Married
The bartender places an amaretto sour in front of me, and I motion for him to start me another before sucking down the liquor. A fresh drink is slid toward me as I set the empty one back on the bar and grab the bartender’s arm to keep him from walking away.
“Married? They can’t get fucking married,” I tell him.
He raises his eyebrows, his round eyes regarding me with caution before pulling away. Not that I blame him. I’m acting like a crazy person right now. To be honest, I feel a little insane.
Lizzy informed me a moment ago Steven is planning to ask Cat to marry him. She was bursting with excitement, spilling the secret to me in hopes of keeping it from Cat. Which I’d normally say was a horrible idea, but this isn’t something I’ll be telling Cat because this can’t happen. They aren’t ready, and I still haven’t been able to get what Steven’s grandmother said out of my head.
“She’s not the one who lights a fire in him. She’s not the one he wanted to fight for. The two of you belong together.”
Logically, I know Steven and I are completely wrong for each other—especially now that he’s been with Cat. But putting that aside, we couldn’t be more opposite. He’s white; the light bounces off him to reveal a rainbow of colors. I’m black, absorbing the light and turning it into darkness.
“That is what people do at a wedding,” someone mocks beside me.
Out the corner of my eye, I see Levi, causing a groan before I begin to suck down my second amaretto sour. Eric’s little brother chuckles as I polish it off, and I only turn to look at him once I’ve finished my drink.
“Why are you even here, baby Winston?”
He laughs again, clearly unfazed by the nickname I’d given him or my disinterest in talking to him.
“Well, since your sister is busy playing bridesmaid today, I got rooked into helping Eric.”
I roll my eyes. It’s still so hard to believe it’s Lizzy’s wedding day and I’d agreed to be her bridesmaid for the second time. I hate weddings. Even more than that, I hate being in weddings. The entire process is stupid.
“I would’ve been a lot more on board with the idea if I’d known you’d be here, beautiful.”
My face bunches, and I shiver in disgust. “You literally made my stomach churn,” I say, shaking my head. “Aren’t you here with that cute little redhead? Why don’t you go join her in the playpen and leave the grownups alone?”
Levi rubs the back of his neck. “While I normally enjoy our flirtatious banter, I must say you seem a little extra cranky this evening. That wouldn’t have anything to do with Steven planning to ask Cat to marry him, would it?”
My eyes narrow at him. “Why are you talking to me?”
More importantly, why had I opened my big drunk mouth that night at the bar? I’d made a point of never mentioning Steven by name, only referring to him as the boy scout, but his identity was revealed when Steven showed up in Cat’s place. I was so sloshed and upset, I’m not entirely sure what all I’d said. Lord willing, it wasn’t anything too damning.
Ignoring Levi, I turn my back to the bar. The reception hall is so beautiful. White fabric draped from the ceiling, twinkling lights, and faint hints of pale pinks sprinkled around the room. My focus lands on the dance floor, only to find Steven there. He’s dancing to “The Time of My Life” with Lizzy’s daughter, who’s beaming. They’re both laughing as he moves to the music, Maddison’s feet resting on his. It’s hands down the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, and my lips curve into a smile as I watch them. There’s no doubt he’ll be a wonderful father someday. My chest tightens at the thought. I don’t think I even want children. I’m too selfish to have kids. And that’s one more thing proving I’m not right for Steven—one more reason he belongs with someone like Cat. But marriage already? They’ve only been dating for six months.
“I see the way you look at him.”
Heat rises on my cheeks as I cut my eyes back over to Levi.
“He’s dating my best friend, apparently about to be engaged to her. What exactly are you accusing me of, baby Winston?”
“I’m not accusing you of anything. I know the truth. Steven told Eric everything the other night after Brenden’s little bachelor party. I was glad I volunteered to be their DD. It was like Taxi Cab Confessions in my car.”
My back stiffens and icy panic races through my veins, but I merely scoff and roll my eyes before averting them back out into the crowd. “You don’t know shit.”
“You’re right, I don’t know anything about the night the two of you spent together. I never heard Steven refer to it as the greatest night of his life. He wants to come clean with Cat, says it’s the only way he can really start a life with her. But you know what I think?”
My heart comes to a halt in my chest, and I cough to cover up my gasp for air. Come clean? He can’t come clean. My nervous hands work to smooth my dress, and I school my features to feign composure as my gaze slides to Levi again. “Nope. Nor do I care.”
“He doesn’t really want to start a life with her because he’s still hung up on you, and I know you have feelings for him too. You admitted as much at the bar.”
My hand lands on my hip as I twirl on my heel to face him, my flushing skin betraying me as I attempt to look intimidating.
“Look, whatever you think you’ve figured out here, you’re wrong. This isn’t grade school. Steven and I are friends. There’s nothing else going on there. You don’t need to go making up drama where there isn’t any. It seems like you have enough real drama in your own life.”
Levi’s eyebrows shoot up as he points to himself and shakes his head. “Nope, not me. I don’t do drama. I keep things cool and casual.”
“Yeah?” I huff. Crossing my arms, I position myself next to him, then gesture with my head across the room toward the girl who’s mean mugging me. “You might want to tell that to Red over there. She’s been trying to murder me with her eyes this entire time.”
“Who, Roxy?” He lets out a nervous laugh, then sighs as he tries to casually look her way, giving her a sheepish grin when she cuts her eyes at him. She turns to walk away, and his shoulders slump as he turns his attention back to me. “She’s a little upset with me at the moment. But she’ll get over it, she always does. She’s like my sister.”
“Wow…” Blowing out a light whistle, I shake my head and pat him on the shoulder. “You are really clueless. Good luck with that.”
There’s a reason why it’s illegal to drink and drive: your brain isn’t running at full capacity when it’s absorbed with alcohol. It is not the time to be operating heavy machinery or making big life decisions. Like deciding to ask someone to marry you.
Eric and Brenden’s comments made me seriously question myself and my relationship with Cat, and then my pride got the best of me. I’m not entirely sure whether I was trying to prove something to them or myself.
Why did I have to open my big drunken mouth? Of course Brenden told Lizzy, and when she asked me about it, I couldn’t exactly tell her I hadn’t meant it—that I didn’t really want to ask her sister to marry me. I couldn’t imagine that would go over well.
Now, I’m wondering if word got out to Lori because she’s been behaving oddly toward me all evening. It’s like she’s been going out of her way to avoid me, giving me scowling glances from across the room. The few times I have managed to get close to her, I’ve been met with clipped tones and one-word replies. Though it’s no secret Lori doesn’t support the idea of marriage, it never occurred to me she might protest the idea of me proposing to Cat.
Maybe it has nothing to do with that at all. Lori’s obvious annoyance with me could stem from the whole Ashland Martin book situation. I’ve tried to be supportive, to sound interested and enthused when she talks to me about it, but I tend to go into panic mode every time. When she told me about all the publishers she’s been contacting, my chest got so tight, I couldn’t breathe. The farther Ashland’s story reaches, the more people who will be coming after Lori for telling it. I’m still the only person who knows what she’s been through, and even I don’t know all the details. I don’t think she’s ready for all the attention a national headline like this is going to bring her.
If she’d only give me the opportunity to speak to her, I could figure out what’s going on and try to fix things.
My eyes wander across the room where Lori is still sitting with Eric’s little brother. He whispers something in her ear, and her head falls back in laughter. She looks so incredible in her bridesmaid dress tonight. The smoky blue color makes her beautiful eyes pop. Even though all of Lizzy’s bridesmaids are in the same flowy gown, it seems to compliment Lori’s frame the best.
I’ve always liked Levi, he’s a decent enough kid, but Eric’s told me all about Levi’s little Casanova act, and I don’t care for him using it on Lori. Granted, she can take care of herself and would be quick to tell me so if I voiced my concern.
When Lori’s head is upright again, her gaze lands on me and her smile evaporates. Levi follows her line of sight, and his lips curve into a frown as well. What the hell? She says something to him as she hurries to her feet. Whatever she said causes him to shake his head and stand in her path as she tries to walk toward me. His back is to me and he’s blocking my view of her, so I can’t see what’s happening. The next thing I know, her hand is in his and they’re heading to the dance floor.
Several different emotions flood me all at once as I watch the two of them, my jaw taught with anger, my chest tight with worry, and my gut knotted with envy. The DJ is playing “Stay” by Rihanna as they dance close together—closer than necessary. Her arms are hooked around his shoulders, her eyes staring intently at him and head lightly nodding in understanding as he speaks quietly to her.
“Don’t worry. She can handle him.” Cat hooks her arm around mine as she steps up beside me, smiling brightly as I move my gaze to her. “You look like a lion ready to pounce,” she says. “But I think it’s good Lori is letting her guard down with Levi and having a little fun.”
Nodding, I return her smile, then give her a quick kiss on her temple. Cat is right, Lori does seem to be having a fun time. When it boils down to it, I’m jealous of Levi. “Do you want to dance?”
She grins. “I thought you’d never ask.”
Once we’re on the dance floor, I make it a point not to look in Lori’s direction, though I can sense her across from us. I’m quiet as we sway to the music, my mind wandering as Cat gushes about how happy she is for Lizzy.
She pulls back to meet my gaze, her features drawing as she studies my face. “Are you okay?”
I nod. “Yeah, of course. I think I’m tired from staying out late with the boys last night.” It’s not a lie, though it’s not entirely true either.
“You sound like Lori,” she sighs. Her eyes shift to my left, and her face lights up. “Levi!” The song ends, and she stops dancing as Levi and Lori step up next to us. “I’m looking to upgrade my dance partner, any way I can tempt you away from Lori here?”
“Hey,” I say, feigning offense as my gaze lands on Lori. Her jaw is ticking, her pleading eyes on Levi, widening with intent as he looks to her.
He shrugs, loosening his hold on Lori. “Sorry, love. You know I can’t say no to a beautiful woman.” His eyes narrow slightly as they move to me. “I’m sure Steven here will take care of you.”
A new song begins, and Cat giggles as she leans up to kiss my cheek, pulling out of my hold. Levi releases Lori, guiding her toward me before stepping away with Cat.
Lori still hasn’t met my glare, so I’m surprised when she allows me to pull her into my arms, wrapping hers around my neck in return.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” I say.
“No, I haven’t.”
“And you seem upset. Do you want to tell me what I’ve done?”
She shakes her head. “You’re being paranoid.”
“Okay. Maybe if you try looking at me when you say that, I might believe you.”
She groans, then leans back to lock her eyes with mine. “Everything is peachy,” she grits out.
“Did Julianna say something to you about last night?”
She shakes her head, but her nostrils flare with her deep breath, giving the truth away.
“Well…if she did, I just want—”
“If she had,” Lori sneers, “it wouldn’t matter to me.”
Her words are a blow to my pride, exactly as she’d intended, successfully ruffling my feathers. “Okay, fine. You want to talk about what’s going on with Levi? The two of you seem very chummy.”
She purses her lips, her eyebrows knitting together, and I know I’m not getting any information from her. We sway in silence for the rest of the song, her eyes bouncing from place to place to keep from meeting my stare. Once it’s over, she pulls out of my hold and hurries off the dance floor.