We landed in New Orleans just as dusk visited the city. I stared out the window, wide-eyed and curious to see the place of his youth. We rode into the Quarter, our sedan pulling up in front of a creamy beige building.

Hotel Mazarin.

I was suitably impressed by the grand architecture. This building epitomized what I imagined when I thought of New Orleans. I caught a glimpse of the beautiful courtyard, requisite fountain, of course, and high arches.

Check-in was a breeze. Gavin soon opened the door to our second floor suite, bellhop briskly bringing our luggage inside. I ignored everyone as I took in the rooms.

Black marble flooring, rich warm woods, lovely tapestries on the living room walls, crystal chandeliers throughout, a fully equipped kitchen, and a king-sized bed with an en suite bathroom.

It was beautiful, but that wasn’t what excited me.

I rushed out to the balcony and let out a whoop of delight. Black railings, green shutters, and delicate iron furniture all overlooking the street, it truly was a space of beauty.

This was the New Orleans of my imagination.

I leaned against the railing, turning my head here and there like a bird while trying to capture all the sights and sounds. Tourists walked below and the bustle of nightlife charged the air with excitement.

I wanted to see everything.

Gavin came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

“What do you think so far?” he asked while resting his chin on my shoulder.

“It’s beautiful! What’s that building across the street? It looks like a warehouse.”

He peered closer. “I’m not sure. Let’s find out later.”

“Do you think we can walk around and explore the city or should we wait until tomorrow? Ooh, you know what I’d like? I’d like to visit the famous cemeteries…I can’t remember what they’re called, but you know what I’m talking about, right? Oh, and can we walk down Bourbon Street? And is it true that there are jazz musicians all around playing instruments?”

My enthusiasm ran away from me. Too late, I remembered Gavin was here on business. Not to play tourist.

“Or we can save it for another time,” I amended quickly while turning around to look up at him. “I’m sure your schedule is packed.”

Being his PA, I should’ve already known that. I still didn’t know who he was meeting. Bad Paige.

Gavin’s gaze brightened to a beautiful shade of honey. “I think we can get most, if not all, that list taken care of. And if we don’t, we can always come back again.”

I played it cool. “That sounds good.” Inside I was doing backflips.

Gavin acted as if our little fight hadn’t happened. He wasn’t going to be moody and punish me with his temper for offending him. I really wasn’t in trouble.

The knot inside my heart undid itself.

“What do you want to do now, Gavin?”

He took both my hands in his and walked backwards into the living room.

“I can give you two guesses but I’m sure you’ll only need one.”

I jumped up into his arms and peppered kisses all along his neck. Gavin groaned when I nipped his jaw. His hands squeezed my backside hard.

“Mmm, somehow I don’t think we’ll make it into the bedroom.”

“You’re absolutely right, my sweet love. I can’t wait another moment to taste something else that is just as sweet.”

Gavin lifted me up and held me high up against the wall. He shoved my skirt up my thighs and easily ripped the tiny panties off my body.

I put my legs on his shoulders without being ordered. Gavin parted me with two fingers before hungrily feasting on me. He didn’t want to tease, knowing the exact pressure I needed to fall apart.

Crying out his name in no time at all, I clenched my fingers in his hair as I came so hard my heartbeat thundered in my ears.

Gavin brought me down but still held me aloft. “That good, love?”

“Isn’t it always?” I murmured drowsily with a smile.

“Mmm, I don’t mind hearing it again.”

“Very well. You are the best ever. In the world. No, the universe.”

“Which one?”

“All of them!” We laughed together, joyful in feeling alive and being together. Gavin kissed me and our need took center stage.

When we finally broke apart for air I purred deep in my throat. “My turn.”

Gavin raised his brow but set me down on my feet. “Never let it be said I don’t give my darling Paige what she desires.”

Too short to drop to my knees, I bent forward and undid Gavin’s belt. Palming his already hard cock, I pulled it out and gave it a teasing lick.

Gavin groaned. “You’re hardly playing fair, love.”

“Fair? Is there such a thing when you drive me crazy? I’m simply returning the favor.” Tracing the thick ridge with the tip of my tongue, I smiled when he let out another groan.

Lost in the power of having him under my feminine control, I took Gavin in my mouth, bit by bit. A shudder of delight went through me as he filled me to the brim. Then I relaxed my throat and took more.

“Fuck! Look at me, Paige. Let me see those pretty eyes as you suck my cock.”

His dirty words sent a bolt of lust right through my body. I smiled at him with my pretty eyes as I pleasured us both. Him with my mouth and me with my fingers.

It was always like this. It didn’t matter how many times I came. I always wanted more with Gavin.

He slid one hand through my hair and used the other one to lightly encircle my neck. I sucked him harder, rubbing my fingers faster across my clit. The delicious liquid tightening coiled low in my belly, growing in time with the cadence of my hand.

Our heavy breathing, the suction of my hot mouth, and the wetness between my thighs drowned out the constant drone of the French Quarter. Gavin thrust deeper down my throat. I was so full of him I could barely breathe. But I didn’t need air when I had him.

Fuck my mouth. Take whatever you want from me. Take everything I have.

“No, love. Not like this.”

Gavin roughly stood me back up. He yanked my hand away from my drenched core and sucked my wet digits into his mouth with a greedy moan.

Lifting me up again, he swiftly brought me down on his cock. I let out a sharp cry, swirling my hips to bring him even closer out of need and desperation.

Clutched in his arms, I dropped my head back against the wall. Gavin kissed my neck passionately, feverishly even. His hands gripped my ass hard and lifted me up and down, faster and faster.

I was out of my mind. Every thrust hit my aching clit. It was torture most divine.

Gavin may have forgotten about our spat on the plane but I didn’t. I needed this closeness. I needed to give myself to him, body and soul, and have him accept my offering.

There were so many words I’d never be able to say, but I could show Gavin with my body how much he meant to me.

I’d deny him nothing. He could have all of me for as long as he wanted because I loved him and always had.

No! You don’t have the right to think that. Stay in the moment. Don’t think about the future.

Digging my fingers deep in his shoulders, I lifted up higher and came down harder. Making love with Gavin was more than I deserved and I’d be a fool to waste a second thinking about something stupid like love.

Stupid. No, definitely not stupid.

Hopeless? Yes.

Loving Gavin, and God forbid, being loved by him would be heaven.

Just the fantasy of being free to be with Gavin, without shame or secrets or lies, was enough to push me over the edge. Dropping my head on his shoulder, I let out a low cry of satisfaction.

Gavin held me tighter. His thrusts quickened, a deep growl of pleasure building deep in his throat.

“Love, you’re so tight. It feels so good…I can’t…fuck!”

He pulled out of me roughly. Something warm hit my thigh. My eyes widened in surprise while Gavin’s remained hooded.

Hooded but watchful.

Breathless, I asked, “Was that what I thought it was?”

One word without remorse.

“Yes.”

Silly as it was, a blush stole across my face. “Are you worried that I’ll, uh, get…”

I couldn’t finish saying the words.

“Pregnant? No, I’m not worried.”

“Why not?”

Gavin kissed me sweetly on the lips. “Because a child is a blessing. Always. Don’t you think?”

I kept my expression controlled. A child should be a blessing. Too bad it didn’t hold true in my life. And maybe not in his either.

Stop thinking that way. Stay in the moment. Here with Gavin.

Why was this getting harder?

“Paige?”

I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face against his neck. “Children should be loved and appreciated.”

“That’s my girl. I knew you’d feel the same way.” Gavin carried me over to the bathroom and set me on the counter. “But it’s probably a moot point. I didn’t actually come in you.”

He reached over for a hand towel and spread my legs. His tawny eyes brightened while he inhaled sharply.

“What is it? Is something wrong?”

Gavin shook his head. “No. Not wrong. Not for me.” He couldn’t tear his eyes away.

I shifted and tried to close my legs. Gavin kept me from doing so with one firm hand on each thigh.

“No. Not yet, love.” He touched my folds with one finger.

I realized then what captured his attention completely.

“You came in me?”

Gavin’s nostrils flared. His large cock, already half-hard, rose up. “A little.”

Being that I was newly on the pill, never mind all the other skeletons in my closet, I should’ve been panicked at the possibility of conceiving. I should’ve leapt in the shower and scrubbed myself raw.

All those things made perfect sense.

But the forbidden excitement curling through me didn’t make sense. It wasn’t prudent. It carried the potential for life-long consequences.

I knew this. I did.

Yet…

Gavin slid two fingers in me, swirling them around before pulling them out. It felt so good, especially because of how much it affected him.

I grabbed Gavin by the wrist and pulled his hand up, much like he’d done to me earlier. Keeping my gaze locked on Gavin’s, I sucked his fingers into my mouth slowly.

Gavin clenched his jaw.

I was heady on my newfound power. Gavin looked like he was ready to jump me at any second. I laved each digit with my tongue, greedy to swallow any lingering drop.

Pulling my head back, I kept his fingertips against my lips. “I know I shouldn’t do it, but you taste so good, Gavin.”

That sultry whisper couldn’t be mine.

Gavin caged me in his arms. “I want to fuck you again. No barriers.” He exhaled loudly. “But…”

“But?”

He nipped the side of my neck. “But I’m going to do the right thing from here on out until your birth control fully kicks in.”

“And what if something happens from this?”

Gavin kissed his way upwards. His tongue delved into my open and eager mouth. Breathing hard, he cupped my face and nudged my head with his. “Then we’ll be in this together…whichever way it turns out. Okay?”

“Okay.”

His sensual mouth ticked up at one corner. “I’ll be counting the days until it’s safe to flood you, love. Until then…”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He cupped my pussy. “Don’t you dare move from this spot. Am I making myself clear?”

Drunk on the wonderfully dirty feelings his command inspired, I nodded and closed my eyes.

“Crystal.”

Gavin squeezed my pussy. He let out another sexy groan before walking out of the bathroom. I’d bet every dollar I had that he was in search of a condom.

A stack of them in fact.

Tucked away in the bathroom, I sat there awaiting the return of my lover when the image of a beautiful little baby with Gavin’s eyes appeared in the darkness.

I dared to hold him in my mind. The happiness cleansed my spirit, giving me the dream of something so precious and rare.

Hope.

Hope that one day I’d be good enough to be someone’s mother. Hope that one day I’d be mentally healthy enough to be free and honest about who I was and where I came from. Hope that one day I’d be brave enough to tell Gavin the truth and he’d still want to keep me.

His steps echoed across the stone floor. “Such a good girl to wait for me as I asked.”

I’d wait for you forever.

I opened my arms. I’d hold onto Gavin for as long as I dared.