling Tess. She was curled up on the couch with her e-reader. After self-medicating with lobster bisque and pasta primavera with shrimp, then a slice of chocolate mousse pie, she’d fallen into a food coma, content to read on the couch all night and ignore the world. Now she slipped her feet into her slippers and went to answer the door.

Logan stood before her, snow falling around him, looking ruggedly handsome. Her heart soared a tiny bit. “Hi,” he said.

“Hi,” she said with surprise. “What are you doing here?”

“You just didn’t sound right, even in texts.” He lifted his hand, holding a white bag. “I brought cookies. With chocolate in them. Thought maybe you needed some.”

Her eyes welled with tears. “You’re so sweet,” she whispered. “Come on in.”

He did, closed the door behind him, and brushed the snow from his coat. Then, with his free hand, he tipped up her chin to study her face. Without a word, he pulled her into his chest and hugged her.

She broke down, sobbing into him. He dropped the bag lightly to the floor to wrap both arms around her. The feel of his solid embrace made her go molten. “I knew it wouldn’t happen right away,” she mumbled between sobs. “I knew we started after I’d ovulated, and we only did it a few times, so I knew the chances were small. Why am I so damn disappointed?”

“Hope’s funny that way.” He rubbed her back, caressed her hair. “Shhh. It’s okay. You’re allowed to be disappointed.”

She cried, so grateful for his understanding and tenderness it flooded her completely. Clinging to him like a lifeline in a storm, she cried. And he held her close.

“So you were staying for February anyway,” he said. “And March too, if need be. And maybe even April. We’ll have sex every night if you want. You’ll have your baby, Tess. It just might take time. The doctor told us that.” His large hands gently ran up and down her back. “It’ll happen. I’m not going anywhere. Okay?”

She looked up at him, floored by his words. “You’ll really do that? Keep at this for months, if need be?”

“Like sleeping with you is such a hardship,” he said warmly. He quirked a grin, making her return it. “As long as it takes. I made you a promise. I keep my promises.” He wiped her tears from her cheeks.

She stared up at him. The gentleness of his touch never ceased to amaze her. That such big, powerful hands were capable of such tenderness . . .

He searched her face. “You okay now?”

“I’m a hot mess today,” she grumbled. “The hormones own me. I’ll be back to normal tomorrow.”

“Okay.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead, then leaned down to pick up the cookies. “Well, look. These are damn good cookies. From Pistelli’s bakery, you know them?”

She nodded. “Best pastries in Aspen, some say.”

“Those ‘some’ are right. So you don’t wanna waste ’em.” He grinned softly, making the corners of his eyes crinkle, appealing as hell to her. “Why don’t you make some tea, and we can just hang out and watch a movie or something. Or, if you’d rather just be alone, that’s fine. Don’t be shy, tell me to go, I’ll leave if you want. I just wanted to check on you and bring these by.”

She sniffed hard and swept her hair back from her face. He was such a good man. A good friend. Affection welled inside her. “Please stay. Cookies, tea, and a movie sound wonderful, actually. I’d like that.”

“Cool.” He smiled and unzipped his coat. “What movie do you want to watch?”

* * *

Logan went through the next few weeks feeling lighter. It was the only word he could think of to describe it. Work was fine, his mother was happy for him, and his evenings were either spent at the gym or with Tess. For a fake girlfriend, it was the best relationship he’d ever enjoyed. The lack of pressure was ideal. He’d tried to do that with other women, but it hadn’t worked. With Tess . . . everything worked. It was so easy, felt so natural. Knowing there were no expectations, and none down the road, enabled him to be himself. He hadn’t let himself do that with anyone since Rachel. He’d made a connection with Tess that was real, and the truth was, it felt really good. He could admit that to himself.

January turned into February. They went skiing three times, since Tess wanted to get her time in on the slopes before the next cycle. Once they started again, she didn’t want to go skiing, possibly jostle anything, and he understood. He loved skiing with her, it was always a rush. Some nights, they went out. To dinner, or to Ford’s Coffee House. It amused Logan that Ford was a little jealous of his new “girlfriend”; Logan knew that, given the opportunity, Ford would’ve pursued her himself.

Some nights, they stayed in. They had dinners with his mother, or watched movies together at Tess’s place. He hated to admit that Annmarie was getting weaker; he saw it little by little. But his fake relationship made her happy. She wasn’t just happy for him, she really liked Tess. And Tess was great with her, always bringing flowers or pastries when she visited, being attentive and sweet when they talked. Her kindness toward his mother made his genuine affection for her grow. He adored her. She was a great friend, and held up her end of their bargain beautifully. He couldn’t ask for more.

By early February, among his small social circles and her larger ones in Aspen, he and Tess were thought of as a couple. And Logan was oddly proud of that association. If he had to be thought of as tied to someone, who in the world was better than her? She was an incredible woman. He found himself thinking of her often . . . okay, almost all the time.

Their friendship had put a spark back into his quiet life. He loved their chats, the playful banter and texts that made him smile. And their chemistry was so compelling, that the time they spent together almost always ended up in hot and heavy make-out sessions. Yes, they were just friends, but they couldn’t seem to keep their hands off each other. But always, they had to stop before it got too intense. She’d explained that the dry weeks meant no action for him. The longer he went without sex, the better his sperm count would be when they started up again. It made him ache, but he understood and was fine with it. They had an agenda to stick to, and the rules made it easier to stay clearheaded.

Then it was the second week of February, and back to Game On for the Dream Team. When day ten of her cycle arrived, he woke up hard, ready to go. He’d missed her body. Now that he knew what to look forward to, he couldn’t wait to get back to it.

That afternoon and evening, however, he had a job to finish at the McLellan property, goddammit. The timing sucked. All day, as he worked on fixing the damaged portion of the outside wall of their house, all he could think of was getting in bed with Tess. Knowing they could go at it again, knowing he didn’t have to go home and take another cold shower, knowing she was waiting for him . . . it was torture. Finally, at six o’clock, he texted her he’d be on his way over, he just was going home to take a quick shower.

Don’t bother going home, she texted back. Come shower here. I’d love to watch . . .

Holy shit. His cock throbbed in his jeans. The hell with getting dinner first, he’d eat a protein bar he had stashed in his truck. He texted back immediately: Yes ma’am. Be there in fifteen minutes.

When she opened the door to him, wearing that soft, plush red robe of hers, he immediately wondered what was beneath it. She pulled him into the house and hugged him hello, as she always did, but his whole body roared to life. He took her face in his hands and kissed her, plundering her mouth, pressing her tightly against him.

“Someone’s all fired up,” she murmured when he set her mouth free.

“It’s been a long almost-three weeks,” he said, taking his coat off between kisses. “I’m eager to get to work . . .” He yanked off his wool cap. “Gotta admit, I love this job.”

She laughed and took his hat and coat. “Your shower can’t be too hot. Raising your body temperature isn’t ideal for sperm count or mobility. But a quick lukewarm shower . . . I’d love to watch that. You game?”

“You like to watch, huh?” His voice pitched low as he stared at her. The thought of her eyes on him had his whole body pulsing with desire.

“If it’s you? Yes. Yes, I believe I do.”

They went up to the master bathroom, one of the most magnificent bathrooms he’d seen in all his Red Mountain houses. Skylights above, warm wooden walls, a window that showcased the mountains. There was a huge shower, all chrome and elegance, encased in glass; and a deep tub with jets, which was wide enough for two adults to share, even when the two in question were as tall and big as they were. The bathroom was bigger than his living room, for Christ’s sake. But it was nice and warm.

Sitting in her red robe, Tess perched herself on the edge of the tub to watch, crossing her long, bare legs. Her hair tumbled over her shoulders, down her back, and her bright blue eyes sparkled as they locked on him. “This is going to be delicious,” she purred. “Strip for me.”

“Holy crap.” His brows shot up and a short, shocked laugh flew out of him. “You’re in total voyeur mode.”

“It seems so.” She bit down on her lip, unable to hold back a wicked grin. “Do you mind?”

“Mind? It’s turning me on like crazy.”

“Oh good. I need you turned on.”

“You don’t have to work at it, Tess.” He pulled his white wool sweater over his head, then the T-shirt beneath, and let them drop to the floor. Her eyes traveled over his body, taking in what she saw and apparently liking the view. Hot pink bloomed on her cheeks and chest as she watched him leisurely unbutton and unzip his jeans, as he pushed them off and toed off his heavy socks. His erection raged in his boxer briefs as he kicked the pile of clothes aside.

“My sexy friend,” she said, her voice thick with growing desire, “you are exquisite to look at. Hot damn.”

He grinned, even as lust made his blood roar in his ears and race through his veins. “Could you take these off for me?” he asked, low and deliberate as he stepped closer. He stared down at her as his cock strained against the cotton. “Friends help each other, right?”

“Of course they do,” she murmured playfully. She reached out to slip her fingers into the waistband. Her touch made his heart hammer in his chest. As she pushed down the briefs, his hard cock sprung free. She grasped it and ran her thumb over the head, diluting the drop of pre-come there, making him suck in his breath and groan.

“I’m not going to get through a shower if you touch me like that,” he said, his voice strangled.

She let him go. “Hurry up, then, handsome. I want that inside me.”

He gripped her shoulders and lifted her to her feet, kissing her hard, consuming her mouth, possessing her. She whimpered into his mouth as she kissed him back, arching against him. Then she pulled back and gasped out, “Shower. Go.”

It took all his willpower to turn away from her. He made sure the water was warm, not hot, per her instructions. Through the glass, his eyes met hers. Sure enough, she was watching him. Arousal coursed through him as he soaped up his body, as her intent gaze never left him. Her eyes followed his hands, lingered on his raging erection, hungrily tracking his every movement. He was done in two minutes, unable to believe how wildly turned on he was just from her watching him. Her eyes on him had the same stimulating effect as if she’d actually touched him. He toweled off as quickly as possible, then grabbed her hand and yanked her to her feet.

They kissed passionately, grabbing at each other, groping and panting as they fell to her bed together. He rolled her onto her back, undid her robe and pushed it open, then stopped breathing for a second. She wore red and black lace, a matching bra and panties set. “Jesus Christ,” he whispered, then ran his hands over the lingerie, over her body. “You’re so damn beautiful.” He wanted her so bad, his hands were shaking. “I’m too far gone,” he warned her. “First time’s going to be quick.” He hooked his thumbs into the lace at her narrow hips and dragged the panties down her legs. “Second time will be longer. But I can’t wait, and you don’t need me to, so . . .”

“Do it,” she said, her face flushed and heavy-lidded eyes dark with desire. “Take me quick and hard.”

His mind reeled. Almost frantic, he positioned himself over her and drove into her, slamming hard. They groaned together, limbs intertwining. She was so wet, ready for him. He leaned up on his elbows and pumped hard and fast, no holding back. She held on, meeting him thrust for thrust, both of them lost to mindless animal lust. Panting, clawing at each other, his demanding hips rocked as he possessed her. Her nails dragged down his back, grabbing his ass and pushing him deeper inside . . . He came with a loud groan, his whole body stiffening as he felt himself empty inside her. Eyes squeezed shut, mind gone, the waves of intense sensation crashed over him and dragged him under.

His climax spurred hers on; her legs tightened around his waist as she cried out, holding on, her nails biting into his back. He opened his eyes to look at her, her head thrown back and mouth open as she shattered beneath him, and he crushed his lips to hers to swallow her moans.

Their bodies trembled as they kissed and rode out the aftershocks. They worked to catch their breath. A light sheen of sweat covered their flushed, naked bodies. The kisses slowed, their breathing evened out, and he sank down on top of her.

“Oh my God,” she finally gasped out. Her eyes held his. “That was . . . What the hell was that?”

“The quickest but hottest sex I’ve ever had?” he offered.

“Me too. Holy God . . .” She stared at him in wonder. “I’ve never been so turned on in my life.”

“Same here.” He kissed her, then looked at her lips. “Your mouth’s a little swollen. I got a little rough at the end. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” she said. “I think I left marks of my own, though.”

He grinned down at her. “Fine with me, tigress.”

She snorted at that. “You were horny when you got here.”

“Yes, ma’am. Thought of this all day.”

“Me too,” she admitted. Then she shifted beneath him. “Gotta raise my hips.”

He pulled out and rolled off of her so she could swing her legs up over the headboard. He helped position a pillow under her hips, then kissed her mouth and smoothed her hair back. She was still wearing the bra; in his crazed state, ravaging her desperately, he’d never even gotten that off of her. He reached out to touch the lace. “This is hot as hell.” He ran his fingers over her breasts and she sucked in a breath. “Still sensitive?”

“Yes.”

“Good. We’re going another round tonight. I want more.”

“Fine by me.” She smiled and reached up to play with his beard, the way she often liked to. “Could you please bring me some water?”

They lay side by side in bed for almost half an hour, quiet and relaxed. He loved that they didn’t always have to talk. She wasn’t one of those people who felt the need to fill a silence with chatter; she was comfortable enough in her own skin to not have to do that. It was one of the things he liked most about her, actually. Her being so at ease with herself made it so easy to be with her.

But as always, he couldn’t keep his hands off her for long. He ran his fingers over her soft skin, paying particular attention to her red and black lace-encased breasts. “You’re stunning.”

“Thank you. You like the set?”

“I almost came right when I saw it, almost blew it like a horny teenager.”

“You were really fired up.” She grinned. “I have to watch you shower more often. That was a major turn-on for both of us.”

“My naughty little voyeur,” he murmured, taking her mouth in a sumptuous kiss. “Who knew?”

“I didn’t know!” she said with a laugh, eyes bright. “That was new for me. I just thought about watching you shower . . . and I wanted it.” Her fingers sifted through his hair as she blushed. The light in her eyes made something spark and kindle inside him. “But something about this whole scenario . . . It’s different. It’s kind of been . . . freeing for me. Even in bed. Is that weird? Does that make any sense?”

“It makes total sense. It’s been like that for me too.” He kissed her again, letting himself drown in the feel of her. “I want you again. Ready?”

“Yes.”

It was a slow and leisurely exploration this time. His hands, lips, teeth, and tongue canvassed every gorgeous inch of her, a sweet and sexy discovery, and she reveled in his body the same way. When they were ready, she sat up and nudged him to lie on his back, then straddled his hips. He guided himself inside as she slid down slowly onto his hard shaft, both of them moaning softly at the amazing feel of joining.

She rode him slowly at first, taking her time, clearly reveling in every sensation. He gazed up at her, watching her grind into him, as her long curls tumbled over her shoulders, her breasts, all around her. Her eyes closed, her head fell back, her pelvis ground into him sinuously . . . He felt drugged by passion and her beauty.

They moved together in perfect sync as he drove up into her. He felt himself getting closer; trailing his hand from her breasts down her body, he found her clit and rubbed it with his thumb, making her cry out and grind harder. He picked up the pace, thrusting up into her faster, with more power, until she cried out his name and shuddered. Her orgasm brought on his roaring, mind-bending release as he panted and held on to her hips.

She sank down to collapse onto his chest and he held her close, then rolled her onto her back. Still breathing heavily, her eyes stayed closed as she murmured, “I’m like jelly. I can’t move. Ohhh my God.”

With a satisfied grin, he reached for a pillow and lifted her hips for her, sliding it beneath her in the necessary position. She whispered thanks. He pressed a kiss to her mouth, then flopped down beside her. They lay side by side for a few minutes as their bodies quieted. When he started to almost doze off, he made himself push up onto his elbows. “I better get going, or I’m going to pass out here.”

“You can if you want,” she said. Her eyes half opened to look at him, tired and sated. He felt a spark of pride that he’d made her look that way. She was captivating.

But he said, “I think it’s best that I go home.”

She looked at him for a long beat, then said, “All right,” and let her eyes slide closed again. “Is it okay if I don’t walk you to the door?” she whispered.

“Of course. Go to sleep.” He dropped a kiss on her forehead, then reached to pull the comforter up over her. “I’ll text you tomorrow.”

“Okay . . .”

He watched her for a minute. Her breathing turned slow and deep, and her features relaxed completely. He envied her sleep; he was ready to sleep for a week. He thought about just lying back down and doing that. It was tempting . . . She was tempting . . .

Nope. They weren’t lovers. Lovers stayed the night. Friends with benefits didn’t cuddle or sleep over, no matter how mind-blowing the sex had been or how much they genuinely liked each other’s company. He gazed at her beautiful face for a few seconds longer, then got out of bed and went to get dressed.