Preparations
When Amanda politely informed him that he was coming along to help with furniture pick up, he’d given her the token shoulder lift and the good natured grumbling that she’d come to expect. He didn’t want her to see how privately relieved he was that she’d finally made her decisions. He knew she was waiting for the right moment and having her mother back seemed to settle her. The spark of fear that always glistened in her eyes had faded to a glimmer of uncertainty. He wished he could take even that away from her and somehow offer her reassurance, but he couldn’t even take it from himself.
Amanda and her mother sat in the back seat and chatted happily the entire way to Boulder. Jason half listened at first, but he eventually tuned out and just paid attention to the road. He hated the city, but this felt different. He wanted to do this for Amanda and their baby.
“What’s the first stop on that list of yours?” Jason’s eyes scanned the rear view mirror and locked on Amanda’s face for a second as they neared the city. He’d seen her list the night before. There were at least three pages torn out of a notebook filled with addresses, prices and other information.
Amanda listed off an address. “I’ve worked everything out into a route based on time and area of the city so that we don’t have to spend all day running around.”
“That was quite ingenious,” Jason admitted.
“It was my mom’s idea. Everyone was pretty good about pick up and if not I just grouped the other pickups around what worked for people in that area.”
“And of course you have an excellent navigator.”
Amanda and Joan laughed together. “Yes, and an even better furniture lifter, which is going to come in handy for moving that crib and bassinet and book shelf and rocking chair and-”
“How many things does one small kid need?” Jason cut in. He grinned despite himself.
Amanda knew he was just kidding. “A lot. You know that already.”
“From the look of that list you’re getting him the things he needs right until he graduates. Did you put a car on that list? Clothes? Runners? A bad attitude?”
Amanda’s laughter was contagious and soon Jason found himself laughing along. He glanced in the rear view mirror again and this time his eyes met Joan’s.
“I’m just glad you’re here, Joan, to help get everything organized. I feel overwhelmed already and we haven’t even started yet.”
“I’ll always be good for that,” Joan promised. “Amanda and I have already worked out a schedule for what happens if the baby doesn’t sleep well. She’ll take night shifts and I’ll make sure that I’m available during the day for you both to catch up on some sleep if you need it.”
“I think we both feel better having you here,” Jason admitted. “I don’t know how all the other first time parents handle it. Everyone seems to have it all together, at least on all those videos Amanda is always watching.”
“My favorite is the woman in labor and she has all this makeup on and she’s like, giving a tutorial on how to breathe through her contractions. It looks fake. If all that machinery wasn’t in the background, I would say that it was staged.”
“What about the lake one, where that lady has a home birth in the water?”
Amanda gave a gasp of disgust. “Oh, don’t remind me about that one!”
“A lake?” Joan’s brow wrinkled in question.
“Yah. A lake,” Amanda affirmed. “I don’t know who in their right mind would do that. It just made me think of the creek and how cold it would be. That certainly wouldn’t be safe. But the lake? Ew. Why couldn’t they just set up a bathtub inside or one of those swimming pool things?”
“That sounds like a ploy for viewers,” Joan said dryly. “What do you call it? Going viral?”
“Yes,” Amanda giggled. “That’s right mom. Maybe it was. The only thing I know is that it was horrifying. It was like a train wreck. I couldn’t look away until it was finished.”
“I don’t know who would choose a home birth,” Jason admitted. “I like the idea of having doctors and nurses there to help.”
“It isn’t even an option for us. What if something happened? We are way too far away from the hospital to even consider it.” Amanda shuddered.
“Everything will be fine, honey.” Joan put her hand comfortingly on Amanda’s shoulder.
Jason watched how Amanda almost melted with relief. He was more thankful than ever for Joan’s solid, comforting presence. He felt better knowing that there was another woman there, a woman who had been through all this and could walk Amanda through it. He knew he was a poor substitute for the knowledge and experience and love of a mother, no matter how hard he tried to be there for Amanda.
“I think you just missed our turn.”
“Oh. I’ll take the next one.” Jason had been paying attention to the road, but Amanda was right. He’d completely missed the road he was supposed to go down.
His mind was preoccupied, thinking about that stupid lake video. She was right, he shouldn’t have brought that up. It had been more than unsettling. The whole idea of giving birth at home, midwife or not or whatever they were called, was a terrifying one.
He was never more thankful for a hospital in his life than he was when he’d watched that video. It was a relief that Amanda was on the same page. No, home births certainly weren’t for them.