Chapter 16

Gavin

I was almost running late—and I felt like a jackass because of it. All my prepping for our date tonight was nearly ruined by the fact that I’d had to keep my two best friends from killing each other. But if I were Collin and had walked in on Max having sex with my little sister, I probably would’ve punched him out too.

I wasn’t choosing sides this time. Not when Collin was a mess over the fact that Addie’s mom had died this afternoon and he couldn’t be there with her when it all went down. And not when Max said he’d never back down, that he was in love with Lia.

My buddies had issues to work out, but I was going to steer clear of them. I had my own life to attend to now. And for once, I was gonna be selfish.

Luckily, McKenna was good with me showing up at seven. Supposedly, she’d taken a nap and overslept. I wasn’t entirely convinced she hadn’t overslept on purpose to avoid spending the evening with me, but I didn’t bother pointing it out. If I did, she’d probably use that as another excuse to run from me. And again, I needed to trust her as much as I wanted her to trust me. Especially since I wanted more out of this than just a few good nights of sex.

When I stood to get out of her car, the front door to Kenna’s complex flew open. “Jesus Christ,” I whispered, a hand clamped like a vise around the top of my door when I caught sight of her.

Wearing high heels and dressed in a flowing, peach-colored dress with one shoulder exposed, Kenna was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.

“If you don’t plan on feeding me tonight,” she grumbled, heels clipping the concrete as she walked toward me, “then we need to head to a drive-through before—”

I jogged to meet her halfway, cutting her off with a kiss. One hand in her hair, the other gripping the nape of her neck tightly… God, I needed her. All of her. Last night and today had only amplified that feeling.

She sagged against me as if she’d been waiting to be held—waiting for my arms. I grabbed her around the waist with one hand, using the other to keep hold of her neck. Our lips moved slowly, a savoring kiss that had my chest going tight. I could kiss this woman forever, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Smiling, I pulled back and rubbed my knuckles down her flushed cheek. “Hi,” I whispered, only to say, “What kind of date would this be if I didn’t feed you?”

She scrunched up her nose, eyes twinkling. “The worst.”

“Come on, then.” I motioned my head toward her car and opened the door.

She jumped right in, her hips grazing mine. “What’s this?” she asked, leaning over to find the box I’d left on the floorboard.

“Told you I’d replace them.”

Turning around with the box pressed against her chest, she looked up at me with the widest, wettest eyes. “You replaced my dishes?”

I scratched at the back of my head, wondering why I’d made her cry. “Are they the wrong color or something? I saved the receipt in case.”

“No.” She quickly shook her head, then opened the white set I’d picked up from Target earlier. “They’re perfect.”

“Then what’s wrong? Why’re you crying?”

She blinked, and a tear fell down her cheek. “It’s just that nobody has ever bought me anything like this before.”

I cleared my throat, nervous. “Is that a good thing?”

She nodded, a small smile pulling at the side of her mouth. “Very.”

“Good.” I dropped a kiss onto her forehead and urged her leg inside the truck with my knee, waiting for her to buckle before I shut the door.

It was as if I’d given her the world by replacing those dishes. It made me want to buy her more. Cups and silverware, a new kitchen table… Hell, I’d build her an entire new kitchen if I could. McKenna wasn’t greedy, but I somehow knew she was a woman who hadn’t been treated right. I wanted to do everything I could to make up for that.

“Where are we headed?” she asked as I pulled out of the parking lot.

“It’s a secret…” That I’ve been keeping from everyone. I trusted her, and more than anything else, I wanted her to know that. And because I wasn’t good with words, and feelings, shit like that, sharing this part of my life with her, when I hadn’t shared it with anyone else, was one of the only ways I could show that trust.

I pulled her hand onto my lap.

“I’m not a fan of secrets.” Her voice cracked as she looked out her window.

“I’m not a fan of keeping them either.” I kissed her wrist, speaking against her skin. “Which is why I’m going to show you something I’ve never shown anyone else.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why show me? I’m nothing to you, Gavin.”

“What?” As I pulled onto the interstate that headed toward Arlo, I glanced at her from the corner of my eye. “How can you say that?”

She shrugged, still not answering. What had happened from the time we’d gotten into the car until now?

“Kenna. Are you trying to push me away again?” My teeth clenched at the thought.

“No.” She sighed, squeezing my hand this time. “What I’m asking is, why share this secret with me when you hardly know who I am?”

Because you’re everything to me. That’s what I wanted to say. Not just by kissing her and touching her, but by showing her pieces of myself that nobody else saw. But expressing myself verbally was like drowning in slow motion. Inevitable, painful. Nothing I’d wish upon anyone.

“Forget it. We’re just going to eat dinner, that’s all.”

Distracted, I set my foot to the accelerator, distancing my feelings from her as we cruised the road. God, one step forward, fifty steps back. That was my life with this woman, and it killed me.

The tree-covered road was nearly dark when I finally made the turn down my lane twenty minutes later. Fear of a deer running out in front of us had me turning on my brights.

“It’s creepy down here,” she eventually said.

“Arlo’s not a real populated town.” With its one convenient store, it barely counted as a place to live. “It’s why I like it.” I shrugged and turned down my drive, the gravel sending small pings against my wheels.

“You like to be alone, don’t you?”

“Yup.”

“Why?”

I glanced at her, still agitated, though more at myself than her. I knew it was just a question, her asking why I bothered to care. But damn, if it didn’t send my mood down further. I liked this woman. A whole lot. More than any woman I’d been around in a long while—if ever. She got me when I didn’t even get myself, made me laugh when I had nothing to laugh about. Most of all, she made my heart feel heavy and desperate for things I’d never wanted before.

“It’s just who I am. I was alone without anyone but my uncle until I was ten. He attempted to homeschool me, when he wasn’t liquored up or sleeping. But even though I stayed up to date on schooling, I still had no idea how to talk to people.”

In high school and college, I didn’t have many friends. It was safer that way. Fewer friendships meant less pain if they left me. But as much as I tried to keep that mind-set, everything changed when I met Max and Collin.

“That’s really sad.”

I pulled into my driveway. “Maybe. But I didn’t know any better. It wasn’t until I met Max at boot camp, and he wouldn’t leave me alone, that I realized having friends was better than being alone.” I met Collin that same week, and the three of us had been friends ever since.

“What about your parents?”

My body tensed as I pulled my key from the ignition. The only sound around us was the summer night outside—crickets, an owl, and the rustle of branches. “What about them?”

She fidgeted in her seat, hands flexing and unflexing. “They died, didn’t they?”

“Yeah.” Frowning, I reached into the back seat, grabbing the blankets I’d brought for our makeshift picnic inside.

“Well, I meant—”

“They’re dead. Not sure what else you want to know.”

She flinched and stared down at her lap. “I’m sorry. I was just trying to piece things together.”

“Can’t be sorry when you don’t know what you’re missing.”

That was a lie. Because even though I was little when they died, I could still smell my mom’s perfume when she hugged me, and I could still feel the pressure of my father’s hand as he patted the top of my head. Yeah, I barely remembered their faces—had a couple of scratched-up pictures to remind me when I wanted to remember—but that was nothing to me. Those people were strangers. Their spirit would always feel real to me.

I went to open the door of my Suburban but stopped short when she grabbed my arm. “Gavin, I…” She sucked in a breath, her face pained as she studied mine.

“What is it?”

“I really am sorry. It’s just that I got some not-so-good news about my little sister this afternoon, and I’m kind of on edge about it.” She shook her head. “I promise I won’t ask again. About them. Or your past. Unless you want to talk about it.”

I frowned. “Everything okay with your sister?”

“Yeah. It will be.”

I studied her in the near dark, just able to make out her features. Something shifted in her face as she spoke, and the longer I looked, the more I wanted to know the secrets lurking behind her pretty eyes. I wanted to heal her sadness and piece together the broken parts of her that she rarely showed me.

My throat burned when she smiled, because it wasn’t a real smile. Not like the one I’d seen when I gave her those stupid dishes, or when she was rambling on about names for my dick in that elevator. And not like the one I’d seen on her lips postorgasm either. This was the smile of a girl who didn’t want to smile, and it tore me up.

* * *

McKenna

With his hand in mine, Gavin led me inside a tiny house set back from a long driveway. Behind it sat the Mississippi River in all its quiet brilliance, shining silver in the moonlight. I opened my mouth, wanting to ask if we could go stand next to the edge to study the stars and the slight ripple in the water. But I’d messed everything up with my crying, my rudeness, and my fear of opening up to this man, despite how badly I wanted to. At this point, I was nothing more than an unappreciative piece of garbage—an unappreciative piece of shit who held more secrets than a Maury Povich guest.

I was going straight to hell at this point.

Inside the door, Gavin clicked on a number of battery-powered lanterns. About seven in total, from what I could count. On a small table nearby sat two empty glasses and a wine bottle.

Wine.

Pregnant.

Baby.

“Shit,” I whispered under my breath, my hand automatically going to my abdomen.

“Thirsty?” he asked, walking to the table and, thankfully, not hearing me. I looked down at his hands when he turned around few minutes later, finding two full glasses there. I gulped, wondering if I could get away with a sip—or at least pretend to.

“McKenna?” He dipped his head to the side.

“Huh?”

He held my glass out. “I asked if you wanted some wine.”

My throat grew hot as I swallowed, but I somehow managed to speak. “Um, actually, do you have any water? I’ve been trying to cut back on my, uh, wine consumption lately.” Lame, K. So lame.

Gavin placed the full glass down on a piece of plywood set across the top of two sawhorses. “Sure. Water it is.”

Through the lights, I watched him, wondering how a man of his stature—so tall, so built—could move as if he had wings attached to his back.

He opened a blue cooler, the sound of ice rustling in front of him. I took the moment to compose myself, eyeing the small, cozy space. The entire place was a work in progress. An open layout, plywood floors, exposed walls with the plumbing still visible. In its own way, though, it was beautiful. Natural. A new beginning.

“Here you go.” He stood in front of me and pushed a water bottle my way.

“Thank you.” Our fingers grazed as I took it from his hand. Tiny sparks jumped up my arms and I shivered again.

“Welcome to my home away from home.” He spread one arm out. The unsure smile on his face was so endearing that I couldn’t help but grin back.

“It’s really great.”

“You don’t have to lie. I’ll still feed you even if you think this place should be set on fire before I bother fixing it up.”

I poked him in the ribs, then uncapped my water, turning to look at other parts of the home. “Once you get it fixed up, it’s going to be great.” I pointed at the open area to our right. “That will be the family room. I can see a big screen on the wall and a sectional that will take up half the space.” I walked to where I pointed, careful to step over the drop cords running across my path.

Footsteps sounded against the floor as he moved to stand at my side again. “That right?”

“Uh-huh.” I smiled, imagining him watching a football or baseball game in there—drinking his beer and being all…sporty. “It’ll be all…man-ish.”

“Man-ish?” He quirked a brow, looking adorably delicious.

“Yep.” I grinned and glanced to the left, finding a small area with an exposed toilet. “And obviously there will be walls surrounding the bathroom, but I can picture a Jacuzzi tub inside the bathroom. Then when you’re done with the game, you can soak in it.”

“Guys don’t soak. They shower, wash, shave, and be done with it.”

I nudged him with my elbow once more. But before I could pull away, he grabbed my hand and interlocked our fingers, a sweet smile on his gorgeous face.

On instinct, I reached up to tug on his beard, grinning. “Don’t shave. I like this too much.”

He took a step closer, his face mere inches from mine, our thighs pressed close. “For you, Kenna”—he leaned forward, rubbing his bearded cheek against my cheek—“I’ll never shave again.”

I shut my eyes, inhaling the scent of his skin, woodsy and warm, perfect. If I could sneak into his shower when he wasn’t looking and steal whatever soap he used, my life would be complete.

“Now.” He pulled back just enough to kiss the tip of my nose. “Where were we?”

The space between my thighs grew warm with need at his gravelly voice. God, he’d asked me a question, yet I had no damn clue how to answer it without begging for a quickie, right then and there.

But then my stomach growled.

One side of his mouth lifted into a grin. “I promised to feed you.”

“Hmm, you did.” But for Gavin, I’d forgo food for sex in a heartbeat.

“Come on.” He winked as if he knew exactly where my dirty mind had gone.

We moved in front of a set of glass doors, his hand lingering on the intricately designed knob. “This is where the magic happens.” He waggled his eyebrows. A playful Gavin made for one hell of a gorgeous sight.

I sighed, wondering how I was going to make it through the rest of the evening without tossing my no-sex rule out the window.

Though that rule had already been broken this morning on my kitchen counter.

There again, that was oral sex, not sex sex, and I—

Before I could finish my thoughts, he opened the doors, showing a three-season porch to die for.

I gasped. “Oh my God.”

He flicked on another couple of battery-powered lanterns to our left. “That a good oh my God or a bad one?”

“Very good. Did you do this all yourself?”

He nodded. “It’s why I was late for dinner the other night. I was just supposed to swing by and drop off some tools, but my new permit was actually up, and I… Shit, I just got carried away.”

“You weren’t that late,” I reminded him as I stepped farther into the room. To my right sat a chocolate-brown leather sofa that looked well loved. In front of it was a coffee table made with the same ceramic tile that covered the floors. I wondered if the table was homemade.

The walls to our left and right were lined with pine, while the wall in front of us was nothing but windows. The steepled ceiling held a long fan that probably was not hooked up if he didn’t have electricity yet. In the corner of the room, I saw the makings of a wood-burning fireplace, unlit, unfinished, and detached from the wall. A chimney drew down from the ceiling, unattached as well.

“This is extraordinary.” I looked back at him, watching as his cheeks turned pink. It was adorable. Gavin was adorable.

I walked toward the window, pressing a palm to the glass. The dark backyard was alive with lightning bugs, and beyond a few trees, I could barely make out the river.

“Sit,” he ordered from behind.

“Bossy much?” I smiled and turned anyway, finding the blanket he’d been carrying over his shoulder spread out over the sofa.

“Sorry. I don’t mean to be a dick. I just—”

“Hey.” I grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. “I’m kidding.”

The tension in his shoulders eased with my words. Then he nodded, exhaling, making me feel a little guilty for teasing him.

Wordlessly, he began pulling things out of a picnic basket and placing them on top of the table. I took off my heels and settled them at the end of the couch before easing down on it.

“I’ve got cold chicken, homemade bread, courtesy of Max, and some other stuff I picked up at the store today.” The last things he pulled out were strawberries and pickles.

My eyes widened a little at the view. It was a pregnant woman’s dream.

“This is amazing, Gavin.”

“Hmm,” he mumbled his familiar response, sitting beside me to dish up our plates. It didn’t matter that the thought of cold chicken made my stomach want to turn in on itself. I’d eat this, and I’d eat it all—then I’d ask for seconds, because nobody had ever done something like this for me before. This was almost as romantic as the dishes.

“Thank you for bringing me here,” I added.

He shrugged. “I don’t really go out a lot. Hate being around crowds. So, this is how I roll when it comes to dating.”

Dating.

The simple thought of him bringing another woman here had my blood running hot with jealousy. I turned my face and pretended to focus on something outside. “But you go to O’Paddy’s. And you went to Jimney’s too.”

“On occasion. But I usually have to be pretty fucked up to deal with it, or it has to be a weeknight.”

I frowned. “Because of the noise.”

“A little. But it’s mostly because of the crowds and tight spaces. I’ve always had issues with being around people.”

“What about being a marine?” I turned, reaching for something to eat as my stomach growled again. “Didn’t that, you know, set you off even more?”

I brought a drumstick to my mouth, taking a small bite. It was greasy, salty, and everything I’d loved pre-pregnancy.

“In some ways. The death, destruction, war in general messes up a man.” He brought his bottle of water to his lips and took a sip, only to stare out the back wall of windows as I’d done. I loved how he’d passed on the wine too. “But other shit happened during my childhood that sent me over the edge before that.”

I swallowed hard. “Like…?”

“It’s not something worth sharing.” He looked to the floor.

“How would you know what I want to hear and what I don’t, hmm?”

“Wouldn’t that be too personal?” He glanced up at me again, a tiny grin on his lips.

I knew he was only teasing, but his comment hit too close to home. The truth I needed to tell sooner rather than later was sitting there on the tip of my tongue. Yet getting it out was like pulling teeth.

“How about we do a comparison?” I asked.

Setting his chicken down on the paper plate, he leaned back against the couch, pulling me with him, an arm around my shoulder. The move was so natural that I didn’t even think twice. “What do you mean?”

“Meaning, I tell you something crappy that happened to me, and you try to one-up me with something even crappier.”

“This sounds like fucking torture.” He groaned.

I laid my head on his shoulder, wondering if the time would ever be right to tell him the truth. “Maybe.”

Warm breath cascaded over the top of my head as he set his chin on top. Strands of hair scattered across my forehead with each of his exhales. Honestly, I didn’t think he’d follow through with it. Digging deep would mean exposing himself to vulnerability, something I tended to avoid myself. But he was the father of my child, and soon he’d know. I just… I needed to know the man who’d be my second half. Even if he could never be mine.

“How about I go first?” I traced my finger over the V in his shirt. The gesture wasn’t meant to be sexual, but a small shiver ricocheted throughout his body, regardless. Whether he was aware of it or not didn’t matter; it soothed me to know I made him as uneasy as he always did me. Not in the uncomfortable sense, but in the sense that every second longer we were together, new feelings and sensations were beginning to ignite.

“Go for it.”

“Okay. Hmm.” I paused for dramatic effect. “When I was eleven, my mother called me an unappreciative bitch because I told her I didn’t feel like eating the dinner she cooked.”

Gavin’s arm tightened around my shoulder, but he didn’t respond. I was thankful for it; otherwise, I might not have been able to finish.

“I’d told her my stomach hurt, but she said I was faking.” Among other unmentionable words… “I was up all night, crying in pain. It wasn’t until I started throwing up blood that she decided maybe she should take me to the hospital after all.” I scoffed, pulling my thumbnail to my mouth. Around it, I mumbled, “Turns out I had appendicitis.”

“Jesus,” he whispered, kissing the top of my head, only to rub the back of his hand down my cheek.

“Jesus obviously had nothing to do with me.” I laughed and shook my head, hating the bitterness in my voice.

“I’m sorry, McKenna. You deserved better.”

I shut my eyes at his simple words. People had apologized to me countless of times, but coming from Gavin? It felt different.

“Your turn.” I poked him in the stomach, lifting my leg over his.

A beat passed before he spoke. When he did, the sound of his voice was hoarse. “Wanna know the real reason I can’t stand small, tight spaces?”

My throat closed off. Suddenly, the idea of this game scared me for reasons that had nothing to do with me. “You don’t have to tell me. We can talk about something else. This is kind of depressing, actually.”

“I do want to tell you… That’s the thing.” He blew out a shuddering breath, a humorless chuckle leaving his mouth. “You’re the first person I’ve ever wanted to tell.”

I nodded slowly, taking in his admission. I didn’t deserve his secrets, but selfishly, I wanted to know them all. “Okay. Then tell me.”

He paused before letting his hand fall to his lap. “When I was nine years old, about a week after my parents died, I came to live with my uncle. It was the middle of winter and…”

I reached over and grabbed the ends of his fingers, no second thoughts as I settled them over my heart. They shook, but the rest of his body relaxed as though the movement soothed him.

“The guy… Christ, Kenna. He used to lock me in a tiny storage shed at night.”

I squeezed his hand in reassurance. “Take your time.”

He dropped his head back against the couch and shut his eyes as I lifted my chin to look up at him. I watched as his Adam’s apple bobbed, wishing I could reach inside him and wrap myself around his heart just to protect it.

“For nine to ten hours a night, I would be forced to stay inside that thing because he said he couldn’t stand all my crying. I didn’t know this dude. I’d just lost my fucking parents, yet he was pissed at me, saying I ruined his fucking buzz with all my bawling.”

“Oh, Gavin.” I snuggled closer, tucking an arm through his. My lips began to tremble, and several tears escaped my eyes.

“It was too much for him, you know?”

There was absolutely no excuse for what the man did. He was certifiable. And had I known where he was, I would’ve gotten in the car and driven to his house and…and… God, I would’ve killed him. And I didn’t even know the whole story yet. But I’d keep that inside for now, wait for Gavin to finish. He obviously wanted to get this out, and I would be the ears he needed, no matter how badly my emotions raged.

“He said I was a sissy, that he never wanted me in the first place. Told me every fucking night before locking me out there that he’d hoped I’d freeze to death, so he didn’t have to deal with me anymore.”

My tears grew thick. Ugly and angry for the boy who’d deserved the world. “Why did he keep you?” I managed.

“Money. Life insurance. I don’t fucking know…”

I bit my lip to curb the noises in my throat.

“Every morning, for three months, he’d wake up and find me alive. I’d cover myself in anything I could find just to keep warm. Used garbage bags, boxes, shop towels, shit like that.” He laughed, but the sound was ominous. “I used to hide inside an old gardening wagon. Then I’d cover my hands in the worn-out gloves, waking up every hour just to switch them to my feet, or back to my hands. I never showered. I never got clean clothes…”

“Gavin.” I muffled my cries in his shirtsleeve, hating how I couldn’t be strong for him. But even as I cried, he kept going, letting it out like a nest of bees escaping from a hive.

“During the day, he’d let me come in. Feed me even. He always fucking apologized. Promised not to do it again. And then he’d go to work. But after work, it would all just…start over. A fucking endless loop.”

I sniffled, wiping my face on my bare shoulder. “Did you ever try to run away?”

A nod. “Once. Around the last week of the third month. Just so happened that he was sick that day and came home from work early.” Gavin snorted under his breath, laying his cheek on my head. “He was so pissed that he stopped letting me inside the house during the day. Then at night, he’d shine this huge fucking spotlight into the shed and blare heavy metal music at me. Called it my punishment.”

Unable to take another second, I sat up and straddled his lap. I snuggled as close as I could against his chest, wrapping both arms around his waist. With my ear against his chest, I could just make out his racing heart.

One of his hands came up around me to stroke my spine as he finished. “The music was so loud one night that someone a mile up the road heard it and called the police. My uncle was passed out drunk inside, and when the cops came to turn off the music, they found me.”

Minutes passed, but neither of us bothered to move—other than the occasional stroke of Gavin’s hand down my spine. We were wrapped in each other, emotionally spent. Physically worn. Beaten, yeah, but not broken. Never in my life had I had such an urge to kill and comfort at the same time.

“What happened?” I asked.

“What do you mean?”

“To you. To your uncle…”

His warm breath blew against my forehead as he sighed. “Guy went to jail. I went into the system.” He shrugged. “That wasn’t even the worst part of my life growing up. I mean, it was shitty. Pretty much scarred me. But the thing that sits with me the most is the fact that I saw my foster brother put a gun to his head and kill himself.”

“No,” I cried, pressing my forehead against his. He squeezed his eyes, yet hugged me even closer, as if the thought of letting me go was painful.

And truthfully, I couldn’t stand the thought of him doing it either.

“It was my last foster home. I lived with the Andersons from the time I was fourteen until I graduated from high school. The ones I told you about the other night.”

I nodded.

“They were an older couple. Could never have kids of their own.”

“Were they good to you?”

“Yeah.” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Mr. Anderson and my foster brother introduced me to Little League. I caught right on, and by the time I was fifteen, I was playing varsity.”

At the thought of Gavin playing ball, of being happy with something as a teenager, I couldn’t help but smile through my remaining tears. Even knowing how this story ended, I liked the thought of him finding one thing in life that made him happy, even if it hadn’t lasted long. “Anyway, I got really close to Adam. My foster brother. But…he was a cutter. Always ripping up his skin. Said it helped him feel better.”

I flinched, remembering a time in my life when I’d contemplated self-harm. I had nobody as a teen, and my parents were like dictators who rarely spoke to me, other than to punish or insult me. So, cutting myself seemed like it might be a way to gain some control in my life. In the end, I chose another route. One that stuck with me until adulthood. I picked the worst kind of men there were and pushed them in my parents’ faces any chance I got.

Now, neither of them cared if I was dead or alive.

But I didn’t tell Gavin that. This was his moment, not mine.

“Anyway, the Andersons tried to get him help, but nothing worked.” He pressed his lips to the top of my head, releasing a shuddering breath as he continued. “A few weeks after he died, I had to go play at some tournament because the college scouts were there. Only I was so fucked in the head that I blew the game on purpose. And after that, I quit. Baseball wasn’t worth it without him to share it with, ya know?”

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered against his chest, my fingers tightening in his shirt.

“Don’t be sorry.” He dropped his lips against my forehead this time.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I decided that I’d tell him about my own demons to help ease his a little. “My sob story isn’t quite as bad.” I stroked a hand over his chest, breathing deeply.

“Anything bad that happened to you is too much.”

I kissed his lips, just once in thanks, then laid my head on his shoulder, my lips close to his throat as I spoke. “When I was sixteen and living with my father, he left me home to go to some sort of illegal street fight. The neighbor guy, who’d always been friendly to us, snuck into our apartment that night and tried to hurt me.” My fingers gripped the neckline of Gavin’s shirt, my voice shaking. His arms tightened around me, and I could hear the low growl in his chest as I continued. “Luckily, the older lady across the hall heard me scream and called the police before anything happened.” I swallowed hard. “The worst part was, the cops held me at the station until four the next morning, when my father finally figured out I was there and came to get me. He hadn’t known. And they had no way to get in touch with him.”

“Where’s your father now?” Gavin asked, anger evident in the scratch of his voice.

I shrugged. “Not sure. I lost touch with him after high school. I went to college, met Addie, and she’s been my only family since.” Sure, I had my stepbrother and stepsister, and we kept in touch as much as possible, but it was never the same.

“Family has never been more than one or two people. Even when I lived with my mother, it never felt real. More…reality TV-ish, if that makes sense.”

“Hmm.” Gavin lifted a hand, and instead of stroking my spine, he rubbed the back of my head. “I get it,” he said.

“Guess what I’m saying is, I don’t know what it’s like to have a big, tight-knit group of people around me to love. Not like you do with Collin and Max. I’ve been alone for so long that it’s easier for me to live that way.”

“I was the same way until I met them, believe me.” He chuckled. “Probably would’ve been fine with it too, until we got back from our last tour of duty and I met Chloe.”

I held my breath, not wanting to ask the question. But what else could I do? I needed to know the answer now more than I needed air to breathe. “Do you think maybe you want to, I don’t know, have a family of your own someday?”

A second passed, then two. I felt him hold his breath, heard the unsteady shudder as he let it go. And it wasn’t until he said the words that I relaxed for the first time since I’d found out I was pregnant.

“Yeah. I think I do want that.”

* * *

Gavin

We didn’t talk much after that. I was still ready to rage on the world over the fact that someone had tried to hurt her, and even more pissed at her parents for treating her the way they did. If I ever saw or met them, I’d let it be known that they’d messed with the wrong woman.

With McKenna on my lap, straddled and quiet, I took the moment to think about the could-have-beens in my own life. I’d grown up under pretty shitty circumstances, yeah, but what would’ve happened if my parents hadn’t died? No doubt I wouldn’t be where I was now. Not just with Collin and Max and Chloe, but it might have meant a life without ever knowing and feeling things for the woman I was holding. Fate had a way of fucking with your head when it came to life, that’s for sure. But I knew things happened for a reason. And I swear my reason was McKenna.

My eyes grew heavy, but my hold on her never faltered. I had a feeling I’d be fighting to hang on to her for as long as I could. The thought of her not in my lap, by my side, in my life, was torture. Especially now that I knew she and I had similar backgrounds.

Her breath was warm on my neck, while her wet eyelashes batted against my skin, letting me know she was awake. I wanted to talk to her again, tell her that this thing we had wasn’t going to end. But then she moved just right, and her hips rubbed against me in that agonizing way my cock craved, and all other thoughts fled my mind.

I wanted her, here and now. I wanted to make love to this woman. Show her the right way it was done. Not just in the heat of the moment, not after a night of drinking either. I wanted to show her how right we were together. Emotionally and physically.

I started to kiss her temple, her cheek after that, and soon her sleepy body awakened. I pressed my lips to her neck, down her throat, going to the other side to repeat the same process all over again.

“Gavin, what are you doing?” Her fingers tightened in my hair, but her hips moved against me.

“Kissing you.” I smiled against her skin, inhaling the scent of her body.

“D-do you think that’s a good idea?”

Slowly pulling back, I met her stare, my hands on her thighs and running up and under her soft dress. “I think it’s a damn good idea, actually. But if you don’t want to—”

Her lips crashed into mine, ten fingers going painfully tight against my scalp. I welcomed the sensation, answering her pace by pushing my hands further beneath her dress. With a groan, I squeezed her ass, rocking her pussy up and over my jeans.

“Gotta see you.” I started tugging her dress up, but she froze, gripping my wrists, holding me in place.

“Wait,” she whispered. “Let me.” She reached down and slipped the dress up and over her head on her own, shaking out her hair when she finished.

“Jesus, Kenna.” Met with the cream, see-through lace of her bra, I took in the pale skin of her curves and the peachy-pink nipples that called to my mouth. “You’re perfect.”

She grinned and kissed me again, this time tugging at my clothes until I was shirtless and her nearly naked flesh was flush against mine. Needing to touch her all over, I reached back and quickly unsnapped her bra, never breaking away from her mouth as I tugged the straps down her shoulders and exposed her gorgeous breasts.

She hissed as though in pain, and I leaned back, looking at their fullness, her pert pink nipples, worried I’d done something wrong. “Did I hurt you?”

She shook her head slowly, a soft smile on her mouth that hinted at shyness I wasn’t used to seeing on her face. “They’re…sensitive.” She tugged her bottom lip between her teeth and looked away, went distant on me again.

“Don’t look away.” Fearing I was losing her, I cupped her cheeks, urging her gaze back on me, only for her eyes to stay closed. “McKenna, open your eyes, please…” My throat burned as I swallowed and waited. Eventually, she did as I asked, looking at me with the full power of her baby blues. But the tears I saw there had me fearing the worst.

“What is it?”

She licked her lips and shook her head. “Nothing. I’m just sensitive, is all. I’ll be okay.” She leaned forward to try to kiss me again, but I wasn’t having it.

“Talk to me.”

She opened her mouth, then shut it once more. Just when I was thinking she was going to flip a switch on me, become another version of herself, she said the last two words I’d ever expected to hear.

“I’m pregnant.”