Chloe
As much as I enjoyed yesterday, doing things Jace wanted to do, I was really looking forward to hanging out with Logan and doing something fun. I had a camera full of photos to show Jace but now it was time to fill it up with photos for me.
In three days it would be Jace’s birthday and for the first time I didn’t feel like hiding in bed all day. I was having a good time in London with Jace’s family and it kind of felt like he was with us, too.
Cassie shoved her make-up bag in her suitcase and turned to me. “Sure you don’t want to come to the spa?” she asked.
“No, thanks. Got a full day planned.”
“You’re dragging Logan to all of the tourist hot spots, he’s going to strangle you by the end of the day.”
Crossing my legs on the bed, I shrugged. “Pretty much. It’s going to be fun.”
She laughed. “You’re evil.”
“Hey, he volunteered to take me places.”
“And he won’t regret that,” she replied, giving me her I’m thinking more than I’m going to tell expression. Logan would enjoy the day I planned and she knew it. Not that he’d ever admit it.
“I do feel bad that we’re all going off doing our own thing and your parents are still doing Jace stuff.”
“Only for the morning, then they’re off, too. This weekend isn’t just about him; it’s about us as well. We all need to do something for ourselves. It feels like closure to me. I like that I can do something for him and for me.”
“Yeah, I guess. I like that we can do this without it hurting too much.”
“Feels good.”
“Miss him,” I said. “I often wonder where we’d be now.”
She deadpanned. “You know exactly where you’d be, you had every second mapped out.”
I stuck my finger up. “We did, but things have changed, besides the obvious, and I can’t help wonder if we’d have stuck to it. I think we would.” This conversation was the same one I’d had with Logan but I was keen to get a female’s perspective.
“Things change, Chlo. People grow all the time, apart from my ex, he just turned into a bastard.” Yes, he did. “Maybe you would’ve got that house, dream jobs in the same town, engaged, promoted, married, had a couple kids and died long into old age, or maybe you would’ve gone down different paths out of uni.”
“Guess I’ll never know.” I didn’t like the unknown. It was scary. I didn’t feel free or exhilarated; I felt fear.
“You’ve got a second chance, Chlo. You’ve done that hard bit of getting over Jace so concentrate on what happens next for you. Go and have a good day with Logan and do it without feeling guilty for today not being all about Jace.”
I wanted to say something in return, thank her and pretty much recite her speech, turning it around to her but there was an obnoxiously loud knock on the door.
“Well, that’ll be Logan then,” I said, getting off the bed to open the door.
“Ready for this?” he said, skipping hello altogether.
“We’re going to have a great day,” I said, pushing his mouth up at the sides with my fingers. He raised an eyebrow but made no attempt to swat me away. I lowered my hands, grinning at him, earning a reluctant smile.
Behind me Cassie grabbed her handbag and pushed past us. “Have a good day you two.”
“And you,” I called after her as she walked down the stairs of the townhouse hotel. “Where to first, Mr Happy?”
“This is your day, sweetheart, you lead the way.”
I grabbed my phone and shoved my coin purse in my coat pocket. “This isn’t just about me. Logan, I don’t want to drag you around London if you don’t want to.”
He held his hands up. “Ah, ah, ah, don’t do that. I’m more than happy to escort you around London and do all that tourist shit you want to do. Besides, my other options are more buildings and museums, or a spa.”
“You sure? We can do something you want to do instead.”
I watched him breathe in and out three times before replying, “There’s nothing else I want us to do. Let’s get the tube and go to Westminster, Big Ben and the London Eye. Not sure where the fuck off creepy wax place is but we’ll grab a map at the station.”
I closed the door and locked it. It wasn’t until we got to the bottom of the stairs that I realised Logan was so looking forward to today. But I wasn’t going to say anything.
Stepping outside the hotel, I stopped dead. “So… the tube station is where?” I asked.
“Chloe, you have the worst sense of direction.”
I threw my hands up. That was so not true. “It all looks the fucking same!” Rows and rows of townhouses were everywhere you looked. How was anyone supposed to find their way around? I was surprised there weren’t more Londoners wandering the streets, scratching their heads.
“You’re spending too much time with me,” he said, touching my elbow and starting us walking along the path straight ahead.
“What?”
“You said fucking, you’re always telling me I say that too much.”
“Huh, you’re definitely rubbing off on me.” I regretted it the second the words left my mouth. I watched him struggle to hold it together with a bored expression. “Go on!”
Laughter burst from deep in his chest. “Sweetheart, it would be an honour to rub off on you.”
My stomach fizzed. Fizzed! Like that popping candy. Stay cool, Chloe. “I walked right into that one, didn’t I?”
He casually slung his arm over my shoulders as we walked towards where I hoped was the tube station. How did he just know where we were going?
I liked his arm around me a little too much. It felt really, really good.
Annoyingly, Logan found the station straight away and it took me all of zero seconds to realise I hated the underground. People were everywhere. Dirt, invisible dirt for the most part, was everywhere. Maps that made little to no sense mocked me on the walls.
Logan was a picture of ease, taking one glance at the routes and leading us through the stations. I clung to his hand, not even bothering to look where we were going by the second change.
“Almost there, Chlo,” he said, holding onto the bar above my head. I gripped the one behind him, bringing us a lot closer together than what we’d usually stand. As the train wobbled on the tracks I wanted to wrap my arms around his chest. I was all over the place but he stood still, same as everyone else, apparently.
When we finally reached our stop I was ready to go back to the hotel. “Alright, if we can’t get to all the places we want to go by foot we’re not going there. Also, we’re getting a taxi back.”
“Don’t be such a baby,” he replied.
We walked upstairs, to holy ground level, still holding hands. It had started through fear but now I didn’t want to let go. The same as his arm around me earlier, holding his hand felt nice.
He didn’t let go so as long as he was cool with it I wasn’t letting go.
I squealed as I saw Big Ben, and using my non-Logan hand, slipped my phone out of my pocket and took a couple pictures. “There’s the London Eye! Let’s do the picture with Big Ben and then go there!” It really was big. I mean, I knew it was big but seeing it, wow.
Logan laughed. “You’re about to get really impossible, aren’t you?” he asked, squeezing my hand.
I squeezed back. “Yep!”
Dragging Logan to the perfect spot, I turned us around and held my phone out. I rolled my eyes and looked up at him. “Logan!” He looked bored. I didn’t want a picture of him looking bored. “Will you smile, please?”
He smiled too much but by the third picture the amusement of that must have worn off because we got a couple of really nice ones. I sent the best one to Nell, like I’d done with all the others. She wanted to know what I was doing all weekend but I bet by the end of the day she’d regret demanding pictures.
***
“Look, look, look! Buckingham Palace!” I pointed to the building from high up in the London Eye, but Logan was looking at me.
“Yes, Chloe,” he replied, still not looking out of the big glass capsule that I kept reminding myself could absolutely not ever fall. He wasn’t fooling me, I’d caught him looking out a few times when he thought I was distracted. Apparently, I was now hyper-aware of Logan so when he was around I was distracted; my mind on him constantly.
Not good, not good, not good!
I leant on the glass but before I could point out a street dance team, I was yanked back and Logan’s hand was in mine again.
“Don’t do that.”
“It’s safe, Logan.” The glass was fine; it was whether the whole thing would stay attached to the big wheel that worried me.
“Still,” he said, pulling me closer to his side, “don’t do that.”
For the rest of the way around I found it hard to watch the whole of London when Logan had me practically pinned to his side. I wanted to lean into him and already had done as much as I could get away with.
Cassie said this day was about us and I let it be. I forgot all about how much of a bad idea liking Logan was and just enjoyed being with him. I knew I would feel awful for it when the day was over but for a few hours I held Logan’s hand, laughed and flirted with him as we made our way around the London.
For one day I let myself be with him and to steal a word from Logan, I fucking loved it.