Infatuation
My feet drag across the taupe carpet that looks more like a gray in the glare of the television lighting the room.
“First, she moves back here without even telling me, then she takes Lizzy back with her to Pennsylvania to pack her stuff, and now this thing with Eric. Why does she keep everything from me? Am I really that awful?”
Cat and Steven exchange a look on the couch where they’re snuggled up together as I continue to pace the floor in front of them. Before Cat started dating Steven, it wasn’t a big deal for me to pop up at Cat’s whenever I needed to vent to my friend. But coming here when they’re together sucks.
Steven cackles, and I narrow my eyes at him as I come to a stop. “Who says it has anything to do with you?”
“Why are you here again?” My tone is clipped, but I can’t seem to keep the playfulness off my face.
Steven huffs. “Hey, I was here first. You interrupted our date, remember?”
Jealousy tries to rear its ugly head, my mind briefly considering what the two of them might be doing right now if I hadn’t showed up unannounced. I shove the thought back down into the little box with the rest of my unwanted emotions.
“Date?” I jeer, gesturing to the room. “Please, you mean Netflix and chill? You need to take my girl out for a real date.”
“That’s funny. I would’ve pegged you as the type that prefers to stay in.” He smirks, and heat rises in my cheeks as my round eyes dart over to Cat, then back to him.
“Steven’s right,” Cat interjects, none the wiser. “I think Julianna keeps stuff from everyone, it isn’t anything personal toward you. Lizzy told me she only found out about Eric because she caught her coming home the morning after Valentine’s Day and she was glowing.”
“Yeah, I bet she was. You should see him. Who could have guessed that scrawny kid would turn out to be such a sexy little beef cake?” I fan myself dramatically.
“Um…hello,” Steven says, pointing to himself. “Boyfriend sitting right here.”
“Oh gross, that’s right,” I groan, my features bunching. “You’ve got your own arm candy.” Rolling my eyes, I gesture toward Steven who’s smirking, his eyebrows raised. “You probably wouldn’t even notice Eric with this one in the room.”
“Arm candy, huh?”
“Oh, pipe down. Don’t act like it’s a surprise that people think you’re good looking.”
He tilts his head, his lips pressed together in thought. “People, no. You, on the other hand…”
“Oh!” Cat says, her eyes lighting up with amusement as she taps on Steven’s shoulder. “Have I not told you her nickname for you?”
I gasp, my hand landing on my hip as I narrow my eyes at her. “Catelyn Shea, don’t you dare!”
Steven looks between Cat and me. “Now you have to tell me.”
Cat’s lips curl like the Cheshire Cat. I’m screwed. “Officer Hotbod.”
Steven laughs hysterically while my face flames.
“Don’t let your head get too big. I gave you that nickname before I met you because of the way Cat described you. To be honest, I didn’t really believe they made cops like you.”
“Like me?” He cocks an eyebrow, a knowing smile tugging at his lips. “And how is that exactly?”
I flip him off. “Okay. We’re done here. Back to the topic at hand, Julianna and her secret hot as fuck boyfriend.”
“Did she say they were dating?” Cat asks.
“No,” I huff, throwing up a hand. “She wouldn’t tell me anything, but I saw the way they were looking at each other all day. Especially him. He has it bad for her, always has. I swear, when he calls her Jules, I can actually hear his love for her.”
“That’s so sweet. I’m so happy for her,” Cat coos as she comes to her feet. “I’m going to go pop the popcorn. If we don’t start the movie soon, I’ll never make it to the end.”
Steven and I both watch her as she leaves the room, our glares colliding awkwardly again.
“Wait,” Steven says. “Did you say Jules?” I nod and my forehead creases. “What’s Eric’s last name?”
“Winston,” I caution. “Why?”
“No way. That’s crazy.” He chuckles like he’s in on some kind of secret, and my hand lands on my hip as I await his explanation. “I know this is a small town, but—”
“But what?” I place my free hand over my heart as if bracing myself for what he’s about to tell me. “Dear lord, please don’t tell me you’ve arrested this guy before.”
“No. Calm down, big sis.” He smirks at me as he makes a lowering gesture with his hands, and I roll my shoulders. “Eric is one of my closest friends, actually.”
“He is?” I move toward him, taking the seat on the couch Cat had just vacated. “Tell me everything. I need to make sure this guy isn’t going to hurt her like the last prick.”
“No way,” Steven says, shaking his head. “Eric’s a good guy, and you’re right, he’s crazy about your sister. I only knew her as Jules, but we’ve had many drunken talks about the one who got away—the only woman he’s ever loved.”
My throat swells as I struggle to swallow my bubbling emotions. “If he loves her, why didn’t he stop her from marrying that asshole? What’s he been doing with his life all these years?”
“He wanted to fight for her, but how do you fight for someone who makes it clear they don’t want you?” Steven gives me a pointed look. My stomach flutters as I avert my eyes. I wish I could tell him it was never about me not wanting him; it was about me not being who he deserves. “It hit him hard when she got married. He ended up marrying this awful woman, which ended in divorce less than a year later. He wasn’t in a good place. He’s worked hard these past couple years building his business and getting his life back on track. If I had a sister, I’d trust him with her.”
“Okay, good.” I let out a sigh of relief as I relax into the couch, resting my head as I close my eyes. “You probably think I’m a nosey, over protective freak.”
His chuckle is soft yet deep, and I swear I can feel his eyes on me. “Nosey and protective maybe, but that doesn’t make you a freak. You care deeply for the people you love, and I think that’s an enduring quality.” His warm hand covers mine like a blanket and my eyes pop open as his thumb caresses me. My body goes tense from the sudden lack of air. It’s as if I’ve forgotten how to breathe as my gaze meets his and he gives me a soft smile. “Your sister is lucky to have you looking out for her, but she’s going to be fine.”
I nod, and he gives my hand a tight squeeze before letting go, leaving that same aching cold on my skin in its wake. A silence falls between us as my stare moves to the ceiling and I slowly start to pull oxygen into my lungs again.
He clears his throat. “Is it wrong to point out that I touched you without being threatened with bodily harm?”
My head shoots up and I narrow my eyes at him as I try to hold back my smile. “I was distracted with concern for my sister. Don’t get too comfortable.”
“I don’t know,” he singsongs. “I think we might officially be friends.”
I scoff. “Fuck off.”
His smile only beams brighter. “Yeah, I care about you too.”
My stomach fills with butterflies, and I press my lips together, feigning disgust, before resting my head on the back of the couch again.
Cat walks back into the room with the popcorn and plops down on the opposite side of Steven. “Oh, wow! How did you manage to get her quiet?” she jokes.
Steven chuckles. “I don’t know. Maybe she gets nervous around cops.”
They both laugh this time, and I groan.
When Cat starts the movie, I sit up and chance another glance over at Steven. His arm is around Cat’s shoulder and she’s snuggled into his side with her head on his chest. They look like a picture-perfect couple, and my stomach knots with jealousy, but when I see the soft smile on Cat’s face, it unwinds. I can and will overcome this little infatuation with him. There’s no other option.
Cat tangles her fingers in mine, leaning back onto my chest as she wraps my arm around her shoulders. Lori left about thirty minutes ago, yet she still seems to be the topic of conversation.
Lori mentioned Levi, Eric’s little brother, was hitting on her while they were getting Julianna moved into her new apartment. Now, Cat is scheming with Julianna, trying to figure out a way to get the two of them hooked up. And she’s attempting to convince me to help them, but I’m not on board. The idea makes my stomach hurt a little more than it probably should.
“I think it would be awesome,” Cat says. “We could go on double dates, and then maybe Lori wouldn’t feel so left out.”
“You’re forgetting one thing, babe. Lori doesn’t date.”
“Well, she hasn’t always been against the idea of dating.”
That information piques my interest. I’ve been trying to figure out what made Lori so closed off since we met. “She hasn’t? What do you think changed that?”
She shrugs. “I’m pretty sure she was secretly dating this guy our senior year. She was absent a lot and lying about where she was. By the time she started her first semester of college, she was seeing a new guy every week. I think something happened with this mystery guy and that altered her attitude about dating.”
I scoff, and Cat turns her head to meet my gaze. “Are you saying you think she’s still jaded over her first love?”
“No.” She rolls her eyes, smacking her lips. “I don’t think she’s ever been in love. That isn’t the kind of thing you can easily hide.”
My eyebrows lift. “You say that like you know from experience. Have you been in love?”
Cat averts her eyes, her cheeks going red as she faces away from me again. “Well, sure…” She clears her throat. “Haven’t you?”
“No.” I jeer. “I mean, there were a couple times when I thought I was in love, but it wasn’t real.”
She shifts to meet my gaze again, her eyes studying mine. “What makes you say that?”
“Because I believe once you truly love someone, you’ll always love them.”
Her features fall, her face losing all color this time as she swallows. “Oh, yeah. I guess you’re right.”
She rests her head on my chest again, snuggling into me, and my thoughts reel with this latest information. There’s no way she’s talking about me. We haven’t uttered those three words yet because neither of us are ready. So, not only did Cat tell me she’s been in love before, but she’d also practically admitted to still being in love with him.
“So, what’s this guy’s name—the one you fell in love with? Maybe he and I need to have a little chat,” I tease, though I’m seriously wondering if this is an issue.
She chuckles, elbowing me in the side. “That won’t be necessary. It was more of an unrequited love.”
“Not possible.” I nuzzle her neck, placing a quick kiss there. “I bet this dude is somewhere pining over you right now.”
She moans with contentment. “Not likely, trust me.”
“And what about you?” I let out a long breath down her neck. “Should I be worried?”
She shakes her head. “No way, you’re the only person occupying my thoughts these days.”
“Good to hear,” I say before nibbling her ear.
She lets go of my hand and reaches up to run her fingers through my hair instead. “You know, I think you might be changing Lori’s perspective on love.”
I lift my head, and she meets my gaze. “Me?”
“Yep.” She smirks. “I think you’ve won her over. She even referred to us as an epic love story once.”
I force a smile on my face as my gut twists, Lori’s words that day in my truck replaying in my mind. She pushed me away believing she wasn’t good enough or right for me, and that couldn’t be further from the truth. She was then, and she is now, only I may never get the chance to tell her that.