Eleven

 

 

aturday Week Three. Eleven weeks until study vacation began, which only meant about thirteen weeks until relative freedom. We had one text left in English before revision started and it was one I looked forward to immensely. We were onto The Picture of Dorian Gray. I hadn’t read it yet, but I knew plenty about it and Oscar Wilde, and had seen the Ben Barnes movie, so I was pretty excited.

I was curled up in the chair in my room, getting a late start on my reading when an entirely different Ben shambled past my room.

“You’re not going out? It’s Saturday,” he said, as though I was incapable of remembering the days of the week, leaning in my doorway.

I shook my head without looking up. “Cole has something on, Cass and Rach are on a date, and Beat and I thought we’d get some study in.”

To be fair, Cassidy and Rachel – though I forgot who Rachel was out with – had invited us to their double date, but we didn’t really feel like being extra wheels while they got groped in the movie theatre. As much as I loved my friends, that was just not my idea of a good night.

Ben snorted. “Geez, you’re hip.”

“Says you, what are you doing tonight?”

“Hanging out with friends online.”

“I’m not sure I’d call them friends, Benny, you’ve never met them,” I said, looking up at him.

“Eh, they’re friends enough for playing games.” He shrugged.

“What about Matt?”

“He’s busy too. Dinner or something.”

I nodded. “Fair enough.”

“We could Mario Kart?” Ben asked, sounding hopeful.

I smiled. “Why don’t you play some Halo, and I’ll head down to play something with you after I’ve made a dent in this.” I waved the book at him.

“All righty.” He smiled and wandered off humming.

On impulse, I checked my phone. I hadn’t heard anything from Cole since I’d seen him at Matt’s game that morning. Not that I expected to hear from him every minute of the day or anything, I just found myself missing him. I sent him a how’s things text and went back to my book.

I totally lost track of time and didn’t realise how late it was until my phone buzzed. The clock said it was almost midnight and there was a text from Cole. I smiled as I opened it, and then frowned as I read it.

Cole: I’ll be home when I’m home.

I assumed it was supposed to go to Phyllis, but I wondered why he wasn’t home when I thought he was supposed to be. I dialled his number.

“Hello?” he answered, sounding angry.

“You okay?”

“Hannibal?”

“Yeah…”

“Hi!” he sounded a tad less angry, but not by much.

“Hi. How are you?”

“Fine, why?”

“Um, just, I think you sent me a text meant for Phyllis.”

“Oh, right… Thanks.”

“What are you up to?”

“Nothing much, just wandering.”

I took a quick look outside. It had been getting marginally warmer, but it was still cold out. “Wandering where?’

“Around.”

“Okay then… Did you want some company?”

He was silent for a moment. “If you want. I’ll meet you at the bench near the willow?”

“Okay then. Bye.”

He hung up. I looked at the phone for a second as though it could give me the answers to Cole’s soul. But, of course, it couldn’t. Shaking my head, I got changed and headed downstairs. Mum was watching television and Dad was reading a book.

“You going out, sweetie?” Dad asked, looking up.

“Uh, is that okay? I won’t be long.”

“Sure. Ben went to bed a bit ago, we told him not to bother you.”

I smiled. “He wouldn’t have bothered me.”

“Honey, you don’t have to entertain your little brother all the time.”

I shrugged. “I don’t mind hanging out with him.”

Mum and Dad smiled. “We appreciate it, girl.”

I nodded. “Listen, I better go.”

“Meeting Cole?”

“Yeah…”

“Just don’t stay out all night, this time. You guys want to spend the night together, do it in a bed,” Dad said.

“Oh, God… Nope… Nope. Bye, guys.”

“Bye, sweetie!”

I hurried out, trying not to think too heavily about what Dad had said. I kept my hands in my pockets and my head down as I walked to the bench Cole had designated. He was there when I got there, slumped on the bench, surrounded by cigarette butts and an empty liquor bottle at his feet.

“Cole?” I asked.

He sat up when he saw me, smiling hugely.

“Hi!” He seemed brighter than when I’d spoken to him and I wondered at the change in his attitude. Maybe the alcohol?

“Hi.” I smiled, unable to help myself at the sight of his happy face.

“I drank all the drink, so I can’t offer you any.”

“Uh, that’s okay.” I stood in front of him.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me down so I was straddling his lap.

“I missed you,” he said, hugging me. Was he smelling my hair?

“I missed you, too.” I laughed as his kiss tickled my neck. “How did the dinner go?”

He pulled away, his gaze dark.

“That well, huh?” I asked. “Want to talk about it?”

He frowned. “Have I ever told you why Matty and I live with Grandma?” he asked.

I shook my head. “No, I don’t think so.”

“We lived with our Mum until Matty was about four or five, right?” he started.

“Cole, you don’t-” He put his finger on my lips.

“She left Dad just after Matt was born and I was…six? you see, and we hadn’t seen him for a long time. But, then Mum…” there was a long pause, “died. Grandma tried to take us then, but Dad wouldn’t have it.” He laughed darkly and I wasn’t sure if I should interrupt or not. “So, we lived with Dad for something like four years. Finally, two years ago, Grandma came to us. She said she was taking us. We lived with her near Dad for a while, while custody was sorted, then, last year she won. We came to live here with her for good.” He took a breath and I thought he was going to continue, but he didn’t.

“That’s awful, Cole. I’m sorry,” I said, wrapping myself around him.

He shrugged under me, his face in my neck. I wasn’t sure if he had tears in his eyes or if he was dribbling… Suddenly, he pulled away and smiled, but his eyes shone like there were tears there.

“Anyway, now we live well, I hear. And, I have you.”

“Of course, you do,” I said, trying not to sound patronising. “I’m not going anywhere.”

He looked at me, searching for something. “Even if I’ve got no future? Even if I come from bad stock and will always be bad stock?”

I tried not to let my confusion show. “Cole, you have a future…we have a future. And, you’re not bad stock.” I took his face in my hands. “Where’s this coming from? This doubt?”

He shrugged it off, smiling happily again. “Nothing, it’s fine. I’m fine, you’re right.”

I looked into his face, but he seemed keen to move on. “Have you started the new book yet?”

“What book?”

“The English book.”

“Dorian Gray?” he asked and I nodded. “I don’t need to.”

I groaned. “Cole, just once, please read the book. It will make doing the essay so much easier. Remember who has to help you!”

He flashed me a grin. “Who has to help me?”

“Your long-suffering girlfriend has to help you,” I said dramatically.

“You don’t have to worry.”

“Why not? I don’t want to have to go through the plot with you again, and then answer all the questions because I apparently forgot bits. You could do really well on just one essay this year- What?” I asked since he was laughing at me.

“I’ve already read it.”

“What?”

He nodded. “I’ve read all the texts, well before this year even.”

“I’m sorry?” I looked at him, completely flabbergasted. “You’d read Frankenstein and Pride and Prejudice? As in, before we had to do our assignment on them?”

He nodded.

“So the conversations we had about how stupid Lizzy and Darcy seemed? And how he totally loved her from the beginning…?”

He nodded. “I just wanted to mess with you.”

I sighed and leaned my forehead on his, hitting his chest playfully. He grunted as though it hurt and I gave him a quizzical look.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” he said. “I’ll show you.”

He pulled me closer to him and kissed me. He tasted like alcohol, but there was a sweetness to it and I soon lost myself in his kiss.

“Cole, settle down,” I giggled.

“What?”

“Someone’s going to come past and think we’re doing things we’re not!”

“Let them,” he said against my neck.

“Cole!”

“No one’s coming…” He coughed and I tried not to laugh. “No one’s going to see us, it’s after midnight, and it’s freezing. Now, shush and keep me warm,” he said before kissing me fiercely.

I laughed again and was very glad when no one came…passed and thought we were getting up to things we weren’t. Although, it was a very nice night.

 

¢

 

Cole seemed a bit distant after that night. Not in terms of how he held my hand or kissed me, he was just less chatty, less upbeat. I could guess something had happened, I wasn’t a total idiot, but there never seemed a right time to bring it up.

He seemed tired all the time, and didn’t focus well. Ben had heard from Matt that he was out at night a lot, drank a lot, and got into fights. I didn’t have to ask him, the evidence was on his hands if not elsewhere; his knuckles were bruised.

Except for being less chatty and tired, he didn’t change his behaviour towards me. He always smiled happily when he saw me, he hugged me, and he kissed me like nothing had changed. If anything, he smiled brighter, hugged me tighter, and kissed me harder, as though he thought we’d never see each other again.

About three weeks after the one-side-drunk make-out session in the middle of the night, he turned up to school with a noticeable limp. Of all the fights he’d been in, I’d never seen him limp.

“You okay?” I asked.

“Yeah, fine. Just missed a step and twisted my ankle coming down the stairs this morning.”

I nodded and kissed him. “Okay, then.”

“We need to get looking into dresses, girls,” Cassidy was saying, again.

“Does she ever not worry about dresses?” Cole whispered in my ear.

I shook my head against his shoulder. “Never, dresses are a very important business, Mister Fielding.”

“I’ll have to take your word for it.”

“Do, I’m very reliable,” I laughed.

“Can I walk you to coaching after school?”

I pretended to think about it for a moment. “Yes, I think that is entirely acceptable.”

He laughed. “Good.”

Cassidy droned on about dresses for the rest of the day, when it wasn’t taken up with the teachers inconveniently trying to teach us. Rude, right? There was the discussion about what colours would suit us, what colours we’d worn previously, and therefore what colours were left for us to choose from. There was a discussion about styles, what lengths and cuts would be appropriate for our last school dance. Then, there was the discussion on materials – the boys were not the only ones to tune out during that one!

By the end of the day, I was glad to have an excuse to escape Cassidy and her incessant babble – much as I loved the girl.

“Maybe ask Trudy about dresses?” Cassidy hissed in my ear as I hugged her goodbye.

“You know, Cole isn’t going to tell Trudy Jones you know about fashion,” I hissed back.

“You don’t know that.” She smiled.

I did know that, but there was no use arguing with her.

Cole and I walked over to the Middle School and I decided to broach the subject and get it out of the way. Cassidy was only going to become more incessant as time went on and already thought I should have secured an answer by now – according to Cassidy I needed to “stop with all the kissing business and focus on more important things, like dresses”. I still smiled when I thought of those words coming out of her mouth.

“So…” I started.

“So?” Cole asked, humour evident in his tone.

“I have a favour to ask.”

“Cassidy wants me to ask Aunt Trudy about dresses?”

I shut my mouth and nodded.

Cole laughed. “I’ll call her while we’re at practice; probably get her to bring some stuff around on the weekend?”

“Seriously?”

He nodded. “Why not? The Jones’ have plenty of money and Trudy’s got heaps of things to choose from.”

“And you know this because you dream of wearing all the pretty dresses?”

He let go of my hand and put his arm around me. “No, I listen to Grandma occasionally.”

“Of course. Not the dresses at all.”

“They are very nice. What do you think would be my colour? I’m thinking red. Maybe some bejewelling?”

I snorted. “I don’t know. Red is very bold.”

“I think I could pull it off.”

“I’d pull it off,” I remarked.

He sniggered then pulled me in for a kiss mid-stride, almost toppling us over. “I bet you would, Hannibal, I bet you would. I look forward to it.”

“I look forward to seeing you in a red dress,” I chortled.

We got to the Middle School for practice without falling over and I set them about their drills. I was amazed how much better they all were from their first practice. I was almost sad that we only had three more weeks after that, and that this was my last year… Maybe I could come back next year to coach, if my timetable allowed it? I wasn’t planning to go far for university; it could work?

“Okay, nice work guys and gals, bring it in for a second before you head home, yeah?” I called at quarter to five.

They all huddled around me, waiting expectantly. Other than missing them, I was going to miss the power I had over these small humans. Terrible, isn’t it? Oh well, I can’t lie about it.

“All right, so you guys know, it’s last game of the season in Week Nine, so there’s no practice Week Ten.”

They all groaned and I smiled, wondering where my enthusiasm was when I was their age.

“I know, I know. But, I thought, as a special treat, I’d take you guys out in practice time and we’d have a bit of a celebration. There may even be some pizza and prizes…?” I said, drawing it out for their reaction. They all beamed and most of them started bouncing up and down. “Okay, okay, calm, grasshoppers. Grab yourself a slip and get your parents to sign it, and then bring it back next week. Parents welcome too, you know!” I called so the parents could hear me. Most of them smiled and waved in thanks.

I passed out the slips, answering questions or comments as the kids filed past.

Matt was last, looking slightly worried. He took his slip and looked between it and Cole. Cole knelt down and smiled at him.

“Don’t worry, Matty. Grandma can sign it. Hell, I can probably sign it,” he said.

Matt hugged him, nodding, and then went to get his bags. Ben arrived shortly after with his stuff. Matt perked up somewhat as the two boys got chatting and we all headed home.

I’d noticed Matt had been a little quieter lately as well. I wondered if bringing it up would give me any insight into what was bothering Cole.

“Matt seems a little quiet these days?”

“Sorry?” Cole looked at me as though he hadn’t been listening.

“I just said Matt seems a little preoccupied. Is everything okay?”

“Oh, yeah, yeah. Family stuff, you know?”

I didn’t at all, but I nodded. “His leg still bothering him? It seems a bit stiff.”

“I think he’s okay,” Cole said dismissively.

I nodded again, knowing to drop it.

Cole changed the subject anyway. “You’re great with the kids. I’m thinking you’d be great with your own.”

I almost stopped walking. “You think about me being a good mum?”

He looked down at the pavement. “Not like that… I mean, you would be though.”

I smiled at his discomfort, wondering if he thought of me as more than just a mum.

 

¢

 

Cassidy squealed again and I winced.

“Jesus, woman, it’s not that exciting!” I huffed.

We’d just got within eyeshot of Phyllis’ and Trudy was standing at the door waving.

“It’s Trudy Jones, Rory!” she hissed in excitement.

“I am aware of that, Cass. I just didn’t realise it was so exciting.”

“She’s a genius, though.”

“She’s also a person. Don’t give me cause to regret our friendship, okay,” I whispered as the four of us started up the steps to the back door. “Hey Trudy.”

“Rory, great to see you again!” Trudy pulled me into an unexpected hug.

When she released me, I introduced the girls. “Cassidy, here is a big fan of your work. This is Rachel, and Beatrice, but we call her Beat.

“Beat, that’s an interesting one,” Trudy said, inviting us in and smiling around at the girls.

“My parents call me Tibby, if it helps?” Beat smiled.

“Beat’s fine if it’s what you prefer.”

Beat nodded, smiling.

Trudy helped me hang up our coats and then looked around, beaming.

“All right ladies, shall we go up and look at some dresses?”

Cassidy cut herself off mid-squeal as she and Rachel clasped hands, and I rolled my eyes as we followed Trudy through the house. Phyllis was coming down the stairs and I held back from the rest of them as they wandered up.

“Hello, Aurora.” She smiled.

“Hi, Phyllis. How are you?”

“Wonderful, thank you.” She nodded her head in the direction the others had gone. “Trudy was very excited when Cole called. To be honest, I think she was just happy he asked her for something. Matt and Cole have had a hard time adjusting, but Cole the most. You bring out the good in him, Aurora.”

I blushed slightly at the warmth in her tone. “Is he home?”

She nodded and waved towards the bedrooms. “Upstairs I think. Don’t be too long, or Trudy will come looking for you. She has one dress in particular picked out for you, I believe.”

“That’s very kind of her.”

Phyllis shrugged as she started walking away. “She’s very fond of you, dear, we all are,” she called over her shoulder.

I hurried up the stairs, making a beeline for Cole’s room. His door was open and I saw he was out on the balcony, his back to me. I stood in the door a moment, admiring him in his low cut jeans and white shirt, the sleeves rolled up. He stabbed a cigarette into the ashtray at his side and ran a hand through his hair before leaning on the edge of the balcony.

Tearing my eyes from his backside, I walked over to him and put my hand on his back. He spun, his look of shock instantly replaced by a smile. He cupped my cheeks and pulled me in for a kiss.

“Hi,” he said when he’d pulled away.

“Hi.” I smiled. “How’s things?”

He looked into the street quickly. I noticed he looked in the direction of a car. I could just see there was someone sitting in it. He turned back to me.

“Good, things are good. I expected you later.”

I rolled my eyes. “Cass wouldn’t wait to meet the fabulous Trudy Jones. I’m surprised she didn’t make us miss our game to come right over.”

“Well, I hear dresses are an important issue.”

“I’ll try and find you a nice red one.”

He laughed. “Please do, I want to be the belle of the ball.”

I snorted. “I think you’d look much more dashing in your tux.”

“You like a man in a suit?”

I smiled coyly. “There’s nothing wrong with a man in a suit.”

He wrapped his hands around my waist. “Well, maybe I’ll forgo the red dress in favour of my tux, then.”

“Oh, you’d do that for me?” I teased.

“I’d do anything for you,” he murmured, looking at me intently and I blushed.

I half-expected him to make some joke, defuse the seriousness of his statement. But, he didn’t, he just searched my eyes, his seeming darker. I wasn’t sure what a good answer to that was; reiterating his statement seemed a bit cheap and saying thanks might sound like I didn’t care. I smiled at him, hoping to convey all my feelings in one look before lightening the mood.

“Well, I expect more than one dance this time, then.” I said, very matter-of-fact.

He seemed to think about it for a moment. “All right.”

I gave him a quick kiss. “Well, I’d best go and choose a dress then, otherwise your partner may be in the nude.”

“I’d be okay with that.”

I laughed. “You might be, but I think Matron Peters might not approve. I should head up before Cassidy comes and drags me up.”

He chuckled. “They’re up there now?” I nodded. “I’d best not keep you then. Although, I’d much prefer to keep you all to myself.”

“Later,” I promised, giving him another kiss.

“I’ll hold you to that.” He smiled, patting my butt playfully as I left.

I rushed up the stairs, hearing Cassidy and Rachel well before I saw them. I stopped at the door to the dressing room, set up much as it had been for Mum and me a few weeks ago. Cassidy was walking around in a grey dress, the back undone, as she sifted through the racks. Rachel must have been changing and Beat just looked overwhelmed. She turned and smiled when she saw me.

“Oh, Rory, thank God!” Beat laughed. “I have no idea what I’m doing and Trudy had to take a call.”

“You think I have any more idea?” I asked.

“You’re better at this stuff than me.”

I snorted. “Seriously? You’ve seen my wardrobe…”

She looked at me pleadingly.

“Argh, I’ll do my best. What colour?”

We spent a few minutes hunting through the dresses. After a while, I realised that Beat seemed hesitant, like she wasn’t really paying attention. Trudy was back and helping Cassidy. I took Beat’s arm and pulled her into a quiet corner.

“Is there anything we need to talk about?”

She looked panicked for a moment, then relaxed and sighed. “I may as well tell you. I’ve been chatting with Becca…”

“And?” I asked, not sure if I was supposed to be excited or get ready to support Beat’s heartache.

“And, we’re talking about going to the formal together,” she said, a small smile creeping onto her face. “She’s not sure if she’s ready for that yet, but she says she wants to be.”

I remembered a similar conversation before the Winter Dance. Every part of me wanted to council Beat to shield her heart and be ready in case Becca pulled away again. But, the look on her face stopped me saying exactly what I wanted. She looked too cautiously hopeful, and I couldn’t take that away from her.

“Well, I hope she decides she is ready. You know you have us if anything…”

She nodded.

“Are you guys spending much time together outside school?”

“A bit, yeah. We’ve been out a few times. Not out, out, like a proper date, I guess, but we talk and laugh… I really like her Rory…” She sighed. “Am I being an idiot?”

“What do you mean, Beat?”

“Am I waiting for something that’s never going to happen?” she asked. I opened my mouth to answer but she ploughed on. “I mean, you have Cole – I’ve seen the way he looks at you, if he hasn’t told you he loves you, he’s going to, soon – and even Cassidy seems to have found a stable boyfriend. Rachel… Well, I don’t know what’s going on with her, but she dates. Am I just going to be left on my own, watching while the rest of you get happy endings?”

I ignored her comment about Cole for now, more concerned about how despondent she sounded.

“Oh, honey.” I pulled her into a hug. “Of course not. School girls are stupid, we know that.” She laughed a little. “We’ve got ten weeks until we’re out of that place, then you can go anywhere you want, meet anyone you want. If Becca doesn’t pull her finger out and realise how great you are, then there’ll be someone out there who does. And, I’ll always be by your side. Besides, you’ve always got Poor Patrick to fall back on.”

She laughed again and I let her go. She smiled. “Thanks, Rory.”

I shook my head. “You don’t have to thank your best friend for doing her job, Beat; it’d be like thanking your lungs for breathing. I don’t know how to do anything else when it comes to you.”

“I should probably thank my lungs for breathing more often…”

“They have kept you alive.”

“Exactly.”

I put my arm around her shoulder, pleased she seemed happier, and we headed back to the dress racks.

“They might not keep doing it if I’m not appreciative.”

“Well, if they deserve you, they’ll know without you having to say anything,” I replied and Beat smiled.

“Oh, Rory!” Trudy called. “Good, I have a great dress to put you in. I think it will suit you really well! And, Beat, I think I’ve found something for you, too.”

I exchanged a glance with Beat. Dress choosing was much easier with someone who did the job for you. Which, we usually did, but Trudy was a much easier chooser to get along with than Cassidy.

Cassidy usually picked dresses for you that showed too much skin in all the awkward places, dresses she’d wear with her perfectly shapely body but looked terrible on the rest of us. Trudy, on the other hand, found dresses that actually suited our body shapes, in colours that matched our complexions.

However, knowing all that, I still wasn’t ready for the red satin gown she held up for me, a huge grin on her face.

It looks like Cole will get his red dress after all…sort of. I thought as I walked forward to take it.