Friends
My body feels sluggish by the time I stand up from my desk and gather my things to go home. Sleep and I were not on speaking terms last night. On top of that, I ended up working through lunch, then stayed late to make sure I finished my article about the local soup kitchen. Every Thanksgiving they serve a big turkey dinner to help feed the hungry and homeless, and every year they struggle to find volunteers to serve them and the funds to purchase the food. It’s sad really, humanity’s unwillingness to help others. In my restlessness last night, I decided to write an article about it. I’m hoping it will inspire some people to be more giving this holiday season.
It also kept my mind off the Cat and Steven situation.
I wish I could say the fact that Cat is dating Steven wiped him and our brief yet impactful time together out of my mind. It’s not from my lack of trying, but after the three of us finished that awkward and extremely uncomfortable dinner, I’d left thinking my little infatuation with him was over—that I would finally be able to stop comparing every man I came across to him. It wasn’t, and I couldn’t.
It’s dumb, really. I don’t know what my issue is. Cat is happy, and it’s not as if I wanted Steven for myself. Still, there’s this feeling of agitation I can’t seem to shake.
As I make my way through the exit and into the parking lot, I dig into my bag for my keys and look around in search of my car. My footsteps come to a halt, and my stomach flips at the sight of the police cruiser and the man standing next to it. Steven.
Taking a deep breath, I straighten my posture and smooth my clothes before my feet begin to move again. He’s the last person I want to see or speak to right now, but given his involvement with my best friend, I can’t avoid him forever. We might as well get this inevitable conversation out of the way.
He appears a little ashen as I come to a stop in front of him, though it doesn’t do anything to dampen how unfairly sexy he looks in that damn uniform—his crossed arms causing his biceps to look as if they might bust through the seams of his sleeves. I thought cops like this only existed in movies. I wonder if people think he’s a male stripper when he shows up at their door.
“Do you always walk out here this late at night alone?”
Placing a hand on my hip, I scoff. What is the deal with this guy? I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself. I don’t need some man looking out for me.
“What can I help you with, Officer Duncan?”
He huffs out a laugh, his head shaking as it drops. He runs a hand through his hair before meeting my eyes again.
“I thought we should talk,” he says.
“Isn’t that what a telephone is for?”
“Would you have answered?” He lifts an eyebrow, and I press my lips as I narrow my eyes. “That’s what I thought.”
“So, tell me whatever it is you need to say.” I urge him to hurry with a wave of my hand. “I’m tired and it’s getting cold out here.”
He gestures to the cruiser. “We can sit in there. It’s warm. Have you eaten? I’m off duty, we could—”
“No,” I interrupt. My eyes close as I shake my head, my nostrils flaring as I take a deep breath then release it before opening them again.
“Okay…” His gaze falls as he rubs the back of his neck, looking as if he’s trying to gather his thoughts. When it meets mine again, my chest tightens. “I want you to know I really like Cat. She’s an incredible person.”
Biting the inside of my bottom lip, I nod my head and fight the urge to snap at him. If he came here to tell me Cat is a better human being than me, he’s wasted his time. The woman is a freaking bleeding heart, always wanting to help people and trying to take on everyone’s troubles as her own. She pretends to be a cynic like me when it comes to love, but in truth, she believes in true love and happily ever after. It’s no wonder she fell for the officer. Lord knows he’s got some good lines.
“But…it was you I was looking for,” he says. His words are like a knife twisting in my side, and I try to hide my quick intake of breath as he continues. “The day I met Cat, I was at the coffee shop where we first met, looking for you. You’d been ignoring my calls, and I thought if I could see you again…” his words trail off as he lets out an exasperated puff of air and tugs at the hair on his chin. “When I asked Cat out, it was only with the best intentions. I swear. I’m not the type of guy who dates one girl while chasing another.”
“I believe you.” His eyebrows lift, obviously as surprised by my admission as I am. His calls stopped around the time he met Cat, so I trust what he’s telling me.
His lips curve into a soft smile, and I frown, hating the way it made my heart flutter.
He clears his throat. “Good, so there won’t be any weirdness between us?”
I shrug and shake my head. “Nope. Why would there be?”
It’s not like the guy I can’t stop thinking and fantasizing about is dating my best friend. Oh wait, he is.
He laughs, the patronizing tone of it causing my lips to draw back into a snarl. “I guess I was worried the fact that my hands have been on your ass and my tongue down your throat might make things a little uncomfortable.”
I’ll admit, the boy scout caught me off guard with that remark. I nearly choke on my gasp, but there is no way I’m letting him get the best of me.
My tongue runs over my front teeth before it clicks, and I smirk. “Trust me, honey, there’re a lot of men in this town who can say they’ve done those things and more. It’s only a big deal if you make it one.”
My words leave a sour taste in my mouth. I’m not sure if it’s the hurtful, embarrassing truth I spoke about myself, or the lie that our night together didn’t matter to me. Steven needed to hear all of it, though. He needed to know the kind of person I am, so he’ll let go of our little moment. And he needs to believe that night meant nothing to me. Now, if only someone can convince me of that...
Once I see the smug look fall right off his stupid, handsome face, I turn on my heel and head to my car.
Her hair whips in the wind as she turns her back to me with a childish huff, her footsteps quick as she walks away.
My hands run through my hair as I question why I’d even bothered coming here in the first place. The woman makes it impossible to have a normal civilized conversation. What made me think this time would be any different? Honestly, I hadn’t put a lot of thought into it before I showed up here. After dinner last night, I couldn’t stop thinking about her—wondering why she is the way she is. It’s like the more she tries to shut me out, the more I want to break in.
At some point between my sleepless night and being distracted at work, I decided I should talk to her one on one again. I wanted another opportunity to see if I imagined the connection I felt between us. There’s no question I feel that on my end, but maybe she never felt it on hers.
Before she can get too far, I’m jogging after her, knowing I can’t let her leave without getting the answers I came for.
“Lori, wait!”
She shakes her head, looking over her shoulder long enough to shoot me an annoyed glance.
“Good lord, what do you want now?”
She’s forced to slow down as she reaches her car, giving me the chance to catch up with her as she unlocks her door. Not realizing I’m right behind her, she turns, nearly slamming right into me. When her eyes meet mine, I remind myself kissing her is not an option. As if reading my thoughts, her cheeks flush, but she quickly recovers, slipping her mask back into place.
“Jesus, creeper,” she says, taking a step back.
“Sorry.” I smirk, enjoying the fact that she seems so flustered. “I wanted to ask, since we’re pretending nothing ever happened between us—”
“We’re not pretending,” she interjects with a huff. “Nothing did happen.”
My jaw ticks, fury burning in my gut. We both know something happened—something so much more than anything physical. Just like I know she’s still feeling our connection now. But I’ve got a good thing going with Cat, and I’m not going to blow that up for someone who doesn’t want me. I came here wanting confirmation I was doing the right thing, and I got it.
“Right.” She narrows her eyes at the sarcasm in my tone, but I continue as if I hadn’t noticed. “And since there’s no weirdness between us, does that mean we can be friends?”
She groans, turning to open her car door before answering. “I’m not in the market for a new friend. Thanks, though.”
She throws her bag in the car, then climbs inside and attempts to close the driver’s side door, but I reach out to hold it open and bend down so I’m eye level with her.
“That’s too damn bad because you’ve got one anyway.”
She narrows her eyes as I stand again, pushing her door closed without another word. As I watch her pull away, the heaviness on my chest increases.
Friends? Why the hell did I say that? I think a part of me believed she would protest the idea, giving away her real feelings. But she remained cold and indifferent. The only thing it proved was how screwed I am.