The president of the civic association was droning on and on about how important it was that no sheds were built in anyone’s yard. Why did she care so much? No one would even be able to see them from the street.
I opened my eyes up wide to try to make myself stay awake. I should have tried to slip out before the meeting started. The conversation with Charlotte and the other women hadn’t gone great. But I had held my ground. And if they were trying to set Ben up with Sally’s daughter, then clearly they didn’t think anything was going on between me and him. Right?
I started tapping my foot and immediately stopped. The pain was searing. This extra strength Advil was total bullshit. It was worse than normal Advil. All it did was make me sleepy.
Stay awake. I glanced down at my watch. How had it only been five minutes?
My mind wandered back to Ben. What was he doing right now? Eating dinner probably. My stomach growled. Nothing I ate was as good as that burger he had brought me. I wished I had asked him where it was from. Now I’d never know.
It was strange, but I had this overwhelming feeling of loss. Not because of the burger. Well, partially because of the burger. It was delicious. But mainly because of Ben. I barely even knew him. Why was I so fixated on him? All I knew was that I was happy when he had showed up on Monday morning. I had been looking forward to seeing him all weekend. For months he was all I had looked forward to. And that was just when I would see him. Now that we had talked? Touched? Kissed? God.
He was perfect for me. Somehow I just knew. But I was technically committed to someone else. I twirled my wedding band with my thumb. I just needed to learn how to smile and hide the truth. It was something I was used to doing. I needed to bury my feelings in a pit and walk away.
But that kiss. How could I forget that kiss?
“Is this seat taken?”
I had been replaying Ben’s voice in my mind on repeat. I knew before I even looked up that it was him. It felt like my heart started beating again when my eyes met his. His proximity made me feel cold and hot at the same time. He was the only one that could make me feel alive.
But what the hell was he doing here? I had just done damage control. He was going to ruin everything. “What are you doing here?” I shoved my left hand between my thighs to hide my wedding band and engagement ring. Had he seen it? Why did I even care?
He sat down as if my words were an invitation.“It’s for members of the community.”
“Yeah, I know,” I said.
He took off his jacket and settled into his seat.
“So…leave,” I added.
“Does it really pain you that much to sit next to me for an hour?” He was smiling at me.
“That’s not it.” I was having a hard time keeping my voice down. “I just cleared the air with the gawkers. And now you’re here sitting next to me. You’re probably not even allowed in here. Are you stalking me?”
He laughed. “Gawkers?” When I didn’t say anything he continued. “Addy, I’m here because I’m part of the neighborhood and I want to know what’s going on. Honestly, it has nothing to do with you. But thanks for letting me know about the meetings.” He turned to face the front of the room.
Nothing to do with me? What an ass. “You’re hardly part of the neighborhood.”
“You’re really stuck up, do you know that?” He was still looking at the president instead of at me.
And it made me jealous. And sad that he wasn’t here to see me. “I’m not…” I let my voice fade off. “You’re not getting it. It’s for people who live in the community. Not work in it.”
He finally turned back to face me. “You’ve been to my house, Addy.”
“No I haven’t. You keep showing up at mine uninvited.”
He put his arm on the back of my chair. He wasn’t touching me, but it was like he was claiming my whole body as his. Any chill that I was feeling was replaced by warmth. “Were you so drunk the first day we met that you don’t remember coming into my home?”
“I remember going into the house where you were mowing the lawn. Not your house. Some really organized couple who likes white.”
“So you think that because I own a landscaping company that I can’t afford a house in this neighborhood?”
“I didn’t say that, but…”
“That was my house. I like things clean.”
“I’ve run past that house every day for a year. You and your truck are only ever there on Thursday mornings.”
“And I’m the stalker?”
I ignored his comment. “Fine. Whatever. I stalked you. But at least I’m not lying. You do lawn care at that house. There’s no way you own it. I’d know.”
“Owning a landscaping company means I need to go to other houses during the day. Thursday mornings I take off to make sure my property looks good. What kind of landscaper would I be if my own lawn was a mess?”
“I’ve been by at night a few times…”
“When I park my truck in the garage. Because I don’t need my tools from it.”
“If it’s your house then…then…where is my shoe?”
“What shoe?”
“My sneaker. You took it off of me so I could ice my ankle. And I left it in that house. If you lived there you would have brought it back to me.”
“I haven’t seen your sneaker.”
“Then you don’t live there.”
“I do live there.”
“Then you stole my shoe!” Oh my God. How loudly did I say that? No one seemed to be staring at me besides for Ben.
“I haven’t stolen your sneaker. You can even come look for it if you’d like.”
“You’re just trying to get me back to your place. Or someplace. Whatever that place is. Oh my god, do you run a porn factory there while the owners are away?”
“What? No. To both things.”
I swallowed hard and turned to him. “No?” I had never hated that word so much.
“I heard you loud and clear the other day. You wanted a friend and I crossed the line. I’m sorry about that. Seeing you here was a coincidence. But I thought I’d take the opportunity to apologize. End of our story. Just like you want.”
End of our story. I blinked at him. Great. End of our fucking story then. “Awesome. Well, it was great knowing you, Ben. I hope you have fun on your date with Sally’s daughter. And just for the record, she lives with her mother.”
I grabbed my purse and slid out of my seat. I was such an idiot. I had been so happy to see him. And he was probably pissed that I was here. I crossed my arms to hide my rings and practically ran out of gymnasium.
I didn’t get far before my ankle gave out. Damn it. I sat down on a curb, pulled off my rings, and shoved them into my purse. I wanted to go back to last Wednesday. Before I had heard his voice. Before I had felt his touch. I wanted the memories to go away.
The leaves crunched beneath me as I leaned back into the grass. What a lie. I needed to savor those few good memories if I wanted to keep breathing. My eyes focused on the stars above me and I made a wish. A stupid wish that a stupid girl might make. Let him chase after me.
But I wasn’t in a rom-com. If anything I was in a horror movie. And a knight in shining armor wasn’t going save me. And a prince wasn’t going to bring me my missing shoe. The stars started to blur above me.
“I don’t want this to be the end of our story. I said that because I thought it was what you wanted…” Ben blocked out my view of the stars. The sight of him was more glorious than any starlit sky.
“I lied.”
“Why?”
Because I’m so scared. I shrugged my shoulders. Ow.
He sighed. “I’m too old to play games…”
“You’re only 23.”
“Tell me what you want, Addy.” His voice was demanding. He didn’t sound 23. He sounded strong and competent and so sexy.
You. I wanted anything he’d give me. Everything he’d give me. But I couldn’t say that. “A burger.”
“That wasn’t what I was expecting you to say.”
“When do I ever say anything you expect me to say?”
“Fair point.”
“I want one of the burgers like the one you brought me the other day. I’m starving…”
“Then let’s go eat.” He put his hand out for me.
I stared at it. I felt like I was imagining this moment. “Are you asking me out to dinner?”
He smiled. “Yes, Addy. I’m asking you out to dinner.”
I glanced toward the school. No one else was walking or driving this way. He must have left the meeting early too.
I put my hand into his and I did my best not to cry. Because I wasn’t sure my hand had ever felt so comforted by someone else’s.