The Passing of Time
Amanda learned first-hand just how quickly the months could fly. Christmas came and went, the bitter cold of January and February gave way to the early warmth of spring. March was marginally better, but as the month edged towards April, the air was warmer, the sun hotter, the days longer.
At six months, her belly popped. It went from being flat to a little ridge. As the weeks crawled by, the baby grew and grew. Three weeks away from her due date, Amanda wondered if she could get any larger. She didn’t exactly feel as big as a house, but she was getting there.
She stood in their new, larger bedroom, the additions to the cabin having finally been completed just the week before, trying to do up the button on her jeans. She could barely see the damn thing, so it made hitting the hole difficult.
She was still wearing regular clothes, though she’d had to use the larger sizes she’d picked out all the months ago when they’d gone to the city for their first ultrasound.
“Where is my hair elastic?” Her voice lingered in the silent, empty room.
Amanda turned, searching for the black hair tie she had just used the night before. She was sure she’d put it on the edge of her dresser. She glanced around, not seeing it. Finally she thought to look down and sure enough there it was, right by the dresser’s leg.
“Testing me today, are we?” She nearly laughed at the fact that she was talking out loud, to her hair tie.
She bent slowly, using her knees as her waist no longer functioned properly. She could still see her feet, but everyday tasks like shaving her legs and putting on her shoes were getting harder and harder to accomplish.
Her fingers closed around the hair tie. “Gotcha.” She stood triumphantly, holding her prize between her fingers. She deftly slid the hair tie through the buttonhole of her jeans, made a loop and slipped the other end over the button. It gave her that extra inch in her waist band that she really needed right below her belly. She’d seen the trick on one of the baby forums she was a part of.
Now that she was dressed, Amanda tidied up the room. She made the bed. She’d woken alone, but then again, it was late. She had trouble falling asleep at night and staying asleep. She was never more thankful for their brand new bathroom and indoor plumbing. Having to pee eight times a night out in the cold outhouse would have been awful. As it was, she’d been spoiled for the past three months.
It turned out she didn’t even mind their composting toilet. Jason had been right. It wasn’t at all gross.
The sound of the front door opening and shutting firmly announced Jason’s arrival for a breakfast she hadn’t yet made.
“Amanda?”
“In here,” she responded. She left the clothes on the floor that she’d been about to pick up and walked quickly down the hall to the kitchen.
Jason was already putting the kettle on the stove and pulling out the cast iron frying pan. They now had a fridge, not just a hole cut into the floor to keep things cold, but he preferred the old wood stove. The truth was, she did too, and it kept the house warm and cozy even with the additions added on.
“How did you sleep?” Jason asked. He pulled the carton of eggs and the tub of margarine out of the fridge.
“Sorry. I should be making this. You’re always up so early, out doing things.”
“That’s alright. You’re already doing the most important job in the world.”
“What’s that? Lying in bed for half the morning?”
“Carrying our son.”
She grinned. “Yah, I know. I still feel bad though. The least I could do is get breakfast made before it’s almost lunch.”
“A little fasting never killed anyone. Gets the juices flowing so I’m good and hungry for brunch, or lunch if you don’t get up before noon.”
Amanda playfully swatted Jason’s shoulder. He nearly dropped the carton of eggs.
“Whoa there. The last thing I want is to have to cook us breakfast and clean up the kitchen.”
“I can do it, if you don’t think you can handle it.”
“Oh, I can handle it.” Jason rolled his eyes. “Just sit down. You look tired.”
“I feel okay.”
“You have dark circles under your eyes.”
Ever since the pregnancy scare where they thought they were losing the baby, Jason watched Amanda like a hawk. She watched herself just as closely. Though they lived a normal life, though they were happy, their optimism for the baby was carefully guarded. Some days she felt like the minute they placed her son into her arms would be the first moment she could actually believe he was well and whole and truly there. She knew that even through the birth, things could go wrong.
“Yah. Sorry. I was up all night. This kid was kicking the living tarnation out of me.”
“Don’t apologize. Sleep deprived or not, you’re still easily the most beautiful woman on the planet. I’m not going to lie, I could actually feel those kicks in my back so I can’t imagine how much worse it was from the inside out.”
“Oh my god.” Amanda giggled then slapped a hand over her mouth. “Most beautiful woman in the world.” She rolled her eyes. “I seriously doubt that at this point.”
“Don’t doubt it. Don’t ever doubt it.”
Jason’s eyes shone with the most beautiful sincerity and Amanda was especially touched. She didn’t know if she could have found her own self beautiful at the moment, but Jason’s love for her had never once wavered.
He went back to making breakfast, heating the frying pan, spreading margarine and cracking eggs into the pan. After that he actually got out the toaster and made a few slices of golden bread without burning them. The toaster wasn’t exactly his forte. He’d lived so long without modern conveniences he’d nearly forgotten how to use them.
“Did you call your mom? Did she say when she’s coming?”
“Yah. I did. She’s going to be here tomorrow. Probably in the afternoon. She said she had some news for me.”
“That’s good or bad?”
“I think good. She sounded excited.”
“What do you think it is?”
Amanda shrugged. “Honestly I think she’s going to sell the house. She’s been renting out the land for years, but I don’t think she wants to keep the place up all by herself. I think she wants to be closer now that she’s going to be a grandma.”
“That’s fine by me. I think we are going to be able to use all the help we can get.”
“Hey!” Amanda scrunched her nose up indignantly.
Jason set a plate of eggs and toast and a steaming mug of decaf coffee in front of her. His shoulders shook with silent mirth.
“I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just that you keep giving me all this reading to do and the more I do, the more scared I am of everything that’s going to come. They say being a parent isn’t rocket science, but I’m not entirely sure that they’re right on that one.”
“I know.” Amanda dug into her scrambled eggs. “Oh wow. These are good. Nice and fluffy.”
“And you doubted my skill.”
“Never.”
Amanda waited until Jason was done with his breakfast before she broached the topic that had been on the forefront of her mind. She was almost afraid to ask, since it virtually meant the end of their privacy.
“So, if my mom did sell her place, would you be okay with her coming to live here? I mean, maybe not in the small cabin. I was thinking that since we have so much land, maybe we could build a second road that extends from the driveway and goes into the woods a ways and we could put a cabin there for her. Nothing big. I mean, like, away from us, but close enough that she could be helpful. That way she would have her privacy and so would we. I just… she can pay us, for the land and the cabin. She hasn’t asked me this, but I wanted to ask you first before I even considered talking to her about it. Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself. Maybe she isn’t even selling her place. I don’t even know yet.”
Jason grinned. “You are aware that you’re out of breath from such a long question?”
She had to smile. Even though she was done with her breakfast, she picked up her fork and toyed with it, running it back and forth silently over her empty plate.
“I’m aware. You can tell me if you think it’s a bad idea. Honestly. I won’t hold it against you. I can’t imagine you’d be keen on having your mother in law so close or giving up our own little piece of heaven to an intruder.”
“You actually think that I would call your mother an intruder?”
Amanda stared back at Jason, wide eyed. She finally realized he wasn’t at all offended when his lips quirked up. “I don’t know. I hope not. I just want you to tell me what you think. If you don’t like the idea, I get it. There are probably lots of properties for sale around here.”
“No, it makes sense. I like the idea, what you said. I’ve been debating the idea myself, what to do with all this land. I’ve deforested some for firewood, but it really isn’t good for anything given that it’s so rocky and tough. You can’t grow anything. I don’t know that anyone would really want to buy it. I like it in its natural state too, so I would be fine with leaving most of it.”
“So what does that mean? Yes you’re okay with my idea or no you’re not?”
“Yes, I’m fine with it. If it’s what you want and what your mom wants, we can probably have her a cabin built within the next six months. She could stay in the small cabin until then, or she could find a temporary place if that doesn’t suit her. I know living without power and indoor plumbing can be hard on people.”
“Like me? Do you think I’m soft now that I’m pampered enough to have a bath that I didn’t have to haul water to make?”
“Not at all. I’ll confess I like the convenience of having an indoor shower once in a while. Beats standing naked outside, sometimes freezing under the water bag, bugs eating you alive.”
“Which is exactly why I never showered. I would rather haul a million buckets of water and crank my arm off with that hand pump than subject myself to that.”
“There was always the creek.”
Amanda shivered just thinking about the cool waters that never seemed to warm up, not even in the high heat of summer.
“I seem to recall you liked watching me enjoy a swim or two there.”
Her fate heated as Jason rose from the table. He cleared away the dishes and put them in their brand new apron front sink. It looked like something straight out of a farm house with its two white basins and solid front. She loved it and thought it fit with the rustic kitchen.
Even their additions were rusting. They’d picked out hand scraped hard wood to give it the worn in look of the plank floors in the other rooms. The siding was all log siding which matched the rest of the cabin, even if it was cheating somewhat.
“I’m sure you’d love designing another place. I know how much you liked picking out sinks and lighting and a new fridge.”
Amanda nodded emphatically. “Yes, I loved it. I know you hated it though, but you stuck with me. If only we’d been so diligent about getting the things for the baby.”
“One step at a time. We still have three weeks. More since they say first babies usually take their time about coming.”
She understood what he was saying. She herself had been reluctant to buy a crib and clothing and all the other things they needed, just in case. In case something happened. She didn’t want to be the one to pack everything up if the worst did indeed come true.
It was probably irrational. There had been no signs since the earlier scare that anything would happen to the pregnancy.
Besides, like Jason said, they still had weeks to go, maybe even a month. And her mother was coming. Everything would be right once her mom was there again.