CHAPTER TEN
ELLEN CASSIDY
I’m sitting in my apartment, feeling the hum of the past few days rush through me. It’s been one hell of a ride and I still feel a bit unbalanced. I’m curled up on my couch, waiting for the phone to ring. It might be Adam calling me, or it might be Cade. It might even be work, and at the moment, I’m not in the mood for any of it.
Instead of being dressed up, I’m in sweatpants. Instead of working hard or being sexy and witty, I’m slouching on the couch, watching bad TV. I should be helping out my mother or working extra hours. Something, anything.
Instead, I’m feeling flat out exhausted from the emotional roller-coaster. I’ve been proposed to, I’ve been wooed and taken out to dinner. I’ve also had my heart trampled over and over again. I’ve felt sparks fly with a man I can never have and I’ve felt the crushing guilt of the secret I keep close to my heart.
If I tell Cade that I’m going to meet Adam in private, he’ll tell me not to go. I know he will. He won’t want me to do it – he’ll worry about me giving everything up. Resentment curls around my heart.
We need to convince Adam and hiding from him is definitely not going to achieve that. I need to do what’s best, and what is right. I need to make sure that I give Adam the details he needs and make sure that Cade never finds out about the meeting.
I bite my lip. I also need to make sure that I stay as far away from Adam as possible after the meeting. He’s bad news. I can feel it in my bones. He might seem polite and friendly, but I sense danger. He’s done this before – he’s used to pulling people apart and I can’t have that happen.
I’m so caught up in my own thoughts that I almost jump out of my skin as the phone begins to ring. I clutch it in my hand as I try to still my beating heart, before I answer. I decide not to check the number before answering.
“Hello? Ellen speaking.”
“Ellen, it’s Adam Jones.” His voice, cool and soft and I don’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed.
Adam continues, “I was wondering if you were free later today?” His question is polite, but worry sparks across my skin. It’s my day off and the convenience doesn’t sit right with me.
“Yes, I might have some time this afternoon.” I answer, trying to keep the weary tone out of my voice.
He chuckles, “Great. Would meeting for coffee work for you?” He sighs, “I don’t know about you, but I am sick of being in an office day in and day out.”
“That works for me.” I feel myself relaxing, the phone call suddenly feeling so much less threatening.
“Great. Say about… three?” He suggests, a friendly tone in his voice.
I glance around at my apartment, the way I’m dressed in nothing but my dingy home clothes and I try not to laugh, “Sure, three is fine.”
“What about the new coffee shop on Main Street?”
I consider the place before nodding. It’s a lovely little joint, hip and fun and definitely not the sort of place I thought Adam would have liked. I’ll go along with it, though. Maybe I will learn something.
“Sounds great. What should I bring?” I ask.
“Just yourself and anything about the wedding.” He chuckles.
His words are friendly but I feel a tingle of apprehension move down my spine. Cade and I have discussed what we’ll be doing, when we’ll be having it, all the details that make for a really convincing story.
Still, it makes me nervous. I’m going into this alone, and I have no back up. I steel myself and smile, “Yeah. There’s so much to think about!” I laugh, trying to keep up the light-hearted vibe, the happy bride-to-be who is planning her wedding.
“I can’t even imagine.”
“Your wife didn’t have to go through this?” I find myself teasing him.
“I’m not married.” He smiles – I can hear it in his voice.
“No? A catch like you is still single?” I know that I am flirting. It feels different with Adam than it does with Cade. But it comes so easily with him. It’s so difficult to resist it. Anxiety swirls in my stomach at the thought of being alone with him. I’m going to blow it completely. I bite my lip and try to be more careful.
As if on cue, Adam answers, “I don’t want to offend your fiancé.” He’s teasing me in return.
I smile, “Oh don’t worry, I’m one hundred percent taken. I’m sure there are plenty of girls for you, Adam.”
When we finally put down the phone, I am left feeling shaky and a little breathless. I know that I need to be careful, but I find myself getting caught up in this web further and further. The more I struggle, the more tangled I become.
I need to be careful. My heart is pounding in my chest, but I’m not sure if it is from excitement or fright. I get up and go change.
I pick my outfit carefully – trying not to be too revealing. Professional, polished and pretty – that’s what I am going for. I change, slip into my heels and spend a few minutes on my hair and makeup. I also make sure to wear the ring. It only takes me a few minutes to gather up my paperwork and get it all ready for the meeting.
I glance guiltily at my phone. I’m doing the right thing. Cade would approve if he understood, but I don’t think he trusts me enough. Not yet.
The thought sends a pang through me as I step out of the door. I’ll show him. I’m making the right choice and I’m not about to mess up just because I’ve met another flirt.
Those kind of men are a dime a dozen, and I have had more than my fill.