* * *
Two nights later, I’m conscious of the phone tucked behind my pillow as I lie in the darkness, unable to sleep. I’m going to dream of him tonight, I know I will. He’s a familiar face in my dreams, and when I wake in the morning, my body aches. Too many times, I’ll wake and reach for the phone, yearning to text him—to have some sort of contact with him.
I’d assured Devlin that I’d stay in the apartment for the duration of the pre-paid lease, but if I’m ever going to get over him, I need to distance myself from him completely.
I’ve been doing a lot of contemplating, and it’s time to find a new apartment and buy my own phone—one that Devlin isn’t tracking. As much as I don’t want to part ways with Keagan either, it must be done. I can’t continue living this suspended reality where Devlin is always there on the outskirts of my life—waiting for me to make a move, or he’s inevitably checking in with Keagan to make certain everything in my life is going accordingly. I still want Keagan in my life, but only as a friend, not as a hired companion. I know I have an uphill battle ahead of me, because both Keagan and Devlin are going to balk over the idea, but my mind has been made.
I need to be me. The me that I’ve always been. But I can’t if others are continuously making decisions for me.
For a while, I toss and turn, glancing every so often at the alarm clock on the table next to the bed. It’s past two in the morning. I wish there was some way to calm all the thoughts relentlessly swirling around inside my head. With another frustrated sigh, I turn onto my back and glare up at the ceiling. If I don’t fall asleep soon, I’m going to be a zombie tomorrow.
Suddenly, a bright flash briefly blinds me as the floor and bed shudder. Before I can process what’s happening, something heavy crashes down upon me and immediately blocks everything from view.
I lie there, pinned to the mattress as I sense more debris falling around me. Dust infiltrates my lungs, and I cough with stunned amazement. What the hell was that? I try to move my hand so that I can bring it to my face, but I’m thoroughly pinned. Whatever had fallen on me is huge and flat. Maybe a large piece of ceiling? It feels like I’m buried alive, and I strain to lift my head, but my forehead meets a solid surface. I blink my eyes, and they sting as small particles of dust seep into them.
All I see is blackness.
I open my mouth and yell for Keagan with all my might, but the scent of smoke and swirling debris in the air causes me to cough. My heart is pounding frantically within my chest as I wiggle my feet, testing my limbs. They’re all functioning, thank God.
I don’t like the sensation of being pinned, but panicking isn’t going to get me out of this mess. I struggle to breathe as the weight on top of me seems to become heavier with each passing second. Something is burning nearby, and the scent of smoke is growing thicker. Is the building on fire?
“Keagan!” I scream. I’m not certain how loud my voice is, but I’m hoping he can hear me. Then, doubt fills me. If it was an explosion, there’s a chance that Keagan was hurt in the blast. I send up a prayer, hoping that he’s fine and trying to reach me. I scream his name a few more times and struggle against the large slab of ceiling. It’s not budging, and my nails are breaking as I futilely push at it.
I turn my head and squint, trying to grasp what’s happening around me. An eerie orange glow is flickering in the darkness, and my unease intensifies. I’m trapped, and there’s a possibility I might burn to death in this bed. My heart constricts over the knowledge, because I have yet to experience all the things in life that I would like. I was supposed to have years to find myself, to become the independent woman that I long to be. I’ve only had a taste of it, and it’s not enough. I want more. I want…
Devlin’s handsome face flashes in my mind, and I close my eyes as they sting with tears. The thought of never seeing him again brings more pain to my chest than the thought of dying.
I’m suddenly seeing our relationship with more clarity than I ever have before. We have a connection—one that I can no longer deny. There’s a vulnerability inside him that makes me want to prove that I see him. That I accept him. Despite that, all I’ve done is reject him because of what he does. I’ve made mistakes with him, and if I die tonight, I’ll never have a chance to right them.
With renewed determination, I open my mouth and scream for Keagan as I desperately push against the chunk of ceiling mercilessly trapping me to the bed. Sweat begins to bead across my forehead. It’s becoming hot in the bedroom, and it’s not from my exertion and fear. There’s definitely a fire, and it’s nearby.
Suddenly, the slab shifts as if someone’s trying to lift it off me.
Keagan!
I push with all my might, and it begins to inch its way upwards. I grit my teeth and continue pushing until I have enough room to possibly ease out from beneath it. When it feels secure, and I’m certain it isn’t going to crash down upon me, I tentatively release it and roll off the mattress, dropping to the floor.
I quickly maneuver around to face the bed, and through the orange glow from nearby flames, a masculine body lets the large piece of ceiling crash back down onto the bed.
The acrid smoke tickles my throat, and as I cough, the figure leans over me. It’s Keagan. He’s shirtless, the glow of the flames flickering across his bare skin. He grabs my arm, tugging me towards the doorway. As I stumble after him, I look up and stare. The ceiling has collapsed in places, leaving gaping holes where I can see flames inside the apartment above ours.
I’m not watching where I’m going, and I trip over debris and fall to the floor. Keagan quickly kneels beside me, his fingers digging into my sides as he physically scoots me across the floor. The smoke is thick, and as Keagan urges me forward, I begin to crawl as my lungs shudder, longing for clean air.
We reach the hallway, and Keagan presses his hand against my butt, forcing me in the direction of the kitchen. I recall that this side of the building doesn’t have a fire escape. We’ll have to get to the stairwell on the east side of the building.
I quickly move into action and begin crawling. The hallway is dark and filled with bitter smoke, and I can see a hint of orange in the far corner of the ceiling. The fire is spreading!
We reach the kitchen and scuttle to the French door. I balk in the doorway, frozen. Keagan plows right into me from behind, and my face almost connects with the floor. I catch myself in time and stare at the sight before us, my heart skipping a beat.
A portion of the apartment above had crashed down into the room, and there’s fire spreading across the large chunks of debris. We can’t get out through the apartment door, it’s blocked.
Without warning, Keagan yanks me back into the kitchen and pushes firmly on my shoulders, signaling that I’m to stay put for a second.
The smoke is aggravating my lungs, and I cough into my hands as I watch Keagan rush through the haze to the kitchen sink. What is he doing? We need to get to the window in the bathroom or his bedroom before it’s too late.
Keagan drops down by me a second later and presses a damp dishtowel against my nose and mouth. I gratefully press it to my face, and it provides some relief from the smoky air.
I wait as Keagan goes back for his own towel, and then we’re crawling back down the hallway. My eyes remain upwards as he helps guide me towards his bedroom. The ceiling is on fire, and the flames are furiously licking at it. This whole place is going to go up in flames in a matter of minutes. Even behind the damp towel, my lungs still tickle, and I cough.
The second we make it into Keagan’s room, he shoves the door closed and drags me to the window. I clamber to my feet as he pushes the window upwards before slamming his fist into the screen, sending it tumbling out into the night.
I peer around his shoulder, removing the towel to inhale the clean air as I gaze at the sight eleven stories below. There are multiple firetrucks and emergency vehicles.
Keagan’s waving his arms, and I can tell he’s yelling for help. Smoke is streaking past us and unfurling into the night. It’s tainting the precious air, and I put the towel back in place over my nose. I watch avidly as one of the firetrucks seems to be maneuvering itself into position down below. Three firemen are at the helm of a long ladder attached to the truck. It’s beginning to lift upwards, pointing towards our window.
We might just get out of this alive after all.
Feeling an increase of heat, I turn my head and stare at Keagan’s bedroom door. It’s engulfed in flames, and the ceiling is on fire in the far corner. I grab Keagan’s bicep, and he turns and looks at the flames.
He quickly pulls me close to his chest, pushing me in front of him so that I am closest to the window, his body shielding me from the heat and flames behind us.
Tears streak down my cheeks from the sting of the smoke and the fact that Keagan is willing to risk his life to keep the flames from me. With my free hand, I clutch his forearm, squeezing it. We’re in this together.
It’s as if the ladder is lengthening in slow motion, and it takes forever for it to reach our window. A fireman is quickly climbing up it, and when he reaches us, I can see his mouth moving, but I don’t understand what he’s saying. Keagan’s chest is pressed firmly against my back, and it’s vibrating—indicating that he’s speaking to the fireman.
The fireman reaches for me, urging me to inch my way out the window. Under normal circumstances, I’d be frightened of climbing out at this height, but the fireman represents safety. I drop the towel from my face, and Keagan helps me shift as I put a foot on the windowsill. The fireman leans in closer and grips me firmly around the waist as he guides me onto the ladder.
Once there, I begin to cough as I clutch at him, worried that I might fall. He shifts me in his arms and begins easing down the ladder backwards. My eyes dart to Keagan, and he’s still in the window, covering his nose and mouth as smoke pours out around him. Orange is flickering behind him, and yet he still lifts a hand and gives me a thumbs-up.
I grab the nearest rung on the ladder, alarmed that he’s not following. Keagan motions for me to continue going down, and I shake my head. “No! Go back!” I yell to the fireman, using my voice.
The fireman gives me a reassuring squeeze and begins backing down the ladder, causing me to release the ladder rung. As much as I want to yell that this isn’t fair, I let him carry me down the ladder at a slow, steady pace. The sooner he releases me, the faster he can go back up for Keagan.
As soon as we reach the bottom, a different fireman begins racing up the ladder to Keagan. Even as I’m maneuvered off the firetruck and set on a stretcher, my eyes remain glued to Keagan. He’s climbing out the window, and the fireman is helping him onto the ladder.
I breathe a sigh of relief even as a coughing fit overtakes me, and a female paramedic promptly slips an oxygen mask over my nose and mouth. The fresh oxygen is a relief, but then I find myself being wheeled towards a waiting ambulance.
I quickly sit up, motioning that I don’t want to go anywhere. I need to stay and make certain that Keagan’s okay.
The paramedic’s partner is a man, and he says something to her before he begins checking my vitals. They don’t try to load me into the ambulance again, so I’m certain they understand that I’m declining hospital treatment.
I’m content to sit on the stretcher, a hand holding the oxygen mask to my face while I watch Keagan as he’s guided down the ladder. Another set of paramedics are waiting for him, but the second his bare feet touch the ground, he brushes past them and makes a beeline for me.
I open my arms when he reaches me, and he hugs me tightly even as his shoulders shake from his coughing. A blanket is quickly wrapped around us, reminding me that Keagan is clad in just a pair of boxers, and I’m only wearing the tank and panties I’d gone to bed in.
I squeeze my eyes tightly, pressing my cheek against his sweaty chest as we both shake from the coughs wracking his strong body. He saved my life tonight.
We made it.