I chuckled when April walked away. I didn’t suspect a rat, but something made a noise over there. I had just stacked another couple of chairs when she screamed. She sounded panicked not afraid of a rat.

“Tim!” I saw her run toward whatever she saw and scream for me again. “Tim! Help!”

I took off running and slid when I turned the corner. Briggs was on the floor convulsing. He had started to spit up. April was trying to get him to his side, but she couldn’t. I rushed to help.

“Do you have your phone?”

She patted herself. “No, I left it.”

I was holding him on his side so anything he spit up had a better chance of exiting his body than going into his lungs. “Take my phone out of my back pocket and call for help. Then, get inside and alert the crash team. I need them and the cart back here now.”

She ran after she took my phone out. I knew she was scared, but she held it together to get him help. I heard her giving the info to the operator as she ran through the storage door.

I looked back down to Briggs and prayed it wasn’t an overdose. I hoped he had an underlying condition no one told us about, but when I saw the empty baggie and straw by the wall I closed my eyes. I failed him. I didn’t see the signs.

The crash team took over and pulled me out of the tight space. “We’ve got him now. He’ll be okay.”

I stood and walked backward out of the area, unable to believe what I was seeing. I turned and saw something else I never wanted to see. Hank was holding April as she cried into his chest. I ignored them and went to the office. I had to make a call I never wanted to make. I had to call Briggs’ mother.

* * *

April and I sat in the waiting room of the hospital. We weren’t leaving until we heard what condition Briggs was in. Neither one of us said anything. She was trying her best not to cry with his family around, but a tear escaped every so often.

We answered what we could for the police, but neither of us had any information. We had no suspects and couldn’t say for certain if he got it off the street or at the center. I wasn’t sure how he could’ve gotten it at the center, but people had gone to extreme measures before to smuggle it in.

Hank stayed back at the center to see what he could find out there and to be available if any of the clients needed to talk. They all knew Briggs. They all knew he was a recovering addict, so they may have projected some of this back onto themselves. Hank wanted to make sure no one started to slip backward once the news hit. Briggs wouldn’t have wanted that, either.

Briggs’ mom was pacing the floor when the doctor came out. He tried to gather them to go to a private area, but his mom wanted to know. She wouldn’t go anywhere until he told her if he was going to be okay. April gripped my arm as we stood and waited for the doctor to speak.

“I’m sorry. Your son suffered a severe heart attack from his overdose. It’s led to a lack of oxygen in the brain and irreparable damage to the heart.”

His father wasn’t willing to give up. “What can we do?”

“There’s nothing we can do. The machines are keeping him alive, but it will be ultimately your decision when to let him go.”

His mom collapsed against her husband much like April collapsed against me. I picked her up and walked out of the hospital. His family didn’t need us there anymore, and April needed to be away from it as well.

I drove her home and listened to her sob in the seat next to me. I wanted to comfort her, but I wasn’t sure how. Empty words weren’t going to help.

I pulled into her driveway and she didn’t make a move to get out. I got out, went to her side, and pulled her out of the car. She clung to my side as I walked her up to her door.

“Where are your keys?”

She let go of me to fumble through her handbag. I took the keys from her when she pulled them out and opened the door. I wrapped my arm around her after we entered and held her while I locked the door. I was staying with her until I knew she would be okay.

I took her handbag from her and tossed it with her keys onto her table as we walked by. She understood what I was doing and kicked her shoes off as we walked down the hall. She grabbed my hand and led me to her bedroom. I kicked my shoes off at the foot of the bed and crawled in next to her.

When she lay on my chest, I wrapped my arms around her. I would lie there with her as long as she let me. As long as she needed me to. I wasn’t leaving for anything. If I were being honest, I needed to hold her as much as she needed to be held.

* * *

It was dark when I woke up. April was still on my chest, but her body was relaxed. She must have fallen asleep, too. It was nice to wake up with her in my arms again, but the reason for comfort was still unbearable. How did I miss the signs? I tried to run every conversation I had with him through my mind, but nothing other than a kid unsure of his future stood out to me.

He was on time every day. He did what he was told without question. There was no anxiousness or mood shifts that would’ve alerted me that he was using. How did he hide it so well?

“I missed it all, too.” April propped herself up on her elbow and looked at me. “I missed every sign to watch for. To me, he was just a kid who was afraid of the future. He was too afraid to fuck it up again. Why did he do it?”

I reached up and wiped the tears that had fallen. “I don’t know. I don’t think we’ll ever know. We aren’t addicts, so we don’t know how they think. We don’t know what they go through. Each one of them is different in their own way, so it isn’t as if we can just ask someone like Brody to shed light on it.

“Briggs knew what he was doing. He knew it was dangerous. Why he did it is a secret he’ll never tell now, but you cannot beat yourself up for this. You can’t.”

“You can’t, either.”

I took a deep breath. “I went to school for this.”

“You don’t think Hank went to school, too? He missed it. We all missed it.” She got up. “I’m going to the bathroom.”

I tossed the covers off and got out of bed. I needed to go, too. I walked to the bathroom in the hallway we passed on the way to her bedroom and looked at myself in the mirror when I stepped in. I shook my head. I let so many people down. I cursed myself as I finished what I went in there for and avoided the mirror when I washed my hands. I couldn’t avoid it forever, but I would avoid it for the rest of the night.

I stepped out of the bathroom and saw April looking around at the end of the hall. She turned when she heard me behind her. “I thought you left.”

“No, just had to—” I motioned behind me with my thumb. She didn’t want me to leave. I didn’t want to leave, either.

I walked toward her and held her face when I reached her. She gripped my shirt and looked into my eyes. I never wanted her more than I did at that moment. Briggs proved life was too short. I may never get another chance. I had to take it when I could.

I bent down and kissed her. Her grip got tighter on my shirt as she tried to pull me closer. She wrapped her arms and legs around me as I picked her up and walked her back to the bedroom. We never broke the kiss.

I set her down in front of the bed and we both went to work undressing each other. First, it was our shirts, and when she moved to unfasten my belt, I kissed her neck and unfastened her bra. She dropped her arms to her sides to let it fall off and went back to my jeans.

I cupped her breasts and pinched her nipples. I missed the weight of them in my hands. I squeezed and tried to commit to memory what her breasts felt like as I held them. She may never let me get close to her again. I needed to remember every detail.

I unfastened her pants and backed her up to the bed. I cupped her face again and made her look at me. I wanted to make sure she wanted it as much as I did. I didn’t want her to regret it. Her eyes held fear that I was going to stop or fear that I was going to continue. I wasn’t sure which. I got my answer when she put her hand into my jeans and cupped me. She rubbed her hand up and down over my underwear.

I kissed her and pulled her pants down over her hips. I squeezed her ass once it was free and continued to kiss her as I laid her down. I moved to her neck and kissed down her body, sucking one nipple into my mouth and pinching the other with my fingers. She arched her back.

I kissed down her belly and continued to slide her pants off the rest of the way. I burned the sight before me of her in her white lace underwear into my memory. My hands shook as I reached up to remove them. I’d wanted this for so long. I wanted to be back in her bed. I needed to be back in her heart.

I pulled the lace down and tossed it to the side. She was still as beautiful as I remembered. I had to taste her. I ran my tongue up until I reached her clit and flicked it a few times. She moaned. I did it again. And again.

I inserted my middle finger and moved it in and out. I wouldn’t pick up the speed of my hand or my tongue until she begged. I smiled when she got pissed.

“You like to torture me.” She tried to move her hips, but I slid my finger out. She growled her frustration. “Please, don’t torture me today. I need to feel good. Please, help me feel good.”

She was right. We both needed to feel good. I slipped two fingers in and curled up as I moved my tongue faster. She gripped my hair.

“Yes, just like that.” She gritted her teeth and whispered when I went faster, “Jesus.”

I didn’t let up. I wanted that first orgasm on my tongue. I wanted her to scream my name. Then, I wanted her to beg for more.

“Don’t stop. Right there. Oh, God!” Her back arched and I felt her walls around my fingers move as if they were searching for more. I had plenty more to give her.

I stood while she recovered from her orgasm and stripped the rest of my clothes off before sliding into bed on top of her. She was still breathing hard and her eyes were still half-closed, but she looked at me and spread her legs to accommodate my hips. I took the invitation and kissed her as I entered her.

She gasped against my lips and kissed me back. She wrapped her arms around me as I thrust in and out. I couldn’t get close enough to her. I needed to become a part of her.

“Faster.”

I placed my head on her shoulder and moved faster. I didn’t want it to end, but I hadn’t been with anyone since her and I wasn’t sure how long I was going to last.

She whispered into my ear, “I want to ride you.”

I rolled us over and she kissed me before sitting up. Her hands went to my sides as she found her rhythm. Once she was settled, she sat up and moved faster. Her eyes closed and she tilted her head back. “God, I’ve missed this.”

She didn’t say she missed me, but it was close enough. I’d get her to miss me, too. I held her hips and helped her to move as I watched her fingers rub over her clit. She was trying to kill me.

“Oh, this is so good.” Her legs started to shake and she held on to my hands as they helped her move. “Don’t stop. Don’t stop.”

She reached behind her and braced herself with her hand on the bed as the orgasm ripped through her body again. Her legs shook and I could see her belly tighten as the waves hit. She sat up, breathing hard again, and smiled down at me before lying on top of me.

“Fuck me.”

I didn’t give her time to kiss me when she looked at my lips. I flipped her over and got behind her. She got on her hands and knees and looked behind her as I guided my dick back to her. I saw her tongue lick her bottom lip before she bit it in anticipation. I gripped her hips and thrust forward.

She thrust back against me and moaned. Her third orgasm was building faster than the other two, but I didn’t mind. I wanted it to last forever, but I knew I wouldn’t. I didn’t have much left to give. I wrapped my arm around her and rubbed her clit. She put her face into the pillow and screamed. I thrust harder.

Her whole body shook as she gripped the sheets. “Yes! Fuck. Oh, God.” She whimpered at the end, and I found my release with her.