Willow took the time to settle into Pigeon pose, one of her favorites. She brought her right knee forward out of Downward Facing Dog, keeping her shin parallel with the front of the mat as she stretched her left leg behind her. The pose opened her hips and she inhaled deeply, her ribs expanding as she arched her back. A few more moments and she leaned forward, collapsing over her front leg with a long exhale, sinking into the stretch.
Her practice this morning wasn’t her usual routine. She’d started with an invigorating flow practice and then had found she needed more quiet in her mind, and she’d switched to holding her poses longer, paying more attention to her breath. She wasn’t holding on to stress so much as distraction.
She gently unfolded and repeated the pose on the opposite side. This hip was a little stiffer, and she eased into it slowly. Soft music played in the background, with the sound of a waterfall behind it, and she opened her eyes and focused on the light green lotus flower painted on her wall.
Inhale. Hold. Exhale. Release.
She unwound herself and moved into Savasana, flat on her back in a prone position. Her body melted into the mat and she envisioned the remaining tension in her muscles exiting through her fingertips and feet. She deepened her breath and remained there for a while, until she was so relaxed she was in a quasi-sleep state.
The sound of a car alarm down the street pulled her back into the present, and she released a calm sigh. Nothing restored her like a good yoga practice. This morning her mind had been too busy. Now she was centered and ready to face the day.
After a shower and a breakfast of yogurt and fresh berries, Willow made her way downstairs to the café. Emily was already there, taking the first pans of muffins out of the oven. Steven was there too, filling napkin dispensers, readying the coffee machines, and taking care of anything to do with the front end. He’d already scrubbed the floor and it was nearly dry. She’d bet any money he’d cleaned the washrooms, too. He’d admitted on day one that he was an early riser, so she often put him on the schedule to open. Tina and Mary would be in later.
“Morning, boss,” Emily said, going back into the kitchen. “I’m going to put some steel cut oats on for the breakfast menu today. That okay?”
“Sounds perfect.” Even though it was July, the day was cool and a bit gray, with a fine drizzle. They’d go through more soup than sandwiches today, and lots of coffee. She made a mental note to add a third soup if the weather didn’t clear by ten or so.
The minutes flew until she unlocked the door and turned over the open sign. Then the morning passed in a blur. Instead of the rain slowing business, it seemed as if everyone in Darling was looking to warm up with a cup of coffee or tea and some sort of carb. Scones, muffins, coffee cake … it all disappeared like lightning, and Willow did nothing but bake while Em and Steven waited on customers. No one had time for a break until nine-thirty, and even then it was five minutes for each of them to catch their breath and grab something to drink to keep them going. Then the coffee-break rush started at ten and they were in the thick of it again.
She loved every minute.
The pace wasn’t very zen, but that didn’t matter. There was something comforting about the smells, and Willow loved the hands-on task of baking, of nourishing. She liked the sound of someone wishing someone else a good morning; the odd laugh, or even the weary customer who ended up leaving with a smile. She took a few precious seconds to look out over the packed coffee shop, and her heart was full. This … this was her family. This town had welcomed her back, even with her quirkiness that was so different from the Type A teenager she’d been. Not all of those characteristics had disappeared, and she liked to think they served her well as a business owner. But she liked to feel as if she’d balanced her inner perfectionist with acceptance and calm.
The most important thing she’d learned during her time away was that taking care of other people was the best way to take care of herself. When she focused on others, and tried to make their day better, her day got better, too. Call it karma, call it whatever, but she knew that giving of herself made it possible to receive good things in return. She was a nurturer at heart, which was a huge surprise considering her upbringing.
Hannah popped in, though Willow didn’t bother to check the clock. She didn’t have time to stop to chat for long, but Hannah scooted around the counter and darted into the kitchen for a moment anyway. Only Hannah would do such a thing and look utterly comfortable about it.
“Holy cats. Look at the mess in here.”
Willow laughed and efficiently rolled out cheese scone dough, then cut them in triangles with a metal cutter. Her hands flew as she placed them on a metal sheet and then put them in the oven.
“Busy day,” Willow offered. “A little bit of rain and the tourists want coffee and carbs and to stay inside.”
“I guess. I’ve got to get back, but I wanted to tell you that I spoke to Billy.”
Billy Robertson was the owner of the building, and he rented the space to both Hannah and Willow.
“About the space in between us?”
“Yep. He agreed to let me know if anyone else offers. He likes having you as a tenant. He said your sugar-free cookies are the only sweets his wife will let him eat.”
Willow laughed and wiped her hands on a towel. “Well, that’s good.”
Hannah’s face was all business, though. “I meant what I said about expansion. That’s prime real estate and you’re already crowded in here. If it’s the money, we can talk about that, too. I can help.”
Laurel had said the same thing about funding an expansion, even though Willow knew Laurel had her hands full with the garden center and keeping her business in the black. “I’ll keep it in mind. Promise.” In fact she had been thinking about it, a lot. It was part of the reason why she’d been a little edgier than normal lately.
She didn’t want to grow too fast, or too big, and add additional stress to her life. She’d worked very hard to find inner acceptance and a balance of doing what she loved and having enough quiet time to keep herself on an even keel. To double the size of the café would mean hiring a full-time baker and more staff, not to mention more overhead. More everything, including risk.
“Let me think about it, Han.” She put her hands on her hips. “It’s a big step. I don’t want to rush into anything. Right now I have time to do some things I enjoy. I don’t want to end up married to my business, and if The Purple Pig expands, that could happen.”
Hannah shook her head. “Nah. You’re the most well-balanced person I know. But agreed, you shouldn’t rush into anything. If you want, we can run some numbers sometime…”
Hannah looked so hopeful that Willow laughed again. “You’re wasted doing real estate, you know.”
“That’s what you think. I love the wheel and deal and I do my share of number crunching. Anyway, I’ll scoot and let you get back to work.”
Before she could dart out the door, Willow called out to her. “Hey, Hannah?”
“Hmm?”
“Ethan was in here with the boys. Connor mentioned his mom, and Ethan clammed up.”
“Yeah. It’s been really hard for him. They were longtime sweethearts.”
Willow’s heart ached for him, and his cute little boys. “What was she like?”
Hannah smiled, and Willow saw sadness in it. It looked like the family had loved Ethan’s wife, too.
“Lisa was perfect for him. She was sweet but no pushover, and she ran a tight ship. Always organized, always taking the boys on little outings, making sure they did things as a family. For a long time it seemed as though she had limitless energy. Maybe that’s when we first realized something was wrong. She lost that crazy spark.”
“Connor mentioned blueberry cake.”
Hannah laughed. “She was a good cook. Ethan didn’t eat nearly as much of mom’s cooking as he does now. And she always made me feel like I was all thumbs. She knew how to knit and sew and all that stuff.”
It sounded like Lisa Gallagher had been an absolute paragon. For some reason, the glowing description annoyed Willow. She figured it was because she was so flawed and it made her feel inferior.
Those feelings didn’t happen very often, not anymore. But today they snuck in and tapped her on the shoulder.
“Thanks for telling me,” she murmured. “Now scoot. I’ve got muffins to make.”
Hannah disappeared, but Willow’s fingers rested on the edge of the counter and she frowned. Why did it matter about Lisa? It wasn’t as if she even liked Ethan.
Except she sort of did. And if it wasn’t exactly “like,” it was an understanding of what it was like to deal with daily pain and hide it from the world. Her teen years had been fraught with struggle, and it had taken years and a lot of therapy to deal with the eating disorder she’d hidden from everyone. She was a strong person now. A whole person. But when she looked at Ethan, she saw a man who had a part of himself missing, and she knew how that felt.
She remembered how he’d looked, taking the boys out of the café to go to the park and her heart softened. He was there for them. And she knew his family was supportive, but she’d bet a million dollars that he’d never allow himself to be a burden on his family.
Which meant there was no one there for him.
And lonely was a terrible place to live.