“I mean it, Paige. Honestly.”

Gavin’s eyes were like honey. I saw nothing but kindness and sorrow in their beautiful depths.

No mockery.

No deception.

No triumph.

Just sincerity.

Oh my God. What have I done?

All the aggression finally drained out of me. My headache ramped up, pounding behind my eyes and temples. As I predicted earlier, shame hit me like a sledgehammer.

I couldn’t believe the things I’d said to Gavin. The last minutes replayed in my mind, ended, and looped back over again.

And again.

Every nasty word echoed, morphing and becoming a tool to illuminate my corrupted personality. 

I had to make it right, if there was even a possibility for me to do so.

Babbling, I abruptly cried out, “I’m so sorry for everything! I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. I was wrong to be so hateful. I’m so sorry.”

Gavin took my hand in his. He walked us to the conference table and sat on the edge, keeping me between his legs.

“There’s nothing for you to apologize about. You were standing up for yourself, Paige. I would’ve done the same thing in your place. I was wrong to accuse you of trying to get over on me. I should’ve never even thought it. I shouldn’t have backed you into a corner.”

Remembering the disappointment in his eyes, I rushed to clear my name.

“I’m sorry for whatever I did to make you think that way. It wasn’t my intention. Honestly.”

“It was nothing you did. I was…” Gavin’s voice died out. His thumb ran across my fingers, back and forth. I could tell he was nervous. “I was being an ass because I didn’t like you getting angry with me and because I was…insecure…that maybe you didn’t feel the same way I did.”

The pieces clicked but the overall picture didn’t make sense.

“You were testing me?”

A slight flush darkened his gorgeous cheekbones. “As much as I don’t want to admit it but yeah. I was. I don’t know. I just…look, I’m not exactly good with people. I never have been. That’s why I fucked today up so badly.”

“You didn’t—”

“Ssh. Let me finish or this is going to eat me up inside, Paige.” Gavin waited until I reluctantly nodded. “I don’t mean to hurt people, not usually anyways. My initial intent today wasn’t to push you away on purpose but looking back I see that I did.”

I wasn’t in any position to ask him questions. His reasons for doing it were his own. His apology was enough and far more than I ever expected.

“It’s okay.”

Gavin groaned. He leaned forward and bumped his head against mine.

“I’m trying so hard to make this right and you’re being such a saint about it. Don’t you want to throw something at me or slap me or something?”

“No,” I whispered, horrified at the thought of knowing that just a few minutes ago I actually did. “I’d never want to hurt you on purpose. Not in my right mind anyways.”

“Even though I try your patience.”

His attempt at levity only brought me further sadness.

“Nothing you could ever say would excuse my behavior if I did something like that to you. I’m sorry. I…”

My voice trailed off. I wanted to tell him I attacked him first because I was scared the sweetness of last night had been a lie.

As if I had the right to judge anyone for being untruthful.

How will I ever be what he deserves me to be? I’m not capable of it because I’m such an emotional swamp.

“Paige, what is happening here? Two weeks ago I didn’t even know you existed. Now I can’t wait to come to work just to see you. You’ve become so special to me and I don’t want that to change.”

His words were like nectar to my starved soul. I craved more even though I didn’t understand it.

“Why? When we’re not talking all we’ve done is fight. There hasn’t been a chance for anything…I don’t know…good?”

“You’re breaking my heart, Paige. I’d say meeting you has been better than good.” He smirked, a look at odds with his usual demeanor. “And as for the rest of what you said—maybe I like the fight. Or maybe I like how you’re not afraid to tell me like it is.”

I closed my eyes. Afraid was all I knew.

“Gavin, it’s important that you learn something.”

“Yes?” He sounded amused, as if I was about to share an adorable secret.

“I’m not as good a person as you think I am.”

His voice dropped to a husky whisper. “You’re too hard on yourself.”

You don’t know the half of it.

I grabbed my bent wrist, unable to stop myself from reverting back to childhood habit that betrayed my distress.

“Gavin, I’m afraid you’ve built me up to be something I’m not.”

“I doubt that.”

No. Really.

“I don’t know if I should tell you this, but I didn’t mean to fall for you. It wasn’t my intention. I’m not the kind of girl who dates her…”

Stepbrother.

There it was. One word loaded with all its ugly connotations. I couldn’t pretend anymore that my actions were in the gray. I was full on black.

“Paige?”

“Sorry. Ah, where was I? I mean, I’m not the kind of girl who dates her boss. I want you to know that and believe me.”

“I know, Paige. I believe you.”

Gavin pulled back and cupped my face. His eyes darkened into cat’s eye green. I couldn’t look away. Suddenly, my heart thudded in anticipation and longing. I yearned to arch closer, to press my lips against his and see if they were as soft as I imagined.

“You believe me? Even after all this?”

“Of course, I do. You’re so sweet and kind and capable and brave and I…I just want to be with you all the time. I’ve gotten selfish, Paige. I don’t want to consume you.”

“Maybe I won’t mind.”

“You don’t know what you’re risking. I could see myself getting attached to you. I know this is moving so fast and maybe I’m wrong in feeling this way—”

Giddy, I reveled in his confidences. “No! I understand because I feel that way too.”

His gaze zeroed in on my lips. A heavy sigh shuddered through his body.

“Did I wreck things beyond repair, Paige?”

I shook my head. “I’m the one who should be asking you that.”

Gavin brushed his thumb against my earlobe. My legs trembled.

“No, you shouldn’t because I took some of my frustration out on you. I’m sorry. It wasn’t right.”

“It’s okay. Really.”

His apologies were beautiful, but they made me feel strange. Undeserving even. I’d rather he didn’t say them at all. 

“I made a mess of things. Not only was I unconsciously testing you, I was also consciously trying to save your honor. Clumsy as that turned out to be.”

He what?

“I don’t understand.”

Gavin clenched his jaw. “Someone saw us last night. At dinner. Someone from work.”

“Who?”

“It doesn’t really matter. I was just trying to head off any kind of gossip.”

Everything clicked and this time the picture made sense.

“You were being mean to protect me.”

He rolled his eyes, clearly chagrined. “You could say that. I was a colossal failure but my intentions were in the right place. Truly.”

“So all the snapping and accusing me of messing up was to make it look like there wasn’t anything romantic last night?”

“In a word—yes. I settled on things that I felt were true but…I was frustrated and…well, there you go.”

“Oh. My. God.” I thumped him on the chest. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because your reaction wouldn’t be authentic.”

Shows what you know.

“You got authentic.”

“And then some. Now answer something for me. You were so quick to once again to try to leave me behind. Why?”

“I didn’t…I just…” God, this was hard. “I’m not trying to cut out on you, Gavin. It’s just that I don’t want to overstay my welcome.”

“Is that all? Or did things too close last night? Was it Marlene? Tell me.”

"No, it wasn’t Marlene.”

“No jealousy there? Really?”

“You sound disappointed.”

“Maybe a little. I kid! Mostly. So what was it?”

Everything would be easier if we could just tease each other and laugh.

“I didn't plan on pushing you away, Gavin. I guess your anger just made it easier for me.” My palms dampened. “You were right. I was hurt. I lashed out because of it.”

“I’m sorry.” He was silent for a moment before saying, “I'm not trying to be a pig, but I'm not used to women pushing me way. They’re usually fixated on getting me to stay”

“Oh yeah? I wonder why that would be?” I asked with wide-eyed innocence. “I mean you're so tall and handsome. You even own your own company.”

Gavin tapped the tip of my nose. “And don’t forget I'm a multimillionaire.”

“I’d never forget that. Wait a minute! I thought you were a billionaire?”

His shoulders curled forward while he gave me a saucy wink. “Sometimes. It just depends on how my investments are doing. Lately, I’ve slid down into multimillionaire. Can you forgive the bad week I’ve had in the markets?”

He punctuated the mock apology with a dose of puppy dog eyes. It was a look that worked well on him.

“That puts everything into perspective,” I sang. “I guess you’ll just have to crash on my couch until you get back on your feet. It’s rough these days when you’re not a billionaire. Poor baby.”

He laughed. “It is indeed. By the way, will you be sharing the couch?”

“Nope. I’ll be sleeping in my bed like a baby.”

“Bummer.” Gavin shook his head with a wry grin. “You drive a hard bargain.”

I stuck my tongue out.

Instead of teasing me further, Gavin abruptly said, “I really don't get you. I can’t figure you out.”

He sounded so grumpy I almost smiled.

“Do you always categorize people?”

“It makes things easier, doesn’t it?”

It absolutely did. Except I didn’t have a multitude of boxes to choose from. Only one—not me.

“Sometimes.”

Gavin canted his head slightly. “I’m not being narcissistic when I say I know I’m attractive. I’m tall. I’m fit. I have money. I’m single. You seem to like me. I like you. So why do you want to run away from me so badly?”

Once again things got uncomfortable. I didn't know how to answer that.

Taking my time to answer, I said, “I’m not necessarily trying to run away from you.”

“No?”

“I guess I'm not very good with people either.” I let out a long breath. “I'm not someone who dates a lot so I'm not sure how to handle things very well with a guy. I guess running is my default because I don’t know what else to do. Like I said—I don’t want to overstay my welcome. If I think someone doesn’t want me around, I go. I’ve learned it’s better that way.”

This was as close to the truth as I could get about that. I never had a boyfriend. I also never really dated anyone. Why? I didn’t want to take a chance of losing someone I loved because of Patrick and Melissa’s craziness.

They dominated my life—even from five thousand miles away. This was all I knew and I couldn’t see that changing. Ever.

Apparently, the darkness of my family’s dysfunction sliced me away from the rest of the world a long time ago. Nothing could repair that cut.

And look at you. Dancing on the razorblade’s edge anyways.

“Then that makes the two of us. Usually I don’t do relationships, Paige. Of any kind.”

“Is that a warning then?”

Disappointed as that made me, I respected Gavin even more because of his honesty.

The object of my affection took his time answering.

“It's not a warning. It's just certain things don't come easy to me sometimes. Numbers make sense. Code makes sense. The law of diminishing returns makes sense. People not so much. Women even less.”

I got people well. Too well. It made it harder to interact with them when I could see more than they wanted to show.

“Men are tricky too.”

“Hardly! Men are simple to the point of stupid. We just want to work, eat well, watch TV, and have someone who loves us.”

“Oh, is that all?”

“Pretty much.”

“And that’s why there’s all that pesky cheating going on, right?” I asked with a roll of my eyes.

Gavin’s smile faded. “Not all men cheat. I don’t cheat. I never have and I never will.”

His seriousness and sincerity took me aback. I was at a loss when it came to saying something lighthearted so I didn’t even try.

“That makes you a rarity then.”

“I’m not as rare as you’d think.” Gavin skimmed his palm over my hair, careful not to dislodge my curls. I suddenly wished I’d worn it straight. “Lots of men want the same thing you do. Someone they can trust. Someone who has their best interest at heart. Someone who is loyal.”

“Then you’re definitely a keeper, Gavin.”

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you, Paige.” He gently bumped his head against mine again. “So no more running away from me.”

Trying to lighten the mood, I said, “I wasn’t exactly running this time. I was just letting you know what’s up.”

“Really? You’re putting me on notice that I’m a sick sadistic bastard then?”

Blushes burned a trail across my cheeks and forehead.

“God, I’m so embarrassed for saying that.”

“But you meant it, didn’t you?”

I debated whether I should take another chance and speak the truth. Just when I was going to deny it, the truth popped out anyways.

Be careful. Don’t let it become a habit.

“Yes, I did.”

Did that guilty little voice belong to me?

My miserable admission made Gavin chuckle.

“You sound so pitiful, Paige. Really you do. I take it I was a sick sadistic bastard of the temporary kind?”

I groaned and hid my face in his chest.

“I’m never going to lose my cool like that again. Honestly, Gavin.” Blowing out a breath, I said, “This would make two times I’ve almost lost my job. I’m really surprised you haven’t fired me yet. Especially after that tantrum.”

“I was tempted, Little Missy. Don’t think I wasn’t.”

“Then thank you for keeping me. I really do like working here. Even though we seem to butt heads more often than not.”

Gavin smoothed his hand over my back in strong, steady strokes. “Do you really?”

“I love it! I love everything about it.”

“Enough to stay to the end of your assignment?”

“Absolutely! I don’t want to let you or Axis 3 down, Gavin. I’ll do whatever it takes to stay until Caroline gets back.”

He closed his eyes, face gone heavy with frustration. I wondered what I said that was so wrong.

“Gavin?”