Kickstart my Heart (Emily)
“Oh, where do you go?” I ask, making polite conversation.
The ride moves again. It’s still loading new passengers, so we only go a short distance up the side of the track. Our cage swings back and forth when we come to a stop again, and I grab the padded bars in front of me. Steel doesn’t even look like he’s aware we’re moving.
Why does he keep talking to me? This, for some reason, is the third ride I’ve been on with him tonight.
There’s no point in denying that my skin tingles everywhere his body brushes against mine. This cage is cramped, and I’m pinned between Steel and the metal.
“We go all over. Since we’re small, we take a different route every year.” I can feel his eyes on me as he speaks, but I keep my gaze on The Gravitron that’s straight ahead of us.
“Huh, interesting. Have you been in the carnival long?”
“Ten years.”
My eyes widen, and I turn my head to look at him. Our eyes connect and a rush of something moves through me. What was that?
“Wow, that’s a long time,” I say, holding his eye contact. Even in the dark of the night, the blue of his irises is bright.
Our cage moves and stops again to load more people.
“It’s all I know.”
“So, what made you join? Couldn’t find a circus to run away and join?”
“Something like that,” he says smiling.
The smile once again transforms his face to utter gorgeousness, my heart flutters and I have to look away.
No one in Colmar looks half as good as him. Or even a quarter as good. Even Dylan, our high school’s heartthrob, is a smear on a shoe compared to Steel.
“Something like that? Like I’m sitting in a cage with an ex-con?”
Our cage moves and stops to load another pair of passengers.
“You know, carny code says you don’t ask a person about their past. It’s no one’s business.”
“Carny code?” I say laughing, “Do I have to follow your code when I’m not a carny?”
“Goldie, you’re so pretty, you can write your own code.”
“Then are you going to tell me?”
“Tell you what?”
“Why you joined?”
“I joined so I could travel to this town and meet you.”
I burst out laughing. “To meet me? You joined a decade ago.”
“It took me that long to find you, but I never gave up looking. I knew I’d find you.”
“Do you use that line on all the girls?”
The ride moves again, but this time it doesn’t stop. The noise of it creaking and groaning as we sped up is even louder than the thumping music.
Our cage swings more and more each second. One second it’s like I’m lying on my back, the next I’d facing the ground and locking my grip on the bars to keep me from falling on my face. Steel still hasn’t grabbed the bars, and sits like he’s on a chair at a dining room table.
But it’s stupid fun, and I can’t stop laughing.
We’re at the highest point, and our cage flips upside down, causing me to squeal. On reflex, I grab Steel’s thigh. The hardness of the muscle underneath his jeans draws my attention away from the ride.
He puts his hand on mine, and says, “Don’t worry, I won’t let you smash your face.”
I want to ask if many people smash their faces, but I’m breathless from being whipped around. At least, I think that’s why I’m breathless. It could also be from being locked in a tiny cage with a really hot guy. Even with a neck tattoo.
For whatever reason, the excitement, the flattery, the way it makes me tingle, I don’t take my hand from his leg, and keep it there the rest of the ride. It’s not because his hand is still on top of mine radiating heat into me.
We reach the bottom again, and Steel moves his hand from mine to my bare thigh. I’m laughing at the ride, when his touch immediately commands all my attention. Tingles are spreading from his hand and pooling between my legs. It’s wrong, but I don’t do anything to move it.
After a few more rotations, the ride slows and stops to let passengers off. I should take my hand off Steel’s thigh. I really should. But I don’t. He makes no move to take his hand off my thigh either.
We continue to chat as we’re waiting for our turn to get off. He’s easy to talk to, and we laugh and joke around. I still wish he’d tell me why he joined. It intrigues me.
“What makes someone drop out of society and live a completely different lifestyle?” I ask. I’m almost embarrassed by my question.
“Look how much fun I’m having. Every day’s fun. Life’s a party. Can’t you understand that?”
“I suppose. But, I don’t know. What about real life?”
“Real life? You mean running in a hamster wheel to pay bills? Thanks, but no thanks.”
“So you’ll never quit?”
“No fucking way. It’s who I am.”
Courtney and Maddie’s cage opens, and they get out. We’re next.
Steel looks at me and says, “We always have a party after the carnival closes, come join us. It’s just a few beers and a good time.”
“Beer? I’m not old enough to drink.”
He laughs, “That don’t matter for shit.”
“Thanks, I’ll think about it,” I say out of politeness. Steel may be gorgeous and charming and fun, but he’s a carny. As if.
“I serious, Goldie. Come find me.”
Our cage opens and I climb out and walk towards Courtney and Maddie.
“Enjoy the carnival,” Steel calls after me.
I look back at him and laugh. How many times has he said that tonight?
“What was that about?” Courtney asks, her lip snarled. For once, the Zipper has left her with disheveled hair.
“Steel came on the ride with me so I wouldn’t have to ride alone.”
“Ew. What’s with that guy?”
I don’t know Courtney, you mean, what’s wrong with him because he’s flirting with me over you? Who even cares, he’s a carny.
“He’s just joking around and having fun,” I say.
“Besides, who wouldn’t mind being trapped in a cage with someone as hot as him?” Maddie says.
“Exactly,” I say and laugh.
Maddie laughs too, and I hook my arm through hers.
“Whatever, you’re lucky he didn’t grope you,” Courtney says.
“He was a perfect gentleman,” I say. After all, I touched him first.
“A gentleman with a neck tattoo,” Courtney says, her nose twitching in disapproval.
“Lighten up,” I say.
“You just be careful, he’s scamming you for something. He probably noticed your Burberry dress and is going to try to get some money out of you,” Courtney says as we walk to the Scrambler.
“As if, Courtney,” Maddie says.
“Thank you, Maddie,” I say.
“Like the guy knows what Burberry is. He’s scamming you to get in your pants,” Maddie says and laughs.
“Well, he did say there was another reason he’s called Steel,” I say.
“Just be careful. Your father’s going to freak as it is, since everyone in the town has seen Steel single you out,” Courtney says.
“Yep, he’s going to freak when it gets back to him.” Because he always freaks. Still, there’s a weight in my chest, knowing the lecture that’s coming.
When we get off the ride, our cheeks are flushed from laughing so hard. Rides that fit all three of us are always the most fun.
Steel stands at the exit, with a stick of cotton candy.
“Hey, Goldilocks, you like cotton candy?” he says, holding out the stick to me.