Fifteen

“Lloyd Harkner, you embarrassed me to death, leaving the house like that! We weren’t even done visiting.” Katie laughed when Lloyd picked her up and carried her into their house, kicking the door shut behind them.

“You were done nursing Donavan, and I decided I’m jealous of my own son.” He raised her up and kissed her cleavage. “These are mine!”

“Lloyd, what’s going on?” She laughed again. “Honestly, everybody back at the house will know what we’re doing over here, because you made me leave the baby behind!”

“He’ll sleep for a good three hours, and I intend to spend all three of them with you in our bedroom.”

Katie covered her face and rested her head on his shoulder as he carried her into the bedroom. “What has gotten into you?” she asked.

“You.” He set her on her feet and put his hands on either side of her face. “You’ve been a little distant, Katie Donavan Harkner. After watching what my folks have been going through, I don’t want that to happen to us.”

She looked back at him with eyes that suddenly teared. “You could tell?”

“I’ve watched my father’s heart slowly break over my mother, and I’ve been so involved in that and in rebuilding the barn and then roundup and now this thing in Boulder… I just realized I’ve been neglecting the one person who means more to me than anyone else except my children. You’ve been cooking and sewing and nursing and putting up with being alone a lot and up nights with Donavan, and we haven’t been really close in a while.” He kissed her gently. “I’m taking you back before I lose you.”

She grasped his wrists. “You will never lose me, Lloyd Harkner, but lately I…I thought maybe I was losing you.”

He pulled her close. “Why would you think that?”

“Just…all the things you just said. It just seems like all we do is pass each other in the night. You get up before sunrise for ranch work, and then I get up to feed Donavan, and then I work all morning with the kids and keep feeding the baby, and you come in for a quick lunch and you’re gone again, and then we talk at supper but don’t really talk, and then you go to bed because you’re so worn out from ranch work, and I go to bed later after feeding Donavan, and then the next morning, it starts all over again.”

“Katie, we’ve made love a few times.”

“That’s the point. A few times. And almost always in a hurry because of the kids and your work and me nursing. I just—I’m so glad you’re noticing, because I thought maybe you didn’t love me as much. And last month, at that cookout, that Holmes girl flirted with you something awful, and you were nice to her—”

“And that’s all I was doing, Katie. Being nice.”

“But she’s so pretty, and you’re so good-looking, and I’m getting fat.”

“Stop that talk right now. Don’t you ever doubt how much I love you, understand? You brought me joy and love at a time when I was so lonely I wanted to die. I thought I’d never get over Beth, and then you came along, and you put up with her memory and understood how hard it was for me to love someone else. You understood what I was going through because you’d lost a husband at too young an age, so we’ve both been through a lot.” He grasped her shoulders and guided her backward until she sat down on the edge of the bed. “And then you stood right up to those raiders back in Guthrie when they took Evie, and you used that shotgun to hold them off from taking you and Stephen. And you got pregnant and gave me that beautiful little girl and now another son, and there is no way in hell I would ever look at another woman. Not in the way you’re thinking.” He knelt in front of her. “And you get it straight that I don’t give a damn if you’re heavy or thin or anything in between. You’re beautiful. A man can hardly avoid noticing those green eyes and this gorgeous red hair.” He ran his hands into her long, thick tresses. “I’ve been staying away from you more because I’m scared to get you pregnant again. You lost your first, and I’ve always been afraid something like that could happen again, but I never considered you might think I simply didn’t want you. I will always want my Katie-girl, understand?”

She leaned forward and threw her arms around his neck. “I love you, Lloyd. When I saw you with that girl…and there I was fat and tired and holding a baby and—”

Lloyd kissed her again, laying her back on the bed, moving on top of her. “You have to talk to me, Katie. I’m not going to let this grow into something that comes between us.” Katie let out a startled little scream when he grabbed her up once again and scooted her farther up onto the bed. “You stay right there while I take off my boots,” he told her.

He sat down in a chair and yanked off his boots, throwing them aside, then removed his socks. He stood up and took off his gun belt, tossing it into the chair, then removed his shirt and his leather belt. He unbuttoned his pants.

“What are you doing?” Katie asked, scooting farther back on the bed. “I thought we were just talking.”

“There is a time for talking and a time for doing. And what I’m doing is called getting undressed.” He yanked off his pants, then his long johns, revealing something that told her he wanted his wife.

“Lloyd!”

He crawled onto the bed, hovering over her. “Now—is there something more you should tell me that I don’t know about?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Good. Then get this straight, Mrs. Harkner. I think of you as beautiful and delicious. You have all the colors of the earth in you, and you’re mine! If I wanted some other woman, I’d have gone after her. She wouldn’t have to come to me. I’ve not touched another woman since I met you back in Guthrie and knew you were what I wanted, and I never will.” He ran his fingers along the bodice of her dress, brushing across her full bosom, then leaned down and kissed her cleavage. “Now get undressed, and we’ll finish this discussion after I get my fill of you.”

“But I—”

“Get undressed. I’ll help you.” He lay down beside her and finished unbuttoning the front of her dress, and then her camisole, pushing it aside and leaning in to taste a nipple, licking at lingering breast milk. “Now get up and take off these clothes. Between all those petticoats and stockings and stays, I’ll never get to the good stuff.”

“Honestly, Lloyd!” Katie moved to the edge of the bed, her back to him, and removed the top of her dress to the waist, then her camisole and girdle, which left little dents in her skin. She stood up and pulled off the dress and slips, then her shoes and stockings. She started to remove her pantaloons, then sat down again, hesitating. “My stomach is still soft from the baby. For some reason, it’s taking longer for this weight to go away.”

He moved an arm around her from behind and pulled her back onto the bed. “I like you this way. This beautiful belly is warm and comforting, and it carried my son for nine months.” He pulled her pantaloons down and off and straddled her, drinking in her beautiful, pale skin, such a contrast to his own dark color. He bent close and began kissing her belly.

He took his time, wanting her to relax. He kissed her belly, her breasts again, back to her belly, and to the folds where her legs met her belly. He kissed the hairs that hid the place he loved best, making her suck in her breath and open herself to him, wanting more. He slaked his tongue into her folds and worked it in circles that he knew made her want even more. Katie gasped, mad with pleasure, and opened herself more completely. In minutes, she was clinging to the brass bars at the head of the bed and crying out in a delicious climax. He moved over her belly again, licking it and tracing his tongue up between her very full breasts, kissing her cleavage, tasting hungrily at her nipples again, then meeting her mouth. “I love you and don’t want any other woman,” he told her between kisses. “Understand?”

“Yes.” She threw her arms around his neck. “I love you so much, Lloyd. I just never want you to be disappointed in me. I just—”

Lloyd met her mouth in another searching kiss, cutting off the rest of her sentence. He moved his lips to her neck, brushing at it with his tongue and lips in fluttering, teasing touches. He positioned himself between her legs and she leaned up and kissed at the hard muscle of his arms and shoulders. “I’d die if you did this with another woman, Lloyd. I want to always please you this way.”

“You do please me, Katie Harkner.” He searched her mouth in another demanding kiss, his long, black hair shrouding her face.

His wife never could resist him. He’d always told her that all he wanted was family and love. His dream had always been just to live in peace and raise a family on his own ranch. He pressed his swollen shaft against her, then hesitated, resting on his elbows as he searched her eyes.

“Katie, I’ve had my share of women, and I’m done with that. I’d never hurt you or cheat on you. Never. Understand?”

“Yes,” she said, blinking back more tears.

“And I don’t care if you gain another fifty pounds. I’ll always see you only as the beautiful woman who mothered my children. Nothing else matters, Katie. What matters is that you be proud to be the wife of Lloyd Harkner and the mother of three beautiful children and maybe more. You’re part of the Harkner family and the J&L.”

A tear slipped out of one eye. Lloyd kissed it, then pushed himself inside of her as he grasped her bottom from underneath. “And you’re a part of me!” he added. He buried his face in her thick, red tresses as he pushed deep inside of her. “And I love every damn inch of you,” he groaned next to her ear.

He felt her arch toward him, relished the fact that she cried out with pleasure. He filled her with his groaning need, loving her, wanting her. He surged into her with a desire too long neglected. It was good to be home, his father safe, his mother better, his sister happy, the children playing somewhere.

“I love you, Katie-girl,” he whispered into her ear, taking her hard and fast, his life spilling into her. Evie was right. If God wanted them to have another child, then so be it.

He kissed Katie hungrily, wanting to brand into her that there was no other, wanting to prove to himself things would be good now. The J&L had become a haven for all of them, an escape from the past, a soothing balm for the soul. There was a time when the family had feared life would never be this good. Now he dared to believe it could always be this way, not just for him and Katie, but for all of them.

Still, something didn’t feel right, and he couldn’t figure out what it was. He relaxed beside Katie, pulling her into his arms. Maybe it had something to do with Jake’s confrontation with Brady Fillmore. Soon, he and Jake should pay a visit on their cattle-stealing neighbor.