* * *

I think I might’ve bitten off more than I can chew. I only meant to reassure my girl, so she didn’t get lost in her head, but I forgot what kissing her does to me.

Now that the walls were down and I’d decided to be me instead of rushing home to jerk my shit in the shower after she’d revved me up, I was having a hard time pulling back.

Her parents were right downstairs and could barge through the door at any moment, but each time I tried ending the kiss she’d draw me back in.

“Baby we gotta stop.” She licked inside my mouth with her tongue and my body shook. I pressed my hard-on into her, only my jeans and the softness of her panties keeping me from being inside her. When she wrapped her legs around me I was lost.

I ground myself into her, lost in the taste and feel of her. “I love you so much. Don’t ever try to leave me again; promise.” I took my mouth away from her until she gave me her word.

“I won’t.” I studied her eyes to be sure. The shrink had said to go easy, to help her work her way back into things.

But I know my girl, I know that the only reason she’d done this is because she had nowhere to turn.

I don’t believe for a second that there’s anything wrong with her head, it’s her heart that had been broken. A heart that she’d trusted me with and I’d all but thrown away.

So though I’m willing to play by the doctor’s rules up to a point, I’m not going to treat her like she was some weak wounded bird.

What she was-was someone who’d been wronged. First by whoever had done this and then by me. So therefore it’s up to me to right my wrong.

“I will always take care of you. No one will ever get through me to hurt you again. I need you to believe that and to believe that I hate the way I treated you.”

“It was a dick move and if I have to work at regaining your trust then so be it, but you and me, we’re in this together. You hurt, I hurt. So know that whatever decisions you make in the future impacts me. Tell me you understand me.”

* * *

* * *

“I understand.” Just shut up and kiss me before I explode. He was like every book boyfriend and TV heartthrob rolled into one. And he’s mine.

“I mean it Kristi, from now on, I don’t care what it is or how small and insignificant you may think it is, I want to know if something bothers you.”

I nodded my head and bit into my lip making him squint down at me. He looked down my body and smirked. “Your nipples are hard.”

“Well yeah!” His nostrils flared and I rocked my hips until I felt his hardness digging into me again.

“My bad girl!” We grinned and dove back into the kiss until we both needed air.

“Here, before I forget.” He rolled to his side and pulled a ring from his pocket. Lifting my hand he put it on my finger.

“I already spoke to your dad. We’ll wait until after graduation but when we head to university in the fall you’re going to be my wife.” If my mouth fell open any farther I’d swallow my head.

“Brandon, it’s beautiful.” My eyes filled with more tears and I grabbed him so hard. I felt a little bit guilty, almost as if I were being rewarded for bad behavior and told him as much.

“I had the ring for a while I was just waiting for the right time. I’m giving it to you now so, that whoever out there has it in for us, will see that they can’t divide us. As for rewarding you for bad behavior, next time you pull a dumb ass stunt like this I’ll beat your ass red.”

“Hey!” Okay, he was serious. Whoa. I couldn’t imagine my sweet kindhearted boy spanking my butt but the look on his face said that he was more than up to the task.

For the rest of the evening we watched movies and pigged out on cold burgers and fries. I refused to let him go for longer than it took for him to use the bathroom, and when the time for him to leave came and went and my parents didn’t come to run him off I started to relax.

“My dad knows you’re still here right?”

“Yep.”

“So how come he’s not here breaking down the door and ordering you to leave?”

“I’m not leaving you.”

“Excuse me?” I was in the middle of stuffing a fry in my mouth.

“Babe, you tied a fucking belt around your neck and tried to end it because I wouldn’t talk to you. In the hospital while you were still out, you screamed my name until you were hoarse. I’m not leaving you.”

I wasn’t even embarrassed at the reminder of what I’d done or how I’d acted. It seemed having him here with me, solidly in my corner once again was all I needed to feel whole again. “I must’ve scared them half to death.”

“Yep, that’s why your dad and I came to an understanding. Plus he knows now that I can be trusted alone with you, that I want his daughter for more than her amazing body.”

Yeah there is that. Too bad I’m now more tempted than ever to get rid of that innocence.

Maybe this new wildness was an aftereffect of my near death experience. The thing is, I’d faced the most horrible thing in my life thus far and I’d survived.

Now I want to live my life to the fullest. I want to see things, do things. I couldn’t believe that I felt this happy after all that had happened.

“I want to go on a long road trip this summer.” He nodded his head and took a sip of his drink. “I’m serious, I want to visit the National Parks and see the Rocky Mountains.” My heart beat with renewed fervor.

“Okay we’ll take my truck that girly girl car of yours won’t make it.” I squealed and threw my arms around his neck, falling into him. Any excuse to get close. “Really, you mean it?”

“Whatever you want baby, we’ll talk the parents into letting us go; that might be the hard part. Then again, I think your dad will let you get away with pretty much anything now and I know my parents won’t mind. They’ll be only too happy to get me out from under their feet so they can smooch all the damn time.”

“Our parents really are a little bit embarrassing.” His were just as bad as mine when it came to PDAs, especially around the house. “I wonder if our kids will think the same about us some day.”

“Oh? We’re having children, are you sure?”

“What do you mean?” I glared at him because I knew just what he was getting at. But somehow coming from him it didn’t hurt as much. In fact it was already losing its power.

“I’m not gonna let you forget what you did until you understand the entirety of what you almost gave up.”

“Jackass.” I threw a fry at him.

“Who, you or me?”

“You of course.”

“Yeah, you tried to hang yourself and I’m the jackass.”

“Ugh, you’re a horrible person. Are you going to remind me of this for the rest of my life?”

“Nope, just until you get over it and no one else can hurt you with the reminder.” Geez, how can I still have tears left?

“How did you get this smart Brandon? I’m so glad you’re here.”

He didn’t say anything, just held me in his arms, food forgotten. My heart was so full, I felt so grateful that I had lived.

“You can’t hurt me again Brandon, I don’t think I can survive it.” My voice was soft and low but there was no mistaking the sincerity.

“I know baby, I know.” He gave me another one of his super hugs until I fell asleep. Safe, secure and loved.

* * *

I jumped awake in the dark some time later and panicked until I realized he was still lying next to me in bed. I studied his face by the little sliver of moonlight that came through the windows.

I didn’t think, just leaned in and placed my lips over his. He didn’t open his eyes but his lips opened beneath mine and he accepted my tongue. This kiss was softer, sweeter, more tender, but it didn’t pack any less of a punch.

He took over, rolling me to my back and it was then I realized I was wearing my nightie. He’d changed me while I slept. Something about that was just so damn sexy. But not as sexy as what he was doing with his hands.

They were rough and warm as he moved the silk up my leg until I felt cool air between my thighs. I opened under his hand and trilled at the feel of his fingers where they’d never been before.

I took his tongue into my mouth and suckled as his fingers opened me up and sank in. I started moving even before he had them all the way inside me.

I felt full but there was something missing; I wanted more, I wanted all of him.

I thought I would have to beg, but when he left my lips and sat back to pull my nightie off over my head I knew I wouldn’t have to. And then he took his shirt off and I had a mini O.

My hands went to his beautiful pects and he flexed. “You’re so hard and smooth. I sat up and stole another kiss. Our bare chests met and I went up in flames. His hands in my hair felt safe and strong.

I felt so tiny as he towered over me in bed, like some delicate flower. And when he touched my bare nipple for the first time I felt liquid heat pool between my thighs.

He dropped his hand and took me into his mouth and my back bowed off the bed in complete ecstasy.

I was lost in feelings and emotions. He made love to my tiny morsel of flesh until it grew hard on his tongue, then he switched to the other one.

I held his head against me as my legs moved restlessly against the smooth Egyptian cotton of the sheets.

All I wanted was to feel that hard length now pressing between my thighs inside me.

“Please Brandon.” I tried pulling his head away so I could swallow his tongue again.

“Soon!” Instead he made his way down between my thighs and I felt the most intense feelings in my life. His tongue was like magic as it moved over my hot flesh and nothing had ever felt this good.

That thought was soon altered when he pushed his jeans down his thighs and took my hands in his. Then I felt the most amazing feeling when he pierced me.

The slight burning pain got lost in the enormity of what we were sharing, and how good it felt to have him this close.

We rocked together in the dark, my legs wrapped tightly around his hips trying to get all of him inside me.

Tears of joy streamed down my face as we kissed and he moved in and out of me. I couldn’t believe that I’d almost missed this. That I would’ve never known this…

He was being so gentle with me even as I felt the strength in the arms that wrapped around me holding me close.

I was only slightly embarrassed by the wetness between my thighs and the sounds my body made as he sped up his thrusts.

His growl of satisfaction went right through me, centered in my heart and I flew. I think I passed out or something because when I came to he was kissing my face and whispering to me.

“Wake up baby.” My eyes fluttered open and right into his. He kissed my nose before I felt his body slip out of mine.

Then he was lifting me from the bed and taking me into the shower of my en suite bathroom.

I stood there under the warm spray too dumbfounded and overwhelmed to do much more. He didn’t seem to mind as he washed me from head to toe.

When he stood after washing my feet I saw him for the first time and had to take a deep breath. How the heck did that thing fit inside me? If I didn’t realize that he was already a man that did it.

In the bedroom we saw the evidence of my deflowering. “Oh shit!” I looked at him scared.

“Don’t panic, we’ll wash the sheets.”

“Good idea.” I helped him strip the bed and we snuck downstairs to the laundry room.

We raided the refrigerator while the machine was going and then headed back upstairs once they were in the dryer.

Once the bed had been remade with fresh sheets I climbed in expecting more of the same. His closeness was totally getting to me. And I couldn’t get the sight of him in the shower out of my head.

He refused to touch me. “No, you’re too sore. Go to sleep.” I pouted, I whined but all to no avail. He pulled me into his arms and kept my head down on his chest after switching off the bedside lamp.