It was incredible how quickly you could adapt to something new.
I had thought that anything that took me away from Ella would change my life for the worse, but it turned out that Mona only made it better.
She was amazing with my daughter—there was no doubt about that. She didn’t try and play mommy, but instead just reached out to her as a companion. I knew Ella adored her. She had never said as much to me, but it was clear from her excitement every time Mona appeared at the door, and her quiet little pout when it was time for her to go. I took it personally the first couple of times, but I began to relax when I saw what an amazing impact Mona was having on her life. And mine.
Yeah, sometimes I wished she would absentmindedly wander downstairs in her nightshirt a few more times, but I had to do my best to keep those thoughts out of my head for the sake of my daughter. It was nice having a woman around the house though, no doubt—not to do all the womanly shit like cook and clean, but just to have some female energy that came from somewhere other than my own daughter. I spent so much time around dudes with the club that it was good to get away from that once in a while and enjoy the company of someone who didn’t base their masculinity on the size and loudness of their bike.
Not that Mona and I saw a lot of each other; she stayed over maybe four nights a week, and I would stay out as long as the club would allow me each evening. I would return to the house, make us both a coffee, and enjoy some adult conversation before Ella got up and I got her ready for school. Mona would go out to work, I would catch some sleep, and Ella would head off to school. We felt like a little family.
I knew it was dangerous. I would have been stupid not to see it. The last time I played happy families, it blew up in my face in the most dramatic way possible. Even just thinking about putting myself and Ella through that bullshit again was scary, but goddammit, I couldn’t argue with the fact that it felt right to have someone filling in the mother-adjacent role in this house. And Mona seemed to enjoy it, too—even if she and I were missing out on the most fun parts of the arrangement.
One morning, I came into the house later than I normally did—morning had already broken by the time I crept through the door, and Mona was already making up a pot of coffee when I walked in.
“Morning.” She turned to me, eyebrows raised. “I missed you when I came down.”
I eyed her for a second, and she quickly corrected herself.
“Missed the coffee, that is,” she jumped in, flushing slightly. I made my way across the room towards her, dumping my helmet on the table as I went. I peeled off my jacket and collapsed onto one of the bar stools around the counter, letting out a small sigh of relief.
“God, it feels good to be back,” I murmured, half to myself. “Thanks for staying over again.”
“Hey, as long as you’re paying me.” She shrugged. I felt a little stab to the gut—even though I knew it was stupid, I had kind of hoped she would have been doing this no matter what the paycheck was. She didn’t seem to notice the little flicker of doubt on my face, and carried on making herself her coffee. She handed me a cup—made perfectly, as though she’d been watching like a hawk all those times I’d made it in front of her in the last few weeks—and leaned up against the counter.
“So, get up to anything interesting last night?” she asked brightly, and I had to stifle a yawn—I was so just freaking exhausted.
“I was just spending some time with the club,” I replied. “Getting our jobs in order for the next few weeks, you know.”
“What kind of jobs do you do?” She leaned forward excitedly. “Are they dangerous?”
“Not really.” I shook my head. “Just body-guarding, that kind of thing. It’s pretty banal but it pays the bills for most of the guys there.”
“Oh, right.” Her face fell a little bit, as though she had been hoping for some insane tales of derring-do. “I guess I just thought…”
“Yeah, I hate to break it to you, but motorcycle club stuff isn’t exactly the way they show it on TV,” I teased gently. “Seriously, I’m not some kind of criminal living outside the law or some shit. It’s just what I do.”
“I guess I thought any job that required you to stay out all night must be pretty exciting,” she remarked, peering at me over the top of her coffee cup. Those eyes—I could get used to waking up to those every morning. The piercing blue-grey of her irises sparkled in the morning light, and I couldn’t help but smile at her.
“So, how was Ella last night?” I asked, changing the topic before I leaned over to kiss her. My coffee breath was nothing to be scoffed at, and anyway, I didn’t want to mess up whatever it was we had here by making it uncomfortable for her. As far as she was concerned, she was just doing a favor for a single dad because she loved kids. There was no reason for her to think there was anything more to this, and I certainly wasn’t going to press the issue.
“She was great.” Mona smiled fondly. “It’s weird, I’ve never spent this much time around one kid before. Not even my family.”
“Really?” I furrowed my brow at her. “Maybe it’s just my family, but I don’t know how on Earth that’s possible.”
She shook her head with a small laugh. “I know, no one can believe that I didn’t grow up around kids, especially considering what I do for a living,” she commented. “But…I just didn’t.”
“So how did you get into this line of work, then?”
“I wanted to help people, I guess.” She glanced down at the coffee in her cup, as though trying to come up with a satisfactory answer. “But being around Ella…it makes me see why people love kids as much as they do.”
“She’s a little charmer,” I agreed. “But not all of them are like that. She’s special.”
“Oh yeah, and what father wouldn’t say that about his daughter?” she pointed out teasingly. I opened my mouth to protest, but she held her hand up before I could. “I know, though. She really is just so precious. You should be very proud of her.”
“I am.” I grinned. And then, there she was—at the top of the stairs, rubbing her eyes and heading down the steps in a slightly wobbly fashion.
“Hey, baby!” I placed my coffee cup down and hurried over to greet her as she reached the bottom of the stairs. “Time to get ready for school!”
And so, the day kicked off again—me dropping Ella off down the road and watching as she made her way to her little cluster of friends and then into her classroom, then driving back home to catch some shut-eye. When I came through the door, I pulled off my jacket, my shirt, and my boots, and made for the stairs.
“Oh! Uh…”
I turned around, and found Mona standing next to the kitchen counter, frozen. Shit. What was it with us and accidentally getting half-naked in front of each other?
“Shit, sorry,” I apologized, reaching for my clothes. “I was just going to bed.”
“No, no, I’m sorry, I should have been out by now.” She let her eyes linger on my body for a second, before averting them towards the ground in front of her feet. “I was just making a few calls. I’ll go now.”
“See you tomorrow?” I called after her as she went for the door, and she nodded without looking up at me.
“See you tomorrow,” she mumbled, and slammed the door behind her as she stepped out on to the sidewalk. Her voice echoed around my head for a moment, and I wondered if what had happened was a bad thing or whether it was going to turn out to be a good thing in the long run.