Chapter Twelve
Texas has a reputation as big as the state itself for being hot, but up in the armpit of the panhandle, we actually receive some decent snow in the winter months. The snow started falling that night as I left the Hern’s home, and the flurry didn’t stop as I drove toward the high school where I was meeting Dustin. The ice that was gathering quickly in the frigid temperatures made scaling the ladder a bit trickier than I would have liked, but the moment I was on the roof, I straightened myself out and closed my eyes to take everything in.
I loved the snow. I loved the chill in the air, and the bite of the breeze, but more than all of that I enjoyed standing out as the first of the flurries came falling. The world sounded muted as fluffy flakes fell and settled on the surface of everything. I couldn’t hear the traffic on the highway. I couldn’t hear insects or the hum of the school below me. The layer of frozen precipitation falling silenced the usual din of white noise that surrounded us, so much so that I could hear the flakes as they found their mark. The sound was quiet, barely a hiss really, but if you listened closely, it was there. I always listened.
I had my arms spread wide and my head back, bared to the sky when Dustin stepped out of the little shack and found me. He didn’t say a word in greeting, but then, he didn’t need to. I could always feel his eyes on me, taking everything in while he retreated into his own mind. Tonight, the hunger that burned through him coated my skin and pulled my head down until our eyes met across the space of the gym roof. The puffy white clouds of his breath reminded me just how cold the night was and, resigned to the moment being gone, I skipped toward him, flinging my arms around his neck in greeting as I pushed up on my toes.
“Hi,” I said, my lips curling into a grin. “I wasn’t sure you’d be here yet.”
Dustin’s arms folded around my waist and pulled me closer. He buried his warm face into my wind-chilled neck, his lips finding the skin there and warming my flesh. The moment contact was made I shivered, and though the reaction was nothing to do with the cold, he pulled me inside anyway, kicking the door closed behind him.
“Are you kidding? Mom was exhausted after being on her feet and went to bed early. I couldn’t wait to get out of there. Rett and Dad were watching the game in an exhilarating contest of who knows football best, and all I could think about was you. So I mentioned a girl and going out, because it’s okay to have a piece on the side as long as I’m discreet, and slipped away unnoticed. I was worried the snow would slow you down, though. Did you have any trouble?”
“Nope. I love the snow, and I have chains in my trunk, just in case.” I nodded and tipped my head to the side again in an invitation for him to continue the exploration with his lips.
“Always so prepared,” he teased, pulling my bag from my shoulder and peeling my coat away from my body. Warmth permeated the little shack. The space heater had been doing its job a little too well. As long as the power stayed on, I figured we’d be good for the night. If not, I was certain that we’d find our own way of warming up, even if that did break our self-imposed rules.
“Someone has to be,” I mumbled playfully, my brain forcefully taking me back to the previous night before I could stop myself. Thankfully, the depth of loathing went unnoticed.
Dustin stepped back from me, a look of mock hurt tainting his features. “You think I’m not prepared?”
“I was actually referring to my one surviving parent.” I laughed playfully, reaching out and pinching his pouting bottom lip. “But I do question your preparedness. You know, being a jock and all.”
Stepping to the side, Dustin waved his arm at the room where the bed that was visible, a satisfied smile worn on his face as he studied me. On the surface, there were sleeping bags, comforters, and blankets. Piles of pillows and other signs of comfort were dotted around the mattress, including a backpack full of food beside the foot of the bed.
“I’m very impressed,” I admitted with a genuine smile.
“You haven’t seen the best part yet.” Dustin winked and grabbed my hand, pulling me into the tiny room that held our supplies and the very inviting bed. With pride, he pointed to the small counter holding the radio, and I couldn’t help but laugh in utter contentment.
“You really thought of everything, didn’t you?” I said, leaning past him and running my fingers over the batteries that would operate the radio if the power went out. Beside them were lanterns and flashlights. “And you called me prepared.”
Dustin ran his fingers down my cheek, his hand brushing over the tender flesh just under my ear, before sweeping my cold, damp hair over my shoulder. His thumb trailed the line of my hair as he stared at me, his body pressing against mine and spreading warmth through my blood. He didn’t say anything for a long time, just stood there, his breath making individual strands of my hair move. Dustin knew how much he affected me; there was no way he couldn’t. My breath hitched, my heartbeat picked up, my pulse pounded against the heel of his hand where it rested on my neck, and I was trembling. Want, need, and love sang their way through my veins and reflected in my eyes when they met his.
“I will always look after you, Miki,” he whispered a little too seriously, the sound barely audible as though it would break the moment between us. The words by themselves were something he said often, but the way he said them that night… there was so much more intoned. The sentence was an edict, a proclamation, and a covenant. They were words tangled with love, honor, and honesty. I don’t think either of us was ready to say love aloud just yet. People threw the sentiment around so much at school, but for us, love wasn’t just a word. Love was our constant companionship, an undercurrent that passed between us when our eyes met, a tingle as our skin touched, and a random thought or action that we did without thinking. We just hadn’t said confessed it out loud yet. We didn’t need to. We felt our love.
Leaning my temple against his cheek, I let the moment surround me. When it was just the two of us, there were mere seconds where my emotions got so out of control, I wanted to cry. I never did. I ended up laughing the strange emotion off with a nervous guffaw, but those brief instances were so profound and intense, I could name every last one of them. This moment between us tonight would be one, and I would keep the moment close to my heart. My sense of love overwhelmed me, and I allowed it to for another second before I blinked the unnerving feeling away and turned my head in search of his lips.
Dustin obliged more than willingly, his eagerness burning through our connection. As always, heat flooded my body as the world around us melted away until just the two of us existed. Our bodies pressed closer together, hands pulling at one another’s clothing in an urgent need to be skin to skin. I was only ever content when I lost the feeling of where I ended, and he began.
Clothes were shed without any real thought, the synchronicity of our movements a well-rehearsed play. The urgency was impossible to deny, and before either of us could think about who went where, I was against a wall, and Dustin was pushing into me with a needy brutality that stole my breath. With one arm folded around his shoulders, I clawed at the wall behind me for balance, but there was nothing there. Not that those things hindered us. The push and pull of our urgent lovemaking was frenetic, turning the air in the shack even more oppressive, but I didn’t want to breathe if it meant ending what was happening. Love and passion drowned us as we lost ourselves in the physicality of our love, and need drove us together with as much force as two planets colliding. When the white lights of my release invaded everything in my line of sight, I ceased to exist. There was only Dustin. He was the only thing that mattered now, and he was the only thing I could see, feel, and taste as I came undone. At that moment, I knew my world would always be right as long as Dustin Hill was with me.
I felt lost the moment our lovemaking finished but snorted in humor as Dustin stumbled back and collapsed on the bed with me still in his arms. Grappling at blankets and sleeping bags, he flung them over us, his hands making quick work of what needed to be done before pulling me against him and sinking into the den he’d made.
Hours must have passed before either of us began to think coherently. I’d been content to lay in his arms and watch the night pass through the tiny slither of the window visible above the air conditioning unit. I was so close to him, and as we murmured the odd word to one another with our fingers intertwined, the world settled into the usual sense of right. We laughed together and playfully chatted amongst ourselves with nothing calling our attention away from the here and now. It must have been two in the morning when he finally sat up and tapped my nose before reaching into his bag and producing food, sodas, and a folded piece of paper, which he held out to me.
“What’s this?” I asked as he pushed the single sheet into my hands with a small smile dancing over the crease of his lips. I glanced back down and ran my index finger along one of the folds before I looked up at him again.
Dustin was in the process of opening a bag of chips, but his eyes were intently on me, a small crooked smile playing openly on only one side of his mouth. He ate a chip, making slow work of the chewing before he finally responded.
“Open it and find out.”
Rolling my eyes, I did as he suggested, slipped my finger between the fold of the paper and peeled it back until I was faced with the maroon and white of the Texas A&M stationary. I let my eyes scan the sheet twice before the meaning sunk in. I was holding an acceptance letter addressed to him. Dustin had not only been accepted into the college of his choice, but they were courting him in the most complimentary of ways.
They wanted him.
I laughed once and slapped my palm over my mouth, my torso twisting until I was facing him. My hand dropped and reached for his before I pulled them into my lap, our fingers intertwining as we grinned at one another.
“I knew it. I told you that you’d get in.” My free hand waved the paper at him. “They’re offering you a full ride, D.”
Dustin’s face lit up. Happiness emanated from him as he slid the bag of chips to the floor and sat up with me, our joined hands moving to his mouth so he could brush his lips against my knuckles. He swallowed almost compulsively as he tried to get his own emotions under control, his hand twisting against mine as he moved them palm to palm. I wasn’t quite as restrained as he was, however. Tears of happiness streamed over my cheeks, cooling quickly on my bare chest. Not that I cared. I was warm all over with happiness and adulation. I knew what Dustin’s dream for himself was. I’d known how much he’d wanted this college and this future, and I couldn’t have been more proud of him for achieving that all by himself.
“Are you crying, baby?” he asked. His tone was teasing, but the undercurrent of concern was there, also.
“Happy tears, asshole.” I dropped the letter and pushed to my knees to kiss him again. “I am so fucking proud of you. I know how much you wanted this.”
“I did, and the best part is it’s only six hours away,” he whispered, shuffling closer to me. “I can be here when you need me to be.”
“Dustin—”
“If you’re gonna say what I think you are… don’t.”
“I wasn’t going to say anything, really.” I laughed, brushing my palm along his jaw. “Just that I have a car, too.”
The relief on his face answered any question I’d had about where our future was headed. If he thought I could ever give him up now, he was ridiculous. He would have to be the one to end our relationship, and even then I wasn’t sure I would be dignified enough to give it up that easily. What we had was something anyone would fight for.
“I have a load of shit to go through before it’s official, but they’ve told Coach in no uncertain terms that the moment they know, I will, too.”
“I have no doubt that they know how lucky they are to have you,” I whispered, and I meant it.
Dustin’s smile of response made me glow inside, but that wasn’t why I’d said what I had. I knew how blessed I was to have him in my life, and there was no doubt in my mind that anyone who met him would feel the same way.
The silence between us was light as we just watched one another. I could see a thousand emotions pass over his eyes as he studied me, and I knew he was looking for some kind of doubt or sadness his news had delivered, but there was none. I’d been nine years old when I’d figured out that I wanted out of this town, and I’d been working toward that goal every single day since. Dustin had given me happiness in a place I wasn’t sure would ever hold any for me, but not even our relationship would derail me from my escape plan, so I wouldn’t deny him his because I had to wait another year to follow his lead.
“You’re the only reason I would have to stay here,” he finally said.
“I would never ask that of you,” I responded with sudden fervor. “You and me. We’re not meant for this place, Dustin. We’re stuck here for now, but the moment you get that confirmation, I will push you toward your goal with all the strength I possess, and you’d better believe I will follow you the moment I’m able.”
“I…” Darkness fell fast around us as the town’s power died, cutting Dustin off in whatever he was about to say. Instead, he rocked forward and released his hold on me, my hand dropping to my lap as he moved away.
I heard the chord of the heater being pulled from the wall before hitting the ground, and I agreed with his mental assessment. There was no telling how long the power would be out, and the last thing we needed was to fall asleep and have the power come back only to set fire to the place and trap us inside. Finding my hand on my lap, he squeezed it in reassurance before getting off the bed completely. We’d both known the loss of power was a possibility. The school’s electricity wasn’t the greatest to begin with, often switching to the backup generator during thunderstorms. Tonight, however, there was no backup generator. We were on Thanksgiving break.
Light cut through the darkness as the flashlight was switched on, the beam picking up every dust mote in the small shack as Dustin searched for the battery-operated lanterns he’d brought with him. With our one heat source gone, the cool air started to penetrate the space and had me pulling a blanket around my shoulders to keep the heat in. When the warm glow of the lantern took over, I relaxed a little more and grinned up at Dustin who carried it to the tiny table beside the bed.
“Well, this has turned into quite the adventure,” he mused, grabbing one of the blankets and flinging it around his shoulders as he shivered. I gave a quiet laugh that ended with a contented sigh. I couldn’t imagine anyone else I wanted to have this adventure with.
We stayed wrapped in blankets for a little while before we got dressed. The air was just too cold to sit around with no clothes on now, and we still had to get through the night. When Dustin dropped to the bed and pulled on his socks, I went a step further and bundled up in my heavy jacket and boots before heading to the door.
“Where are you going?” Dustin asked as I looked over my shoulder to grin at him.
“I’m going to listen to the snow falling.”
“Listen?”
Nodding, I pulled the door out of my way and stepped into almost a half foot of snow that coated the roof of the gym. If the world had been muted when I’d arrived, it was now insulated and muffled. There was nothing to be heard aside from my footsteps and the almost silent hissing of the falling flakes as they landed. I could only see the flurry of white passing by at the end of my nose. We hadn’t been the only ones to lose power. The whole town was now shrouded in darkness.
Dustin followed me out a short while later, his footsteps barely interrupting the peace that blanketed the roof and the town around us. Stepping in behind me, he tightly wrapped his arms around my waist, and his chin rested on my shoulder as he stared into the blackness that had consumed the school’s compact stadium.
“Can you hear it?” I whispered, leaning against him as I fell back into silence.
He didn’t answer right away. He just took in deep breaths and released them as he listened for the snow. His arms tightened again, and my eyes slid closed as I gave myself over to my senses.
“I can,” he finally admitted. “I’ve never noticed it before.”
I smiled into the darkness and left my eyes closed. I was feeling everything, the cold settling around my nose and eyebrows, my dried lips aching, the snow landing in my hair and every inch of my body that Dustin was touching now aflame with our combined heat. I couldn’t imagine getting bored of that feeling. He sent fire through my veins and warmed my heart. He also made me feel safe and happy—two things I’d never had together before.
Hard to believe we’d only known one another for three months. There were days that I tried to remember my life before him, but that was like a black hole. The highlight reel included the Hern family—my family. Dustin had changed my whole world, and though there was a fair amount of drama involved in our being together, I couldn’t imagine a day without him now. That realization made me happy and terrified me all at the same time. I’d put all of my faith in our relationship, and without much effort on his part, he now had my heart and soul in his possession. If for some reason, we didn’t work out, I would be left with nothing at all. I would be left a broken and vacant shell of a person long before my life had ever really started, and I wasn’t sure I could survive that loss. People often attributed me with strength, but I think that was largely misplaced. I put up a good front, but under all the armor I shrouded myself in, I was weak, helpless, and scared.
I was too deeply in love with him to look back now, though. Not that running away from this was even a consideration anymore. I would gladly take what I was given, and I would make every moment I had with Dustin count. Every last moment with him would be cherished as though it was our last.
“You okay?” Dustin asked, obviously sensing the shift in my mood.
“I am,” I murmured, turning my head to grin at him. Lifting his chin, he stole a kiss, his greediness evident as his hand slipped under the many layers of clothes I was wearing. He brushed his fingertips over my stomach as the kiss deepened, and I allowed myself to let the somber thoughts go. Now was the time to live, and the eagerness of his kiss told me that we would be experimenting with our own brand of heating sooner rather than later.