Why would Tim allow himself to drink so much? He hated drinking. He hated everything it represented and what it did to his family. I hated what it was doing to him.

It wasn’t my responsibility to pick him up, but when Brody called me on his wedding night, I knew something had to have happened. One of Maggie’s friends recognized him from the wedding and called Maggie’s mom. Her mom called Maggie. Brody was going to come himself, but Maggie convinced him to call me instead.

Maggie knew I wouldn’t want Brody to deal with it on their wedding night, but I also knew Maggie had an ulterior motive behind it. Picking up my drunk ex-fiancé wasn’t going to make me fall in love with him again. If anything, it would make me run faster.

I needed to get him to the hotel, back into bed, and try to get a little shut-eye myself before I needed to be back at the airport. What was I going to do about him? We were on the same flight. He was in no condition to try to board a plane. They wouldn’t let him beyond the parking lot.

“Can we take our shirts off and have your boob up against my side?”

“No, Tim.” We had only walked one block. I still had two more to go.

“I miss you.”

I closed my eyes and swallowed. I missed him, too, but we couldn’t be together. I couldn’t be disappointed anymore. I needed to find love somewhere else. I wasn’t sure how I was going to do that.

“You see me every single day.”

“That’s work. I don’t get to see you naked there.”

He missed the sex. The sex was good. I had to give him that, but he didn’t miss me. He missed my body. All he talked about on the way back were my boobs and my vagina. He was never getting either of those things again.

“We’re halfway there. Just stop talking.”

“You told me to talk when we were together. Now you don’t want to hear what I have to say?”

“No, I don’t. You’re drunk, and you’re not going to mean what you say or even remember it. I just want you to shut up.”

“That’s rude.” He fought to get away from me and won. I hoped he didn’t fall or sit on the ground. I couldn’t pick him up if he passed out.

“I’m sorry. Will you please walk me back?” I put my arm out as if he was helping me.

He narrowed his eyes and pointed. “That sweet and innocent act doesn’t work on me anymore. Did it work on Mr. Dr.?”

“You know what?” I shook my head and walked away. “You are not my problem anymore.”

“Nope. And you’re not mine!” The second he yelled I heard the noise I was most afraid of hearing. He threw up. I stopped walking, tilted my head back, and closed my eyes. I hated I still cared about him, but how did you rip someone out of your soul? I took a deep breath and walked back to him.

“Come on. I’ll help you back to the hotel.”

He accepted my help even though he didn’t want it. I needed to get him back to the hotel before the final stage kicked in. I was hoping to get him back before he threw up, but since he had, it was imperative that I moved him faster. I couldn’t handle the sweet talk.

We’d just made it back to the parking lot when I felt his arm tense. At first, I thought he was going to throw up again, but I bit my lip when I realized he was trying to wrap his arm around me rather than just drape it across for balance. He was starting to turn sweet.

“Okay, this is as far as I go. Your room is right over there.” I pointed in the direction of his room and hoped he’d stumble into it.

“Stay with me.”

“No, I need to get some rest.”

He grabbed the back of my jeans when I turned to leave. “We can rest together. I’m sure we still fit.”

“No, Tim. We haven’t fit for a long time.”

“That’s my fault.” He let go of my jeans, and I heard the keys hit the cement.

I turned and stopped him from bending over. “You’ll fall. Let me open the door.” I bent down and picked up the keys but didn’t help him get to the door. I wanted to unlock it and open the door before he got there.

“You looked sexy in that dress.” He was shouting across the parking lot. “Too sexy.”

“Shh. Tim, keep your voice down.” I unlocked the door and opened it. I reached inside and turned on the light. When I turned back around, he was still across the parking lot. “Come on. You need to get some sleep.”

“No!”

I shook my head and propped the door open to go and get him. He took a couple of steps backward, so I stopped. “What are you doing?”

“When I go in there, you’ll leave.”

“We need sleep before the plane. You won’t even notice I’m gone.”

He walked toward me, and I wasn’t sure what to do. I wanted to walk to my room, but I didn’t want him to stop or lie down in the parking lot. I needed him safe inside his room. I waited until he was right up to me, but I wished I had left him there. What he said tore me in two.

“I’ve noticed every day since you left.” He leaned down to kiss me.

I placed my fingers between our mouths just before he pressed his lips against me. The hurt in his eyes was the first time I’d seen hurt since we broke up. If he had looked at me that way when I left him, I would’ve given him another chance. I had to remind myself it was the alcohol. Tim would wake up as the man I left. He’d wake up and be mean again. He’d wake up and realize he doesn’t love me and too much had changed between us.

He mumbled with his lips against my fingers, “You don’t want to kiss me?”

I wanted to kiss him more than anything in the world, but I knew I would just break my own heart again. I had to protect myself. I was the only one who could anymore. It didn’t mean I had to hurt his feelings, though.

“You threw up.”

He backed his head away and covered his mouth with his own hand. I wasn’t sure if he was going to throw up again or if he was embarrassed he tried to kiss me like that. Either way, I took the opening I had to get him into his room and get back to mine.

“Come on.” I grabbed his arm and pulled him with me. “It’s time you sleep this off.”

“I’m not tired.”

“You’ll pass out as soon as you hit the pillow. You always did.”

“Then I’ll stand all night.” He struggled to step up onto the sidewalk from the parking lot. I was sure he was seeing more than one, but he finally made it.

“Yeah, okay.”

I got him into the room and turned to go but stopped when he struggled to get his jacket off. “It’s hot.”

“Here. Let me help.” I grabbed the lapels of his jacket to center him and get him to stop moving. Once he was able to stand still, I slipped the jacket over his broad shoulders. He’d already loosened the tie, but I unbuttoned the dress shirt he was wearing. I tried to not look at the muscles I’d traced with my tongue before, but it was difficult. It had been so long since I had a taste of him. I shook my head and went back to work, blocking those images from my mind.

I pulled the shirt out of his slacks and continued unbuttoning the last couple of buttons. He placed his hands on my hips and leaned down to smell my hair. The grip on my hips tightened, and he pulled me closer. I wanted to be in his arms, but they needed to be sober. At that moment I didn’t care. I’d missed him so much. It would be the stupidest thing I’d ever done, but I needed to remember how he felt. I needed to have just a few more moments to hang on to. Had I known the last time I let him touch me would’ve been the last time, I would’ve remembered much more of it.

He leaned down farther and kissed my neck. I closed my eyes and moved my hands down his chest to his belt. I unfastened it and slid it out of his slacks as he moved to the other side of my neck. His hand reached up and cupped my breast. “What happened to us? We were so good together.”

I walked him backward to the bed. When the back of his legs hit the mattress, he fell back and took me with him. I pressed on the bed and lifted myself up above him. His eyes were hooded. His speech was slower and more mumbled. “I miss you.” He blinked. “So much.” I allowed his touch to linger on my face as I waited for the inevitable. It didn’t take long for his hand to fall away and his eyes to completely close.

I stayed above him for a few moments to make sure he was asleep. Once I was confident he was out, I lowered my body against his and placed my ear to his chest. It was the sound I missed to help me to sleep at night. A tear escaped and ran down the side of his body.

“I miss you, too.” I kissed his chest and left before I fell asleep.