My eyes flew open. It felt like my heart was beating faster than it ever had. God. The dream had been so real. I took a deep breath to calm my rapid heart rate. It was like Ben was right here. Holding me. Kissing me. I touched the side of my neck. His lips had felt so real. The coolness of my fingertips was jarring. Why was it so cold in here? I reached for a blanket but remembered I wasn’t in my bed.

A knock on the door almost caused me to tumble off the couch. But I caught myself at the last second. Pain seared in my left hand. The one that Ben had bandaged. No wonder it was so easy to dream about his touch.

Another knock.

Go away. Was that what had startled me awake? A knock? No one ever knocked on my door beside for the mailman. And we had an understanding. He always left any packages on the doorstep because he knew I refused to answer. One time he had seen me staring through the curtain at him. He had waved. I had let the curtains fall back into place. Now we understood each other. Or so I thought.

I closed my eyes and readjusted myself on the couch. He’d go away. Unless it was a substitute. A sub would be more persistent if something needed signing. Had I even ordered anything recently?

Another knock made me groan. Jesus. Just leave! No mailman tried this hard. Actually, it was probably too late in the day for the mailman. It was…I swallowed hard when I looked at my watch. 11:45 a.m.? I sat back up with a start. How was that possible? I stared at the closed blinds. Light was streaming in through the slits. I had slept all day and all night? My stomach rumbled at the thought of all the missed meals.

I put my hand on my forehead. Sleeping pills had never worked well on me. I’d sleep for a few hours and then wake up restless. But I had slept for almost 24 hours straight.

The knocking had stopped. I was curious if he had decided to just leave the package. Or maybe there’d be a note for a redelivery date. I stood up on one leg and hopped to the front door.

All that sleep had given me more energy too. I felt like going for a run. If only I hadn’t ruined that for myself. Just thinking about not seeing Ben again made me want to cry. It was like I was an addict and he was my drug. How could I see him again? Get a wheelchair and roll down the street to the lawn he mowed? I needed to think of a way. That one encounter would never be enough.

I opened up the door and it was as if I had conjured him to life. I blinked. No, he was really there. Ben. I placed my hand on the doorframe to steady myself.

“Addy, where are your crutches?”

Addy. I held back a sigh. How many times had he groaned my name in my dreams last night? How many times had he whispered in my ear? Or kissed my lips? God, he had just asked me a question. What had he said?

“Addy?”

The daydreams disintegrated as I saw a group of women walking in the distance. The gawkers I called them. Catty women who never took the time to get to know me. Gossiping witches. And they were coming this way.

“What are you doing here?” I hissed.

He lowered his eyebrows in the sexiest way possible. God, I didn’t have time for him to look sexy right now. They were coming!

“I promised you lunch.” He held up the takeout bag in his hand.

The aroma made me drool. It smelled like everything I never ate. Greasy, delicious fries were most likely in that bag. My stomach growled. “And I told you not to come!”

He smiled out of the corner of his mouth like I was amusing to him. “And I decided not to listen.”

He wasn’t supposed to come back. He wasn’t supposed to be this sweet. He wasn’t supposed to ever be more than a daydream. My eyes darted back to the women. They were drawing closer. They were probably already staring at us. Talking. No.

I grabbed the front of Ben’s t-shirt and pulled him into the house. His chest collided with mine and he had to grab my back so that we both didn’t topple to the floor.

The aroma of grass and all things manly filled my nose, making me pause in the middle of my plan to hide him. We stayed pressed together with the door hanging open for the whole neighborhood to see. A public display I couldn’t bother to care about when I was in his arms.

“Well, hello to you too,” he said and tilted his head down to look at me.

His ocean blue eyes were so gorgeous that it almost hurt to stare at them. If I stood on my tiptoes, our lips would only be a fraction of an inch apart. What the hell am I doing right now? I let go of his shirt and slammed the door shut.

“You shouldn’t have come,” I said as I hopped back into the living room and pushed the curtains to the side. The gawkers were walking past. One of the women turned toward the house and I quickly drew the curtains closed. This isn’t happening. I could already hear the rumors. The damage was already done.

“Addy?”

I turned to stare at him. He had clearly asked me a question and I hadn’t been paying attention again.

“If you don’t tell me where your crutches are, I swear I’m going to carry you to the kitchen.”

I laughed.

The foyer was dark, but his smile could light up any room. The realization that he was in my house again made me bite the inside of my lip. What was I supposed to do with him?

I eyed the bag in his hand. Right. Eat. I held my head up high. “I don’t need crutches or for you to carry me.”

“Whatever you say.”

I waited for him to move out of my way. I didn’t need him, but that didn’t mean I wanted him to stare at me hopping around on one foot.

“Well…the kitchen is that way.” I pointed behind him.

“I want to make sure you don’t fall,” he said and waited for me to pass.

God he was infuriating. “We’ve already had this conversation. I’m not 80 years old.” I hopped past him as fast as I could manage.

He grabbed me around the waist as I passed him, and lifted me up so that my back was flush with his chest.

“Put me down!” I squirmed underneath his grip as my feet hovered off the ground.

He laughed in my ear. The feeling of his warm breath and the sound of his amusement made me want to sigh. Instead, I said, “I’m not a child either!” with much less force. Really, I didn’t want him to stop holding me.

We reached the kitchen far too soon and he released me as soon as my good foot hit the tile.

His hand slid off my waist and he walked into the kitchen, completely ignoring my outburst. He set down the takeout bag on the kitchen table and started opening up drawers and cabinets.

“Excuse me,” I said, putting my hands on my hips. What did he think he was doing?

“You’re excused.” He opened up another cabinet. “Aha.” He pulled out two plates and set them down on the counter.

“Would you stop rummaging through my things?”

He glanced at me over his shoulder. “Would you sit down?”

I glared at him.

He gave me a similar look back before continuing to open up drawers.

I sighed and sat down.

“All set,” he said and placed a plate and utensils down in front of me. “Want something to drink?”

“Are you trying to get me drunk again?”

He raised his left eyebrow. “It’s barely noon, woman. What are you trying to do to me?”

Unspeakable things. I laughed. “The glasses are in the cabinet on the far left. And there’s a Brita pitcher in the fridge.”

“Two glasses of water coming right up. We can save the hard liquor for later.”

Later? “How long are you planning on staying?”

He poured the water without answering me.

“Ben, I have a million things to do.” Such a statement was always an exaggeration. But to me it was especially so. I had absolutely nothing to do.

“What things can you possibly achieve when you can’t walk? Snort cocaine?” He sat down next to me in the only other seat and opened up the bag like what he had just said wasn’t at all odd.

“Excuse me? I’m not going to do drugs with you. I don’t know what kind of illegal things 23 year olds do, but I…”

“I saw the powder in your sink.” He pulled out a wrapped sandwich and placed it on my plate without looking at me.

Powder? I looked over at the sink. Oh, God. “No, that’s not…” my voice trailed off. Technically, I had tossed a bunch of drugs down the garbage disposal yesterday. Some of the grindings must have still been in the sink.

“It would explain why you’re so fidgety.”

“I don’t do illegal drugs. And I’m not fidgety.” I willed my knee to stop bouncing. He made me nervous, that was all.

“So…prescription drugs then?”

“No actually. Not anymore.” I thought about the one prescription that I hid in the pantry. The one I’d never stop taking.

“What did you used to take then?”

“None of your business.”

“Well, what were they for?”

“What, you want a list of my problems? How dare you barge in here and be…be… so demanding.”

He put his elbows on the table and leaned forward slightly. “Doll, you literally pulled me inside your home. And I’m not being demanding, I’m just making conversation.”

Doll. My mind seemed to focus on the most random parts of his sentences.

“But I wasn’t trying to make you uncomfortable. Forget that I asked. He pulled out the other sandwich, unwrapped it, and then dumped some fries on my plate.

“How would you feel if I asked you what prescriptions you took?” I unwrapped my sandwich and tried to ignore him.

“I’d tell you that I don’t take any.”

“Just illegal ones then?”

He laughed. “No. My only vice is the occasional drink with a beautiful woman.”

I stared down at the burger I had just unwrapped. It was topped with crunchy onion straws and there was a delicious looking sauce dripping down the sides. He had called me beautiful. Yet, I couldn’t look up at him. I didn’t want to know if he was being patronizing or serious. So instead of looking, I pushed the utensils to the side, lifted up the burger, and took a huge bite.

“Are you trying to make me fall in love with you?”

“What?” I said with my mouth still full.

He laughed. “The last date I went on, the girl ordered a salad and only ate half.”

“If that’s a challenge to see if I can eat this whole thing, you’re on.” I swallowed the bite still in my mouth. “I slept for 24 hours straight. I’m starving.”

“Twenty four hours? Was meeting me really that exhausting?”

“Excruciatingly so.” This burger was everything delicious in the world. I couldn’t remember the last time I had eaten a burger. Or red meat. Or fries. I started to shovel those in my mouth as well without even realizing what I was doing.

Ben laughed.

I looked up at him mid-chew and realized I must look like a starving animal. I swallowed and cleared my throat. “Please don’t stare at me while I eat, it makes me nervous.”

“Please? Did you really just say please? I think that was the first nice thing that I’ve ever heard come out of your mouth.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I said.

“Do you even know how to give a compliment?” He smiled as if he had me right where he wanted me.

“Of course I do.”

“Then let me hear one.” He leaned forward slightly as he waited.

“It’s not a compliment if you have to beg for it.”

“It doesn’t have to be about me. I just brought you lunch. You could thank me for that.”

“But I asked you not to bring it.”

He shrugged his shoulders. “I think you just proved me right.”

I didn’t want him to think I hated him when it was so fiercely untrue. “You look very nice today. Cleaner than yesterday.”

He laughed. “The first half of that was a compliment. The second half was an insult.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being dirty,” I said and picked up a fry.

I thought maybe I imagined it yesterday. But I don’t think I had. Because his Adam’s apple had just risen and fallen again. The action made me press my thighs together.

“No, there’s definitely nothing wrong with being dirty,” he said.

I bit the inside of my lip. How long did he say he was staying? I had a feeling that as time ticked by I’d have a harder and harder time keeping my hands to myself.