* * *
Later that evening, I find myself sitting in a booth at a pool hall with Keagan and Lance. Earlier, Keagan and I had gone back and forth about where we should go. I didn’t want the evening to revolve around my deafness, and Keagan had wanted to make sure I felt included no matter what we did. In the past, Keagan has told me that he and Lance enjoy karaoke bars and movies, so in the end, I’d insisted we go to a bar with pool tables. That way, they could drink and relax, and I could learn how to shoot pool.
Lance turns out to be a very pleasant surprise. His personality is like Keagan’s, and he’s incredibly easy to get along with. He even knows a little ASL. Granted, it’s a little stilted, and he’s mixed up some gestures, but I’d still been able to gather what he’d been trying to say.
They’re also utterly adorable together. We’d played pool for an hour before ordering a meal, and I’d not only been fascinated with learning pool, but also with watching them interact. They are very much in love, but not over the top with their affection. There’s a few touches here and there or lingering smiles. A brief embrace, but nothing that would be considered too much PDA.
I sip my soda and watch as Lance shares his day with us. I’d assured him I read lips and to just relax and not worry about signing. Sometimes, he still inserts a gesture here and there, and I think it’s sweet he’s trying to make certain I feel included.
Lance’s chosen field in medicine is pediatrics, so he has plenty of stories to share of unfiltered conversations with children. It’s been a wonderful evening, and I am so glad that I’d asked to meet him.
The only letdown are the two men that keep glancing at Keagan and Lance every so often. I can tell that they disapprove, and occasionally, they turn away, their heads bent together—no doubt complaining about the sight of two gay men. I don’t think Keagan and Lance notice though, which is good.
I, on the other hand, have always been very conscious of my surroundings because of lacking one of my senses. I probably notice things more than the average person, so as our meal finishes, I find myself relieved to be leaving the pool hall. There was just something about those men’s expressions that warned me they were trouble and to just avoid them if possible.
Out on the sidewalk, Keagan and Lance try to situate me between them out of politeness, but I brush them off and walk beside Keagan so that Lance can be on his other side. Lance had driven us to the pool hall since he owns a car, but with as busy as the area is, we’d had to park in the four-story parking ramp two blocks over.
The night is pleasantly warm now that summer is ending and the heat waves have passed. It’s not until we’re almost to the ramp that I sense we’re being followed. Keagan and Lance haven’t noticed, but I’ve developed a sixth sense when it comes to these things. My gut warns me that this could turn bad if it’s the same men who were at the pool hall.
Keagan suddenly draws me closer to his side, and I can tell he’s tensing as we reach the side entrance that leads to the elevator and stairs. We’d parked on the third floor. Both Keagan and Lance usher me ahead of them, but instead of waiting for the elevator, they hurry me to the stairs. I know that if I weren’t with, they’d probably face the danger head-on, but having a woman with them changes how they’d typically react. They want to see to my safety first.
We’ve reached the second level and are heading up the stairs when the two men catch up to us. One of them grabs Lance by the back of his shirt and drags him backwards towards the second level stairway. His fists immediately begin pounding on Lance.
It’s such a brutal attack that I stand frozen in shock as Keagan defends himself against the other attacker. The men from the pool hall don’t seem to care about me, fortunately. After snapping out of my moment of shock, I race up the stairwell, searching for help. There isn’t anyone around, and I burst through the third-floor door and look around anxiously. The parking ramp is dimly lit and full of vehicles, but no one’s in sight.
Shit!
That’s when I spy the overflowing garbage located near the door. An empty bottle is laying on the cement. I bend down and slam the bottle against the pavement so that I’m now holding jagged glass. I refuse to leave Keagan and Lance to deal with the hate crime that’s taking place one level below.
I rush through the door and fly down the stairwell. Keagan’s holding his own against his attacker, but Lance is on the floor, and the attacker’s fists are still pummeling him. Without a second thought, I throw myself at the guy on top of Lance, trying to yank him off. I’ve caught him by surprise, and I’m about to shove the broken bottle in his face when he backhands me, sending me flying.
I hit the pavement on my back, the air whooshing from my lungs. My cheek throbs, but I ignore the pain as I scramble to my knees. The guy’s turning back to finish Lance, and I lunge at him and press the glass to his neck, my heart hammering in my chest. A hint of blood appears where the glass is pressing into his skin, and I tighten my grip on the damaged bottle so the glass doesn’t press further into his neck. I don’t want to kill him or even hurt him, but he needs to stop.
His mouth opens as his eyes bulge, and then I can tell he’s shouting to his partner. I keep my eyes trained on him, knowing that if I look away for a second, he’ll make a move. After a brief stare down with me, he glares and puts his hands up. I use my free hand to motion for him to get to his feet, and we both slowly rise. His eyes dart to the left, and in the corner of my eye, I note that Keagan has the accomplice in a neck hold.
I’m too short to be able to hold the glass to the man’s neck as he reaches his full height, but instead of trying to hurt me, he backs off, slowly. Then, he spits on Lance before disappearing out the second level door.
The guy in Keagan’s grip struggles, and Keagan makes a face of disgust before shoving him away. The guy quickly ducks out the door after his friend.
We’re alone now.
We both rush to Lance’s side. He looks to be coughing, and his face is bleeding from various cuts. I hurriedly pull out my phone, shoving it to Keagan so he can call for help.
He blinks, and when he looks at me, something new flashes in his gaze. He grips my shoulders as a trickle of blood drips from his split lip. His lips move, and I try to focus on them. I didn’t catch all of what he’d said, but I had understood going to the car and something about Kade.
Keagan leans back and begins to sign, We need to call the police, and this is going to take a while. It’d be best if you weren’t involved. I don’t see any surveillance cameras in the stairwell, so there’s no point in dragging you into it. Take the keys and lock yourself in the car. I’ll call Mr. Kade.
I shake my head but he signs, He wouldn’t want you involved. Besides, Lance probably needs to go to the hospital. Please, Charli.
I glance at Lance, who’s visibly in pain as he tries to sit up. When Keagan places Lance’s car keys in my hand, I reluctantly nod. Once he makes certain both our phones are set to video chat, I make my way up to the third level and keep the phone trained on myself and the surrounding area. This way, Keagan can see that I’m safe. When I reach the car, I unlock it and climb into the passenger seat, relocking it. I give Keagan a thumbs up before ending the chat and switching to text. Please keep me updated, I send.
I will, I promise. I’m calling Kade and then the police. Sit tight.
Knowing that he can’t text and make phone calls at the same time, I blow out a breath and watch the stairwell door. My heart is finally calming, but now I’m so damn angry. I’ve always felt like a minority, but seeing what had just happened to Keagan and Lance because of their sexuality brings the awareness that Keagan has his own struggles to deal with.
A lump thickens in my throat. We live in a world where our differences are frowned upon and used against us. Why can’t people accept others as they are? Why is there so much hate? These are all questions I’ve asked myself since the moment I’d realized that I wasn’t like everyone else.
The phone vibrates in my hand, and I’m anxious for Keagan’s update. Instead, it’s Devlin. Are you safe?
Yes, I reply. I hate hiding, but I know I’d be an added complication that Keagan already insisted they didn’t need. This crime was about them, not me.
I’m on my way. Are you hurt? he promptly sends back.
I’m fine, but Lance is hurt. My chest aches as I think about Keagan and Lance and what they’re going through right now. Earlier, they’d been so happy, and two assholes ruined it because they couldn’t wrap their bigoted minds around the fact that two grown men are happy with one another.
I’m aware. Keagan will keep me updated. We’re about five minutes away. The car doors are locked?
Yes.
When a minute goes by and he doesn’t send anything further, I turn my attention from the phone and watch for anyone coming or going on this level. Everything appears calm, and I find that I am, too. The conversation with Devlin had been a welcoming distraction.
I’m lost in thought until I see sweeping headlights coming down the aisle. The vehicle seems to be moving slowly, and when I see that it’s a limousine, I know it’s Devlin.
After unlocking the doors, I step out of the car as the limo stops directly behind Lance’s car. The back door opens and Devlin climbs out. He’s a welcoming sight, and he strides over and pulls me against his firm chest, holding me tightly.
The scent of his cologne soothes me, and I lean into his embrace, wrapping my arms around his waist. He’s wearing a business suit—as usual—and I try not to smudge the pricey fabric as I press my cheek against his chest.
When Devlin tries to nudge me towards the waiting limo, I balk and turn towards Lance’s car, making certain to relock the car. Then, I frown and look at Devlin. He’s looking at me questioningly, and I hold up the keys. What am I supposed to do with them? Lance and Keagan will need them.
Comprehension flickers across his features, and he holds out his hand. I set the keys in his palm and watch as he hides them on the front tire near the fender.
As I’m ushered to the limo, I grip my phone in my hand. As soon as we’re settled and leaving the parking ramp, I text, What if someone steals the car?
Devlin already has his phone out, and he scans my question. The interior of the limo is dimly lit, so he texts his reply. I’ll buy him a new one.
I read his response and roll my eyes. Of course, he will.
Then, my attention shifts as we exit the parking ramp and turn onto the street. A police car is parked at the curb by the stairwell, and my heart sinks once more. I had expected an entirely different ending to this evening.
I’m brought back to the present as Devlin shifts closer to me, though he doesn’t draw me to him. His presence is too much to resist, and I rest my head on his shoulder as we drive through the city. His warm hand settles on my knee, but there’s nothing sexual in his touch. He’s comforting me, something that I never thought he was capable of.
It isn’t until we’re pulling into the underground parking garage at the hotel that I lift my head, realizing that he’s not taking me home. I fumble with my phone and text, Why are we here?
His hand leaves my knee, and he swipes his phone to initiate the screen. A second later, my phone lights up with a new text.
Keagan won’t be back until early morning. I was hoping you’d stay the night. In the guest room, of course. No pressure.
I slowly reread his text a second time. I’m not sure if I’m irritated or grateful. I send back, Asking me would have been nice. I don’t like that he’d assumed that it would be okay. It’s important that he begin to realize I don’t want him making decisions for me, which is why I’d pointed out that he hadn’t asked.
I glance at him, watching his expression in the poor lighting.
He visibly winces, and he rubs his face before typing his response. Shit. I’m sorry. I’ll have Aiden take you home. As soon as I’ve read his text, I see Devlin putting his phone to his ear as the limo comes to a stop. He’s calling his driver.
Before I can doubt my next move, I reach over and touch his arm, shaking my head. He wants me to stay, and I think it would be a good way for me to get to know him further. He’d already assured me that he intends for me to stay in the guest room so there are no expectations.
He lowers the phone.
As the side door opens, I motion that I’m willing to stay. He hesitates and then gives me a crisp nod. Aiden helps me out of the limo, and then Devlin puts a hand to my lower back and guides me to the private elevator.
It’s not until we’re stepping into the large, impressive room with the incredible view of Manhattan that I recall I’m wearing a vintage tee, jeans, and the Converse sneakers I’ve become obsessed with. I look every bit a teenager while he looks very much a man.
I straighten my spine and brush off my momentary doubts. I’m dressed for comfort. It’s not my fault the man lives in suits and ties.
When I glance at Devlin, I find his eyes locked on my face as his features slowly darken. I self-consciously touch my face. Am I dirty from the fight?
His lips move as he invades my personal space. “I thought you said you weren’t hurt.” His hand reaches out, and he brushes a thumb gently over my tender cheek.
I’d completely forgotten about it, but now that he’s brought attention to it, it does kind of hurt. Before I can lift my phone to respond, he begins ushering me to one of the white sofas. After I sit, he crosses the room to the private bar. I watch him rummage behind it before he comes back with a clear bag filled with ice, and a hand towel. He sits beside me and wraps the towel around the ice before bringing it to my cheek, his eyes blazing with anger.
I reach up, my fingers brushing his as I take over holding the ice to my cheek. Thank you, I mouth to him, knowing his anger isn’t directed towards me.
He nods, and his eyes search mine intently before something dangerous stirs within them. “I need to make a few calls. Make yourself at home, and I’ll be back shortly.”
I nod, and his eyes linger on me a moment longer before he moves away and stands. I watch him stride from the room, and when he’s gone, I bite my inner lip. There’s no doubt in my mind that the calls he needs to make likely deal with what had gone down tonight.
He’d told me to make myself comfortable, so I’m going to. I toe off my sneakers and shift on the sofa so that I’m reclined and facing the windows. Sadness begins to creep up on me as I think of Keagan and Lance. I’m also worried that Devlin might blame Keagan though none of this was his fault. However, Keagan is supposed to be helping me stay safe, and I was far from safe tonight. I’ll have to bring it up when Devlin comes back.
As I stare out at the skyline, the minutes begin to tick by. At least a half hour passes before Devlin eventually reappears. His suit jacket is gone, the first few buttons of his shirt have been undone, and his shirt cuffs are rolled up his forearms.
He sits down at my hip, his eyes fastened on the ice I’ve been absently holding to my cheek. He reaches for it, carefully pulling it aside so he can look at the skin.
His lips visibly tighten.
I sit up and touch his arm, bringing his eyes to mine. My lips part to speak since my phone is currently tucked in the back pocket of my jeans, but then I hesitate. I’m self-conscious of myself when I speak, and it’s never gone well in the past. I don’t think I’m ready to reveal that part of myself to him. To be honest, I don’t know if I ever will. I still don’t know much about him, and it’s inevitable that I’ll likely screw up with pronunciations. I don’t want to give him another reason to see me as weak.
Devlin looks at me intently, something akin to hope flashing in his eyes until they dim when he realizes I’m not going to use my voice after all.
Dropping my eyes to avoid his disappointment, I dig my phone from my pocket and type, Tonight wasn’t Keagan’s fault. I tilt the phone to Devlin so he can read it.
He frowns, his eyes lifting to mine. “You think I’d blame him for what went down?”
I hesitate and shrug. I don’t know what he would do.
His brows pull together, and I watch as he rubs his jaw. “Charli, I might come off as a bastard most of the time, but I’m not going to drop the blame in Keagan’s lap.” Regret flickers in his gaze. “I haven’t given you much reason to think otherwise, have I?”
I turn my attention back to my phone. I’m trying to get to know you, but it’s not easy when we met under the worst of circumstances.
Devlin scans my text, and he nods in agreement. “I know.” His eyes lift to mine. “What can I do to change your opinion of me?”
I don’t know, I mouth to him.
His eyes shift to the window, and I watch as he appears to contemplate something. I would love to know what’s going on inside his head, but all I can do is patiently wait to see what his next move will be.
His eyes shift back to me, and the corners of his mouth dip down. “I’m not good at expressing my emotions. I grew up hiding all my weaknesses because my father would use them against me.” He gives me a sardonic look. “A sign of weakness was the ultimate sin, especially when you’re the Kade heir. My mother died from an illness when I was three, and from then on, I had a long slew of nannies. My father never smiled at me or sought me out. He didn’t pay attention to me unless I was acting out, and I’d learned it was the only way to get him to actually see me. I was nine when I insisted I wanted to learn about the organization, and that’s when he’d began to take an interest in me. He turned me into a carbon copy of himself, and I was taught to never feel anything. Emotions have no place in the organization. He placed a gun in my hand when I was ten, and I won’t lie to you. I killed people. I had to prove myself.”
I stare at him, trying to read his lips while controlling my emotions at the same time, but it’s difficult. My heart is breaking for the little boy that grew up in a loveless home.
His eyes hold mine as he continues, “When my father died, I took over. It’s all I’ve ever known.” He visibly hesitates. “Then, you entered my life, and now I’m struggling with the knowledge that there’s more to life than the organization and the businesses I utilize to hide the truth of what I do.” He’s finished speaking, and he’s watching me with rapt eyes, waiting to see how I’m going to react. A muscle throbs in his jaw, and he looks uncomfortable. He’d just opened himself up to me—probably something he’s never done in his life.
I move closer and touch his jaw, my eyes soft as I gaze at him. This man, there’s two sides of him, and he’s struggling to merge them together to become the man he should be. I can see that clearly. We’re both looking for the same thing, acceptance. All his life he’s had his father’s name to get him what he wants, but outside of that, I think he just wants someone to see him for who he really is.
I’m nervous to make the first move, but I frame his face in my hands and lean in close, brushing my lips against his. The look on his face just now, the vulnerability, it stirs something inside me. When my lips had touched his, I’d fully expected him to take over, but instead, he holds himself completely still as I gently kiss his firm, warm lips. His hands have settled on my waist, and a slow building heat is uncoiling deep within me. The real Devlin is the man I crave badly, and I tilt my head as I tease his lips, nipping at his lower lip.
A shudder makes its way through his body, and I can feel it as I climb onto his lap—all my insecurities slipping away. He wants me, and that’s the only thing that matters. Our pasts, it all peels away, revealing just us and our aching bodies.
Devlin comes alive, and his hands grip my hips as he urges my legs apart so the hard bulge of his erection can press intimately against me. His tongue sweeps into my mouth as I instinctively grind my hips against his.
I’m lost in a haze of lust as his lips trail down my jaw while his hips move beneath me in a seductive rhythm that’s causing my breath to hitch.
His lips abruptly leave my neck, and suddenly, he’s staring at me, his eyes hooded with desire. His body has stilled as he looks at me searchingly. “Tell me to stop and I will,” he says.
Not yet, I mouth. This feels too good. I’ve never experienced these sensations before, and I’m not ready to end it. I will eventually, but things haven’t gone far enough for me to begin having doubts.
He nods, and his lips claim mine once more. Warm hands ease beneath my shirt and caress the skin along my ribs, causing me to arch my back as I urge him to explore. His lips pull back from mine, and he slides my shirt up as his eyes hold mine captive, making certain that I’m still okay with what we’re doing. He slips the fabric over my head and tosses it aside, leaving me clad in my white, lace bra.
His eyes wander over my bare skin, glinting with hunger. “Beautiful,” he says before he leans in close and trails his lips down my neck and then lower. I grip his hair, allowing him to explore as I feel him unsnap my bra. It falls away, and my breath hitches.
Devlin quickly pulls back, his eyes snaring mine instead of taking in my nakedness. He swallows hard, obviously trying to restrain himself. “Did I go too far?”
Heat tinges my cheeks as I shyly shake my head. I want this, but I am feeling nervous being bared to him. No one’s seen me naked before.
His eyes hold mine for a long moment until he pulls me closer. His eyelashes sweep down as he lowers his head and kisses the swell of my right breast. My eyes close, and my heart pounds in my chest as those seductive lips trail to the distended tip and close over it. It feels so good, and I moan, my hips restlessly rubbing against the hardness pressing into me. His tongue flicks my nipple before stroking and curling around it.
More, I need more.
Talented fingers begin to play with my other breast, and I drop my head back, clutching his head to me as he evokes sensations that I’ve never felt before. I ache between my legs, and I grind against him, desperate to ease it.
One of his hands drop to the button of my jeans, playing with it but not releasing it. He’s waiting for my permission. Through my lust hazed mind, I know I can’t let things go too far, and yet I can’t stop this moment of insanity. I want him to touch me. I want what I’ve never felt before, and I want Devlin to be the one to give it to me.
Before I can change my mind, I reach between us and unbutton my jeans, drawing down the zipper before biting my lip and dropping my head, burrowing it between his neck and shoulder. I know I’m hiding, but I can’t look at him while he touches me.
The world suddenly shifts.
My eyes fly open with alarm until I realize he’s easing me onto my back, and his head hovers above mine, eyes searching. I feel myself turning a deep shade of scarlet.
A devious grin forms across his lips as he situates his body beside mine, his hand spanning across my belly. His touch causes my stomach muscles to tense, and I can’t stop my hips from shifting restlessly. He leans down, kissing me as his hand slides down beneath my panties.
I instinctively part my legs, and his fingers brush against my femininity. I think I’m moaning with need, but who knows. It doesn’t matter. I just want to feel.
He gently massages my clit, and I push myself into his hand, begging for more. It’s an intoxicating feeling, and something is beginning to build deep within me. I had no idea it could feel this good. It’s so much better than I could have ever imagined.
I clutch his broad shoulders tightly and burrow my face in the curve of his neck as I hover on the precipice of something amazing. Then, everything explodes, and I know I’m crying out as my core convulses and throbs. Oh my... I’ve never felt anything so…intense. I ride out the sensation as Devlin caresses my clit until I’m limp and unmoving.
As I draw air into my lungs, I feel his hand leave my body. Then, he shifts so that I can no longer hide from him, and his lips press against my temple as I rest my head against his shoulder.
For a few minutes, I simply lie there, trying to wrap my mind around what I’d just allowed to happen. How had a conversation evolved into my first orgasm?
Devlin brushes my hair away from my forehead, and I hesitantly turn my head to meet his hooded gaze. He looks content but also watchful. “Too far too fast?” he asks.
I swallow and think over his question. It had happened fast, but I also know that I’m the one who’d instigated it.
My phone, I need my phone.
I sit up and begin looking around for it. That’s when I recall my jeans are undone, and I am naked from the waist up. Warmth spreads along my cheeks as I turn away from Devlin and snatch my bra off the floor. With my back to him, I slip it on and then quickly tug on my shirt before buttoning my jeans. Once my clothes are in place, I feel better equipped to handle the upcoming conversation.
I swipe my phone from the floor and turn to Devlin to find that he’s sitting up, his expression troubled as he watches me. His brow creases, and he says, “Did I just fuck this up?” He genuinely looks concerned.
I shake my head and quickly type, No. I climbed on you, remember? I tilt the phone to show him.
He scans the text. “True,” he concedes. “But I took it to the next level.” His eyes search mine. “Are you okay with what just happened?”
After hesitating, I type, Yes and no. It happened fast, and I acknowledge I started it. I frown, trying to sort out how to get across what I’m feeling in a text message. How do I tell him that the intensity of what I’d just experienced scares me? I also know that the next time he touches me, I’m going to want to go up in flames again. This thing we’d started tonight, it’s going to always be there between us—waiting for one of us to strike the match and start the fire.
When Devlin’s hand caresses my face, urging me to look at him, I lift my gaze from the phone.
He peers at me, and there’s a softness lingering in the depths of his gaze. “What just happened was something that I will forever hold onto. It meant something, and I think it’s frightened you.” He visibly draws in a deep breath before exhaling. “Charli, I’m not going anywhere. This can play out as slow as you want, or at whatever pace you wish. Just don’t…shut me out.”
My features pull into a frown. I’m not shutting him out. I turn to my phone, but Devlin touches my cheek to gain my attention. I watch his lips. “You don’t need to say anything. Nothing at all. We don’t even have to talk about it. I just want you to feel comfortable with me.”
A little part of me is relieved, because my emotions are all over the place right now. I also don’t want to say something wrong, and right now, he’s saying all the right things.
“Would you like to shower?” he asks. “It’s late, and I have some business to take care of.”
Someone else might take it as being dismissed, but I see it for what it is. I need time to process what we’d done, and he’s acknowledging it. Things are shifting back to normal, and I nod with a grateful smile. A shower would be nice, and I also want to check in with Keagan.
Devlin straightens his shirt and rises to his feet. “I’ll take you to the guest room.”