Nine

 

 

y phone was ringing and I groggily put an arm out to find it. But, it was ridiculously cold out of the blankets. I snuggled back into the person next to me.

Wait, what?

My eyes flew open and I regretted it instantly. The light in my eyes, as dim as it was, set a fierce headache pounding in the back of my head. I returned to the task at hand.

Person next to me.

Why were there green curtains?

Was I under a tree?

I blinked and realised I was leaning on someone’s chest. Someone’s very fine-suited chest. And, their head was on mine. I edged myself out gently and Cole shifted in his sleep.

My phone started ringing again and I saw Cole scrunch his face in his sleep. Damn, I wanted to kiss him again. I thought better of it – probably having terrible morning breath – and looked at my phone. Cassidy was calling and it was about ten in the morning.

“Hello?” I thought I said. I coughed and tried again. “Hello?”

“What the hell, Rory?” Cassidy yelled like a jackhammer in my brain. Although, at the pitch, I couldn’t tell if it was an angry jackhammer, a happy jackhammer or some other kind of jackhammer.

“Oh, no… Inside voice, Cass,” I whispered, partially not wanting to wake Cole, but also just not being able to deal with loud noises. “Hang on.” I gently extricated myself from Cole’s arms and pushed my way out of the branches, wincing at the cold. “Okay, back.”

Cassidy was laughing. “Hung over, by the sounds of it.”

I groaned. “What do you want so early in the morning, and why are you so…chipper?”

“I was reading the paper this morning-”

“What? Since when do you read the paper?”

“I look at the pictures,” she huffed; that made more sense. Then her tone got even more chipper. “And guess whose photo I saw in the society pages today?”

“I don’t know. Some famous guy you love?” I sighed.

“More liked some famous guy you love,” she said in a singsong voice.

“What? I’m going to need you to be less cryptic, Cass,” I sighed, and then yelped as I felt Cole slide the blanket around us, encircling me in his arms, and kiss my neck.

“Oh my God, he’s there now! You spent the night with him?” she squealed and I pulled the phone away from my ear.

“Good morning,” Cole said into my other ear, sending shivers all through me.

“Good morning,” I replied before putting the phone back to my ear. “Okay, tell me what you saw.”

“You and Cole making googly eyes at each other while dancing at Lady Avery Jones’ party! And, in a Trudy Jones gown no less!” The pitch of her voice was making me lose her again.

“Sorry, Cass. I’m confused. Try that again.”

She huffed. “I’m sending you the digital article.”

“Okay, whatever.”

“Call me when you’ve read it. I won’t wait by the phone.” Did she wink? Why did it sound like she winked? Can you even tell if someone winks on the phone?

“Okay, Cass. Will do.” I shut off the call and found a text from Dad.

Dad: Trust you’re safe, see you in the morning.

I sighed, not sure why it bugged me. Most parents would freak if their daughter didn’t come home. My parents? ‘Sure, whatever, see you when we see you.’ Hell, even Phyllis seemed to lose it when Cole wandered off.

Cole!

I turned around, still in his arms, and smiled at him.

“I never pegged Cassidy for a morning person,” he said, wryly.

I laughed. “Not usually, no.”

“I didn’t mean to keep you out all night.”

“I bet you say that to all the girls.”

He seemed at a loss as to what to say and I realised he probably didn’t say that to all the girls at all. He probably said the complete opposite to all the girls. I felt a funny feeling coiling in the pit of my stomach at the thought, but tried to push it away.

“Do you want to get some breakfast?” he asked.

I looked around, remembering again where we were and what time it was. My head throbbed and food sounded great.

I nodded slowly. “Sounds good. But, first I think I need to change, and probably brush my hair.”

He kissed me. “Sounds like a plan.”

“Where did you want to go?” I asked him, not wanting to emerge from the warmth of the blanket just yet.

“Shall I walk you back to your place?”

I gulped, not sure what Mum and Dad would think of that… But, then, they’d hardly expect that we got up to anything while we were out in the cold all night…would they? Surely not. I nodded. If they realised we’d been out in the cold all night…

“Missus Cottle does a great breakfast after Grandma’s been drinking,” he said as we started walking towards my house.

I laughed at the thought of it being a regular thing for Phyllis.

“All right then, sounds good,” I replied with a nod.

Once we got back to my house, I wasn’t quite sure how to say goodbye. I was saved from having to think about it too much when I heard the door open.

“There you are!” Dad laughed. “We wondered where you’d got to.”

“You didn’t really seem to mind at all.” I narrowed my gaze at him.

He shrugged, and I wondered what the hell kind of parents they were anyway. “We know you’re not an idiot. Besides, how far were you going to get from a party across the park?”

Mum appeared beside him. “Morning, Cole. Lovely to see you. Did you guys have a good night?”

“Stellar parenting, guys,” I mumbled.

Cole chuckled, kissed my cheek, and let me wriggle out from under the blanket. “I’ll see you soon?”

“Yeah, be over in a bit,” I said, giving his hand one last squeeze before trudging up the stairs.

“If you see Ben at your place, tell him to get his own breakfast!” Dad called to as I pushed inside.

“You don’t want to join us, then?” Cole asked.

Dad laughed. “We heard about the famous morning-after breakfast, but we’re good thanks.”

“Okay, see ya later, Max. Caitlin.”

“Bye, Cole,” they chorused and closed the door.

I stared at them, not quite believing they were as calm and collected as they appeared. I was waiting for the torrent to unleash now that Cole was gone.

“What a nice boy,” Mum said as she walked back into the kitchen.

“He seems a very decent sort of fellow,” Dad replied, following Mum.

“Are you shitting me right now?” I asked, following them.

“Aura, language!” Dad chastised over his coffee.

“But, seriously? You know the kind of guy he is right? He drinks, smokes, gets into fights, stays out all night. You remember that time Phyllis came looking for him?” I said, wondering why they were calmly just going about their business when I’d been out all night with a degenerate boy.

“Does he? He seems nice. Doesn’t he seem nice, Max?”

“He does, Cait, seems lovely.”

I groaned. “Come on guys, use some of that parental power I hear so much about.”

Mum rolled her eyes at me. “Aura, you’re almost eighteen, we trust you to make decent choices about boys. You won’t always make the right ones, but those mistakes will be up to you. We can’t tell you who you can and can’t date.”

“Yes, you can,” I spluttered. “I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what you’re supposed to do!”

“And, you want us to tell you that you can’t date Cole?” Dad asked slowly before turning to Mum. “I’m confused, hun.”

I groaned again. “No, I don’t… Just some caring would be nice.”

“Sweetie, we do care.” Dad smiled. “And, for all his faults, Cole seems like a decent guy at heart. Maybe he’s just had a run of bad luck? Going through a phase?”

“Your father went through a phase like that. Very rebellious.” Mum giggled as he pulled her onto his lap.

“Ew, guys, come on… Minor in the room,” I moaned.

“There’s nothing wrong with a bit of rebellion in your life, sweetie,” Mum said. “As long as it doesn’t interfere with your future.”

“Ah ha! And, if it does?”

“Are we talking about Cole still, because I feel like we’re talking about Cole still?” Dad asked.

“What if being with him compromises my future?”

Mum looked at me squarely. “If you love this boy and he loves you, then it won’t compromise your future, no matter what he’s been like in the past. Now, is this really about Cole, or is something else bugging you?”

I huffed, not quite sure. Maybe there was something else; I just didn’t know what it might be.

Then, I remembered what Cassidy had said when she’d called. “Have you guys got the paper?”

Dad nodded. “Why?”

“Have you got the social pages?”

“It’s not like you to be interested in the social pages, Aura,” Mum said coming closer while Dad flipped open the paper. “Oh my God, look at you!”

I sighed. There was a half-page spread dedicated to Phyllis’ party and there I was, a quarter of the spread at least, dancing with Cole. Cassidy’s comment that we were making googly eyes at each other was not far off. It had obviously been taken soon before we’d stopped dancing because he looked relaxed and confidant.

“My goodness, he looks very dapper doesn’t he? So classically attractive. You’re lucky I’m not half my age,” Mum giggled.

I glared at her then turned back to the page. In case no one knew who we were, our names were captioned under the photo with the tag ‘young love’.

“Well, isn’t that great.”

“What’s the matter?”

“Everyone at school is going to see this.”

“So?”

“So… Cole…” how could I explain it to my parents when I didn’t really understand it myself. It was just this feeling of understanding I had without being able to put it into words. “It’s just not good.”

“It’ll be fine. No one will care. Cassidy and her family are in the social pages all the time,” Dad said.

“Yes, a few of the other kids have featured in here once at least.” Mum nodded.

I supposed she was right. But, despite having been to many of Cassidy’s parties, none of those kids had been me. Nor, had they been what everyone considered the degenerate slacker at what was obviously one of the most interesting things to happen that weekend.

“I’m going to get changed,” I said.

“Do you want the page, Aura?” Dad held it out to me.

I hesitated, but took it. Of course I wanted it. It might not be my most favourite way of being in the paper for the first time, but it was good photo of us.

As I walked up the stairs, I read the few words:

Lady Avery Jones’ birthday party at her luxurious townhouse on Friday included a lavish guest list of close family and friends. Included among them were her grandsons, Cole and Matthew Fielding who, until recently, lived with their father. In this short time, the Fielding boys have taken to society life well.

Their father? I wondered what happened to him for them to move in with Phyllis. Was he her son? Or, had their mum been her daughter? Just more questions…

Before I got changed, I folded the paper so only the picture of me and Cole was showing, and stuck it on my pin board.

I pulled the dress off and hung it up. It could do with a dry clean but it wasn’t too dirty after I’d spent the night sleeping on the ground. I brushed my hair and cleaned my teeth before pulling on jeans and a comfortable top. I realised I’d left Cole’s coat at his house the night before. Which, really is where it belonged given it wasn’t actually mine.

I plodded down the stairs and shoved my feet into my boots then grabbed a coat off the rack. I checked I had my phone and keys, and stuck my head through the kitchen door.

“Right, I’m off. I’ll see you guys later.”

“Bye, hun!” Mum called.

“Got your keys and phone?”

“Yes, Dad.”

“Good. See you, sweetie.”

I headed off across the park and saw a familiar figure walking towards me, his collar up and puffing on a cigarette.

“Hi.” Cole smiled when we got closer.

“Good, you saw your coat.” I nodded to it.

He looked down as though he’d forgotten he was wearing it. “Yeah, I did, thanks. I was going to let you keep it, but-” He shut his mouth, a very uncharacteristic flush creeping up his face.

“But, what?” I asked.

“Nothing.” He laughed uneasily.

“No, you’re going to have to tell me now. What is it?”

He wouldn’t meet my eyes and I laughed.

“Okay, okay,” he relented, still not looking at me. “It smells like you now, so wearing it is…nice, okay?”

I looped my arm in his as I tried very hard not to laugh. “That’s very sweet.”

“Yeah, laugh it up, Hannibal.”

“What’s funny about the self-proclaimed degenerate wearing his own coat because it smells like his…?” I stopped, not knowing what to call myself. I wasn’t about to presume we were properly dating – one real date and a couple of holiday weeks of kissing didn’t really equate to boyfriend and girlfriend…did it?

He chuckled, unhooked his arm from mine and put it around me, but he didn’t answer my unasked question. It might have been because we were about to head up the stairs to his grandmother’s place, so it wasn’t really the best time to be discussing our relationship status.

He kissed my cheek as he took my coat from me and hung it up, and then led me into the informal dining room, or so I was going to stick to calling it. Ben and Matt were already there with plates piled high full of pancakes, eggs, hash browns, beans, bacon, toast, sausages, tomatoes…

“I didn’t think you liked cooked tomato?” I asked Ben as we sat down opposite them. Phyllis, it seemed, was still in bed. Personally, I didn’t blame her; the way my head was pounding, I wouldn’t have minded being in bed still either.

Ben shrugged. “If you eat it with stuff, it’s like tomato sauce, only hot and doesn’t make the food cold.”

I nodded. “Very wise, my sage.”

Matt snorted and, under normal circumstances, I knew Ben would have thrown a piece of toast at me, but he refrained in company. He made do with sticking his tongue out at me instead.

“Did you hear Fellaini went blond?” Matt asked, and then smiled at my grimace.

“I did not… That would look…uh, interesting.” I smiled in return.

We ate, trying not to get caught up in soccer talk – which seemed to dominate Matt and Ben’s conversations – so Cole didn’t get too lost. Phyllis emerged, looking impeccable and I found out that Trudy didn’t actually live with them, so she was at her house.

“Actually, Trudy is probably back at work already,” Phyllis said as she poured coffee. “That girl, I love her to death, but she works too hard. I suppose…” She looked at me and stopped, shifting her gaze to smile at Cole then Matt.

Cole shifted beside me and I saw he looked uncomfortable, but he smiled back at his grandmother.

Ben and Matt left to play video games, but Cole didn’t seem to want to get up yet. After the younger boys had left, he turned to Phyllis.

“Are they still lifting the car today?” he said almost as though he didn’t want me to hear, but didn’t want to ask me to leave either.

Phyllis looked to me before she replied. “They are.”

“Is that wise?”

She sighed. “I have spoken to them and they think it will be all right for now. They said to call if we needed anything and they’d send someone right back.”

Cole nodded, and then stood. “I guess that’s all we can ask for. I doubt we’re a priority.” I tried hard to ignore the bitterness in his tone.

Phyllis’s face softened. “You are my priority, Cole. Both of you. Always.”

Cole smiled almost sadly. “I know, Grandma. Thanks.”

He put an arm around her and kissed her cheek. I had no idea where to look so I sort of just let my gaze wander over the room, admiring the art on the wall, until I heard Cole clear his throat. He held his hand out so I hopped up.

“Thanks for breakfast Phyllis, and last night, I had a wonderful time.” I smiled.

She waved me to her and kissed my cheek. “You are most welcome, dear girl, any time. Perhaps you’d like to come to my next soiree?”

I shared a look with Cole before smiling at her. “Maybe. We’ll have to see.”

“Excellent. Now, run off you two, you don’t need to be spending all your Saturday with an old woman!”

Cole started to protest, a smile on his lips, but Phyllis mock-glared at him and we left. I followed Cole up to his room. As we passed Matt’s room, I could hear them playing some game; there was a lot of laughing and shooting noises.

Cole pulled me into his room and closed the door. I looked at him, but whatever I was about to say was forgotten when I saw the look on his face.

“What’s up?”

“Sorry about all that…” he said, looking away.

“About what? I mean, yes, that was a lot of food, even for me, but honestly, it was delicious.”

He grinned at me for a moment. “You and food. But, you’re not honestly curious about that conversation?”

I shrugged. Hell yes, I was curious, but I’d let him tell me in his own time. I didn’t know from experience, but I knew from others that past hurts and family issues weren’t something you pushed. I’d seen it enough with Beat and her family.

“If there’s anything to tell and you want to tell me someday, great. If not, that’s your business. Me being curious isn’t going to change that.”

He looked at me studiously, as though trying to decide what to tell and what not to.

“Suffice to say, our lives were nothing like this two years ago,” he said quickly, then pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and headed to the balcony.

I gave him a few moments, not wanting to intrude, and then casually followed him out. I was surprised when I saw the police car across the road again and suddenly wondered if that was the car they’d talked about earlier. I said nothing, just watched people scurry around below us.

“Is there a reason,” I started, not missing the way he tensed, “you decided on this side of the house, instead of the park side?” By the time I’d finished my question, though, he’d relaxed again.

He shook his head, taking one last long drag of his cigarette before putting it out.

“Nope, not really. I didn’t know what was across the park at the time, though.” He smiled mischievously and I laughed.

“Yes, because what’s across the park is so special,” I mocked.

He put his arms around me. “I don’t know, I think so.”

It was like Cole had some key to the butterfly cage inside me; he could just look at me and set them free. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart.

He leant forward and kissed me. It started softly at first, but heated up quickly. We stumbled backwards, still locked together, until we fell in a heap on his bed. There was a quick break for a breath, but then our hands were on each other, his lips at my neck. My breath was shallow and my heart raced even faster. I felt his hand trail up my leg. It was nice, but I didn’t trust what would happen if I didn’t stop it now.

“Cole…” I breathed.

As though I’d literally shocked him, he jerked away from me. “Sorry… Sorry…” He was breathing as hard as I was. He rolled over as sat on the edge of the bed with his back to me, his hands planted on either side of his legs. I saw him stretching his neck and almost laughed at how tense he was.

I rubbed his arm, bringing my hand to rest over his on the bed. “Cole, it’s fine. I just…” First, we hadn’t quite had the relationship status talk, now we were heading into a sex talk? I breathed out silently. How was I going to handle this? Laugh at myself? Make a joke to ease the tension? That usually worked… “I just didn’t trust myself if we kept that up…” I said slowly, waiting for his reaction.

He laughed shortly. “I get it, Hannibal. You don’t need to make excuses.”

“Hey, I’m not making excuses… Okay, actually I am… Look.” My deep breath this time was less silent and I sat up, putting my arm around him. “I can’t say I haven’t had…intimate moments…? with a guy before, I have. But, I’ve never gone all the way. I’m not saving myself for marriage or anything,” power to those people, but I just don’t think it’s for me, “but, I guess I thought I owed it to myself to make sure my first time was with someone really special…”

He seemed like he was going to stand up but, I held him tighter. He squeezed my hand and, when he spoke, he sounded sadder than I think I’ve ever heard anyone but Beat through all her…stuff. “I get it, Aura. It’s okay.”

“No, I don’t think you do-”

He stood up and walked towards the window. “No, I do. We have fun, but we’re not going anywhere long-term. How could someone like you want a future with a guy like me?”

I frowned, not quite sure where this was all coming from. I didn’t know a lot about boy emotions – I didn’t think brothers or dads really counted – but there seemed to be something big going on his life and I knew neither what to say nor what to do to help.

“Cole?” I said slowly.

He didn’t turn but he made a “mm?” noise.

“Cole, I… I’m not sure what’s going on, and you don’t have to tell me, but I seem to have found myself caring about you, a lot, and you’re becoming someone very special to me…” He hadn’t moved and I didn’t know if he was even listening anymore. “Cole?” I sighed, ready to give up, but finally he turned around.

He seemed to hesitate so I held my tongue, waiting to see what he was going to say. He shoved his hands in his jeans pockets, drawing my attention – I thought he looked good in dress pants…? damn! Hugh Jackman eat your heart out – and leant against the wall. “On our way over…”

I cocked my head in question. His face took on its more recognisable smirk and I began to wonder if it was a defence mechanism he’d picked up.

“On the way over, you almost called yourself my girlfriend.”

I shifted so I was sitting cross-legged and pushed my hair behind my ear so I didn’t have to look at him. “Oh… Ah, well… I don’t want to make assumptions.”

“You don’t want to make assumptions?” he teased.

I stared him down, sure we were at some tipping point. And, whichever way it tipped, I wanted to make sure it went the right way.

“No, I didn’t want to make assumptions. So, we’ve been hanging out, we kiss, we went on one real date – apparently – but I wasn’t sure if you’d consider that enough to say we were together. I’ve been on the other side of an assumption and it’s uncomfortable; I didn’t want to put you in that position.”

His smirk only grew and I couldn’t tell if he was legitimately teasing me, or if he didn’t think any of that constituted us as being together either. It didn’t help I was sure he’d been with other girls and I doubted he’d considered any of them his girlfriend.

“Do you consider yourself my girlfriend?”

I sighed inwardly, wondering why everything with him had to be this tug of war and convoluted discussions. Maybe he was descended from faeries? Maybe he just didn’t know how to have a serious conversation? I looked into my lap for a second then gave him a fierce look. He almost looked like he quailed for a moment, but I couldn’t have been sure I didn’t imagine it.

“Do you consider yourself my boyfriend?” I asked him. I expected more run around questions, evading the topic. Anything but the answer I received.

“I’d like to.” He rubbed his chin as though it was no big deal, but I was pretty sure I was rivalling Mum for her best jaw-on-floor record. He laughed. “If you’ll have me?”

It was an actual question, designed for me to reply ‘yes’ or ‘no’, not some roundabout phrase that only seemed like a question. I was still reeling from the directness of it, so I just nodded. I realised then how ridiculous I must have looked. I shut my mouth, blinked, and nodded more firmly.

“Yes, I’d like that.”

He crossed the distance between us quickly, pushing me back onto the bed. I giggled until he silenced me with kisses. There was something sweet about it, even when it heated up a touch. But, he was a perfect gentleman.