Ethan sat on the back of the ambulance, the smell of smoke clinging to him like a second skin, and wiped his forearm across his sweaty forehead. His other arm rested by his side, the pain at a minimum as long as he kept still.
From his perch waiting for the paramedics to care for the people with smoke inhalation, he could see the other firefighters milling about near what remained of the old food bank. The red brick building was stained black from where the fire had broken out just a few hours earlier, which thankfully had been contained before anyone was seriously injured. Now, there was just paperwork, cleanup, and the assessment of the attached homeless shelter for possible smoke and structural damage.
Christine Palmer, one of the paramedics, made her way over to the ambulance. “What happened to you?” she asked, frowning. “You doing okay? You didn’t mention being hurt earlier.”
“Shelving unit came down. I guess my reflexes are slowing.” He sent her a grin, but inside he was feeling rather grim.
“Right arm?”
“Yep. My guess is it’s broken, but I’ll need an X-ray. Figured if you had room, I could hitch a ride to the hospital.” His injury wasn’t serious, though if he were honest, it hurt like a sonofabitch. Still, he could wait until the ambulance wasn’t needed. Right now he was just wondering what the hell he’d do if he couldn’t work for a while.
“There’s nothing major here,” Christine replied. “I don’t think there’ll be a problem with giving you a lift. You doing okay for pain?”
He nodded. “Yeah. Though if you happened to give me a sling or something, I think the support would be welcome.”
In no time she had him trussed up in a sling and the shooting pains lessened. Of all the goddamn things to happen today. His mother would have a fit, even though he hadn’t been in any mortal danger. It was a stupid steel shelving unit. She wouldn’t see it that way. And now he’d be off work.
“Hey, Christine? What time is it?”
“Nearly ten.”
Shit. He was supposed to be home by eight thirty this morning. Hannah had come over to stay with the boys last night, but they’d be up now and she would need to go to work. It wasn’t unheard of for him to be late, but he was going to be a while longer still. “You got a phone I can borrow?”
She took out her cell, opened her lock screen, then handed it over. “I’ll be back in a few minutes and we’ll get going.”
He’d been right. Hannah was worried and wondering where he was, and late for work. When he explained what happened, however, her tone changed and he closed his eyes, making assurances that he was fine. “Can you stay with the boys? I don’t want Mom to know yet. I’d rather get checked out and have it all looked after before I talk to her. It was just a stupid shelf, but she’s going to freak out.”
“But … what am I supposed to do with the boys?”
“Can you take them with you today? Their day camp is over, and I didn’t book them into day care today because I was supposed to be home.”
“To my office?”
He sighed. “I know it’s a lot to ask. I’m sorry, Han. I can find someone else. Just give me a few minutes.”
Christine came back, along with Greg, the other paramedic. “Hey,” she said to Ethan. “We’re ready to roll.”
“Who’s that?” asked Hannah.
“The paramedics. They’re ready to take me to the hospital.”
There was a moment of silence. “Okay,” she said, her voice steadier. “Don’t worry about the boys. I’ll take them with me and figure something out. I’m just glad you’re okay, Ethan.”
“Thank you, Hannah.” His shoulders sagged in relief. “I’ll be in touch.”
He clicked off the phone and then boosted himself up into the back, using his good arm for balance.
Now that his job was done and the adrenaline was fading, his mind started to wander, the pain a sharp reminder of what could have been. Despite what he’d told Hannah, today had him shaken. For a few seconds in that burning building, he’d been on the edge of a “what if” moment. What if the shelf had pinned him down? What if he’d been hurt worse than a broken arm? What if one day he went into a fire and didn’t come out?
He handed the phone to Christine and stared at the opposite side of the ambulance.
The potential for something to go wrong was always there, but today, after a close call … it felt more pronounced than usual. It highlighted the fact that he was all the boys had. He couldn’t afford to be distracted.
* * *
It was quarter past eleven when Willow looked up and saw Hannah come into the café, with Connor and Ronan holding her hands.
She looked frazzled.
“Well, hello, Auntie Hannah. Hi, boys. Have you come in for a treat?”
Connor bobbed his head up and down. “I want a brownie like my dad got the other day.”
“Good choice. What about you, Ronan?”
Ronan was a little more shy, but he gave a little smile and said simply, “Cookie.”
Hannah gave him a nudge. “What do you say, boys?”
“Please,” they said together, and Willow melted a bit. Heavens, they were sweet.
Hannah took them to a table, but then came back to Willow at the counter. “I told them I was getting their stuff. Truth is, Willow, I’m at my wits’ end. Ethan is at the hospital and I stayed at his place to watch the boys during his night shift last night, but now I have to go to a showing and I’ve had the kids in my office for the last forty-five minutes and I’m losing my mind.”
Willow’s hand paused over the tray of brownies. “What do you mean, Ethan’s at the hospital?”
“Something to do with his call this morning. Said he hurt his arm or something and they were taking him to the hospital to get checked out. I agreed to keep the boys because Ethan wants to spare Mom any worry until after he knows what’s up. But trying to work with those two orangutans around?” She sighed heavily.
Willow was still stuck on the fact that Ethan had been hurt, presumably fighting a fire this morning. There’d been talk for the last few hours that something had burned just by town limits, where the properties turned more industrial.
She wondered what had happened to him, and if he was all right.
It was sunny today, and slow. Instead of coffee, most people beat the late July heat by heading to the ice cream shop down the street. Willow looked at the boys and then at Hannah. “Leave them with me for an hour or so. I can blast off from here and watch them while you’re doing your showing. Would that help?”
Hannah’s eyes lit up. “Are you serious? You’d do that?”
“Of course I would. They can have lunch here, and we’ll walk over to the park or something. Just call me when you’re back.”
“You’re a lifesaver.”
“Yeah, yeah. Give me five minutes to tie up a few loose ends and I’ll be right there.” She frowned for a moment. “Are you sure Ethan won’t mind?”
Hannah shrugged. “Nah. It’s only for a few hours. He knows you.”
Barely, Willow wanted to answer, but she kept her mouth shut. Hannah was a good friend and would return the favor anytime Willow asked.
While the boys ate their snack and Hannah drank a latte, Willow checked supplies and left instructions in the kitchen. To be honest, she was looking forward to the afternoon. She didn’t often allow herself to play hooky, and the idea of spending some time at the park or around town, even with two little boys, sounded perfect.
She packed a small cooler with fresh buns and cheese, added some carrot and celery sticks, and a couple of the bananas they had set aside for making banana bread. There was no reason why they couldn’t have a picnic at the park.
Then Hannah was gone and Willow was left with Connor and Ronan, and she realized she was a bit nervous after all. These were Ethan’s children. Ethan was not her biggest fan, and she wasn’t used to being around small kids for any length of time. She hoped it all went well, because if it didn’t, she was sure Ethan would have something to say about it.
“So,” she said, sitting down at their table. “Looks like it’s the three of us for a few hours. What would you like to do?”
“Ice cream!” shouted Connor.
“Park!” Ronan’s sweeter voice called out, and she laughed.
“Okay. Let’s say we do the park. I have a little picnic we can have after you’ve played a while, how’s that? And maybe, just maybe, if you have room for ice cream, we can get some later.”
“A picnic?” Connor’s eyes sharpened, staring at her little insulated bag. “What’s in there?”
“A surprise,” she decreed. “Want to go? I bet you like the swings best, don’t you, Connor?”
“You can give me an underduck.”
She hadn’t heard that term in nearly two decades. “We’ll see.”
“Ronan likes the slide. And the dinosaur.”
They got up from the table and she held out her hands. Each boy took one, and her heart gave a little pang at the sweet, trusting gesture. A surge of protectiveness ran through her. Kids were so innocent. So at the mercy of the adults in their lives. She refused to look back at her own childhood, but the idea that Connor or Ronan had already lost some of that innocence because of their mother’s death made her sad.
There was nothing she could do about that, so she decided that they would just have fun today.
The park was predictably busy. It was mid-day, and the sky was a perfect, clear blue without a single cloud. Mothers with strollers, toddlers, and school-age children all fought for space on walking paths and around the playground equipment.
There was a wait for the swings and the slide was hot on bare legs; both Connor and Ronan bent their knees and slid down as best they could on their cotton-covered bums, but after two or three turns, decided they wanted to do something else. The dinosaur turned out to be some spring-loaded triceratops that Ronan could sit on and rock back and forth, while Connor took a turn on a dragon. It wasn’t long before they were bored, though, since it was still impossible to get a swing and Ronan was too scared to climb the jungle gym. If they’d had a soccer ball they might have played, but they hadn’t brought much with them to Hannah’s office.
The picnic didn’t last long, either. She’d thrown some towelettes in the picnic bag to wash off dirty hands, and they chomped on buns and cheese and carrots—neither liked the celery—and shared a banana. Then they flopped down on their backs, their little bellies full, and stared at the clouds for a few minutes. It was all quite idyllic, really, until a bumblebee settled on Ronan’s arm and he flipped out, shaking his arm and wailing at the top of his lungs.
Willow’s heart rate went bonkers as she leapt to his side. “Ronan, he’s gone, honey. Shhh. It’s okay. Did he sting you?”
“N … no but he was on me and…” He didn’t say much, but his little body shuddered. Clearly he was not a fan of bees.
“He didn’t hurt you. He probably just sat on you because you smell so sweet.”
“Gross,” said Connor.
“Not helpful, Connor.” She gave him a sideways glance and a teasing smile, and Connor smiled back. For a five-year-old, he was quick to pick up on tone. That probably had to do with the crazy Gallagher family’s Irish humor.
“Sorry.”
Ronan sent him a dirty look. “That’s cuz you stink, Connor.”
Willow burst out laughing. She couldn’t help it. And once she laughed, Connor laughed, and so did Ronan. Disaster averted.
They put away the picnic and Willow wondered what to do next. “Do you boys like flowers? We could look at the gardens.”
“I like flowers, Wi … Miss…”
Oh, she could really learn to love Ronan. Connor was sharp but Ronan was as sweet as candy floss.
“You can call me Willow, like the tree,” she said.
“Wil-low,” he said carefully.
There was no handholding this time, and they walked along the path, Willow hoping the entire time that they didn’t ask to go into the creek. She didn’t have a change of clothes for them, and she wasn’t sure how swift the current ran in the narrow waterway. It had been years since she’d dipped her toes in there. Back in high school, the lake had been the place to go, not the creek. Not that she’d been able to go that much. Her mom had been strict, and any social events she’d gone to she’d had to sneak out. And boy, had that backfired. All the straight A’s in the world hadn’t protected her from getting in trouble.
Ronan definitely liked the flower gardens and got a bit whiny when she told him they weren’t for picking. The hard set of his lips warned her that an explosion might be forthcoming, so she formulated a new plan. They’d walked far enough down the Green that they were probably only a quarter of a mile from Laurel’s Ladybug Garden Center. Behind the center, Laurel had planted a large bed of mixed wildflowers for bees and butterflies. Willow was pretty sure that Laurel would let the boys pick a few blossoms. Maybe they could make a bouquet for Hannah or for their grandmother. Besides, Laurel was married to Connor and Ronan’s uncle, Aiden. It would be almost like being with family.
“Do you guys want to go see your aunt Laurel? You could look at all her flowers, too.”
“Aunt Laurel!” shouted Ronan. Then quieter, “Wil-low, I need to pee.”
Oh Lord. “Can you hold it until we get to the garden center, do you think?” She didn’t want to be responsible for Ronan peeing in the bushes on the Green, though she doubted he’d be the first boy to do so.
“I guess so.” He looked up at her, eyes wide. “Is it a long walk?”
She squatted down and tapped her shoulder. “You hang on to my neck and I’ll piggyback you. How’s that?” The picnic bag was across her shoulder and practically empty, so it didn’t get in the way. Ever trusting, Ronan locked his hands around her neck and she stood, hitching his little legs with her arms. “Connor, you’re okay to walk?”
“Is there ice cream in it for me?”
She laughed. “You drive a hard bargain. Ice cream after flowers.”
“Then I can walk.”
Connor did a good job keeping up, and Ronan seemed to enjoy the piggyback, though after the first hundred yards or so, Willow was regretting carrying him. The posture was awkward and his little, sweaty body was plastered against her shirt. When they got to the Ladybug, Laurel came out to greet them. “Well, look who we have here?”
“Hi, Aunt Laurel.” Connor squinted up at her. “This’s Willow.”
“I know. Willow’s my best friend.”
“She is?” There was a distinct sound of wonder in his voice. Willow grinned and knelt down again, letting Ronan off her back. She rolled her shoulders a few times, trying to unstick her shirt from her skin.
“Yep. She’s nice, isn’t she?”
Ronan shifted from foot to foot.
“Um, Ronan needs to use the bathroom.”
Laurel grinned. “No problem. Come with me, tiger,” she said, holding out her hand. “Bathroom’s right over here.”
They disappeared for a moment, and Willow was very glad Laurel was helping Ronan with bathroom duties. She knew nothing about kids, other than she found them entertaining. When they came back, Laurel showed them to the flower garden, then they walked together and the boys picked out flowers and Laurel snipped them with little scissors.
“How did you end up with the boys?” Laurel asked.
“Hannah was keeping them, but she had a showing and I offered to watch them for a few hours.”
Laurel nodded solemnly, looked at the boys, and kept her voice low. “I heard about Ethan and the fire.”
“Is he okay? Hannah didn’t tell me much of anything.”
“Broken arm. Not a bad break, but they’re putting him in a cast and he’ll be off work for a while.” She shrugged. “Maybe it’ll be good for him. He works a lot, and he needs to slow down and enjoy the summer with the boys, you know?”
Willow was surprisingly relieved that Ethan hadn’t suffered any painful burns or anything too serious. For his sake, and for the boys, too. The last thing they needed was for their lives to be turned upside down again.
“Aunt Laurel, what’s this flower?” Connor had his fingers on a magenta-colored blossom.
“Coneflower,” she said. “The butterflies love it. So do—”
“Don’t say bees,” Willow warned quickly and quietly. “We already had one meltdown at the park.”
“—I,” Laurel finished, before turning to Willow with a grin. “You know, you’re kind of a natural at this. When Aiden and I start a family, you’re going to be a fabulous aunt.”
Something triggered inside of Willow. Happiness for her friend, certainly, but other feelings she hadn’t had in a very long time. Hadn’t she just been thinking lately that she was perfectly content? Talk of babies brought back too many horrible memories. And none that she could talk about.
“Are you okay?” Laurel asked.
“Of course.” Willow smiled. “Is this an imminent event?”
Laurel blushed. “Not really. We’re still in the honeymoon phase.”
“I know. I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.” It was true, but she added just enough innuendo to her tone that Laurel’s blush deepened.
She looked over at the boys. Ronan was whispering in Connor’s ear, and Connor was nodding. What were they up to? Connor came running over to Laurel. “Aunt Laurel, will you help us cut some more flowers now?”
“Sure.”
“May I help?” Willow asked.
Connor frowned, a little wrinkle forming just about his cute little nose. “Just Aunt Laurel.”
Willow tried not to be hurt. After all, they did know Laurel better, and they were just little boys. As Laurel and the boys snipped flowers, Willow took the time to walk through the rows of flowering shrubs and trees. Many of the shrubs had bloomed ages ago, in the spring, and now sported healthy foliage. The trees, too, though a couple of fruit trees remained and one apple tree even had two tiny apples on it. She took a deep breath and sat on a bench near a concrete birdbath, letting the sun soak into her face. Connor and Ronan’s voices reached her and she smiled.
Peace. That was what she’d needed today. She deepened her breath. Listened to her exhale, long and slow.
In her subconscious she heard voices, and cars going by on the main road. The slam of a car door, dull and heavy. The sweet song of a finch and a flutter of wings.
“What the actual hell are you doing here with my children?”
She opened her eyes, her peace shattered, and faced a very angry Ethan Gallagher.