Chapter 14

I woke up drenched in sweat. I turned in bed and reached out to the other side. My fingers were met by empty sheets.

I had dismissed Ben Jones from my life. But I hadn’t dismissed him from my dreams. It would have taken awhile, but I could have eventually forgotten what he looked like. I could have made the sight of him disappear from my memory. But I had experienced every sense of him. Smell, sight, taste, touch, and sound, and God I couldn’t forget. And I’d be lying if I said I was even trying.

Stop. I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling. He hadn’t come this morning. He had listened to my request. And now I wished I had never made it. A part of me thought he’d keep coming. He seemed persistent. So where was he? Was he lying in bed thinking about me too?

I closed my eyes tight. I was overloaded by all five senses of him when my eyes were shut. Maybe I’d just lay in bed forever.

 

***

 

There was a correct balance. But I didn’t know what it was. If I wore too much makeup, the gawkers would talk. If I wore too little, they’d scoff behind my back. I tossed the eyeliner back down on the counter.

I was over-thinking it. All I had to do was march into their snotty meeting and make it clear that I wasn’t having an affair. Easy. I looked down at my ankle and sighed. Hobbling into the meeting didn’t seem nearly as effective. But it would have to do.

Even though I had told my husband I had been going to the civic association meetings on a regular basis, I had only ever been to one. I had been to a couple hoity-toity book club meetings too, and that was enough to show me that these women weren’t for me. I had feigned sick at first to avoid them and then they seemed to forget about me. I had tried to stay invisible for the past few years. And now I was willingly walking into the dragon’s lair. I was doomed.

Not only did I need to make them not talk about me and Ben, I also had to make sure they didn’t talk about me being at the meeting. Or else my husband would find out that I didn’t obey his request. That wasn’t an option.

I stuffed my swollen ankle into my boot and did my best not to cringe as I zipped it up. I would have worn yoga pants and sneakers, but I figured that wasn’t the correct attire for these pretentious meetings. Besides, I hadn’t bought new sneakers yet. I tried not to think of what my neighbor was doing with a random lone sneaker in his or her house.

Cheating. Lies. Scandal.

All of it was true. But it was on me. Not that poor, unknowing victim. Hopefully their marriage was strong enough to get through a women’s sneaker appearing with no explanation.

Maybe it would come up in today’s meeting. Item four on the agenda could be my sneaker. I tried to make an innocent face in the mirror and laughed. I was being ridiculous. Unless they had a neighborhood lost and found. Was that a thing?

I groaned and walked out of my bedroom. The boots kept my ankle straight, which made it a little easier to walk. But that didn’t make it any less painful.

I downed several Advil before stepping outside into the crisp autumn evening. Limping into the meeting would cause talk. I needed to pretend everything was perfect. That’s what the gawkers needed to think. That my life was perfect. That their lives were perfect. That everything in the world was freaking perfect.

What a lie. I crossed my arms in front of me. The air was chilly and I wished I had brought a jacket. But I wasn’t going to expend the extra energy to walk back. Not when my ankle was already throbbing. A pillow would have been nice too. Why was I so tired all of the time?

The soles of my boots crunched on top of the leaves. I don’t know what made me realize it, but the colors were breathtakingly vibrant and beautiful. Had I never truly seen autumn leaves before? Yellows, oranges, and reds of all shades. I smiled and I continued to crunch through them. I had been numb for so long. So long that I couldn’t ever remember seeing such beauty.

The meetings took place in the elementary school in our neighborhood. I thought I’d see more people walking, but only cars passed by me. It was probably smart. The sun would be completely set by the time the meeting drew to a close. I should probably try to catch a ride home with Charlotte. I had pretty much claimed that she was my new BFF. There were consequences in lying. Horrible consequences.

I opened the door to the gymnasium. High pitched voices greeted my ears in the most unwelcoming way. But none of the voices were directed at me.

I stared at the other women, all clustered together at the front of the room. Crap. They were wearing dresses. Of course they’re wearing dresses. I sat down in the back row before anyone could assess my jeans and sweater. My whole body seemed to expel awkwardness. I should have walked to the front of the room to socialize. Instead, I pulled out my phone and scrolled through meaningless emails. At least no one would talk if I was invisible.

I almost jumped when someone put their hand on my shoulder.

“Adeline, hon, how good to see you,” Charlotte said. “I hope you’re feeling better.”

“Oh, yeah.” I waved my hand through the air and stuffed my phone back into my purse. “Just a minor sprain. I can barely feel it anymore.”

“You’re lucky Ben Jones was there to help. Such a sweet man, don’t you think?”

“He’s fine, I guess.” I shrugged for added effect. The action made me wince. “I barely know him.”

“Huh.” She stared at me like she was waiting for me to say something.

Don’t bet on it.

“Well, I had a long chat with him the other day. I guess you were in the shower when I dropped off the lasagna…”

“Thank you for that, by the way. It was so nice of you to think of me.” It wasn’t nice. She was being nosy. And I wasn’t thankful. I was just trying to turn the conversation away from Ben. And the fact that I was in the shower when he was in my house. Kill me.

“Not a problem at all. But really, hon, you must spill. All the girls want to know what Ben is like. He’s so secretive. We’re trying to set him up with someone but it’s hard when we don’t know a thing about him”

Why are they all so interested in my gardener? I internally sighed. Mine? He wasn’t mine. And he was so much more than just a gardener. He was smart and kind and had the lips of an angel. “He’s just my gardener. I barely even know him.” It pained me to say the words.

“He was in your house.”

I wanted to slap her. Instead, I clenched my hand into a fist and smiled. “Like you said, I was just lucky he was there to help me when I fell.” This conversation was excruciating.

“Well, he likes gardens. That doesn’t exactly add to our list. We all knew that already. Regardless, the girls and I have someone in mind.” She waved a few women over from the front of the room. “Rosie, Phoenix, you remember Adeline.”

“You haven’t been to the book club meetings in forever,” Rosie said. “Was the last book selection that bad?”

“No, no,” I said with a laugh. “I haven’t been feeling well for awhile.” I really hadn’t. Or rather, I hadn’t been feeling anything at all.

“Well, we’re glad you could make it,” Phoenix said. “We all heard about you hanging out with Ben. We’re hoping you could give us the dirt.”

“I just hired him to handle my lawn care. Nothing more,” I said with a laugh. It sounded so fake. But that didn’t really matter. Everything about these women screamed fake.

“I’d hire him to handle my garden any day,” Rosie said with a wink.

Phoenix laughed and elbowed her in the side.

I was going to rip their throats out. Oh. My. God. I looked down at my hand that was clenched in a fist. I liked him. I really, really liked him. Who acted this jealous if they weren’t smitten? I knew I was attracted to him, but this reaction was intense. Ben and I weren’t supposed to be a thing. We couldn’t be. But if we were, in some crazy way, it would have needed to be purely physical. My emotions were completely out of control though. I unclenched my fist, placed my hands in my lap, and willed them to stop talking about Ben like he was a piece of meat.

“You should hire him. He does great work,” I said.

“You really haven’t learned anything else about him?” Charlotte asked.

“He drives a truck.”

She laughed. “We’ve all seen his truck. He’s so elusive, don’t you think? It just makes him sexier. But you know Sally? Of course you know Sally.”

I freaking knew Sally. Nosy Sally. The nosiest neighbor in the history of nosy neighbors. She was worse than Charlotte. For some reason since she was older, it was harder to hate her, though. “Yup. I’ve met Sally.”

“Well Sally’s daughter just moved back home after finishing med school. Her residency is at Kennett Hospital so it made sense for her to move back for the time being. We all think they’d be great together.”

How could they think that? They knew nothing about Ben. “She’s living with her mother?”

“Yeah, but weren’t you listening? She’s going to be a doctor. She’s a catch. Ben and her would be adorable together. I’m going to try to convince them to grab a coffee together.”

“I doubt he’s into older women.” It was a stupid thing to say. Because obviously he was. But they didn’t know that.

“She’s just a few years older than him. It’s not like she’s 30,” Charlotte said with a laugh.

“Mhm.” My hand had formed into a fist again. Stop it.

“What do you think?” Rosie asked. “Do you think they’d be a good match?”

“I don’t know. Why are you so interested in his love life anyway?”

“Single people in the neighborhood is bad for resale value,” Charlotte said.

That didn’t seem like a true fact. “Really? How would you even check something like that before moving into a neighborhood?”

“Everyone talks. And if there’s single people lurking around, it could lead to the neighborhood turning to a younger crowd…or affairs…or worse.”

I swallowed hard. She knew. She obviously knew. Did she see me kiss him in that parking lot? They were all staring at me. Say something. Say anything! I laughed. “Worse?”

“Like porn factories,” Phoenix said.

“What’s a porn factory?” Rosie asked.

Charlotte shushed them with her hand. “You know what we mean, Adeline. Only bad things can come of it.”

“Okay, but you could set Sally’s daughter up with anyone. Maybe another doctor or someone with something in common with her?”

A bell jingled at the front of the room.

“Two birds with one stone, hon,” she said and patted my shoulder. “We’ll talk later. Wish me luck setting them up!”

“It was great seeing you,” Rosie said and Phoenix added a wave before they followed Charlotte to the front of the room.

Crap, I forgot to ask Charlotte for a ride. I rotated my ankle slowly. The pain was on a whole new level. But I’d have to suck it up on the way home. I wasn’t about to approach those women again. I was worried I’d knock one of them out.