Chapter 23

McKenna

It was five in the morning before I finally fell asleep—the head-to-the-pillow, deep kind of sleep. Talking with Gavin for a straight four hours on FaceTime had pretty much worn me down and picked me up at the same time.

The guy wasn’t just charming and sweet, but incredibly funny too. Not the kind of funny that had me laughing out loud, but the kind that was abrupt and so unexpected that when I did laugh, it was genuine and hard to contain. The last remaining walls around me were being stripped away every second we spoke. In their place were feelings I wasn’t quite sure what to do with but knew I didn’t want to ignore anymore either.

We didn’t discuss the baby again. But I knew the truth—saw it in his eyes. Gavin wanted a happily ever after, and he wanted it with me. But how could that happen when I didn’t believe in fairy tales?

With a sigh, I rolled over and glanced at the clock. It was three in the afternoon, a glorious time to behold. I had nowhere important to be today other than right where I was. My sister and I could hang out the rest of the afternoon, watch a little TV, and order some takeout. It would be nice to just be.

Then tonight, Gav and I could do it all over again.

“Sweet Jesus, am I screwed.” I tossed an arm over my eyes and groaned.

Even though I should’ve been slamming my head against the wall, that sense of real happiness I had always tried to avoid was gripping its claws in deep. Thoughts of Penis-Head Paul, and all the idiots before him were there in the back of my head as always, but the memory of Gavin’s words from last night—Let me show you what it’s like to be loved—had grown in place of all the bad crap from the exes.

A knock sounded at my door. Followed by a very unexpected voice.

“Kenna?”

I jerked up in bed at the noise, scrambling for my pants on the floor. “Uh, just a minute.”

Oh my God.

Oh. My. God.

Gavin? He was here? In my house?

Just outside my freaking bedroom door, at that.

“Breathe, Kenna,” I reminded myself as I looked in the mirror to check for possible drool lines.

Once assured that my condition was, well, semi-presentable, I inhaled through my nose once more and opened the door, blinking quickly at what I saw.

Gavin, just like I thought, but with Stargazer lilies in hand.

“Hi,” he said shyly, those dark lashes of his batting lazily against his cheeks.

“You…me…flowers?” I’m pretty sure I was speaking gibberish. Apparently, swoon-sucker me didn’t have the ability to say coherent sentences. Never had I been incapable of words to the point where I stuttered like an idiot. But, there again, never had I been wooed by Gavin St. James.

“They’re lilies.”

He cleared his throat, his green eyes as bright as the leaves with the flowers. I died a little inside at the sight. And believe me when I say, it was the best way to go.

“They’re beautiful.”

“The, um, florist said they mean I missed you. I asked her.”

Heart? Meet belly.

I smiled widely at the gesture and urged him inside. When it came to romance, a man asking for the meaning of flowers before purchasing them was pretty much a woman’s dream. Or at least mine.

The door clicked shut behind me as I turned to face my new guest. There was something incredibly intimate about having him in my room. A step in a direction I wasn’t sure I was meant to take…until that moment.

“Did I wake you?” he asked. “Your sister let me in. Said you were in here.”

Hand in his shorts pockets, chin to his chest, Gavin looked downright adorable. His cheeks were pink, barely visible under his beard, and beneath his dark lashes, he stared back at me as though I was a certified goddess.

“No, I, um… I’ve been awake for a while.” I ran my hand over the front of my shirt, then winced at the tiny bulge there. When I looked up, I found him at my dresser, his eyes flitting over the framed pictures of me and my sister, and me and Addie.

“Um, so, wanna do a late lunch or early dinner?” He turned to face me, his back to my mirror and dresser. One of his hands was on the nape of his neck, rubbing feverishly, the other still held the flowers.

Feeling like an idiot for not taking them earlier, I stepped forward and pulled the bouquet from his hands. He smiled as I settled them against my chest, and I heard him chuckle when I pressed them to my nose and inhaled.

“Lunch, huh?” I tipped my head back to look up at him when I was done, licking my lips.

He nodded, eyes twinkling as he stared at my mouth. For a big, bearded, muscular marine, this guy had a secret, softy heart when you got to know him.

“I’m pretty tired.” I teased, setting the bouquet on the dresser. “Kind of had a long night.”

“Someone keep you up late?” His brows lifted in suspicion, but I saw the twitch of his lips all the same.

“Maybe I kept that person up late instead.” I closed the distance between us, our chests just a foot apart.

His lips pulled up in an easy grin. Gavin had the type of presence that always managed to suck me in, no matter what kind of mood he displayed. It was engaging, the way he spoke to others. Short, brief, to the point. And it turned me on in more ways than I could count. I’m pretty sure his lack of communication bothered him more than it did anyone else. But the fact of the matter was, I liked how he was. How he acted. Gavin knew what he wanted, though it took him some time to get what he wanted. In a way, he reminded me of a tiger: slow to pounce, but all claws and bite once he took his prey. That occasional shyness he exhibited only complemented—not to mention complicated—his ways, making him more intriguing.

I’m not sure if I’d ever figure him out completely, but I was going to have a damn good time trying.

“Where do you want to go eat?” I asked, pressing my palms to his chest, loving how his heart picked up speed under my hands.

“I, uh…” He cleared his throat, blushing even more.

“I’ll give you a moment to think about it.” With a wink, I walked to my dresser, keeping my movements slow and deliberate. I pulled a new bra and panty set out of my drawer to take a shower, nonchalant as I turned to face him again.

Gavin didn’t need to know that having him here in my space like this, asking to take me out, was pretty much a seal-the-deal thing when it came to getting laid. I might not have been completely sold on giving him my heart, but my body? Yeah, that was all his.

“I was thinking the bar and grill along the river. Spencer’s. Then we could take a Channel Cat boat ride after.” He cleared his throat. “I gotta work the night shift tonight, so I can’t be out late.”

A public boat ride with Gavin on my arm? I liked the sound of that more than I had a right to. “Sure.” I smiled widely, ignoring my bitchy inner voice that said I didn’t deserve so much happiness.

My throat grew dry as I watched him move closer. His hands were balled against his sides as though maybe, just maybe, he was fighting against the same urge I was.

To reach out. To touch me. Kiss me. Maybe more…

Please let there be more.

“I’ve always wanted to do that boat ride with someone,” he said, voice cracking a little.

“Like, a girl someone?”

He nodded, his body inches from mine.

My chest rose quickly with my breaths. I tipped my head back to meet his gaze once again, hating to think of myself as someone who just happened to come along and fill his to-do list. Yet at the same time, there I stood, praying I was the only girl he’d ever want to ask again. Those were dangerous thoughts with a possible dangerous outcome. Yet did that deter me?

“Then I guess it’s your lucky day.”

Absolutely not.

Gone were his pink cheeks and unsure gaze. In their place was a sure, confident man who needed something from me—something I was suddenly ready to give. Gavin said he was an inexperienced lover. But I didn’t see that in his stature. Didn’t feel that when his hands were on my body, when he was driving inside me.

“You better get in the shower, then.” He nodded toward the hall.

My face grew hot. Suddenly, the last thing I wanted to do was leave this room.

“I better…” The words trailed off, my heart racing at the possibility of him joining me.

He nodded slowly, moving in even closer, until his chest was flush with mine. “Unless you don’t want to.” He licked his lips.

I licked mine.

“I do want to. Really, really bad.”

He lifted his brows in question.

“Wanna shower, I mean.” I cleared my throat, knees shaking now.

Warm, calloused hands brushed against my waistline and my shirt slid upward beneath. I shivered, automatically leaning closer. Fingers grasped tenderly at my bare flesh, and I sucked in a breath as he drew circles with his thumbs.

Screw the damn shower. There were at least half a dozen things I wanted to do in that moment other than getting clean. And every one of them required Gavin and me naked in the bed.

“Stop making those noises.” He shut his eyes, looking pained as he lowered his forehead to mine.

“What noises?” I asked, drunk on his touches.

“Noises that have me thinking you want me to touch you more. Like you don’t care what happens, as long as you’re touching me too.”

Fingertips grazed my spine as he wrapped his hands around my back. My skin erupted in goose bumps, the need for pleasure the reason. The air-conditioning flipped on at the same time and a low hum filled the room, acting as noise deflection.

My sister was down the hall. She wouldn’t be able to hear us…

I licked my lips again, shutting my eyes at the same time. “Maybe I do want to.”

A low growl erupted in his throat. “You’ve gotta be more specific with me than that. I need your words, Kenna.”

I opened my eyes, slowly, as if I was taking in a new world, needing to savor it in case it all disappeared—which I knew it could, but no longer seemed to care. In a way, Gavin was that new world, filling me with all things peace and man, breathing life into me when I didn’t know I was so desperate for it. As ridiculous as it sounded, I’d been lost before I knew Gavin, and now, standing there, I knew without a doubt in my mind that I’d been found. Who knew “Amazing Grace” was going to become my new theme song?

Wordless, I dropped to my knees, my hands trailing down his hard thighs, running up beneath his shorts in the back. “I need you…”

Tortured eyes met mine from above. Lips pressed together, throat bobbing, he whispered back, “You have me, beautiful. You’ve always had me.”

* * *

Gavin

Kenna down on her knees, unbuttoning my shorts, was the stuff of fantasies, something I’d never known existed. Twenty-eight years old, and I’d never felt the way I did for McKenna with any other woman. Seeing her so unleashed before me only emphasized that.

“I want to touch you,” she whispered and tugged down the zipper of my shorts. Confident. Beautiful. Perfect.

Hands shaking, she reached inside my boxers until she had my cock in her hands.

I sucked in a breath. “You’re doing a pretty fucking fantastic job of that, I’d say.” My voice sounded garbled, and my knees began to shake. I lowered my hands on the dresser for support, scared I’d fall on top of her.

She pulled me free of my zipper, her long fingers wrapped tightly around the base. I swallowed so hard I could feel it in my balls, but I didn’t move, afraid she’d change her mind. Afraid I’d change my mind too.

Did I want her hands on me? Fuck yes, I did. Did I want her pretty mouth wrapped around the head of my cock? More than anything else. But I hadn’t come here expecting this, especially since last night was the first time we’d spoken in almost a month. Still, Kenna worked in unusual ways. She didn’t need to be wooed, but she did need to be put up a pedestal—something I’d always do if she’d let me. She deserved everything she never thought she’d get, and I’d be the guy to try to give that to her.

Wordless, she dropped a kiss on the head of my cock. Her tongue slipped over the slit seconds later, then circled around the head. I jerked my hips forward, and she lapped at the pre-come already slipping out. I shuddered, my spine going so rigid I thought I’d break. Her eyes met mine when I dropped my chin to my chest. That blond hair of hers fell over her cheeks, and I swore I’d never seen anything so beautiful in my life.

Needing to touch her, to make sure she was real, I reached down and ran my knuckles over her cheek. She shut her eyes, taking me in deeper.

“Fuck…” I hissed, struggling to keep from jamming myself down her throat. I’d been given head only twice in my life—and that was when I was fucking seventeen and twenty-four. My experience was limited when it came to women. Not that I didn’t have a lot of opportunities—I just never felt like taking anyone up on it. Still, I knew what felt good, and her mouth wrapped around me was fucking amazing.

Slowly, she slid her free hand around to my ass and used the other to squeeze the base of my balls. Then her mouth slipped down further, and her tongue slid across the base, and I was so damn done for.

I gripped her hair with the hand that’d been on her cheek, still using the other to hold myself up against the dresser. In and out, I guided her slowly, setting the pace as the sound of her sucks filled the small bedroom. I licked my lips, watching her. More than anything else, I wanted to kiss her, taste her, feel her body against mine, around mine.

“You’re damn good at that.” I groaned, teeth gritted. I held my breath as the base of my balls started to tingle.

I was close. Too close.

Kenna smiled around my cock, and her eyes turned into seductive blue slits. She looked like the devil’s temptress, and damn if that didn’t make me want to sin.

She sucked harder, speeding up, then slowing down. My fingers clenched tighter in her hair, and with every pull of my hand, she went faster. Harder. Deeper.

“Damn it, no.” I finally hissed, not ready for this to end so soon. I pulled her off me, not caring about the pout on her lips as she stood, only needing to make her feel as fucking wanted as she made me.

I turned her so her back faced the dresser, then I slid my sweaty palms around her hips. With no second thoughts, I walked backward, urging her with me, until the back of my knees grazed her mattress. She giggled as I stumbled, then moaned as I pulled her down on top of me. When I tugged her head close to press my lips to hers, her laughter was soon replaced with a low moan.

Back arched, she rode my bare cock through her wet panties, panting, her skin damp with sweat. I gripped her ass harder, encouraging her to move faster, wishing she’d take the lead, strip those silky things away, and fuck me right.

“Gavin,” she whispered, pulling her face back to look down at me, her arms along both sides of my head. Our eyes met, holding, an unspoken question in her stare that faded only when she lowered her forehead to mine.

I shuddered, that image forever ingrained in my head. McKenna was hurting, and the only one who could fix her in that moment was me.

“Need you,” I whispered between slow kisses, my throat twisted in knots.

“I’m yours,” she whispered, panting. “Always yours.”

The words were like angels singing in my ears, only reaffirming what I already knew.

McKenna was the final missing piece to my heart.

Desperate to please her, I reached down and tugged her thin panties aside. Seconds later, she lowered her pussy over my cock, moaning so loudly I had to press her mouth back to mine to silence her. Not that I minded. Kissing Kenna was like performing magic. Something I wanted to master, even if I knew it could all be an illusion in the end.

“Gavin,” she managed, pulling away as she rode me. “You feel so good.”

I groaned, hands on her hips as I guided her over me. Slow, hard, deep.

Minutes later, she moved to sit up, her hands going flat against my chest as she rocked her hips. She bit down on her lip this time, stifling her moans. And I hated that she had to be quiet, when all I wanted was to hear her scream my name.

Seconds passed, maybe minutes—fuck, it could’ve been hours for all I know. I didn’t ever want to stop. I wanted her to fuck me until I couldn’t think. Couldn’t breathe.

She dropped her head back, her movements taking me so deep I had to grit my teeth to keep from yelling.

“Yes, Gavin, yes,” she whispered, rocking even faster. The headboard clanked against the wall, and I reached back, holding it steady with one hand, while I used the other to palm her breast over her bra.

“Jesus, Kenna.”

Her body trembled at my words, her hands shaking on my chest too. Then she came like a storm in the night, her lips parted but silent. Fast as lightning, impossible to contain, and so fucking beautiful I didn’t ever want it to stop. I palmed her ass and squeezed it hard with my release, more than positive I’d probably just left bruises on her beautiful skin.

She collapsed face-first against my chest, panting and unable to catch her breath. I rested my lips over the pulse point in her neck, feeling it race. Peace filled my chest, surrounding my heart, as one solitary word flashed through my mind: love.

It was a concept foreign to me, yet something I wanted so badly—with her. With our baby. If I were a crying man, I’d have been sobbing at the thought. Instead, all I could do was hold her to me. Promise to never let her go.

“That was…” She sighed.

“Perfect.” I shut my eyes, grinning against her skin.

Didn’t matter that my pants were still at my ankles, or that I was still half-hard and seated inside her. I loved this woman.

I loved McKenna.