Chloe
I woke up and instantly regretted drinking so much the night before. A marching band had taken up residence in my head, and I felt like I’d been eating sand. A bottle of water sat on Jace’s bedside table. I reached for it and unscrewed the lid, drinking awkwardly on my side.
After draining the bottle and not feeling quite so horrendous, I got out of bed. I was in a pair of Jace’s joggers and one of his t-shirts and my make-up had been removed. I remembered nothing so either I was that drunk or Cass had looked after me well.
I walked downstairs and came face to face with Logan, standing just outside the kitchen door, arms folded over his chest looking very amused.
“Not now,” I said, holding my finger up. “I need more water and paracetamol. Make that happen, please.”
He only looked more amused.
“Please, Logan, the marching band just won’t quit it. Feel sorry for me!”
“Self-inflicted, sweetheart.”
“I gave you sympathy when you were hung over.”
A short burst of laugher made me glare. “Not once did you give me any sympathy.”
“Well, I am now. Please, Logan, just make it stop hurting.”
His face turned serious and he stared at me for a little too long. He was either genuinely concerned that I was in pain or thinking of a comeback.
“Sit down and I’ll fix your head.”
“Thank you,” I said, groaning and curling up on the sofa. Daryl, Julia and Cassie all asked how I was and I groaned in response to every one of their questions. I wasn’t human enough to hold a conversation yet, plus, all I could think about was the confusing feelings I now had for Logan.
“Here, pisshead,” Logan said, “drink this and take these.”
“I prefer sweetheart or Chlo to pisshead but thank you.” I sat up and took the pills and water, downing them in one go.
“Want something to eat?”
“I’m doing a fry up,” Daryl said, walking into the kitchen. “You in, Chloe?”
“Please,” I replied. My stomach turned inside out. I was so ready for food, especially greasy food.
***
I sat next to Logan at the table but felt like I shouldn’t. His smile did things to me that had never happened before. What the fuck was wrong with me? I knew that I was more than ready to let someone else in again but not Jace’s bloody brother.
Maybe it was because he was the one who dragged me out of my pit and made me get a grip on my life again? Maybe it was just a little crush on a man that meant so much to me and a man that I knew had a drool-worthy body. Or maybe I was just a big sodding bitch and I had real feelings for my dead ex’s brother.
“Not hungry anymore, Chlo?” Logan asked, smirking at me pushing the food around my plate.
“Just feeling a little delicate.” I felt sick, puke my guts up sick. But I wasn’t entirely sure if that was from the alcohol or from wanting to lean closer and breathe him in. He was amazing, incredible and I owed him so much. I wanted nothing more than to snuggle up on his lap and feel his lips against mine.
“Drink your tea, that’ll help.”
I nodded, not looking at him and picked it up. Could something ever happen between us? Bile rushed up my throat but I gulped it down with a mouthful of tea. Logan was Jace’s brother, of course, it couldn’t. I couldn’t be that person. I couldn’t have his family hate me. I couldn’t have the stares and bitchy comments whenever I was out. Logan, no matter what happened with this stupid crush from here, couldn’t happen.
After lunch I felt human again. A human with an annoying background headache but at least I didn’t want to curl into a ball and cry in a dark room anymore. Me and Cassie were laying on the sofas in the living room, watching old romance movies and not talking about Rick getting his new girlfriend pregnant. Cass was holding up well considering.
“London on Saturday,” she said. “I can’t wait.”
“Yeah, it’ll be good. Weird but good.”
“I thought that too. I’m glad we’re doing it though, it’d mean a lot to Jace.”
“It would. Bet he’ll be laughing watching us look at all those boring buildings,” I said. “Me and Logan are going to go off and do some proper sightseeing too. Wanna come?”
Her eyebrows flicked up before she corrected it. What was she thinking? There was no way she could just guess what I was feeling… Was there? “Sounds good, I might do if I’m not in a spa.”
Since her rubbish attempt at hiding her initial response, which I still couldn’t work out if it was surprise or something else entirely, I was worrying. She would say something if she felt I was getting too close to Logan. She was Jace’s sister, too, for Christ sake! There was no way she wouldn’t have it out with me if she thought I was betraying him. It was one thing for her to support me moving on with another man but an entirely different thing to support me moving on with the older brother.
Her eyes, which were the same as Logan’s, gave nothing away at all. She didn’t look mad. She didn’t look any different. How was I going to find out what was going through her head if she gave me nothing?
“You’re thinking of spa-ing it then?” I said.
“I’ll do the Jace tourist bit the first day but I don’t know how much he would’ve loved this I can take. It’s easier now but not that easy.”
Now that was true. I could talk about him, laugh and smile while thinking of him and be thankful for the time I got with him but it still hurt. Nothing was ever going to stop it hurting that little bit – not any amount of time.
Logan, as if he knew I was obsessing about him, came back into the room and lifted my feet, sitting down and putting them back over his lap. Innocent enough… before. It felt really nice. I wanted him to massage my feet, to rub those hands up my legs, anything affectionate. I wanted him to cross that boundary, and I hated myself for it.
I sat up, stretching my back so it looked like I was just getting comfortable. I couldn’t be that close to him while I wanted him, while all I could think about was kissing him.
One night was all it had taken me to fuck things up in my head. How could I like Logan? I was probably being too hard on myself. It wasn’t as if I chose to feel like this. There was no way I would choose to want Logan but I could choose to ignore it and that was exactly what I was going to do.
“What’re you two chatting about and do we really have to watch this shit?”
“Grease is a classic so, yes, we do,” Cassie said. “And we were just talking about London. You two’re going off and I’m going to a spa.”
He frowned. “For the whole weekend?”
“No, just the second day.”
“You don’t want to do the shit Chlo wants to do with us?” he asked.
Cass’s eyes flicked between us so quickly I almost didn’t catch it. But I did so that was just one more thing to obsess over.
“Nah, think I’ll need the pampering. It’ll be a nice weekend but it’ll be hard, too.”
Logan looked away from us, his posture turning more hostile. He looked like he wanted to bolt for the door. What the hell was up with everyone today? I felt like I went out last night and everything was normal then I got drunk, started having fuzzy feelings for Logan and suddenly nothing made any bloody sense.
“You okay?” I asked.
He nodded and smiled at me, snapping back to us from wherever he was in his mind. “Fine. I’m gonna go for a run. I take it you’re giving it a miss?” he said, already getting up. There was no way I wanted to stand up let a lone run anywhere but I got the feeling that he was only asking because he felt obligated to, not because he wanted me there. This was definitely a Logan only run.
“No, thanks,” I replied.
He was already walking towards the stairs but grunted what sounded like alright before he disappeared upstairs.
Was I asleep still? I wanted to wake up and have everything be how it was. Most of all I wanted my stupid heart to stop jumping all over the place when he was around.