Impossible.

I didn’t make mistakes. I was too damned terrified to make them. I triple-checked my work out of habit so how did this happen…

Oh shit.

I was so pumped by Gavin calling me indispensable I hadn’t run back across my work. I’d saved it and sent an imperfect file to him. How could I have been so, so stupid?

This is why you can’t slip up. Ever. Every time you let yourself believe in the good things you get sloppy. You always fuck it up.

Somehow I’d made it to his side on feet that trembled in their three-inch leather heels. My voice barely rose above a murmur.

“What’s wrong with the numbers?”

Gavin’s gaze swept over my face with an intensity I hadn’t seen since my interview. I couldn’t read him, but the words were enough to prove I’d fallen from grace.

“The numbers are off by two million.”

My stomach took another tumble. Squish. Boom. I didn’t have to look in a mirror to know my blush stood out in ghastly streaks. The paleness always preceded a bout of lightheadedness.

I couldn’t afford to pass out. Not now.

Rushing past him, I looked at Gavin’s computer without permission. Later on I’d see that as another mistake in my Perfect Paige persona. But for the moment I was too terrified to think about anything other than scanning the screen, hoping and praying he was wrong.

I zeroed in on the odious flaw.

Gavin was right.

I’d neglected to put my decimal in the correct place. I’d shorted the projected sales for Axis 3’s latest app. I didn’t have to imagine what would’ve happened if Gavin hadn’t caught the error.

These projections were to be sent to the Account Manager for him to present to his client on Monday. The mistake had the power to be embarrassing to say the least, but could’ve been devastating if the client believed their company was losing money on the app.

Which, because of this double-damned decimal, they were.

I stepped away from his desk. My ears filled with static and my heart seemed stuck in my throat.

“Please accept my apologies, Gavin. This mistake is inexcusable. I should’ve never been so sloppy. There is no justification for what I’ve done, but please know that it will never, ever happen again.”

Gavin considered me from his position by the opposite end of his workstation. I couldn’t get a bead on what he was thinking, but I could only imagine.

You stupid, worthless woman! What kind of idiot isn’t careful when it comes to projections? Can you even add? Clearly, you’re the biggest moron on the planet because you don’t even have to add the figures. The program does. All you had to do was feed it the correct information but you’re so stupid you can’t even do that right.

The silence stretched to the point of snapping.

I was sick to my stomach from what he was going to say next. It had to be worse than my imagination. Regardless, I deserved to be fired without question. I couldn’t expect Gavin to tolerate imperfection, especially one as dire as this.

This time his silence overwhelmed, making me feel like I was drowning in his unspoken criticism. There was only one way to make this right.

It was over.

Somehow scraping my dignity off the floor, I squared my shoulders. My shell might’ve split at the seams, but it would last me long enough to do what had to be done.

“I understand your decision to replace me, Gavin. I apologize for the terrible inconvenience, being that this is Friday and all.” My voice thickened. I paused briefly before continuing. “There’s nothing in Caroline’s desk for me to remove. I can turn my entry card over to you now and leave the building immediately.”

Gavin didn’t say anything to my measured speech. He simply continued to look at me.

Shame didn’t even almost cover it. At least with my father I knew exactly where I stood with him. He’d berate me until he was red in the face. Afterwards, I’d be dismissed but at least it’d be over.

How badly I’d miscalculated to think Gavin’s silence was easier!

I reached into my purse and pulled out the plastic entry card and laid it on his desk. My emotions wanted to surface but I pushed them down with a ruthless shove. I wasn’t allowed the luxury of feeling sorry for myself.

I made a mistake and now I had to pay for it.

“All right then. I’ll see myself out.”

Walking around the side of Gavin’s desk, I kept my head high and back straight. I wasn’t going to compound my error by letting myself look at this beautiful and fascinating man one last time.

I’d lost that privilege when I let him down. He’d been my hero, someone I’d looked up to, and to know I’d screwed up this badly...

My eyes filled with tears. I blinked them back.

First, I just had to make it to the elevator. Then out of the building. Then into a cab. Then into my apartment. Once there, all alone like always, then I could let my shield down.

I didn’t have to guess how I was going to spend my weekend now.

I’d barely made it to the elevator when I felt a hand on my arm. Startled, I turned around and found Gavin standing there only inches away.

“Paige, what just happened?”

I dared to look into his face. I saw what looked like confusion and even concern. What I saw had to be wrong.

His hand is so warm. I can feel it through my coat.

Strange the thoughts that can come to a person when she was in the middle of dissociating from the temporary life she created.

Gavin clearly awaited an answer from me. I wasn’t sure what to say. He didn’t seem like he wanted to humiliate me by having me recite my failings, but I could always be wrong.

Clearly. 

“I’m afraid I don’t understand what you mean.” 

His gaze mesmerized in the half-light. Standing this close to him I couldn’t help but notice his thick dark lashes and how long they were.

“Did you just quit on me back there?”

“I did.”

“Seriously? Over a mistake?”

“An inexcusable error. Yes.”

Gavin didn’t seem to notice he was still holding my arm. His hand squeezed harder.

“Paige…Jesus! I’m not a monster. Have I done something to make you think I’d fire you over something so petty?”

Petty? Did he not understand the gravity of the situation?

“It’s not petty, Gavin. I got distracted and didn’t go over my work. You can’t have someone in your operation that would do something to jeopardize your reputation and that of your company. I did the only thing I could do after making such an error.”

“Quit?”

“Yes.”

He frowned. “So you’d leave me without a PA, with no time to find one being this is Friday, over a decimal?”

I didn’t care for the mocking disbelief tinging his words.

“It’s not about a decimal.”

“Oh, I think it is.”

How could I care more about Gavin’s company image than him? Or maybe he just wasn’t understanding the magnitude of my error? Or worse—maybe I’d misjudged Gavin and he was doing this out of a sadistic sense of glee?

“Gavin…Mr. Hawthorne…I apologize for my mistake. I know it’s not enough to compensate for my error, but that is why I’m leaving.”

“Unacceptable.”

Gavin turned around and walked away. Because he was still holding onto my arm, I had no choice but to follow him. He took us back into his office and sat me down.

Gavin then pulled a chair over to me and sat down too. His knees were close to mine. I knew I needed to keep my gaze up, but I just wanted to stare at the space where less than an inch separated us.

“Paige. Look at me.”

Reluctantly, I turned to him. Apparently, my boss wanted to lay into me. I didn’t blame him. If anything, my father had taught me mistakes were absolutely unacceptable. I shouldn’t have been surprised Gavin would feel the same.

What powerful man didn’t?

I sat there still as a statue and just as hard. My father had also taught me my tears and feelings were just as repugnant as my errors. He never wanted to see them and I was positive neither would Gavin.

“Tell me what’s really going on.”

“Pardon?” My fingers tightened.

“This isn’t who you’ve been all week. You don’t strike me as someone who’d fall apart over a mistake.”

That showed what Gavin Hawthorne really knew.

I was indeed the kind of person who freaked out over mistakes. That was why I didn’t make them. Ever. That was why I obsessed over making sure everything was as it needed to be.

But I couldn’t very well tell him that, could I?

“I don’t believe I’m falling apart, Mr. Hawthorne. I’m simply showing my level of commitment to you and Axis 3. I have high standards for myself because that’s what I deliver to my employer. The minute you can’t count on me is the minute my usefulness to you ends.”

I couldn’t help but notice how Gavin’s knees framed mine. I was trapped between them but strangely I liked it. It made me want to stay and sit with him longer even though I knew I should’ve already been on my way.

Or at least I would be once Gavin was finished with me. How painful this was to be near someone you shouldn’t or couldn’t have…

“Paige, I appreciate your dedication. Truly. But I need you here. You’ve been indispensable to me this week. I don’t have any complaints.”

There he went with that word again. Indispensable.

It had the power of Lorelei and like the poor sailors, I slammed straight into the rocks of my destruction. Frankly, I never wanted to hear it again in conjunction with me.

“But—”

“No. It’s time for you to listen.”

Although Gavin didn’t raise his voice, I heard the authority within it. I submitted without conscious thought.

“You made a mistake. It’s not the end of the world. Big deal. We all make them. It just shows you’re human.”

My inner self revolted against his proclamations. He didn’t understand.

Gavin continued, unaware of the storm brewing inside me.

“You’ve been working harder than I ever expected you to. It’s been a long week. Mistakes happen when a person gets tired.”

“That’s not what happened! I wasn’t tired.”

Gavin making excuses for me was far more excruciating than if he just tore into me and called me ten kinds of an idiot. This kindness or whatever it was just stretched it out. Even my father wasn’t that cruel.

He leaned back and crossed his arms. “Then what happened?”

Fuck. I couldn’t tell him I’d let myself get googly-eyed over something complimentary he’d said in passing.

“I already told you. I was sloppy.”

Gavin’s expression gave nothing away.

I sat there and returned his stare.

Although I itched to bolt while being under his regard, I wasn’t going to leave until we were done. I owed him at least that much, especially since Gavin was never going to know my real identity.

Admit it. You just don’t want him to think more badly of you than he probably already does.

“You’ve got a story to tell, Paige.”

I blanched. What did he mean?

Gavin shook his head. “Don’t worry. I don’t expect you to share. Just know that we all have things to overcome.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that unexpected bit of empathy so I kept silent.

He shifted closer. “So let me tell you how it’s going to be, Paige. You’re going to give yourself a nice, long break this weekend. Then you’re going to come in on Monday and continue to be indispensable to me. You won’t even think about quitting on me again. Got it?”

“That’s all you have to say about my error? Really?”

“Yes. Now are you going to fulfill my expectations?”

Although nothing in his voice overtly changed, there was something about his phrasing that sent a foreign tingle right through me. Confusion and self-recrimination instantly set in.

This is Melissa’s son you’re thinking about. Watch yourself!

It was one thing to find Gavin attractive. It was quite another to be attracted to him.

That wasn’t why I came to work here. I was curious, true, but more than that I wanted to work with my secret idol. I wanted to understand how he got to where he was, regardless of his start in life.

On some level I wanted to know that there was a chance for me too. That I could be better, different, than the girl who grew up alone and scared in paradise.

Being attracted to Gavin, getting cozy with feeling lust for him wasn’t okay. That was what I’d told myself ever since Wednesday night.

But my logic didn’t seem to matter.

I was intoxicated with the excitement fluttering in my tummy. My knee touched his when I shifted my thighs. I was tempted to let it stay there, but it would be wrong.

These feelings were wrong.

“Paige, where did you go?”

“I’m sorry...I didn’t hear...could you repeat that again?”

This time I couldn’t control my flush of embarrassment. Gavin noticed I zoned out and I wanted to groan. That or throw something against the wall.

Gavin reached for both my hands. I looked down at them in wonder. He had beautiful hands, like those of a musician. Or a surgeon.

Can you fix me and make me better too?

“Are you going to do what you’re told, Paige?” His gaze seemed to glow in the half-light. Marvelous. Wondrous. Beautiful. “You can’t leave me just yet. Not when I’ve grown so used to you.”

“Really?”

Gavin’s thumbs rubbed across the tops of my hands. I didn’t risk looking down just in case I drew his attention and he stopped. Generally, I didn’t care for being touched but I found that I liked being touched by him.

“Really.” Gavin smiled. I could see a dimple peeking, making me want to touch it with my lips. “You made this uncomfortable transition with Caroline bearable. More than bearable. You’ve been a pleasant surprise to say the least.”

“I’m happy to hear that. Really I am. Thank you, Gavin.”

He inched forward. I could see his gaze settle on my mouth for a second longer than polite.

Kiss me. Kiss me. Please, oh please, kiss me.

Oh God. What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I stop these wicked thoughts?

Other than our interview, Gavin hadn’t shown an inkling of interest in me other than as his employee. I was probably seeing what I wanted to see.

But Wednesday was different. You were afraid only you felt it. Something was definitely there.

No. Gavin was just watching out for his PA. Temporary PA. He’d had a cab waiting for me every night since for the same reason. It wasn’t anything special. Right?

Of course not.

I was the consummate realist but here I was indulging in fantasy. What was happening to the person I’d always been?

There’s only one man who’s been able to bring fantasy into your life. And he’s here right in front of you looking like an angel come to make it all better.

“Are you good now, Paige? No thoughts of quitting on me?”

“Yes to the first. No to the second.”

“Are you sure?”

I nodded, incapable of further speech when he squeezed my hands once. 

“Okay. I want you to go home and relax. Don’t think of spreadsheets or decimals or any of the thousand and one tasks you have waiting for you. Take a walk in the park or get lost in a good book. Eat some cotton candy. Buy a pair of fluffy socks. Do whatever it is that makes you feel good.”

He made an ordinary weekend sound special. Magical even.

Oh dear God, I was in dangerous territory.

“Okay.” 

Gavin smiled brightly, as if pleased with my acquiescence.

“Most importantly have fun. Then I want you to come back here on Monday ready to take on the world. Can you do that for me, Paige?”

Things were shifting inside me, things I couldn’t put neatly back in place.

I scrambled to remember the right words and tone I constructed to fit here. Paige Winters wouldn’t be so naïve as to take Gavin’s suggestions as anything more than friendly advice. She definitely wouldn’t feel that a pact formed between her and her boss.

But Paige Brookstone would.

Paige Brookstone would’ve remembered all the nights she spent in that mansion by the ocean, wondering if life would be less lonely if she had this talented and handsome person by her side.

I was neither person anymore.

Somehow in the week I’d spent here devoting my working day to Gavin, I’d married the two. Now I saw Gavin as an extraordinary man and not a benign mentor.

I saw him as someone I wanted outside of the office and more importantly, outside of girlhood fantasy.

Knowing I was going down a road less traveled, I looked Gavin straight in the eye and smiled widely.

“Yes, I can do that, Gavin.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

“All right then.” Gavin stood up while still holding onto my hands. He smiled again. It blew me away. “You’re doing a phenomenal job, Paige. Remember that.”

Gavin’s praise was like water to a woman dying in the desert of life. I soaked it in and let myself believe, for a moment, he really meant it.

Phenomenal. Me?

This could be addictive.

I expected him to dismiss me and then go back to his desk. Instead, Gavin walked with me to the elevator, all the while keeping a hand low on my back. Every nerve seemingly centered right beneath the space between his palm and my skin.

Nervous desire crept into me with every heartbeat. It pounded so loudly I was afraid Gavin would be able to hear it. I stole a glance. Even in profile he was so damned beautiful.

Perfect.

Everything about him was perfect. His looks, his intelligence, his personality, the way he viewed things…the kindness he showed me tonight.

Gavin could’ve fired me. I would’ve fired me.

He didn’t. He made me believe and see I wasn’t a complete fuck-up. Later, I knew the lifelong poison would seep into me, distorting how I saw myself and everyone else.

But for now I was worthy.

“Don’t forget this.”

I automatically reached out. He dropped the key card onto my palm. Gavin then pushed the elevator button. It opened immediately. Reluctant, but careful not to betray that emotion, I walked in and turned around.

Gavin’s gaze seemed dark, focused on me in a way I’d only caught a glimpse of that first day.

And Wednesday. Don’t forget about Wednesday.

I watched as he opened his mouth and then closed it. Gavin took a step back.

“Goodnight, Paige.”

I wanted to know what he would’ve said. My imagination burned to go into overdrive.

“Goodnight, Gavin.”

The doors slid closed. Safe in the empty space, I slumped back against the wall. My hand pressed over my heart. I could feel the beat rattle and thump against my chest.

Things between us changed and I couldn’t undo that.

More importantly—I didn’t want to.