Thirteen
Charli
The following day, my mind is still on Devlin as I slip a book in its correct slot during my shift at the library. Last night, I’d gone to bed with a rollercoaster of emotions taking up residence inside my chest.
In fact, during the subway ride, I’d even envisioned asking questions of my own. I wonder why he is the way he is. Was it his father that molded him into the man he is today? Does he ever let his guard down? Does he ever do anything he honestly enjoys? I’m curious, because every time I’ve seen him, he’s so stoic. He doesn’t strike me as the type to enjoy the small, simple things in life.
I’d had so many questions building in my mind, and because he’d been easy to be around during our brief time together, I’d foolishly thought I might be able to personally return the money. If I could have foreseen how he’d react, I would have dropped it off at the hotel lobby as I’d originally planned. I should have known he wouldn’t be happy about it, but I hadn’t expected him to be so disrespectful. Why couldn’t he just let me have my say and then share his opinion?
I grimace and begin pushing the cart down the aisle. Though to be fair, he hadn’t even finished speaking when I’d begun signing. I, too, had done some interrupting of my own.
As I search for the next aisle number, my lips flatten. I’d thought that I’d walk away from last night with maybe a little insight into Devlin Kade. Instead, I’d walked away with anger and a hell of a lot more questions than I’d had before.
And where does that leave us? I’m still living in an apartment he’s paying for, and Keagan is still working for him. I think it would be best if Devlin and I went our separate ways, but I need him to come to the same conclusion. Judging by last night, he’s not there yet.
I turn a corner and spy the aisle number I’m looking for. A woman is standing there, browsing. She looks up and smiles. I return it and make my way further down the aisle, my eyes scanning the book numbers as I pass by.
About the only thing that had redeemed Devlin—just a smidgen—was he’d left after I’d stormed out of the room. Keagan, the kindhearted man that he is, had dared to defend Devlin. He’d explained that Devlin had genuinely regretted his actions and hadn’t realized how offensive the act had been. That was about as far as I’d allowed Keagan to get with the conversation. Last night, I hadn’t been in the mood to listen to my closet friend—well, my only friend—defend someone who has been a monumental asshole since the moment I’d laid eyes on him.
Today, my anger has faded somewhat. I’m still mad, and I’m not going to make excuses for Devlin, but obviously he’s never been around anyone that’s deaf. It’s not like I want special treatment, but he’s going to have to learn what’s appropriate and what’s not. I suppose it’ll be interesting to see how he acts the next time I see him. How do I know there’ll be a next time? Because he’s Devlin Kade. So there’s that, but I’d also been the one to have the last word.
Whatever reason he has for sticking his nose in my life, it’s going to keep him from leaving me alone entirely. Otherwise, he would have kept his distance after my scathing response the day I’d taken the subway by myself.
Devlin never strays far from my thoughts while I work, and when my shift ends, I pause by the glass doors that lead out of the impressive building. My heart sinks. Dark, angry clouds have overtaken the sky, and it’s pouring.
Keagan, who always insists on meeting me after my shift, is nowhere in the lobby. I chew my bottom lip and pull out my phone. He must be running late. I find a new text message waiting for me. It’s not from Keagan, though, it’s from Devlin. Carter is waiting just outside the doors with an umbrella.
I stare at the text. He is? I lift my gaze and open the door marginally, receiving a face full of dampness from the rain.
Carter stands there with a large umbrella held above his head. He’s dressed in a nice suit, and his expression is polite. “Miss Andrews,” he greets.
As much as I want to be annoyed, I can’t help but be relieved. I nod to him and step outside. Carter moves into place as I leave the overhang, and he holds the umbrella so that I’m sheltered from the rain. We make our way down the many steps that lead to the sidewalk, and I spy the limo at the curb. I know I’d told myself that I’d never set foot in it, but it’s raining terribly and the walk home would be miserable. Besides, Devlin’s proven he’s not going to hurt me, so what harm can it be to allow him to drive me home?
Carter leads me to the limo and opens the door. I quickly duck inside and blink, looking around as I settle onto the long bench seat, brushing droplets of rain off my dark pants. Carter closes the door, and now I’m alone with Devlin.
For a moment, I look around, acquainting myself with the unfamiliar surroundings. There is a single, leather-covered seat that runs the length of the limo, and located across from it is a wet bar. All the windows are tinted, and yet the city streets can still be seen. As I inhale, I note that the scent in the interior is a mixture of Devlin and something else that can only be describe as distinctly expensive.
As the limo pulls away from the curb, I focus on Devlin. He sits a few feet away, looking like a lounging predator as he patiently waits for my full attention. He sets the amber-filled glass he’d been holding on the ledge of the bar, and his eyes stay locked on mine. He points to himself before making an A with his right hand, rotating it clockwise in front of his chest. He’s signing that he’s sorry.
My lips part as I stare at him with amazement. This man, the very one I’d called a monumental asshole earlier, is apologizing in ASL. I’d been hoping he might apologize, but not once had I ever thought he might try to learn ASL. He had to have seen Keagan sometime today. As usual, he’s wearing one of his pricey business suits, which means he’d had to make time to meet with Keagan. I’m still hurt by his actions last night, but his apology eases most of it.
He’s watching me avidly, a slight crinkle on his forehead. He’s waiting to see if I’ll accept his apology. Slowly, my lips curve upwards into a smile, and I nod.
His expression relaxes, and a softness appears in the depths of his eyes. His lips part, and I focus on them. “I am sincerely sorry for my actions last night. Will you accept my offer of dinner to make up for it?”
Dinner? Again? I look at him searchingly, and he stares right back. I’ve grown accustomed to people avoiding eye contact with me when they’re uncomfortable, which is pretty much all the time except with Keagan. But Devlin, he’s the opposite. His eyes will capture mine and hold them captive until he’s ready to release me. It’s new, and for some reason, I really like that he’s not put off by deafness.
He’s waiting for my answer, and I wet my lips and nod.
His eyes had sharpened and focused on my mouth, and something stirs within me. Devlin makes me feel like a woman—a full-grown woman. I can’t deny that it’s a heady sensation knowing that our attraction is mutual. I draw in a deep breath and exhale, trying to calm my nerves. He makes me nervous, but not in a bad way. I don’t feel scared or intimidated. I feel very aware.
Devlin’s reaching into his suit jacket, and he pulls out the familiar envelope filled with cash. Immediately, my hackles rise. He’s going to ruin this moment by bringing up the money? Wait. Why does he have it in the first place? He’d left it with Keagan last night.
When Devlin notes my confusion, he says, “I will respect your wishes and accept the money that you are so…kindly returning,” he says. The look on his face is one of dry sarcasm, but not accusing.
Once again, I’m momentarily at a loss. He’s accepting the money? I’m thrilled, and I quickly dig into my purse and pull out my phone. I text, Will you accept the credit card, too?
Devlin has his phone out, and he glances at it before giving me a pointed look. “Don’t push it.”
I let it go, because I’ve already won one battle. The card can be dealt with another day.
“Are you enjoying your job at the library?” he inquires.
Devlin is the last person I’d thought to see this evening. It’s a little unexpected being whisked through the city in a limo, but it’s also kind of nice. I warn myself that he’s a dangerous man and to tread carefully, but having a conversation with him won’t hurt anything. Nor will having dinner together. If anything, maybe I’ll be able to find out what it is that he truly wants.
I drop my eyes to my phone. I enjoy my job very much.
He reads my text and nods. “Good.” He frowns as his phone lights up, and he glances at me. “I have a quick call to take.”
I nod and turn my attention to the tinted windows. Part of me wants to watch his lips to eavesdrop, but I won’t. Instead, I watch as we drive through water-logged Manhattan. It might be wise to buy an umbrella and check the weather forecast in the mornings from now on.
As the city passes by, I realize we’re headed to his hotel. I’m correct with my assumption when the tall skyscraper comes into view, and the limo pulls into the underground parking garage.
Carter helps me from the limo, and then the private elevator whisks Devlin and me up to penthouse. The moment we step into the large room with the beautiful windows, I smell something delicious permeating the air. Devlin slips off his suit jacket, setting it carelessly on the bar before motioning for me to come with him.
At the very end of the private bar is a door that had been hidden from view, and he escorts me into an amazing kitchen and dining room.
Everything is immaculate and modern. The cupboards, counters, and tiles are all dark, and the appliances are top of the line stainless steel. Adjacent to the large, well-equipped kitchen is the dining room. A black table with a gleaming surface is situated before large windows. The sizable, bold, abstract painting hanging on the far wall holds no competition compared to the show mother nature is putting on outside. As if physically drawn to the window, I cross the floor and stand directly before it as lightening streaks across the sky. I love storms. I don’t know if it’s because I can’t hear them, or if it’s just the beauty of nature at its finest, but I’m fascinated by them.
There’s no denying that the penthouse view is spectacular. I could stand here for hours and simply watch the storm clouds angrily unfurling above Manhattan’s skyline.
When I finally recall that I am a guest in someone’s home, I turn from the window. Devlin doesn’t seem to mind my distracted state as he pulls out two wine glasses from a cupboard and pours wine into them.
I glance at the table. While I’d been watching the storm, he’d placed two plates kitty-corner from each other. The plates are loaded with juicy steaks, fancy potatoes, and some sort of vegetable as a side. Beside each plate are bowls containing freshly tossed salads.
Devlin approaches and sets the wine glasses down before politely pulling out a chair for me.
I carefully sink down onto it and slip my purse off my shoulder. After I take out my phone, Devlin takes the purse and sets it on the counter in the kitchen. I drop my eyes back to the food and gleaming kitchenware. This is very much outside my comfort zone, but at least we’re not in the middle of a five-star restaurant. I can handle this.
I patiently wait until Devlin takes his seat, and I watch as he opens the buttons at his throat. He then unfastens his shirt cuffs before rolling up his sleeves, showing off his tanned, strong forearms.
His eyes suddenly lift to mine, catching me staring. He smiles, and it’s the first genuine smile I’ve ever seen from him, and it takes my breath away. “Dig in, you must be hungry,” he says.
I want to tell him that the food looks delicious, but he’s picked up his fork and is politely waiting for me to take the first bite. Picking up my phone would ruin the moment, so instead, I smile my gratitude and pick up my own fork.
The meal is wonderful, and Devlin seems content to eat in silence as we enjoy our food and watch the spectacular lightening show. When we’re finished, Devlin rises to his feet and begins to clear off the table.
His eyes catch mine. “Take your wine and relax in the main room. I’ll be in shortly,” he suggests.
Tonight’s the first time I’ve ever had wine, and I find that I like it. Without further prompting from Devlin, I stand and take my wine and phone to the main room. The expansive windows call to me, and I stand before them, feeling oddly relaxed. The domineering side of Devlin naturally causes tension between us, but when he’s relaxed the tension eases, and I can concentrate on his company rather than trying to predict his next move. Don’t get me wrong, the sexual tension is still there, but I’ve got a firm grip on it. I think.
Devlin enters the room a moment later. I’m expecting him to announce he’s taking me home until he motions to one of the white sofas, signaling that he’d like to talk.
I carefully settle on the sofa. For once, I’m thankful for the burgundy blouse and dark pants that I’d worn to the library. The nice clothing isn’t really my cup of tea, so to speak. But I’d be feeling more out of sorts if I were in my usual jeans and sneakers.
Devlin takes a seat a few feet away from me, and I get the impression he’s being careful not to do or say anything that would make me feel uncomfortable, and I appreciate that. I wait to see what he has to say, because I’m still not certain why I’m here.
“I think we started off on the wrong foot,” he says.
I arch an eyebrow, my expression saying, Oh really. I never would have guessed.
His lips tilt upwards in the corners. “That right there is exactly why you’re here right now.”
I look at him with confusion. What does he mean by that?
“Your lack of filter. It’s refreshing,” he clarifies.
He’s opening up to me, and I’m not about to waste it. I lift my phone and then frown at the wine glass in my left hand. Where am I supposed to put this? I sense Devlin shifting, and I look up to see that he’s moved closer, his hand held out for the wine. I flash him a smile and give him my glass before I begin typing, Doesn’t anyone ever tell you no?
Devlin holds my glass with his left hand and uses his other to pull his phone out so he can read my response. His lip curls, and something dark stirs in his gaze when his eyes meet mine. “No. I make the rules, people follow them.”
My eyes narrow.
Amusement trickles into his gaze. “Obviously, you don’t. I kind of like it.”
So that’s why I’m here? Because you can’t control me? I send.
He glances briefly at his phone, and when his eyes return to mine, his brow quirks sardonically. “I’m finding that I don’t want to control you, Charli Andrews. Keep you safe, yes. Control you? No.”
Something’s changed since the last time I’d been here. Before, he’d expected me to do his bidding, but not anymore. I can see it in his eyes and body language. I wonder what’d brought on the change. I chew my bottom lip and send, So I’m here to…what?
Devlin’s eyes lock on mine. “I want to get to know you, Charli.”
I stare at him with puzzlement. He wants to get to know me? That’s it? That’s what he’s been trying to do? That doesn’t make sense.
His mouth twists, and the earlier humor fades. “I’m going to let you in on a little secret, Charli. I’m not accustomed to…getting to know people. I don’t have friends, I have employees. I’m used to getting what I want without putting effort into it. That’s the way it’s been my entire life.” A muscle throbs in his jaw, and the familiar look of detachment is edging across his features. “So this is me, the real me, trying to get to know you. I don’t do idle chit-chat. I’ve never been a fan of it, but I’m finding that conversation is how you get to know someone when sex isn’t involved. This is new to me, so I’m going to fuck up here and there. You’re forewarned.”
A few weeks ago, I would have had a tough time believing him, but I think he’s serious. He has everything he could ever want, and what he doesn’t have, he just takes. It’s beginning to sink in that he doesn’t have ulterior motives after all—because no man would go through all this just to pull one over on someone like myself. If he were going to send me away overseas, or lure me into sexual slavery, he would have done so by now.
For the first time since I’d met him, I am seeing Devlin Kade in a new light. He wants what he’s never had, and I have a feeling that ‘want’ is for someone to be real with him, to see the man behind the name.
Judging from his expression, he’s struggling with the vulnerability of laying all his cards out on the table. He’s exposed to the possibility of someone’s criticism, and I know that if I took advantage of this moment to take his arrogance down a peg, he’d part ways with me permanently. My life would be my own again.
I can’t do it, though. I slowly drop my eyes to my phone and send, So you want my friendship? What if I’m not willing to give it? It’s imperative that I see how he reacts before I decide how to handle this conversation.
His face remains perfectly composed. “Then you’re not willing. If that’s the case, I would ask that you remain at the apartment for the remainder of the lease and keep Keagan in your life. I will stay out of it—completely.”
I think over his statement. He would continue being my benefactor but remain on the outskirts of my life. This whole setup is so strange, but it’s also beginning to make sense. He’d seen someone he wanted to save, so that’s what he’s doing. His methods have been off-putting, but in his mind, he’s just taking matters into his own hands, like does with his businesses and…organization.
Shit.
The man isn’t just a businessman. He’s a criminal. How could I forget that? My eyes remain on his, and I try to sort out who the real Devlin Kade is. He’s sitting directly in front of me, but does he lean more towards the shadiness of running an organization, or is he just a man that wants to be seen for who he really is—whatever that may be. There’s no denying that there’s a darkness to him. It’s rooted deep within, but when he looks at me, I don’t see a man that’s trying to conquer someone. There’s no deception in his gaze.
He’s waiting for my reply, and I look down at my phone and hesitate. Then, I follow my instinct. I can try being your friend, but it’s a two-way street. Give and take from both sides, I send.
Devlin reads the text. “Do you believe a friendship is what we’re developing?”
My eyebrows pull together, and I send, Isn’t that what you want?
A glimmer of heat stirs in his gaze. “Charli, we have a lot more going on than just the beginnings of friendship.”
Is he referring to the mutual attraction? I may not be familiar with desire, but I know full well that’s the root of the tension between us. A month ago, I would have thought this to be an ugly joke at my expense, but I know it isn’t. He truly wants…me.
Devlin’s lips move, and I focus on them. “Does that scare you?” he asks as his eyes remain transfixed on mine.
Yes, I mouth to him.
I recognize a hint of concern. “That’s certainly not my intention, but we can’t continue ignoring the elephant in the room.”
Before I begin thinking of things that could get me in a fair amount of trouble, I need to ask exactly what he wants so that there’s no confusion. I text him the question and wait for his response.
Tonight, he is patient with our conversation and unhurried as he glances at his phone every so often. “I’m not looking to put a label on what we’re building. I’d prefer to let it play out as it may. No expectations, no disappointments.”
My head is spinning from this conversation. A simmering heat has developed low in my stomach, and I find myself wanting to squirm just thinking about being intimate with him. Instead of focusing on my emotions, I concentrate on gathering as much information as I can. I type, You want sex.
Devlin glances at his phone and his mouth tilts into a sexy smile that nearly takes my breath away. When the man smiles, he’s stunning. “I do, but not until you want to.” His gaze turns serious. “Charli, I want to get to know you. If things gradually take a turn towards the bedroom, I’m all for it. Is it expected? No.”
My eyebrows pull together as I process our conversation. I’m quite certain no woman has ever made him wait. He probably only has to say one or two words and clothes drop. He’d already admitted that he doesn’t need to put effort into…anything. I text, Why me?
“Why not you?” he redirects.
I blink, frowning.
His eyes never leave mine as he says, “Charli, you are an interesting woman in a very delectable package. You’re brave, direct, you fight for what you believe in, and your innocence is profoundly refreshing and attractive.”
A rush of heat flushes through my body. I type, If we have sex, I am no longer innocent, I feel the need to point out.
Devlin scans the comment on his phone and acknowledges it with a nod. “Correct, but not entirely.” His head cocks as his eyes burn into mine. “Are you a virgin, Charli?”
Okay, so I enjoy direct people, but that was a little too direct, and I don’t feel that he needs an answer to his question tonight. I text, That is none of your business.
His eyes drop to his phone and lift again. “Duly noted. I’m not going to lie, your innocence draws me, but it’s not just the physical aspect. You don’t wear a façade or lie. You’re genuine. Charli, you aren’t tainted by the harshness of the world. Compared to me, you’re innocent whether you turn into a hellion in bed or not.”
My eyes search his intently. Is that what he’s hoping for? That beneath my reserved exterior I’ll be wild in bed? That’s a lot of pressure to live up to—if we ever reach that point.
Devlin must read my doubts. He lifts my wine glass and deliberately puts his mouth where my lips had just been earlier. My thighs press together instinctively as I watch him drink the rest of the wine, his tanned throat swallowing the burgundy liquid until it’s gone. Then, as his he lowers the glass, his eyes hold mine. “Charli, no expectations. And just a reminder, if I like the idea of your innocence, I’m clearly turned on by taking the lead—every damned time if that’s what you prefer. I like control, it’s certainly not going to be a hardship in bed.”
Oh God. I can’t believe we are sitting here casually discussing the possibility of future sexcapades in his bed. I also don’t want him jumping to the conclusion that I’m a prude or incapable of having a personality in the sack. I narrow my eyes on him and text, I don’t want to be controlled in bed.
His lips curve upwards into a knowing smile. “You might just enjoy it.”
I hurriedly send, Maybe I want to do the controlling.
His eyes hook on mine, and something glimmers in them. “We can always fight it out in bed, I’m not opposed to a little wrestling. Could be fun.”
My lips part, and I hide how much he’s turning me on. We are getting way off track here, and I’m desperate to switch the topic to something that doesn’t involve sex. I need time to think, and I can’t do that when he’s around. Nothing can be considered until I’m back at the apartment with my head on straight.
He flashes me a devilish grin. “You just tell me what you want when we get to that point, and we’ll see what we can do to make us both happy.”
I calmly pick up my phone to reply. First, I don’t jump into bed with strangers. Secondly, I’m not even certain you and I are capable of friendship. Let’s focus on one thing at a time and go from there.
Devlin nods. “Agreed.” His eyes shift, and he glances out the windows. My back is to them, and I turn and look too. The sky has calmed, and when I face him once more, his lips begin moving. “I should see you home. I think we both have plenty to think upon.”
I nod in agreement and gracefully rise to my feet.
Devlin puts his phone to his ear and says something as he turns away and walks to the wet bar, setting the empty wine glass down. When he’s finished speaking into the phone, he unrolls his sleeves and slips on the suit jacket that he’d left on the bar earlier. He turns to me and says, “Aiden will be waiting for us with the car.”
He escorts me out of the penthouse and to the private elevator. Soon, we’re sitting in the limo as we make our way through the city. I’m very much aware of Devlin sitting beside me, and I text, Thank you for dinner. It was wonderful. I show him my phone so that he doesn’t have to pull his own out.
Devlin reads the text and focuses his attention back on me. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”
Curious, I text, Did you make the meal yourself?
He shakes his head, his expression rueful. “I order out most of the time. I thought about hiring a personal cook, but I don’t enjoy having others in my personal space.”
No maid? I can’t resist texting.
“No, no maid. I clean up after myself.” He quirks an eyebrow. “Does that surprise you?”
I shake my head. No, it doesn’t. He thrives on control, so it would make sense that he keeps his private home secure without anyone wandering around as they please.
Everything within me goes still when I catch sight of his eyes focused on my mouth. Instinctively, my lips part as if inviting him to make a move. It wasn’t my intention, but as he leans in—giving me plenty of time to turn my head away—I find myself wanting the kiss. It’s been such an eye-opening evening, and I am comfortable enough to allow him a taste.
It’s not until his warm lips touch mine that I suddenly doubt myself. I’ve never kissed anyone, not willingly. What if I disappoint him? All my worries fade as his lips move across mine, and my eyelashes drift closed.
When his tongue seductively teases the seam of my lips, I part them and allow him to deepen the kiss as my heart pounds in my chest. The only part of him touching me is his mouth, and I know he’s being careful not to draw me into his arms or give the impression that he’s trying to control this.
A little piece of the wall that I’d built around myself when he’s around begins to crumble as his tongue skillfully strokes mine, urging me to respond instead of demanding it. I tilt my head as our tongues dance, and tingles settle low in my stomach. My first kiss, and it’s blowing my mind.
When Devlin’s lips leave mine, I instinctively swallow and lean back, my eyelashes fluttering open. I find him watching me intently with hooded eyes. He looks pleased by how I’d responded, and I lick my lips, tasting him. Those eyes fasten on my mouth, and I think he’s going to kiss me again.
At that moment, the limo comes to a stop. We’ve arrived at the apartment building.
I watch his chest rise as if he’s drawing in a deep breath before exhaling. “I will walk you to your door,” he tells me.
I nod just as the door opens. Aiden, a dark-haired man in a suit, helps me out. Then, Devlin steps out onto the sidewalk and puts a hand to the small of my back, escorting me into the building.
The elevator ride is tense, but in a good way. The look he gives me reveals that he’d like to take advantage of the privacy, but he’s going to refrain from it because of the newness of our…relationship. Would we even call it a relationship yet? Devlin had said that he didn’t want to put a label on it, and suddenly, I have a new thought. If I cave and explore sex with him, I won’t tolerate him seeing other women. The idea of him jumping from someone else’s bed only to have me in his would be extremely off-putting.
I start as Devlin invades my personal space—but only to reach out and brush his knuckle across my cheek. His eyes capture mine. “Stop thinking so much. There’ll be plenty of time to talk further.”
I nod, realizing that I must easily wear my emotions on my face. Keagan seems to read me just as easily.
Behind Devlin’s back, the elevator doors open. He backs away and politely motions for me to enter the hallway first, and we exit the elevator and walk down the hall. After I pull my keys from my purse, I turn to him, suddenly feeling awkward.
Much to my surprise, he lightly touches my arm and leans forward, pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead. He pulls back and says, “Goodnight, Charli.”
Night, I mouth.
He nods, his eyes holding mine a moment longer before he turns and walks down the hall to the elevator.
Holy crap.
I have a lot to think about tonight. Something tells me I’m not going to be falling asleep until the wee hours of morning.