I paced up and down the hallway, watching my feet as they made their way up and down the polished wood floor. I was thinking about Ella, again, and what had happened that day a couple of weeks ago when Mona had first arrived.
I still couldn’t put the pieces together in my head—it just didn’t make any sense to me. I mean, I had gone downstairs for what, less than a minute? I still remembered planting a quick kiss on Ella’s head as I hurried down to grab my spanner to work on one of the parts I had laid out on the kitchen table. And when I came back, she was gone.
I had never felt anything like the fear I felt at that moment. I had been scared for myself before, scared for my friends—but never scared for my own daughter. I couldn’t think of a worse feeling in the world, and it kept me up at night, thinking about what could have happened if Mona hadn’t been there to calm her down and keep her still. Ella was a squirmy, energetic little thing at the best of times—so seeing her so completely still the way she was when I came out to find them was almost too much to bear. I knew something was wrong the moment I laid eyes on her, knew it was more than just her messing around. And when I saw the blood leaking from that wound in her head… I knew things would never be the same after that. I knew someone had hurt my little girl, terrified her beyond belief, and it scared the living shit out of me.
The worst part of it was that I still had no clue who it was. I had promised myself for months that I would set up security cameras around the house, but I had never gotten around to it. I could have kicked myself when I realized what had happened—whoever it was wouldn’t come back now, after they had been foiled. Or at least, after they knew that I was onto them. I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was something to do with the club—and the thought of having to choose between them and her was sickening. I knew it would have to happen at some point, but I assumed it would be a decision I made, not one I was backed into out of necessity.
I had tried asking Ella what had happened that day, but she had stayed almost completely silent on the topic. Whenever I pressed her on what she recalled, she would shrug her shoulders and tell me that she didn’t remember anything. No matter how much I tried to get it out of her, she kept her mouth shut—as though she was protecting someone. As though she was protecting him.
I knew it was a man because I had spotted three man-sized muddy footprints leading across the kitchen the day of the attack. I had tried to follow them outside, to figure out where he’d come in, but I couldn’t find anything—it was a damp day, and any footprints he’d left behind outside had been wiped out by the rain. I couldn’t even see my footprints out there after an hour or so, and his would be long gone by the time I noticed what was in the kitchen.
Shit, there was no way around it—I had let her down. I had let my guard drop for a second, and my daughter had been hurt because of it. I could take some comfort in the fact that I wasn’t away long enough for anything to egregious to have happened—but whatever had gone down, it had been enough to scare her out the window and into the arms of a stranger. Ella usually took a while to warm up to new people, but as soon as I saw her standing next to Mona, I knew she was fine. The way she twisted her body in to face her, I could tell that Mona made her feel safe.
She had left me her number after the inspection, and I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d be better off calling her up and asking her on a date instead of to babysit. I mean, she was cute—really cute, actually, if I was being honest. I’d had a few other social workers in here over the years, but none of them had had Mona’s sparkle. That was the only way I could think to describe her. Her blue-grey eyes gleamed in the light, and her dark brown hair seemed to shine even in the dull weather. Whenever she shot a little smile to Ella, her entire face lit up in the most addictive way—I could have stared at her all day, learning every contour of her face back to front. But I knew I needed a babysitter more than I needed a girlfriend, and she seemed like someone I could trust with Ella. Even though the concept of trusting anyone with my baby girl after what had happened seemed foreign and uncomfortable.
There was no getting out it, though—I knew this time I would actually have to go. The Marauders needed me, and I’d been away long enough. Nothing—not family matters, not romantic shit, not being on the brink of death—would be a good enough excuse to keep me away from them for as long as I had been. I knew I was pushing my luck, but fuck it, I needed to be with my daughter as much as I could. I think they understood that, and I was the head of the gang, so there wasn’t much they could say even if I didn’t, but I still felt guilty, doubly so when I got those calls wondering where I was and why I hadn’t come to that week’s meeting. We were hanging in this space between doing shit and doing nothing, and I knew they were getting frustrated. I knew, because I would be, too.
And that’s how I found myself pacing the hall, half-praying that Mona would turn up and half-praying she wouldn’t. I wanted to get out, but I also wanted an excuse to stay at home and keep an eye on things. I glanced over at Ella, who was coloring quietly on the kitchen table—she knew I was going tonight, and I think she was looking forward to being rid of my overbearing presence for an evening. That was the thing with kids though; they never seemed to realize how serious serious situations were, and how silly silly situations were. It was one of the best things about having them in the first place: their warped and wonderful sense of perspective on things.
My attention was drawn by the sound of a car out on the street—it was a relatively quiet part of town, and I didn’t recognize the sound of the engine as any of my neighbor’s. I peered out the window, and watched as Mona got out of the car. Damn. She looked even better than I remembered, in a casual blue sweater and tight jeans. She looked a little dressed-up to be babysitting; did that have something to do with me?
Before I had a chance to go down that narcissistic line of thought any further, she was at the door. I hurried to open it, and smiled as we were face-to-face once again.
“Hey,” she greeted me, clutching at the bag that was draped over her shoulder. “Good to see you again.”
“You, too.” I stepped aside to let her in. “Less drama this time, I promise.”
“Did you figure out how she got hurt?” she asked, glancing around the place until her eyes fell on Ella.
“Nope.” I shook my head. “I’m still working on it.”
“Fair enough.” She gave me a slightly odd look, and I realized how crazy that must sound to someone like her. Someone who didn’t know an ounce of what was going on in my life.
I knew I should have just kissed Ella goodbye and headed out the door right then and there, but I found myself lingering. I just wanted to make sure they were okay together before I dumped them in each other’s company for a full evening. Mona made her way towards Ella, and sat down at the kitchen table with her. Ella didn’t look up from her coloring, so Mona just sat quietly in her company for a second, letting her get used to her presence.
“So, uh, you’re okay to stay the night?” I asked, lurking awkwardly.
She nodded. “My place is getting fumigated so this works out fine for me,” she said, shrugging. “The guest bedroom is upstairs and to the right, yeah?”
“Yeah.” I nodded, and watched as Ella finally glanced up.
“Hey!” Mona greeted her with a grin. “What are you coloring there?”
“A dinosaur.” Ella turned the picture around so she could see it. Mona examined it with apparently genuine interest.
“That’s awesome!” Mona exclaimed. “I love dinosaurs. What’s his name?”
A few minutes later and the two of them were embroiled in a full-on conversation about this dinosaur that Ella was coloring in; my daughter had always had a kind of crazy imagination, so it wasn’t hard for her to get lost in her own little world. It was just good to see someone else who got that, and was willing to indulge it completely.
“Uh, I think I’m going to head,” I cut in quietly, and walked around the table to give Ella a hug. “Be good!”
“I will!” I could tell she was already keen to get back to her conversation with Mona. The two of them seemed to have hit it off already, and I would just be third wheeling if I stuck around.
“I’ll see you both tomorrow.” I nodded at them, and Mona flashed me a brief smile. I felt my heart flip in my chest. Oh, come on, she’s the babysitter—could it be any more of a cliché? I went to grab my helmet from where it lived in the coat cupboard, shot one last look over my shoulder at the two of them, and went to wheel my bike out of the garage. The rain was falling again, but for once, it didn’t bother me—because I could trust in the fact that my daughter was safe, and that was the only thing I gave a damn about.