* * *
The next morning, I wake early—much earlier than my phone’s alarm. The dream I’d been caught up in had been erotic, and the ache between my legs had woken me. My fingers are already pressed to my clit through the fabric of my panties, rubbing it gently as I try to ease the ache. I’d dreamed of Devlin, and his talented hands had brought my body to life—something I’ve never experienced.
My eyes fly open when I realize what I’m doing. I’ve never touched myself before—at least not in the way to feel good, and I’ve never experienced an orgasm. There was no time, no safe place for me to ever consider pleasuring myself. Being deaf never allowed me to let my guard down—no matter which foster home I was living in. My inability to hear seems to give people the impression that they can open doors and walk in on me whenever they want. The privacy that most people are customarily given has never been extended to me.
This is the first time I’ve ever wanted to experience release, and it’s all because of Devlin Kade. I yank my hand from my panties and abruptly sit up. I don’t want to think about Devlin and the starring role he’d had in my explicit dream, so I quickly climb out of bed and begin readying myself for my shift at the library. It’s far too early to leave, but I’m angry at myself for allowing Devlin to get beneath my skin. He’s the last person I should be attracted to.
By the time I’m out of the shower, it’s still early enough that Keagan’s door is closed, indicating that he’s sleeping. Maybe waking early was worthwhile after all. I could use some alone time without anyone breathing down my neck.
After making certain that I have enough money for breakfast, I move around the apartment as quietly as possible and leave. Keagan is going to be pissed, but I brush it off. I’m eighteen, fully capable of taking the subway by myself.
I walk to the subway, pay my fare, and take it to my usual stop a few blocks from the library. Then, I browse the eateries that are beginning to open, and I find a quaint little shop that serves muffins, coffee, and souvenirs. There’s a few small tables and booths, and I take the corner table and sip my coffee while I enjoy an apple cinnamon muffin.
While I eat, Devlin shifts to the forefront of my mind. If he had tried to kiss me last night, would I have let him? I’m not certain. Frankly, I’m still wrapping my head around the fact that someone as sexy as him is interested in someone like me. And no, I am not putting myself down. I have great things to offer, I know I do, but the reality is, I’m only eighteen. He’s likely in his mid to late twenties—too old for me. I don’t agree with his actions or his criminal activity, and I’m about as opposite from him as one can get. It seems strange that he would find me interesting or attractive, and yet yesterday, it seemed as if he were interested. Very much so. What if all this is part of a plan that he claims he doesn’t have?
I sip my coffee, frowning. I’m so confused. I’ve always been confident and satisfied with who I am, but Devlin’s kind of throwing a wrench into what I think I know. Most of my teen years was spent just trying to keep my head above water and staying out of trouble, so boys weren’t high up on my list. In fact, I’ve never even kissed one—at least not willingly, but I don’t want to think about that horrible altercation behind the school. The opposite sex hasn’t ever held much fascination for me—until now. Devlin’s awakening emotions that I’ve never experienced, and I resent him for it. Why him? Why now? I’d known someday in the future that I’d meet someone, maybe even fall in love. I’d pictured someone cute, maybe funny, and completely open and accepting of my deafness. That’s the kind of man I need, not some domineering jerk that wants to make all my decisions for me.
I’d set my purse on my lap, and I feel a slight vibration, letting me know that I’d received another text. It had been going off for a while now, and I know I’m being unfair to Keagan. I shouldn’t have run out like I had, but at the same time, I’m a grown adult. Though an adult would have at least left a note or something, and my face scrunches guiltily.
When my purse vibrates a minute later, I decide that I’d better respond before Keagan calls for backup. It wouldn’t surprise me one bit if he feels the need to contact Devlin. I bite my lip. Maybe I should have answered his texts. The last thing I need is Devlin contacting me, not after my vivid dream. I can feel my face heat as I pull my phone from my purse.
Damn it. I’m too late.
I have texts from Keagan, but I also have one from Devlin. I decide to deal with the worst of the two evils, and I open Devlin’s text. Where the fuck are you?
My eyebrows lift, eloquent as always. I quickly send, So kind of you to ask. I went out on my own because I’m adult. Eighteen, you know. People my age can come and go as they please without someone holding their hand. Perhaps you should look up the definition of legal adult.
I wait for his reply and take another sip of my coffee. Much to my surprise, his response takes much longer than I anticipated. When it arrives, I blink as I read his text, and then I reread it. Your ungratefulness is appalling. If you find yourself mugged or far worse, don’t call me.
He’s pissed, and that should bring me a sense of triumph, but it doesn’t. I am being ungrateful, but only because he thinks he owns me. Everything I’ve ever learned has shaped me into who I am today, and my gut is warning me not to trust him. Nothing is given freely, and I don’t want to be caught off guard when he quits playing games and tells me what he really wants. He’s up to his eyeballs in bad things, including human trafficking. I’d be a fool to trust him.
Right now, my single focus should be protecting myself. I can’t do that if I misplace my trust with someone who hasn’t earned it and likely doesn’t deserve it. But then an unpleasant thought hits me. What if Devlin Kade is honestly trying to help? It’s difficult to even wrap my mind around that thought, but if he had an ulterior motive, wouldn’t he have just done whatever he wanted with me by now? Why go through all this trouble?
I press my fingers to the skin on my forehead that’s beginning to furrow as I frown. I don’t know what to think or what to believe. Only time will reveal whether Devlin’s the man I think him to be—a coldblooded remorseless killer, or if I’ve unfairly judged him as others have done to me. There’s something going on behind that apathetic exterior of his. I can try to deny it all I want, but the truth is, I want to peek beneath the surface and find out who he truly is.