If I was going to pull this off then I had to be flawless in the execution. My daily calls to Melissa would have to switch over to my cell. That was a potential flag so I had to make sure I did it only the day before.

I’d only take a minimum of clothing. Even the luggage had to be new. Otherwise, the cleaning woman would notice. My room, locked as it was at all times, wouldn’t draw her attention. An empty closet would.

Gavin viewed my purchases with a bemused smile. “Is this part of the famed bridal trousseau, love? You know between our wedding and honeymoon we’ll only be gone for five days.”

I winked and gave him a saucy, spoiled shrug. “New life. New luggage. New clothes.”

Consumed with my plans, I couldn’t remember most of my final days before it all went to hell. It was just little moments. Time blanked out the rest.

Gavin wanted our engagement to be public. “I want everyone to know you’re going to be mine.”

In other circumstances, this kind of splashy possessiveness would send me over the moon. However, I couldn’t take the chance of Melissa finding out. I had one shot at doing this and I couldn’t afford to make mistakes.

“Babe, how about we wait until after we get back from Costa Rica?”

He didn’t care for this at all.

Gavin tugged me to stand between his legs. “Why do you want to keep everything so secret, love?” When I didn’t answer fast enough he frowned and took his hands off my hips. “Do you not want to do this? Is that it?”

Rushing to assure him, I threw my arms around his neck and stroked the back of his head. “Gavin, I love you so much. You have no idea what I’d do to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

Maybe it was because I didn’t have to look at him, but I found it safe to confess a tiny sliver.

“I’m afraid.”

“Of what?”

Gavin’s slow, steady slide of his hand down my back soothed me. “Of losing you.”

“Paige.” He held me by my arms, leaving me no choice but to look at him. “Have I done anything to make you think I’m not serious about you? About us?”

“No.”

“Have I disrespected you or taken advantage of your love for me in any way?”

My voice came out tiny. Abashed even. “No, Gavin.”

“Then why ever would you even let yourself think I’m going anywhere? Don’t you trust me?”

God, if only it was as simple as trusting Gavin. I’d trust him with my life. Just not my truth.

“I do trust you.”

“Then what is it?”

I shook my head, unable to give voice to the grief and terror threatening to drag me under each minute since I agreed to be his wife.

I had to give Gavin some reason for my caginess. Something to pass off as nerves.

“I’m not part of New York’s high society, Gavin. What if I bring you bad press or something like that? They might look down on you for slumming. I…I don’t want anyone to think anything bad about you.”

Gavin’s placid stare gave nothing away. Seconds stretched on, dense and full of nervousness from me as I attempted to construct an appropriate strategy.

“Paige, I’ve chosen you to be mine. That’s all that matters. I don’t give a damn about society or what anyone says or doesn’t say about you. You could come to me without a penny to your name and a family full of criminals and it wouldn’t matter to me. I don’t care about your past because your future is with me.

“Who you were before doesn’t matter. What does matter is who you are now. When it comes to my personal life I don’t court other people’s opinion or approval. You’re my bride, Paige, and I couldn’t be prouder of you.”

I didn’t bother to blink back my tears. I let Gavin see them and what they meant from my heart.

“I didn’t know how much I needed to hear that. Thank you.”

Gavin kissed my lids with feather-light care. “You don’t have to thank me, love. You never have to thank me for loving you.”

This man humbled me and gave me a love so beautiful and pure I could weep. Cuddling into his chest, I wished those words would stay true.

But I knew better.

No matter how hard I worked, how much I planned, how well I executed the next few days, if things didn’t go perfectly I’d have to give Gavin up. Luck never had much use for me.

What were the chances it would be different this time? Everybody knew liars like me always got theirs in the end.

I don’t care. I haven’t come this far to give up.

“Besides, I’m not Page Six material. I’m adopted, remember? I’m not like those people. I’m not one of them and never will be. But if you want to wait, love, then we will. It’s a whirlwind kind of affair as it is. We’ll keep quiet as part of our romance.”

“Thank you. Gavin?”

“Yes, sweet love?”

“I’m not one of them either. I’m not one of anybody.”

“Wrong. You’re my somebody. My only somebody. Now let’s set a date.”

Hearing his steady heartbeat beneath my ear, I stared dully at the beautiful ring gracing my finger. I wanted this so badly and yet…

“How about this weekend, Gavin?”

“That’s only two days from now.”

“You know if it’s too early or you want more time to think about it—”

Gavin squeezed me and laughed. “Hell, what’s there to think about? That sounds perfect! Costa Rica has now turned into a honeymoon!”

I expected us to go to his lawyer’s office the next day. Numb and accepting that my true identity would finally be discovered, I vowed I’d take whatever hell Gavin unleashed on me.

I wouldn’t beg him to understand.

I wouldn’t justify my actions.

I wouldn’t defend myself.

All I would tell him was the following: “I love you, Gavin. If you can’t believe anything else I ever said or ever will say, know this much. I love you more than I love myself and I always will.”

I practiced it alone in the shower. After Gavin kissed me and left for work. While I shopped for my wedding dress.

So imagine my surprise when Gavin told me there’d be no prenup.

I loved him madly, but this amount of faith he put in me was too much. Dangerous even. There’d be so much damage from the fallout of my secret once it eventually came out. I didn’t want Gavin to think for one minute I was after him for his money.

“Gavin, this isn’t the wisest financial decision. You know that.”

He was implacable. “I’m not marrying you only to divorce you later.”

“I appreciate that, Gavin. I do. Let’s just go to the lawyers, talk it over with them, and go from there.”

“No. My mind is made up.”

“But—”

“No, Paige. There will be no divorce. It’s for better or worse or not at all.” Mistaking the expression on my face, Gavin took the sting out of his words by lifting my hand to his mouth. “Paige, my love for you is unshakable. Nothing has ever felt so right in my life. Understand?”

The intoxicating pressure of his lips on my ring finger quieted my protests but did very little for my fears.

Those goddamned constant, toxic, fucking fears.

The kind that broke me down and shouted at me I didn’t have a right to this happiness, to this man.

It branded me a piece of shit in all ways possible. It seeped away my nuptial excitement like a slowly bleeding vein.  

Every bride should view her wedding day with joy, concerned only with the minor details that in her innocence seemed like a big deal.

The wrong shade of pink on a ribbon. A snag in her bridal veil. Trouble finding—I didn’t know—whatever it was that went wrong during weddings. Something important surely but not enough to ruin the rest of her life. 

But I wasn’t an innocent bride and the tragedy hanging in the wings would ruin me fatally.

I lost myself in Gavin’s arms every night only to lie awake by his side long after he fell asleep, tormented by the ruin I courted.

This wasn’t going to end well.

I knew it.

I knew it when I was on my knees in the bathroom, puking my guts out because I was so stressed.

I knew it when the suspicion tickled my fevered brain and caused me to check my calendar.

I knew it when I walked down to the drugstore.

I knew it when there was yet another secret to hold to my heart. Except this time I wasn’t ashamed of it at all.

I’ll tell him after we’re married. On our honeymoon. It’ll be the best present I could get my sweet Gavin.

My sense of self-preservation expanded. Now there was no other acceptable outcome except to succeed.

Gavin and I had to get married. No one could stop our wedding.

My communication with Melissa had to be perfect. Considering she’d yet to confront me about living with her son, I had to assume she was still in the dark. I couldn’t count on that lasting much longer.

Containment.

That was my goal from this point on. Once Patrick and Melissa found out about my marriage, my father would go ballistic. He’d cut me off. That was more than fine. Preferable even. I didn’t care anymore about losing him. Or even Melissa.

Besides, everything I knew about how to handle relationships I learned at their knee. I wasn’t important to either of them. Why should they be more important than my relationship?

Gavin was my family now and he indeed was my everything.

Besides, knowing what I knew about Patrick and his need for control, he wouldn’t want anyone to know. He’d bury it, pretend I never existed.

No one would ever know.

“It’s our last dinner together as a dating couple. Tomorrow night we’ll be Mr. and Mrs. Gavin Hawthorne.” My perfect fiancé clinked his wine glass against mine. “Happy?”

I took the barest of sips. Tonight more than ever, the wine tasted sour. I barely suppressed a shudder as it slid down my throat. Nausea rose up but I managed to beat it back.

So far, so good.

“More than you know. I love you so much, Gavin. I can’t wait to be yours.”

“You’re already mine, love.” He kissed my ring finger once more. Pleasure danced in his bright gaze. “Our marriage will only legalize what our hearts already know.”

Fuck me but I was completely, utterly, insanely in love with this man.

Our bags were packed. Reservations were made and confirmed for the honeymoon suite in a luxurious hotel. The quaint chapel in Vegas had us marked down for a late afternoon wedding. The private jet, the one I wished I could’ve taken on my deceitful flight to Hawaii, was fueled and ready.

Gavin had to put in a half-day since he’d be out Monday and Tuesday. We’d be wheels up by early afternoon the next day.

And my new life would start.

Gavin leaned in for a kiss at my door. “Are you completely sure you want to spend this last night apart?”

“It’s tradition,” I said lightly against his lips.

“I say hang the tradition. I won’t be able to sleep without you next to me.”

Temptation tugged at me, but our future happiness counted on my ability to complete the extraction from my old life.

I needed to get all of my important things out of the apartment tomorrow morning which meant I needed to pack tonight. The movers were on schedule to be at my door eight am sharp.

If everything went smoothly, all my precious books, dolls, and assorted collectibles would be in their new home by the time Gavin left the office. Boxed up but safe.

Wrapped up in each other’s arms as we said our goodbyes, I let myself have the wish for something different.

I wished I wasn’t entering our marriage this way.

I wished I had a loving relationship with my father.

I wished Melissa could just be my mother-in-law.

I wished I could be the person Gavin thought I was.

The wishes flamed out.

I may have started my relationship with Gavin in lies but something beautiful came out of it. Just for that I couldn’t regret the path I’d taken to get here.

“I’m going to miss you, love. This night will be the last one we’re apart. Understand?”

“Yes, Gavin.”

If I was fighting my nature before, now I was completely ruthless to the lengths I’d take to make my life permanent with Gavin Hawthorne. It wasn’t just for me anymore. It was for someone far more important than my brokenness, my father’s cruelty, and Melissa’s weakness.

And there was nothing I wouldn’t do to make the future better than the past I left behind.