Fifteen

 

 

ater that night, the girls had got me dressed up and out of the house just as Declan arrived with Mike, Patrick, Chris, and Luke, whose arm was still in a cast. I’d had no time to ask them why they were there.

Instead, I was whisked off to a lovely dinner at my favourite restaurant down the road – nice and convenient that we could walk to and from. I was charged with getting the wine, which I proudly did. Although, I was a bit miffed when they didn’t ask for my ID.

We ate and drank for what felt like hours, all slightly buzzed by the time we were heading back down the road to my place.

The girls had procured a lovely blue cocktail dress for the occasion, with a v-neck and swishy skirt. It wrapped around me snugly; in my semi-drunken state, I likened it to Cole’s arms and giggled, feeling myself flush as I thought of them. They had also got me a white sash with blue writing that proudly announced ‘I’m 18 today’ – maybe that was why the people at the restaurant hadn’t asked for my ID?

Boys we passed on the street whistled at us and called out ‘happy birthday’, but I didn’t think there was anything to fear from them. Most of them were barely older than us and gave us no indication they wanted to stop us or talk to us; they were just having a laugh.

We were almost back to my house, singing along as we walked – thank God, I had been allowed to wear flats! – when a couple of guys stepped in front of us. They looked nice enough in chinos and pale button down shirts.

“Hi.” I smiled, feeling my brain in that nice warm, fuzzy place.

They two guys smiled. “Hi,” one said. He had dark blonde hair, swept back from his face. The other guy was a brunette and they looked very similar and somewhat familiar too.

“Are you the girl from number thirty-two?” Brunette asked and I nodded. “Hi. I’m Mark, this is my brother Dylan, we’re at twenty-seven.”

Now I recognised them; I’d never really spoken to them, but sometimes the residents had get togethers at the park – usually at Christmas – and I’d smiled ‘hi’ at them once or twice. Mum and Dad knew their parents quite well, though, I thought.

“Oh, hi! I’m Rory. Cassidy, Rachel, and Beat.” I smiled, pointing the girls out.

“I take it it’s your birthday?” Mark asked, nodding politely to the girls.

I nodded, still feeling ridiculously proud to have made it to eighteen, like there should be some life achievement for not dying first. “It is.”

“So, that’s your party being set up?”

“Shh!” Rachel giggled. “It’s a surprise!”

Mark looked decently mollified. “I’m very sorry.”

“You two can come if you like?” Cassidy said. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her tilt her hip at them and flash them a very inappropriate smile considering she had a boyfriend, and I tried not to laugh.

“Ah, we’re meeting some friends, I’m afraid.”

“Later, maybe?” Beat smiled.

“They could come, too,” I burst out, staring at Dylan with open abandon; he was hot. I saw him give me a lazy smirk and I bit my lip.

“Maybe we will.” Mark smiled. “Bye, girls.” He nodded and walked past us.

Dylan made to follow him but grabbed my hand and pulled me towards him. “In case we don’t make it,” he said, his voice low, and kissed me nearly senseless – although that could have been the wine, too – tingles spreading through me. He released me, that smirk still on his delicious lips. I licked mine as I looked at him. “Happy birthday, Rory.” He winked then followed his brother.

“Oh. My. God!” We all looked at each other and burst into giggles as we hurried back home.

“Did you see them, though?” Cassidy breathed.

“That’s what real men look like, not this sorry excuse we have to see at school all day,” Rachel said.

“Even I’ll admit, those boys were gorgeous,” Beat tittered.

“Beatrice!” I laughed.

She shrugged. “I can admire them.”

“Are you going straight, girl?”

She shrugged again and pulled me up the front steps. I unlocked the door and we headed inside. The house was relatively dark, but I could see a lot more light coming from the park. I exchanged looks with the girls, who looked very pleased with themselves.

“What have you girls done?” I asked them, my voice awe-struck as I walked out the back door.

The grass that sat outside our back window was covered in people, tables, marquees, decorations, and lights. Blue and white fairy lights covered everything from the trail outside our door to the whole party. There was even a stage on which I saw Declan and the boys playing; Cole was no doubt there, but I didn’t let my gaze linger. I wouldn’t dwell on him and he wouldn’t worry me for the night. It must have taken an army to set it up in the time we’d been gone.

I walked through the path of twinkling fairy lights, followed by my three very proud friends. I arrived on the grass to a cheer.

“Ladies and gentleman!” Declan called over the band’s music. “The birthday girl has arrived. Give her your best, but don’t crowd her all at once, people, she’ll be here all night!” He laughed then he went back to singing their song.

People started greeting me; my parents, a lot of the neighbours – which was only fair with the party in the communal park – my aunts and uncles and cousins, friends from school, and, of course, the three people who had planned this whole thing.

Dad shoved a drink into my hands and I spent about twenty minutes saying hi to people, getting drawn into conversations here and there. Once the welcome crowd had thinned, I was free have a dance with the girls. Declan and his band played on through the night. There was a lot of drinking and dancing and eating blue junk food, just as Cassidy promised.

“Matty!” I called as I saw him through the crowd. Yes, at this point, I was reasonably drunk and being around minors was probably not the best plan I’d ever had, but it was Matty!

“Hi, Aura!” He smiled happily. I picked him up and twirled him around, and he giggled.

“Aurora! There you are, dear,” Phyllis said as she glided effortlessly through the crowd. She hugged me close and looked warmly between Matt and me. She looked about as buzzed as I felt. She sighed happily. “Matt just loves you Aurora.” She beamed.

I laughed. “The feeling is mutual, Phyllis. Matty is the most constant non-family man in my life, and I love him to bits.” I leant down and kissed his cheek, causing a red flush to creep up his cheeks. “Oh, thank you, too for the bouquet, it’s gorgeous, and delicious.”

Phyllis smiled. “You’re most welcome, dear. I had another present in mind. Cole told me I mustn’t, but I did anyway. You’ll find it on the table over with the others.”

I hugged her warmly and kissed her cheek. “Thank you. You’re a remarkable woman, and those boys are so lucky to have you,” I whispered.

She coughed and laughed as she pulled away. “You do know how to flatter an old woman,” she said. “Come on, Matt, we shouldn’t keep Aura too long.”

“That’s okay.” I smiled. “Matt and I can have a dance.”

Phyllis grinned and left us. I danced with Matt for a while, until Ben claimed him, saying the chocolate fountain was finally a go – apparently, it had been clogged but was now gushing freely. I turned, momentarily disoriented and looking for the bar.

“Rory!” Beat called and I turned. She held out a drink to me, gripping her own tightly. Even in my daze, I could tell something was up.

“Everything okay?”

Beat couldn’t seem to decide if she wanted to nod or shake her head. “No,” she said finally.

“What’s up?”

“Oh, it doesn’t matter now,” she said, taking a big sip of her beer.

“It does, tell me.”

“Rory, it’s your party.”

“So? That mean I’m off best friend duty?”

She rolled her eyes at me. “Becca?” she said and I nodded. “It’s a no-go.”

“Ever?”

“Ever.”

“Ah, Beat, that sucks, I’m sorry. What happened?”

She shrugged. “I kissed her and she… Well, I guess everything she told me was a lie.”

“Oh, honey, I’m sorry.” Then I had an idea. “Will you be my date to the formal?” I asked.

“What?” She looked up.

“My date. We can go together. Show…certain people that we don’t need them to have a good time if we have each other.”

Beat smiled. “I’d love that.”

“Me too.”

We moved in for a hug and ended up accidentally kissing each other on the lips. We broke away, laughing.

“Hi,” a voice interrupted us.

I looked up and found Dylan and Mark smiling down at us.

“Hi.” Beat smiled in a very un-Beat like manner.

“I’m wondering if I should feel threatened?” Dylan asked, laughter in his eyes.

“Threatened by what?” I asked, stupidly.

“Well, first by the young man who held your attention, and now by Beat?” He didn’t take his eyes off me and I felt my stomach go all warm.

I sighed dramatically. “Matt is too young for me, alas, despite my ardour for him. And, Beat and I are just friends.”

Thankfully, Dylan laughed at my terrible joke. From the corner of my eye, I saw Mark take a step towards Beat and wondered how she was going to shut him down.

“Care to dance?” Dylan asked me, his blue eyes blazing by the light of the fairy lights.

I nodded. “Sure.”

“Beat?” Mark asked.

“Why not.”

I could think of a few reasons, but I didn’t voice them aloud. I’d seen the way Mark was looking at Beat, and the drunk in me wanted to see when he made a move on her and she shut him down.

We danced to the band for a while, Dylan holding me close. I refused to look at the stage, knowing I’d find Cole even if I wasn’t looking for him.

“The band is good, where did you find them?”

“Me? No. This was all Cass, Rach, and Beat. They're guys from our school. The leader singer’s Cass’ boyfriend.”

“And, what about you?” he asked.

“Me?”

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

“I’d like to think if I did, I wouldn’t be letting strangers kiss me on the street,” I replied.

“Fair call,” he answered, his gaze on the stage behind me for a moment. “What about strangers kissing you at your birthday party?”

“What about it?” I countered.

“How do you feel about that?”

I felt myself smile. “Well, now that entirely depends-”

I didn’t get to tell him what it entirely depended on because he kissed me anyway. Like before, it felt great and I probably could have kissed him for hours. This guy, though, he didn’t have the key to the butterfly cage. I realised I was fairly drunk by this point and I was at a party with my family, so I pulled away from him slowly.

I opened my mouth to say something, but my brain was cut off when I saw Beat’s face plastered to Mark’s behind Dylan. I sniggered and Dylan turned to see what was so funny. He obviously didn’t get it as he turned back to me, a quizzical look on his face.

I tried unsuccessfully to hide my smile. “Sorry, nothing against your brother. He’s just not her type…usually…” I finished, wondering if Beat was more bi than lesbian?

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Don’t get me wrong, you guys are hot. Beat, just… She’s into girls. Well, I thought she was?” I said and Dylan understood.

“Right… I guess we all do stupid things when we’re drunk.” A thought seemed to hit him. “So, the two of you before…?”

“Oh, no!” I said, shaking my head. “I love Beat to death, but no, that was an accident.”

“So, not a regular thing.” He winked.

I rolled my eyes. “No, sorry to disappoint.”

He shrugged. “Just means I don’t have to share.”

He leant in a kissed me again and I let myself enjoy it, knowing it was unlikely to happen after that night.

I extricated myself from Dylan a little while later and managed to pull Beat off Mark. We passed a very surprised Becca on our way to the bar, where we met Cassidy and Rachel. I was surprised the two of them seemed so sober.

“What on earth were you doing girl?” I asked Beat as we smiled to the barman.

She smiled. “I don’t know. I just felt rotten after the whole Becca thing so, when Mark kissed me, I was like, why not!”

Cassidy shrugged. “So what, I’m straight, but I’ve kissed girls when I’m drunk. It’s no different.”

I conceded her point and took my drink, it was some delicious blue concoction that tasted like Jelly Belly beans.

“Having a good night, hun?” Cassidy asked.

I nodded as I swallowed. “It’s great.”

We stood and looked out over the party for a while. It looked like most of the adults had gone by now, leaving just my friends from school, a few cousins, and our last-minute invitees.

“So, what do you think about Dylan?” I asked.

“No.”

“What?” I looked at Cassidy.

“No. Don’t go there. He’s interested in one thing. He won’t force it, but he’ll take it if he thinks you're offering,” she said seriously.

“What? How do you know?”

“I know guys like him. Hell, I’m the female equivalent of guys like him.”

“Not since Declan,” I sung.

She smiled. “No, not since Declan.”

“So, he’s not good? Another no good guy?” I huffed and motioned for another drink.

Cassidy seemed to weigh her words carefully. “Let me put it this way, Cole is a better man than Dylan will ever be.”

I looked at her, shocked. “I never thought you’d have anything nice to say about him.”

She looked at me squarely. “Neither did I, Rory. And it by no means makes him a good person. Honestly, he’s the only one standing in his own way. If he ever wants to pull his finger out and realise he’s actually a decent guy and you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him, then I’ll consider him a step closer to being worthy of you. Until then, he’s stupider than even I expected.”

She hugged me fiercely, and then turned on her heel, saying she had to check on something. I shared a look with Beat and Rachel, but both shrugged. We didn’t dwell on it; instead, we went back to the party. Dylan, Mark and their friends were gone so we stuck together. It was getting close to one in the morning and it didn’t look much like people were ready to leave, but the band had had it.

I hopped up from where I sat and ran over to Declan, waiting for the current song to finish. I motioned him towards me and he knelt down.

“Why don’t you guys stop? We’ll put my mp3 player on or something.” I smiled. “Relax and have some fun.”

Declan nodded. “Yeah, all right. Thanks, Rory.”

“Great, I’ll go grab it.”

“We’ll do one more song while you’re gone.”

I nodded and rushed off to my room. On my way back, I noticed Ben and Matt were playing Halo in the living room. I smiled and headed back out.

They finished the next song and Declan plugged my mp3 player into the speakers.

When they’d put their instruments away, I hugged him.

“Thanks heaps guys, you were amazing,” I said, smiling to them all… Except Cole.

Declan laughed. “It’s no bother at all. It was good practice for next week.”

I smiled. “I’m sure it was. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you to grab a drink and something to eat?”

“No, you don’t! Thanks.”

Declan, Chris and Patrick wandered off, talking. Cole and I stood awkwardly, not looking at each other. I felt a mad urge to giggle, but I expected that had more to do with the delicious blue drinks I’d been consuming than anything humorous.

“So…” I said finally. “You guys are pretty good.”

“Thanks,” he said. “Um, listen, happy birthday.” He nodded at me, a strained smile on his face.

“Thanks. Although, technically, it’s not my birthday anymore.”

“Ah, no it’s not.” He fished something out of his pocket. “So, if I gave this to you now, it wouldn’t be considered a birthday present?”

I smiled as I took the gift. “No, I don’t suppose it would. Do you want me to open it now?”

He shook his head. He looked pained. “No, no. It’s nothing special. I got it for you a while ago. Seemed silly to keep it, after everything.”

“Oh, okay. Sure.” I smiled, not knowing what else to do. I stepped forward, hugged him awkwardly, and kissed his cheek. I felt him tense and moved away quickly. “Uh, help yourself to whatever you want.”

“I’m not sure you’re serving what I want,” he said with a slight smirk.

“Well, stay, hang out, and have fun,” I replied, not quite sure what he was referring to.

“Sure, Hannibal.” He nodded.

But, I don’t think he stayed. I got swept up in talking with the girls and Declan, dancing, and laughing at stupid stories. By the time everyone had gone home for the night, I realised I hadn’t seen Cole since I’d spoken to him.

Cassidy, Rachel and Beat dragged me up the stairs to my room at God knew what hour and we all collapsed onto the pile of mattresses we’d spread all over the floor for this express purpose and fell asleep.

 

¢

 

The next morning, my hang over was palpable. I wondered how sensible it was to wake up to your first full day of adulthood with screaming proof you weren’t ready for it.

“Ugh.” I rolled over and found myself face to face with Beat. The memory of the night before hit me and I smiled, looking forward to seeing her face when she remembered.

Then, I remembered other things about the night before and panicked about all the things still set up. I rushed to the window, but there was nothing there. I checked the time and saw it was almost three in the afternoon. I stretched, feeling stiff, and realised I was still dressed from the night before. I pulled on a jumper and headed downstairs, leaving the girls to sleep.

“Good morning!” Mum said, mock-quietly. “You girls got in late.”

“Does it count as getting in when we were only outside?” I asked, rubbing my head.

She smiled. “You had a good time, then?”

“I did. It was great.”

“I’m pleased.”

“Where is everything, though?”

“Oh, that? Cass had a team of people to pull it down as soon as the party was over. Presents are on the dining table. They took everything else with them.”

I poked my head through the arch and saw the stack of presents on the table. I suddenly itched with the need to find Cole’s present. It had been small and wrapped in…blue paper with silver filigree stuff on it. I hunted through the piles and finally found it.

With the girls in my room and Mum in the kitchen, I didn’t really have a lot of privacy. I tucked the gift into my jumper’s large front pocket and headed outside. But, I found Dad and Ben talking to Phyllis and Matt.

“Great party last night, dear.” Phyllis smiled.

“Thanks, I had a wonderful time.”

I hurried off before they could say anymore. There weren’t many people out, despite the warmish weather, but I made a beeline for the big willow, just wanting a bit of privacy. I ducked under the branches and sat against the trunk, the memories of this place bittersweet.

I took the gift out of my pocket and held it gingerly, not sure if I wanted to open it or not. It wasn’t very big, but it had a bit of weight to it. I pulled off the wrapping paper carefully. I told myself it was to preserve the paper, but really, I just wasn’t sure if I wanted to see what was inside.

Finally, I got the paper off and found a box inside. Cursing the rush of nerves that coursed through me, I slid out whatever was inside it.

It looked like two photo frames, facing each other, then I realised they had hinges on one side. I opened them and the butterfly cage was opened again.

The frame itself looked expensive, like one of those Vera Wang ones you buy people for their wedding. Each side was silver with hearts etched into it.

In one frame, there was a picture of me, Ben, Matty and Cole in the park, hugging. I remembered that day; Ben, Matt, and I had been playing soccer and Cole had joined us for a moment before declaring himself terrible and tackling us all to the floor. Phyllis had come out to ask if we wanted a drink and taken a picture of us with her phone. In the hearts around the frame, Ben’s and Matt’s names were engraved. That alone was enough to cause a lump to form in my throat and my heart to skip a beat.

But, in the other frame was the picture of us dancing at Phyllis’ party, the one from the paper. I looked at it more closely; no it wasn’t the same as the one from the paper, and it was slightly different. My breathed hitched as I looked at it. Like the one in the paper, Cole and I were looking into each other’s eyes like some poster for this summer’s romantic comedy. Unlike the one from the paper, my face was not the one more obviously showing the affection between us. This picture showed more of his face and the look I saw on it made my eyes burn with tears. I don’t know how I missed it that night, but, if I’d seen it, I might have been less surprised when he said he loved me.

The real kicker? On this frame, our names were etched in the hearts.

The tears spilled over. I bundled myself into a ball and let myself cry.

How did Cole expect me to let him go after this? Sure, it wasn’t a diamond ring kind of announcement of affection – no one was ready for that! – but, I knew exactly what he had been trying to say with it. But, maybe he had really got it for me ages ago? Surely, though, he wouldn't have given it to me if it meant nothing? Maybe he didn’t want me to let him go? Maybe there was still a part of him that wanted me to fight for him?

I sighed. Why did I have to do all the fighting?

Because he doesn’t think he’s worth it, a voice told me. He doesn’t think he’s worth it, but a part of him still wants you to prove him wrong.

And, as egotistical as it was, I knew I was right. Well, a part of me reminded myself I hoped I was right. Same difference, right?

I took a deep breath and forced myself to stop crying, resolving myself to a most difficult plan of attack. I shoved the frame, box, and paper back into my jumper pocket.

“All right, then,” I said to myself, standing up and brushing dirt off my bottom and tears from my eyes – though the other way around might have been a more sensible idea. “Let’s prove him wrong.”

Cole was going to believe he was a good person if it was the last thing I did.