Chapter Seven
Logan felt his jaw drop in surprise. Pregnant? He stared and stammered, “Uh . . . okay. Wow. Not what I was expecting you to say.” Then another thought hit. “Wait a minute. You have a boyfriend and you’re out with me tonight? I don’t understand.”
She smiled with obvious bemusement. “I don’t have a boyfriend. I don’t have a man in my life at all, actually, which is why I’m planning to . . . well . . . I’m going to do it on my own. Find a sperm donor, and all that entails. Get it now?”
He couldn’t have been more shocked. She was the most desirable woman he’d ever seen, and getting to know her made her even more so. She was damned likeable, even when he was being an ass. Why would she feel she had to go that route? He was obviously missing something. But all he said was, “Okay.”
“That’s the real reason I came out here by myself for a few months.” Tess seemed relieved to confess all this, so he stayed quiet and let her continue. “I don’t want to start this process at home. My father and brothers . . . They all mean well, but they’re a little . . . overbearing. We’re very close, my brothers and I. I’d even say they’re some of my best friends. But about this . . . Well, they’d all have something to say, and I don’t need that.”
Logan only nodded.
She stretched out one long leg and rolled her ankle as she continued. “This is my decision. They have wives, they have families . . . They’ll start their whole you haven’t given it enough of a chance, yada yada. Like I haven’t given this tons of thought, done my homework. Like I just decided hey! I’ll have a baby just because.”
He noticed her eyes made a slow canvas around the room, not meeting his, as she admitted, “Sure, I wanted to find the right man, fall in love, have a family . . . but that hasn’t happened for me. I’ll be thirty-eight at the end of February. My clock’s ticking, and all I’ve ever wanted is to have children of my own. So . . . here I am, and I’m not going home until I’m pregnant.” She reached over for her mug, almost empty now, but raised it to Logan in a jaunty toast. “You can be my not-drinking buddy this winter.”
He grinned at that, but then shook his head in slow wonder. “Well, I . . . I wish you luck. If that’s what you want to do, I hope it works out for you.”
“Thanks. Just gotta find a healthy sperm sample from someone with great genes, and I’ll be all set.” She seemed jovial about it.
“And you want to do that here?”
“Why not? I own a house here, so I don’t have to stay at a hotel for months. I can work remotely. And there’s a clinic right here, outside Aspen, that’s top-notch.” She leaned in and whispered conspiratorially, “See, something like this is where having money definitely does help.” She tossed him an exaggerated wink, and he burst out laughing.
He reached for his mug and clinked it to hers. “To you and your plans. I wish you success.”
“Thank you very much.”
“So no one knows that’s why you’re really here?”
Her big blue eyes locked on him. “Nope. Just my lifelong best friend at home, and you.”
“I’m honored you shared that, then. And, uh . . . if you need anything, let me know.”
Tess giggled. “Know any sperm donors with super great sperm?”
He almost choked, but turned it into a dry laugh. “Um, no. But if I do, I’ll let you know. I meant if you need anything . . . I don’t know, you know what I meant.”
“I do. And I appreciate it. Thank you.”
They both sipped what was left of their cocoa. His was now empty. “I’ll get us another round of these, if you like.”
“I would, thanks.”
He gazed at her as she sat back comfortably, relaxed and beautiful. The colored lights overhead shadowed her in alluring hues. Her long, long curls drifted over her shoulders, down over her arms. The expression on her face was content, but now he knew the truth: The people’s princess didn’t have everything after all. His heart gave a twinge for her. “For what it’s worth, I bet you’ll make a great mother. Because you’re a really good person.”
She blinked at him. “That’s . . . nice of you to say. Especially since just the other day, I thought you didn’t even like me.”
“I was wrong,” he said quickly, firmly. “I was an asshole. What you called me on, you were right.” I didn’t want to admit to myself how much I like you, so I grabbed on to whatever I could to convince myself otherwise. He rose and grabbed both empty mugs. “And hey, any woman who’d lie down on a hotel lobby floor to comfort a stranger?” He nodded slowly to punctuate his point. “That’s a caring, compassionate person. Deep in your core, something like that shows who you are. That’s what will make you a great mom.”
“I hope so.” Tess’s voice dropped, and she looked away. “I worry sometimes. I didn’t have the best role model in that department.”
He sat again, suddenly curious. “Not close to your mom, huh?”
“Noooooo.”
Logan caught the flash in her big blue eyes: resentment. Interesting.
“You’re close to your mom, though,” Tess said. “And that’s lovely. How was she today? Hope her treatment was okay?”
He saw right through her attempt to change the subject, but damn, he was liking her more and more. He put the mugs back on the small table and sat down. “She’s all right, thanks. Just wiped out, like usual. I cooked her one of her favorite dinners, and we watched about half a movie before she fell asleep. Which is pretty much what she predicted would happen.”
“She’s always right, huh?” Tess guessed with a cheeky grin.
Logan laughed. “She sure thinks she is.”
“That’s sweet that you cooked for her. Are you any good?”
“What, at cooking?” He put a hand on his heart as if affronted. “Of course I am!”
“Well, good. That makes one of us.” She laughed, but said earnestly, “You’re clearly a devoted son. Your mom is lucky to have you.”
“Well, I’m all she’s got.” Logan briefly explained about how his father had died years ago and his brother lived his own life in the Northwest. “So, the way I see it, she and I are lucky to have each other. Just wish she’d get off my back about getting married.”
Tess gave him a look. “What?”
“Ah, hell. She means well. She just . . . She wants me to settle down. I tried that once, and it was a disaster. I’m not cut out for relationships, much less married life.” He sat back. “I do better on my own. But she doesn’t get that. I, uh . . .” He sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face and beard as he admitted, “I know she doesn’t want me to be alone after she passes, so she worries. It’s that simple. So I get it, but jeeeez, I wish she’d lay off.”
Tess chuckled.
“That’s funny to you?” he asked, unable to hold back his own budding grin.
“That last part? Yeah, a little,” she admitted. She sat up a bit straighter to gesture over him with her hands. “Look at you! You’re this tremendous, powerful guy. Strong, capable . . . and your mom’s giving you a hard time about dating? That’s kind of funny.”
“Yeah, if you’re not the one who has to hear about it all the time,” Logan grumbled, but his smile gave him away. “Sounds fucking pathetic, doesn’t it.”
They laughed together, and Tess set her hand on his forearm. “You know what? I wish my mother gave enough of a crap about me to worry about if I’d end up alone, or if I was okay, or if I was happy. I haven’t seen her in over a year. Before that, I hadn’t seen her in two years, and who knows when I will again. She’s too busy jet-setting around Europe to bother with her children or grandchildren. So your mom may be a little overbearing, but she sounds wonderful to me.”
“She is,” he said. He looked deeper into Tess’s eyes. “I’m sorry your mom sounds like a real . . . piece of work.”
“No worries. I’m used to it.” Tess’s gaze softened, turned sad. “I’m sorry your mom is so sick. So deeply sorry.”
His throat tightened, and he swallowed hard. “Thank you. Me too.”
They stared into each other’s eyes, connecting silently. She reached over to give his hand a squeeze, and when she did, something like an electric current shot right up his arm.
Damn, he wanted to draw her in, hold her close. He didn’t, though. That would blow their “no pressure, non-date” sky-high. He’d promised her a friendly evening, and he was a man of his word.
“Half an hour to midnight!” someone shouted, and people in the place cheered.
“Night’s flying by,” she murmured, still staring at him even as she withdrew her hand.
“I know.” He cleared his throat and scrubbed his hands over his face, as if to wake up from whatever spell she’d just put him under. It’d be all too easy to drown in the depths of her marine-blue eyes. But something . . . something had just passed between them. Had she felt it too? “I have to tell you, I’m enjoying this. I’m glad I asked you out, and I’m glad we’re here. Thanks for saying yes.”
“Thanks for asking me. This is nice.” She nestled back against the cushions. Her red V-neck top shifted, molding itself tighter to her narrow frame, and he tried not to stare. He bet her small breasts would fit perfectly in his hands, and in his greedy, wanting mouth. Shit. He averted his gaze, looking around the room, trying to clear the sizzling images of her naked body from his mind. “Better get those hot cocoas.” He got to his feet.
* * *
At a quarter to midnight, Logan and Tess were talking about classic movies when a tall, dark-haired man came over. With an easy smile, he sat himself down on the wooden coffee table beside their mugs of cocoa. “What, you don’t say hello? Some friend you are.”
“I didn’t think you were here!” Logan cried, and gave the man a quick clap of a hug. “Jesus, have you been here the whole night?”
“Actually, no. Bustin’ your chops. I was out to dinner, just got here a few minutes ago.” The attractive man turned his dark, assessing gaze to Tess. “Hello there.”
“Tess,” Logan said, “this is my friend Ford Rafferty. He owns the place. Ford, this is Tess Harrison.”
“Pleasure to meet you,” she said, shaking Ford’s hand.
“The pleasure is mine.” Ford’s warm brown eyes drank her in. “Now I know why a hermit like Thor here would go out on New Year’s Eve.”
“Thor?” Tess asked on a laugh.
“He calls me that because he’s a jackass,” Logan said dryly.
“I call him that because duh, look at him,” Ford shot back. “If his hair was a little longer, he’d look just like Thor. God knows he’s as big as him.”
“Bigger,” Logan joked. “And his eyes are blue. Mine aren’t.”
“You’re just nitpicking now,” Ford said, and turned his teasing grin Tess’s way. “I got him the hammer for Halloween, but he wasn’t amused. I thought it was perfect.”
She grinned back and said, “Have to admit, Logan . . . you do look a lot like Hemsworth. I’d have loved to see you with that hammer. The nickname fits.”
“Not you too,” Logan groaned.
“This woman is not only beautiful, but smart!” Ford proclaimed.
Logan rolled his eyes.
“I like this place,” Tess said to Ford. “You’ve got a good thing going on here.”
“Thanks!” His smile widened. “Glad you like it. Where are you from, Tess?”
Logan watched Ford and Tess chat. Ford was always so at ease, smooth, a natural flirt and charmer. He bet if he gave them a few minutes alone, Ford would be asking Tess out himself. And that . . . gave Logan a bit of a burn inside. Something territorial, something like jealousy. Which was ridiculous; Tess wasn’t his. She wasn’t anything but a friendly acquaintance.
A friendly acquaintance looking for a healthy sperm donor . . . Maybe he should encourage her and Ford to hook up. God knew Ford would never settle down with one woman, so maybe it would be a good arrangement for both of them. But the thought of it agitated him. What the hell was that about?
Ford rose to his feet. “Gotta get to work. I’m sending champagne around the room in a minute, on the house for everyone . . . sparkling cider over here?” His gaze flicked to his friend.
“Thanks,” Logan said.
“That’d be perfect,” Tess agreed. “Thank you.” Her smile was radiant. The strings of lights sparkled around her, making her seem, for a moment, like an angel.
Logan was suddenly overwhelmed by an urge to kiss her. Hard, long, and deep.
“It was a serious pleasure meeting you, Tess. You’ll have to come back.” Ford reached for her hand to shake it again and held it just a few seconds too long.
“Lovely to meet you too,” she said, not seeming to notice the subtle, prolonged contact. “Happy New Year, if we don’t see you on the way out,” she added. “I know what it’s like when you’re the host, how busy it gets.”
“Yeah, I better get back to it.” He turned to Logan, who stood up. They clasped each other in a quick hug. “She’s fucking stunning,” Ford murmured. “Jesus Christ.”
“Yup.” Logan pulled back and said, “Happy New Year, brother.”
“Same! Great to see you. We’ll talk soon.” Ford started to move away as he said, “Send my best to Annmarie, okay?”
“Will do.”
Logan took his seat again as Tess asked, “Annmarie is your mom?”
“Yeah.”
“He’s known her a long time, then,” Tess remarked.
“Yeah. He’s a good guy,” Logan said.
“He seems it. Charming, too.”
“He is that.” Logan slanted her a sideways glance. “You, uh . . . have any interest? Because he was practically tripping over himself over you.”
“He was not.”
“Hell yes, he was.”
She cocked her head and stared at him. “Are you trying to set me up with him?”
“Uh . . . do you want me to?” Logan asked, even as a surge of jealous heat threatened to choke him.
“No, thank you. I can get dates on my own.” Amused, she arched a thin brow at him, that regal look again. “Besides, I’m not looking to date right now. I have bigger plans, remember? I need to be alone, it’s better that way. The last thing I need as I’m trying to find a sperm donor and become pregnant is someone to mess up my focus. Dating will have to come later . . . if at all. Once I’m a single mother, that’ll change things too.” She sighed. “Too much information?”
“Nope. I understand, it makes sense,” Logan said. Relief unraveled the knot in his chest. “I just thought Ford is healthy, single . . .”
“I’ll find my own sperm donor, thanks,” she said on a bemused chuckle.
Heat rose in his face. “Yeah, I’ll leave that to you. Sorry.”
“Not at all. It was kind of sweet for you to think of that.” Her eyes left his to flutter up to the girl who’d appeared before them.
“Ford asked me to bring these to you,” she said, handing them two plain glass flutes filled with fizzing pale gold liquid.
“Thank him for us,” Logan said as he took them. He handed one to Tess as the music overhead changed to an upbeat romp. Someone gave a hearty whoop and a holler, and the energy in the whole place went up a few notches. Logan checked his watch. “Five minutes to go.”
Tess smiled in response and sat up, looking around the coffeehouse to take in the scene. Logan watched her, entranced. So beautiful. Probably the most beautiful woman in the whole damn room. He was glad to be there with her. He was glad he’d gone out at all, and that it had gone well.
“So,” she said, turning back to him. She held her glass in one hand between long, manicured fingers. “Make a wish for the new year, and we’ll compare notes next year and see if it came true.”
“You first,” he said, taken by the light in her eyes.
“Besides the obvious, I want to have a baby? Um . . .” She considered for a few moments, the sounds of the other patrons and music swirling around them. “I hope to have an unexpected adventure. Something that’ll bring real joy.”
“Along with being pregnant? Sounds interesting.”
“Why not?”
“Why not indeed. That’s a good New Year’s wish.”
“And you, Mr. Carter?”
He grinned, stroking his beard with his free hand as he thought. “An unexpected adventure sounds good. With what’s around the bend, I’ll likely need one. Something to bring me some peace.”
Her gaze softened, went liquid. She gently tapped her glass to his. “That’s a great New Year’s wish. I hope you have that.”
“To both of us having joy and peace in the New Year,” he said. They sipped their sparkling cider and their gazes locked . . . then the room erupted around them. In lively shouts, the people in the room counted down the last ten seconds of the year, and all Logan could do was stare into Tess’s eyes. When the clock struck midnight and everyone cheered and yelled in excitement, he leaned forward, cupped the back of her neck, and gently pulled her in. His mouth grazed hers in a soft, sweet kiss.
He lingered for a delicious moment, savoring the feel of her lips against his. But when he went to pull back, her hand flew up to cup his cheek, bringing his mouth back to hers for more. He kissed her harder this time, full and blazing. Her lips parted, an invitation, and he took it. His tongue swept inside as he deepened the kiss, tasting her sweetness. Insistent warmth flowed through him. She inched closer, meeting his heat with her own, and he lost himself in her. Sounds and colors around them disappeared . . . There was nothing but them, and the moment.
The searching kisses burned hot and slow, their mouths moving sensually together, tongues tangling, shortened breaths. His fingers sifted through her hair, the softness of her thick curls a delicious surprise. She moaned softly into his mouth, yielding to him . . . A loud cheer across the room startled him and he pulled back, breathing as hard as if he’d hiked up the side of the mountain.
Her eyes, heavy-lidded and dark with desire, locked with his. He realized she was breathing heavy too, and fire seared through his veins, leaving him stunned.
“Happy New Year,” she whispered.
“Happy New Year,” he whispered back. His fingertips trailed along the side of her face. Her skin was impossibly soft. He felt like he was in a trance.
Something vibrated against her leg. With a start, she realized it was her phone, which she’d left beside her on the love seat. Blushing as she laughed, she picked it up to look at the screen. “My brother,” she said. “He’s always the first to call on New Year’s.”
“Which one?” Logan asked. His voice felt thick in his throat and the room seemed a little hazy. His blood still pounded through his veins, and his jeans felt way too tight.
“Charles,” she said. “Do you mind . . . ?”
“Of course not, take the call.”
He sat back and gulped down the cider as he watched her briefly chat on the phone. That had been a hell of a kiss. And yes, he’d initiated it, but she’d taken it a step further. She’d been as into it as he was. Damn, she was so gorgeous. And sexy, and . . .
He downed the rest of the drink and set the empty glass on the table. Whatever was bubbling up inside, he had to put a lid on it immediately. So what if that kiss showed the attraction was mutual. So what if it’d been steamy as hell and made him want to lay her back on the love seat and take her right there. She’d been very clear: no dating for her. She wanted to be alone.
They were friends. Kind of. And that was all they would be. If they ever kissed again, it’d have to come from her. He wouldn’t push it. He was an honorable man, he’d respect her boundaries, and that was that.
Her eyes met his as she wrapped up the call, and a catlike grin spread across her beautiful face. Damn, he wanted her. The force of it gripped him with claws, the rock-hard evidence still straining painfully against his jeans. He schooled his features into neutrality and took some deep breaths, willing the haze of lust to dissipate. The memory of that mind-bending kiss would have to last him, and that was all there was to it. Tess Harrison was off-limits.
* * *
Tess enjoyed the warmth and quiet inside Logan’s truck as he drove her home. The black sky outside was filled with stars. “It always amazes me,” she said as she stared out the window, “the sky here at night. Seems bigger than in New York. And the stars! You can see so many. And they truly sparkle. It’s breathtaking.”
“I know what you mean.” Logan’s deep voice was soft. “I didn’t realize how much I loved it until I moved away. The sky is different here, I think. Seems that way, anyway.” He kept his eyes on the road as he maneuvered around the bends of Red Mountain in the dark. “When I moved from New Orleans, I spent a lot of nights sitting outside, just staring up at the stars. It was . . . very soothing. Calming.”
“Sounds very Zen,” she said.
His cynical grin delighted her. “Yeah, well, that’s about as Zen as I get, I suppose.”
“Too pragmatic for all that?” she guessed.
“Yeah. I’ve just . . . seen too much, I guess.” His lips flattened into a thin line. “Gave up on things like that—Zen, inspirational crap, magic, all that—a while back. I used to think everything happened for a reason. Then I came to realize it’s all bullshit. Sometimes, bad things happen and there’s no goddamn explanation. That’s it.”
His voice wasn’t hard, but the words were. She wondered what he’d seen to make him feel that way. The lines around his eyes crinkled as he squinted into the darkness. He lapsed into a darkness of his own at times, and she wanted to know why. She wanted to know him better.
But he was something of a loner, a man who cherished his solitude. And things he’d told her tonight had only reinforced her suspicions: The man was an island. Which was fine, but she needed to focus all her energies on herself right now, not on this enigmatic man and what made him tick, no matter how alluring she found him. No matter how he could kiss her and make her feel like he was both devouring and revering her at the same time.
God, that kiss . . . It’d been incredible. She wondered if there was any chance of a repeat when she got home, or if that’d been a one-time, New-Year’s-Eve-at-midnight kiss. Her fingertips drifted to her lips as she recalled how his warm, firm mouth felt against hers. The command in his touch, the barely restrained fire . . . Her belly did a little flip and she swallowed hard.
When he pulled up the long driveway and stopped at her front door, he got out before she even had her coat zippered up. He opened her door for her and offered a hand to help her out of the truck, a perfect gentleman.
She murmured thanks as she stepped out. They stood there, smiling pleasantly at each other.
“Thank you for tonight,” she said. “I really enjoyed our time together.”
“I did too,” he said. “It was great.”
“So you’re finally convinced I’m not an entitled rich brat?” she asked.
His eyes fell away in obvious embarrassment, then lifted to meet hers. “I was very wrong about you. Have you forgiven me for being a horse’s ass about it?”
“Absolutely.” Her smile broadened. He was so close that even in the frigid air, she could feel the heat coming off his large, powerful body. Warmth pooled in her limbs, searing through her more sensitive parts . . . She didn’t want the night to end. She wanted to wrap herself in his strong arms. To take him inside and luxuriate in more of those hot, bone-melting kisses.
But this wasn’t supposed to be a date. And it was freezing outside. She cleared her throat and said, “Good night, Logan. Thank you again for tonight.” She put her hands on his broad chest, leaning against him to rise and press her lips to his cheek.
His hands came up and wrapped around her arms, holding her there. Her cheek leaned against his, his beard tickling her and sparking fresh desire. He didn’t kiss her, but held her close for a lingering moment. Her heart started pounding in her chest. All she had to do was turn her face and she could kiss him . . . It seemed like maybe he wanted to? But no . . . If he wasn’t kissing her, maybe he didn’t want to again. Not knowing what to do, she drew back.
His pale green eyes blazed with intensity as he stared down at her. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but then stopped. A hint of a wistful smile curved his lips, and all he said was, “Good night, Tess. Happy New Year.”
“Happy New Year,” she said, and pulled away from him to go inside.