BONUS EPILOGUE
KATE
TWO MONTHS LATER
The last notes of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star play out of a teddy bear before looping through for the fiftieth time. Never before in my life did I think I’d be so happy to hear those tinny notes. I rest my head against the recliner and close my eyes for just a moment.
Rest is rare, but in sweet moments like this, where little Beau is wrapped up in his favorite blanket and the house is silent save for the soft music, I don’t mind. Instead, my heart feels like it will explode and grow at the same time, an emotion I still struggle to comprehend.
Becoming a mother is nothing like I expected and everything I ever wanted. Sweet kisses and adorable baby laughs, bright blue eyes and tufts of dark hair, his father’s dimples and my nose. I could sit all day and just smell the top of his darling little head.
Watching Eric with our son is the most amazing part of all. The man who once terrified me became the biggest softie on the planet the day our son was born. As soon as they put him on my chest, I knew I’d fallen so deeply in love that I could never escape and I’d never want to.
Eric was more anxious, terrified he wouldn’t know what to do with a baby. When the nurse carried Beau over, he was pale as a ghost and afraid to move for fear of dropping him. Two minutes later, everything about him melted into little Eric-sized puddles and he couldn’t stop staring at the gorgeous little boy who had just been pushed from my body.
The gorgeous little boy who was made the night Eric told me I was a fever in his veins. The night I lost my heart to the man who I thought would end my whole world. In the midst of that fear and confusion, this perfect little boy came to life and changed our world in insurmountable ways.
I have never before been so grateful for sex. Now I thank the universe for it every day.
Beau yawns in my arms, his tiny mouth taking up his scrunchy little face, and snuggles into me. Tears prick at my eyes as I stroke his chubby cheeks and hum along with the only song that lulls him to sleep.
We rock like this for another four rounds of the song because I can’t bear to put him down. I need a shower and clean clothes, a glass of wine, and at least seven naps. The dishes need to be done and bottles need to be sterilized, but I want to savor this moment for as long as possible.
Lily pops her head in the room and smiles. She uses a series of comically complicated hand motions to ask if he’s asleep. I nod and smile back.
“Come on out.” She whispers. “You need a break.”
I steal one more gaze of my son before utilizing my newly developed ninja skills to get up and leave him still sleeping in his bassinet. It doesn’t always work, but he doesn’t move after I move him. I drink in one last glimpse and gently shut the door behind him.
“I did the dishes.” Lily tells me and hands me a glass of water. “All the bottles are in the sterilizer and the living room is tidied.”
“I love you so much I could cry.” I say, genuinely touched. “You didn’t have to do any of that.”
“That’s why Aunt Lily is here, crazy lady. I’m here to help however I can with my perfect nephew. Just, you know, not the diapers. Even Aunt Lily has limits.”
“I can’t say I blame you.” I grin. “Baby poop is terrifying. No one tells you this, but it’s truly terrifying.”
“Well, now you can go take a bath and a nap and forget little Beau’s disgusting butt action. Go relax! If he gets up, I’ll handle him. You’ve been going for days with Eric out of town, and you need to put your feet up.”
“I guess you’re right.” I do feel completely worn down. Eric tried to postpone his trip to New York, but some sort of emergency popped up and no one else was there to pick up the pieces. “I can’t thank you enough for coming over with him gone.”
“Yeah, yeah. Thank me later. Go take a bath.”
“I’d hug you, but I’m worried my smell will offend you.”
“It’s the thought that counts.” Lily winks at me. “Now go away. I’ve got some popcorn and terrible TV to catch up on. Pax keeps deleting Nights of Our Lives from the DVR and I am seriously behind.”
“All right, all right.” I concede. Popcorn and TV sound fun. Feeling like an adult again sounds wonderful. But so does hot water, and the desire to be clean wins.
I let out a low whistle when I open the bedroom door. It was a holy terror mess this morning, but the bed is now made and the laundry is all put away. A candle is burning on a bedside table, my favorite lavender, and all the exhaustion I carry in my shoulders melts away. That Lily, I don’t deserve her.
I step on something soft and look down. Rose petals lead me into the bathroom where a hot bubble bath waits. Tears of gratitude prick my eyes. The rose petals are maybe a bit much, but she knew how tired I was and this is the best gift I could have asked for.
Off come the sweatpants and the shirt covered in spit up. I slide into the hot water and feel immediate ease. I always found the answer to life in the water, but Beau made baths next to impossible. This is the rare treat that I really need.
She must have tossed a bath bomb in here, too, because everything feels silky and smells amazing. My eyes grow heavier the longer I sit, and soon I’m no longer in the bath tub, but on a balcony, dancing with Eric. Almost like the days I fantasized about him across a mediation table, except this time we’re tender and seductive, instead of domineering and cruel.
The moon is bright and the sky is perfectly clear. Frank Sinatra croons overhead and our bodies meld as we sway to the music. Having a baby seriously dampened our levels of intimacy, but being this close to him, dancing, is just as sexy as our times together naked.
“I’ve missed you.” Dream Eric whispers in my hair. His fingers rake across the exposed skin on my back. Dream Me still wears the sexy evening gowns. “The days were too long without you.”
“I missed you too.” Dream Me whispers back against his lips. I can feel his breath fuse with mine and the soft kiss of his eyelashes against my forehead. “The bed isn’t the same without you.”
“It won’t be empty anymore.” Dream Eric promises.
He kisses me softly, teasing my lips with his. I press him for more, but he only laughs quietly and leaves a tiny bite on my upper lip.
“What do you want?” He asks.
“You.”
Eric finally obliges, crushing my mouth with his. He’s dominating and powerful, but then slows down and kisses me tenderly. He tells me he loves me with his touch, lets me know how deeply he missed me with his tongue. Every kiss stirs the dormant places within my body awake, like I’ve been renewed. Shivers trip down my spine.
The weight of his hands against my head is so real I could cry. I know this is a dream, these kisses and these soft touches, but I miss him with my entire being. I just want him here.
“Kate.” Dream Eric whispers against me. “Kate, wake up.”
“I am awake.” Dream Me whispers back.
“Open your eyes.”
I slowly open my eyes. The water is still warm and soft against my skin, something sweet tickles my nose, and there is something in front of me that I can’t quite make out.
“Surprise.” A familiar voice says softly. He pulls back and Eric grins brightly at me. “Enjoying the bath?”
“You’re home!” I squeal and wrap my arms around his neck without thinking twice about getting his clothes wet. This is better than the bath. “I thought you weren’t coming home until tomorrow.”
“Finished early, told them all to fuck off because I needed my wife and my son. They’re sending over a few documents for me to review tonight, but I’m otherwise all yours for the next week.”
“This is incredible.”
“Not as incredible as you in this bath. Lie back, my love. I’m going to bathe you.”
“Bathe me?” I ask, a little coy. I run a finger down his arm because I can’t not touch him. He’s been gone for days and I’ve missed him so fiercely. “That sounds scandalous.”
“I live for scandal,” he says, cheeky.
Using a soft washcloth, Eric slowly washes every inch of me, starting with my feet, and massages my exhausted body along the way. It’s a heavenly, delicious feeling and I could almost fall asleep as he moves up my legs.
It’s only when he hovers over my center, still tightly wound from dancing with him in my dreams, that I feel awake. I try to slide closer to him so he can touch me, but he moves up my stomach and around the swells of my breasts. I never knew being bathed could be so erotic.
“Sit up.” He says softly and moves behind me. My body is at war between relaxation and arousal. “You’re so beautiful, Kate. This amazing body that carried our son inside, and now cradles him on the outside? Stunning.”
“It’s smushy and tired.” I murmur, eyes closed and lost in the nearness of him.
“It’s perfect.” He places a single kiss on the back of my neck that promises to ruin me. “Come, my lady.”
He offers his hand and helps me out of the tub. I’m wrapped in my favorite robe and carried to bed, Eric never turning his attention from me for a second. He lays me down gently, robe open, and presses hot kisses against my skin: my mouth, my collar bone, the valley between my breasts.
I watch his dark head slowly work down my body. He drags his teeth against my hips and sets my heart aflame. The closer his mouth gets to my center, though, the more panic I feel.
“Steady, my love,” he murmurs against my hip. “It will be okay.”
“Things have changed.” I whisper. “Your son was a beast, remember?”
He runs a finger over my swollen pussy lips and I can’t suppress the moan. He repeats it again and my legs fall open, granting him the access my anxiety wants to deny. He gently opens me up and runs two more fingers against my exposed wetness.
“It’s just as beautiful and delicious as ever.” He says, his voice husky and deep. Eric’s voice drops when he’s turned on, and it, in turn, arouses me all the more. “There is nothing wrong with you, Kate. You have everything, everything, I could ever want.”
The flat of his tongue engulfs my tender flesh and my chest seizes, my vision blurs. Every fear I have melts away in an instant. I no longer fight him, but leave myself exposed and ripe for his pleasure.
“That’s my good girl,” his voice rumbles against my clit and it steals my breath.
His mouth finds all the spots I thought disappeared. Every place his teeth would make me moan, or the places where a flick of his tongue would send heat flooding through me, are as vibrant as ever.
Eric’s hair tickles the inside of my thighs as his mouth makes love to me. He kisses and sucks, licks and nibbles. He treats me like a piece of fruit grown just for him. Every touch is sweeter than the last.
I try to watch him. I love to see his eyes burn through me while he licks and fucks me, but the pressure mounts and floods through me. It’s been so long since he’s touched me this way that my body is unable to handle the intensity.
“Eric.” I breathe between moans. I don’t know what I need to say to him, I just want to know he’s here, that he’s real.
He slides his hands underneath me and pulls me in closer to him. There is no escaping the pressure of his tongue. He destroys me and rebuilds me with every kiss and every flick of his tongue. I close my eyes and lose myself to the sound of him grunting softly.
A memory flickers through my mind, a view of him stroking himself when he licked me during our first time together. I remember how sexy it was to see him so worked up over the act of pleasuring me.
I pry my eyes open and see him lying on his side, one hand under me, but the other now gripping his cock as he licks me. It is all I need to lose myself totally to the surging electric current in my veins.
My body shakes and shivers under him as my mind goes blissfully blank. He presses harder against me, licking up every bit of juice my body releases through the orgasm. It’s sharp and powerful, my first real, earth-shattering one after giving birth, and it is everything I ever wanted.
I collapse against the pillow, breathless. His tongue travels across my swollen lips once more and causes my entire body to shiver. I reach for him, still magnificently erect in his hand.
“This was for you.” He grunts, voice tight and straining. “My pleasure is secondary.”
“I want this for you.”
I roll over and down the bed before he can protest. I take his length in my mouth all at once, the head hitting the back of my throat. Eric’s groans become more prominent. He works his base while I suck on his head, savoring the feel of him again in my mouth.
He’s already done most of the work, so every suck and lick against his cock makes him jump and twitch. I gently press against the space behind his balls and take all of him again. Like magic, Eric grunts and moans through an orgasm that shoots down my throat. I drink him in until he, too, collapses against the bed.
He pulls me back to the pillows and covers us in blankets. We snuggle together, naked, for what feels like the first time in months. It’s my favorite feeling in the entire world. Nothing can touch us here.
“I missed you.” I breathe softly.
“I missed you, Kate,” he murmurs against my neck. “Sleep, my love. Sleep.”
We lay entwined under a heavy duvet, our son sleeping a room away, and naked bodies reacquainted with one another. There is nothing on this earth I could ask for that would be more perfect than this.