Ryder
I feel in a bad mood. Things are not going to plan with Ashton and it’s making me cranky. I said she could take as long as she needs but my own needs are consuming me and making me think of nothing else. It’s pure hell watching her every day, becoming everything I want in life as she cares for me and my daughter in the most captivating of ways.
She wants to get to know me. Well, if she knew who she had married, she would be running for the hills. I need to prove to her that I’m hers and it’s proving a lot fucking harder than I ever thought it would be.
The guys’ sense I’m off and keep their distance. I’m a difficult son of a bitch at the best of times and the fact I haven’t got laid in days, is sending me off the edge.
Luckily, we have a few distractions to keep my temper in check. When we ride, we have business to sort out and the establishment have fucked up big time and need us to sort out their shit.
The problems we deal with are not the kind they want in the newspapers. The courts would make the wrong decision and the country in chaos if they realized just how fucked up their government is. These guys make many mistakes and don’t want to pay the price. It’s why we live a comfortable life with no fear. What we know would bury them all and every one of them has a dirty little secret they want to protect.
This morning we paid a man a visit who is threatening to blow the lid on a certain Senator who’s dealing in the hard stuff. He wants to protect his perfect image, not to mention his American dream perfect family and respectable life. The guy we took out is scum of the worst kind. A drug lord who deals in misery and pain and is responsible for ruining many innocent lives and not giving a fuck. He lines the streets with white powder and rakes in the money behind him. The courts would have to let him go on a technicality and he would be free to stick his two fingers up to our rules and laws and carry on his disgusting trade.
The greatest pleasure I get is the realization in their eyes when they realize it’s ‘Game Over.’
How I love that look as they quiver under my hand. Their eyes cloud with defeat and their bravado deserts them. As I extinguish them from society, I do so with the support of every poor fucker they have harmed. Retribution is what feeds my soul. I’ve never needed anything else—until now.
Snake interrupts my thoughts as he sits down heavily on the couch in my office.
“Man, I need a drink. That was pretty heavy today.”
I nod. “It sure was. I never like it when they plead for their life and cry like a baby. It’s funny how soft they turn under pressure.”
Snake sighs. “They’ll never learn. Everyone wants to live the dream but do it at the expense of another. Sometimes this job is a hard path to tread.”
Brewer looks weary. “I need to go and get laid. It’s the only place I can forget, deep inside my old lady. She drives the images away and brings me back to reality.”
Snake laughs. “I’m with you there, bro. In fact, I think Bonnie is around somewhere teaching Ashton how to fight - again. They’re at it every day and I’m just surprised you can still walk, Ryder. Bonnie knows some shit that even surprises me. I’m betting Ashton’s getting quite the education.”
I laugh but it’s without humor. Yes, Ashton is learning but she never practices with me. It’s as if she doesn’t want me to lay a hand on her in any way. It’s starting to get to me and yet I don’t know shit about how to change this strange situation we’ve fallen into. I’m used to women fighting to get me to even notice them, let alone feeling me inside them. The only one I want though is Ashton, and she’s proving the biggest challenge of my life.
Snake kicks back his chair and growls. “Fuck this. I need my woman and I couldn’t give a shit if she’s busy.”
Brewer grins “I’m with you, bro. Those women better down whatever they’re doing because they’re about to have the time of their life.”
I roll my eyes. “Keep telling yourself that, Brewer.”
I laugh as he throws a cushion at my head and rushes out to find his woman.
Snake grins. “Come on, you can distract Ashton and give me what I want. With nobody to play with Bonnie will have no excuse not to play with me.”
Sighing inside, I follow him out.
I can hear laughter as we approach Snake’s house. It rings out through the window and places a smile on my face. How sweet that sound is to me. I never thought I would crave a sound more than the happiness of a woman who is fast becoming everything to me.
Snake appears to be a man on a mission and I note the surprise in Bonnie’s eyes as she looks up when we head inside the room. As she sees his face I watch with interest as her expression changes. I see the lust, the desire, the expectation and the need in her face as they connect. No words are spoken just an understanding between two lovers who tread the same path.
Then my gaze switches to Ashton and I suck in my breath. I’ll never get used to the way my world spins when I look into those baby blues. They draw me deep into her soul and hold me captive. I’m a prisoner of my own desire and the fact I have yet to taste the sweetness within, heightens the need.
Bonnie straightens up and smiles at Ashton.
“It appears our session is over for today. By the looks of the two of them, we are needed for a very different kind of workout.”
I smile as Ashton blushes and looks to the floor. Snake grins and I put them out of their misery. I extend my hand towards my wife and say gently.
“Let’s leave them to it, darlin’. I’ve missed you this morning, it will be good to spend some time alone.”
As she takes my hand, I grip it tightly. Snake has already swept Bonnie over his shoulder and is carrying her squealing from the room. Grinning, I pull Ashton away.
As we take the short walk to our house, I feel unsettled. This life I’m living sucks in every way. It’s not only the sweetest time of my life but also the most frustrating. I can’t lie with another while I have such a prize in my sights. I feel a loyalty to the woman holding my hand so tightly and wouldn’t want another even though I know I could. She is silent beside me and I expect she was shocked by Snake’s caveman tactics. It was obvious what he was needing and I expect she finds it a hard sight to see.
No words are spoken as we walk the short distance and by the time we reach the door I’m resigned to an afternoon of small talk and desperation.
The house always feels different when Cassie isn’t here. Big, empty and hollow. Now that Ashton lives here though it feels like home. Maybe we should do something together this afternoon. I could take her out and spend time with her. Maybe a change of scene is just what we both need. It can get very intense in the compound and sometimes it’s good to wallow in real life once in a while to realign the balance.
My mind made up, I throw the keys on the table and turn to face my wife. However, when I look into those eyes, I can see that something is very different.
There is a determination in them that was missing before. She stands tall and proud and the little-lost girl inside her has been replaced with confidence and something else I can’t place.
I look at her with interest and raise my eyes. “Something you wanna say, darlin’?”
She smiles with a wickedness I’ve never seen in her before and I catch my breath as she says in a husky voice.
“It’s time for me to beg.”