“Oh my God,” Thane says looking at the picture of me on Space Mountain from the first day. We just picked up all of our photos, and I don’t think it’s that bad, is it?

“You look petrified!”

“I was,” I tell him and can hear the boys wrestling in their room.

“Well, regardless, you’re still beautiful.”

“Oh please.”

“What? It’s the truth,” he says and kisses my cheek. I glance at the clock and know we need to get heading out, even though I don’t want to. “Boys, you ready?” I call out, and Thane says to me, “Do we have to go?”

“I know, I don’t want to either, but we have to.”

“It’s so perfect being here, with our own room and this bed.”

And it has been amazing. I’ve loved our time here so much and will always cherish it. As nervous as I was to come here, with this being on Ben’s bucket list, that didn’t seem to come into play. We made the trip all our own, just the four of us, and deep down inside of me, I know Ben watched over and is proud of every step I’ve taken towards healing. Looking back, those steps would not be possible without Thane. He’s so patient and loving and shown me it’s okay to be myself, to love again in my own time. And that is exactly what’s happening; I’m falling in love with Thane, and Jack too. And there is no stopping it, I’m on a one-way track looking forward and hope to never go back to my dark, painful days.

* * *

“Let’s just stay at your house,” I tell Thane as we drive away from the airport in Seattle. It’s closest, and the boys are passed out.

Thankfully, the flight was smooth again, this time my prior anxiety had vanished. Thane was right, all I needed was to fly under the control of a capable pilot, and that is exactly what Thane is…very capable.

“You sure?” he asks me.

“Yeah, Braxley has clothes for school, and I could use a good night’s rest in your bed.”

“You should get a new bed,” he tells me, and I know I should. I should do a lot of things, but some of the things I have to face in the future are scary and will push my limits, and right now I’m in such a good place, I don’t want that to happen. I don’t want to go back; I want to let the past go and focus only on the future, my future with Thane.

“One day, I’ll handle everything I still need to.”

“And until then, you could just move in with me? You have to admit our time was perfect, from the boys to us, we are all meant to be together. So why don’t we stop carting them around and live together?”

I think about his offer and know he’s right. I know I can’t have them move into my home, it would be wrong.

“So it’s settled?” I ask.

“Absolutely, so it’s settled!”

And I guess it is. As we pull up to his house, we both glance back at the boys. They are out cold, which is to be expected—we did stay in California longer than we’d planned. But it’s hard to leave when you’re having the time of your life.

I unstrap Braxley, and he takes Jack, then we head inside his home and lay them down in Jack’s bed. Neither of them moves a muscle as I cover them up and we close the door to Jack’s room.

“They’re so cute,” I tell Thane, and before he can respond, we’re both startled by a shadow across his house. He flips a light on to expose Charlene sitting on his sofa.

“What the fuck are you doing here in the dark, crazy?!” he asks her angrily and she looks at the way he’s protectively holding me behind him.

“You know, I was minutes away from calling the cops, Thane. It’s goddam one in the morning.”

“And I’m seconds away from calling the cops. You can’t come in here like this. I told you that already.”

I can see the despair in her eyes. She’s scared for the safety of her son, and I get that. With her and Thane separating and her giving up her shopping addiction, Jack’s all she’s got.

“You promised me you’d call when you landed. I’ve been calling you for hours, and your phone is off. What did you expect?”

“Not for you to be in my house,” Thane says, pissed, and I don’t want them to fight. I want to help settle things between the two of them.

“Just calm down,” I tell them both and walk up to Char, who has a disgusted look smeared across her face.

“Don’t tell me to calm down,” she snickers.

“I’m not trying to cause problems,” I tell her.

“But you are. You’re with my son more that I am and I don’t even know you.”

“Then get to know me. My name is Faye. It’s nice to see you again,” I tell her and outstretch my hand in a friendly gesture. She stares at it like I’ve got the plague, but I don’t falter, I wait for her to take it. I know this isn’t going to be easy, but I’m in this for the long haul with Thane, and part of that means getting to know his ex.

And finally, to my surprise, she delicately takes my hand in hers as tears gloss over her blue eyes. “Nice to meet you,” she stutters.

Thane is silent, and I ask her, “Would you like to have a glass of wine and talk?”

“No, I should go, I just needed to make sure my son was okay.”

“I think you should stay.”

In the kitchen, I can hear Thane getting the wine, and I direct her to sit on the sofa. She places her hands on top of her lap and asks me, “Why are you being so nice to me?”

“Because I know how much that little boy means to you.”

“He’s everything to me,” she says, and Thane hands us each a glass of wine. I set mine down, making sure I stay clear and level-headed. She takes a sip, the tears in her eyes slowly dissipating.

“I know—he’s amazing.”

Thane sits in the chair across from us, propping his feet up on the coffee table as he swigs his beer. I give him a quick glance, and he returns my gesture with a wink.

“I’m sorry we were late, it’s my fault.”

“No, don’t be. I was just nervous that’s all.” She’s warming up to me already, her breathing is slowing, and I can tell by just sitting here that she’s going to be okay with things.

“Char, I want you to know I’m not here to take your place. Jack loves you so much, and nothing will ever change that. But with Thane and I together, that means the three of us have to learn how to cohesively work together. Thane?” I call out to him, and he looks like he’s in a trance. “That means you have to keep Char in the loop when it comes to Jack.”

“I’ll do a better job, but Char, I’m still worried that you’re going to go back to your old ways.”

“Will you stop saying that and please just give me a chance? This time it’s different, our little boy was hurt because I was so wrapped up in a stupid shopping habit. I won’t go back to that place, no matter what, I promise you.”

As I observe the two of them talk, I don’t think they realize how lucky they are to have one another to lean on for Jack. I don’t have Ben anymore. If I did, even if we were divorced, I’d do everything in my power to respect him. Losing him has given me an entirely different perspective on so many things.

“Okay,” he agrees with her, and I hope he will give her a chance. I don’t know Char from Adam, but the one thing I do know is a mother’s love is powerful, and when your child’s existence is put into jeopardy, everything does change. It happened with me when I lost Ben. I was so scared I would fail raising Braxley or even lose him too. It caused me to become obsessed, but I quickly found out, it’s not healthy or a good way to live. I know better than anyone that each day is not guaranteed, all we have is each moment—each breath—and now I cherish my life more than ever.