I woke up the next morning feeling warm, sore, and oddly content. There was an arm under my head, a hand on my boob and some very hairy legs that were tangled ungainly with mine.

Dustin hadn’t left during the night.

Peeling one eye open, I glanced over to the side of the bed he was occupying and grinned openly. Still asleep, Dustin looked more peaceful than I’d seen him in the week that I’d known him. His long, dark lashes brushed against his cheeks. His broad jaw was covered with an even thicker layer of rough stubble than the night before, and his swollen lips were curved upward at the corners like he was dreaming about something good. The peace lingering around his features was something I liked seeing, and I wanted to see him like that more often, while he was awake.

Slipping my hand from where it was trapped between our bodies, I moved cautiously, stretching my fingers with the need to touch his face to make sure he wasn’t just a glorious figment of my imagination.

“Are you staring at me?” he asked without warning, making me jump. With a slap against his bared chest, I rolled completely so I was facing him, a small chirp falling from my lips at the ache between my legs that the movement had revealed.

“I’m sorry, does that freak you out?” I asked, feeling brave and kissing his chin.

After our night spent together, there was a comforting familiarity between us, and the intimacy felt right. We had talked after we’d had sex. We’d shared even more hours of conversation about our lives as we dozed in and out of sleep. I’d discovered more about him in those hours spent alone together. Dustin loved animals. He had three horses, a pot-bellied pig, and a goat. His older brother was his idol, and when Dustin was in trouble, he went to Rett rather than his dad. Rett was four years older than him and was the golden child before he lost his ranch and land in some stupid altercation. That was the second time he’d mentioned that without going into detail. The only person in the team Dustin considered a friend was Troy Clifton. The two of them had been friends as long as he could remember, and Troy was the only person he’d told about his dad’s threat, his mom’s cancer, and the mysterious girl he was seeing. Me.

Everything Dustin revealed only made me like him more. He wasn’t the person everyone seemed to think he was. He was sweet, adoring, funny, and smart. No one, not even his dad, knew that he had an academic scholarship in the works at his top three schools. If he decided not to pursue football, he still had a very stable leg to stand on, and a way out of Childress for good—something he seemed as excited about as I was.

“No,” he said, pushing my hair back over my shoulder. “It actually turns me on.”

I laughed quietly, and sighed in contentment as he pulled me closer to his warm body, ensuring there was no air between us. Burying his face in my neck, I took advantage of the situation and folded my arms around his broad shoulders happily, my cheek resting against the top of his head as I tried my hardest not to think about what inevitably had to happen next. I couldn’t give him up now, even though it was technically a moral stain on my otherwise clean record… along with some of those little white lies to keep me out of trouble.

“Stop it,” he whispered quietly against my neck, his silken lips brushing against my skin reverently, and the whiskers of his unshaven face rough in comparison. I liked the contrast of sensations and took a moment to respond.

“Stop what?”

“Thinking about it.”

“About what?” I asked dreamily, completely lost in the sensation of him.

“About what comes next and what happens now. Whatever it is you’re thinking, it’s pointless, Mik. I can’t stay away from you now, and you can’t ask me to. You know as well as I do it’s not worth even thinking about. I also know you’re worried about how this looks for you, but shouldn’t it only matter that you and I know the truth? The relationship out there isn’t real. You and I are the real deal. You can’t deny that after last night.”

“Well, I wasn‘t thinking that in depth,” I admitted, rubbing my cheek against his hair. “I was thinking more that we should probably at least consider what comes next.”

“Well, now you know how I feel.” He chuckled and grabbed my breast, squeezing the flesh teasingly before rolling on his back and glancing up to meet my eyes.

“And this means we have a relationship now?” I asked, my stomach flip-flopping happily. “And here I was hoping for some cheap sex.”

“Now you get a sense of humor about it all?” he asked, the words fading into a chuckle. “I would give you anything you wanted. Well, anything but freedom to date other people, anyway.”

“No one else knows I exist, Mr. Hypocrite.”

“Jesus, I know,” he whispered, every trace of humor falling away. “And believe me, I know how lucky I am to have finally seen you. If I didn’t have to follow my dad’s fucked up rules, I would be taking you to school on Monday so everyone could see just how lucky I am. Libby is nothing to me. She never was when I think about it. I was just a convenient accessory for her, and I let her get her own way because it was easier.”

“For sex?” I asked shyly, my thighs rubbing together of their own volition.

“Mediocre sex, but yes. I was a stupid teenage boy.”

“You still are.” I paused and waited for a beat before continuing. “Not stupid, but a teenager.”

I grinned so he’d know I was just messing with him.

“Just much smarter now.” He brushed some stray hair from my face with his index finger and smiled sadly.

“I don’t mind us being a secret,” I confessed with absolute honesty.

“I do.” He kissed my temple before extracting his arm from below me and rolling from the bed to a stand.

Once on his feet, Dustin strode into the bathroom, completely unabashed by his nakedness. It was only when the door closed behind him did I cover my eyes and let the giggle of sheer joy escape from me. My whole world had been turned upside down by one person, and I was sitting there like a giddy child allowing my imagination to go wild. I was also oddly unfazed by the fact that I’d lost my virginity on a whim to a guy who was—fake, but officially—dating another girl.

I understood I should have felt some semblance of remorse about that, but he was right about the extenuating circumstances. Both of them knew their dating was only to give Libby the boost she needed to win the title of homecoming queen, and whatever title the Winter Formal would give her. Dustin had informed me of the latter deal, not knowing that I’d overheard the agreement for myself at the game. Dating him was still wrong, but his sentence with Libby was only a couple of months at best. If she was vapid enough to get her titles through a lie and blackmail, then who was I to punish Dustin for that? He hadn’t made that decision, nor had he agreed to date her outside of blackmail and collusion. It wasn’t as though I wanted the attention that constantly surrounded him. I wanted to keep my anonymity, and I was going to be forced into another year at Childress High once he’d escaped to college. Maybe our agreement would work out better for the two of us this way – a clandestine love affair—the thing of great romance novels.

“You’re doing that thinking thing again,” Dustin accused as he leaned against the frame of the door that led to the bathroom, a towel now hanging low on his hips. I blinked up out of my own thoughts, not even realizing he’d opened the door again.

“They’re all good thoughts, believe me.” I smiled, a gesture that was returned with just as much enthusiasm. When his smile reached his eyes, I basked in the look and took pleasure in knowing I’d been the one to put it there. I don’t think I’d ever been so happy in my life.

“I’ll let it slide then.” He pointed with his thumb over his shoulder. “Can I use your shower?”

I nodded in agreement and watched as he pushed away from the frame and disappeared back into the bathroom. My cheeks were red, and my heart raced at the thought of him naked… in my shower. I rolled, burying my face in the pillow the moment he was out of sight, and I laughed at my own ridiculousness. This was actually my life. Dustin Hill was naked in my shower, and I was naked in my bed after we’d spent the night together. How the hell could so much change in twenty-four hours?

A hum of appreciation sounded from behind me as my legs scissored, and I stiffened, wondering just how long Dustin had been standing there watching me again.

“You could join me. You know, conserve water and shit,” he said in a deep baritone. Lifting my head, I glanced back at him once again standing in the doorframe and naked in all his glory—a state he seemed to be utterly comfortable in. “And I admit it, I’ve always been curious about shower sex.”

He wandered back into the bathroom, and I dropped my head back on the pillow the moment he was gone. This time I squealed into the thick fabric. One night. One night with this guy was all it took for me to see the world in a whole new set of colors. I felt braver, stronger, more passionate about every breath I took than I had before. Wrapping my courage around myself, I threw the comforter from my body, bounced out of the bed and sprinted toward the bathroom with a quiet peal of laughter.

Dustin left me with regret late in the afternoon. Neither of us seemed inclined to say goodbye. Whether we chose to acknowledge it or not, there had been a line in our relationship that had been crossed, and the previous state of shy boldness had given way to intimate familiarity. Sex hadn’t complicated whatever connection we had together. Intimacy had clarified the boundaries, and taken away the inhibitions that had kept me at a distance.

I couldn’t get enough of Dustin now. When we were within a foot of one another, we had this insatiable need to be touching. Whether that meant simply holding hands or our bodies pressed tightly together as we made out. The magnetism was now a permanent part of the air between us, something that had become abundantly clear in the few hours we’d had together that morning.

I hadn’t so much as thought about the other aspects of my life since I’d surrounded myself with him. Those aspects namely being my best friend, godmother, or the groceries I was supposed to have picked up the morning before. If I’d allowed myself think about my ignorance too much, I wouldn’t have been quite so surprised when Megan came crawling through my window just before five that afternoon.

It was a testament to how well she knew me that one look was all she needed to know something was going on. Standing with her hands on her hips and her purse hung diagonally over her body, she gave me the once over as I sat up and impaled my bottom lip with my teeth to stop the smile that had been plastered there all day.

“Okay, I expected to walk in and find you half-starved and emaciated, and here you are looking as ecstatic as you did when you discovered emancipation of a minor was a real thing. What the hell put the happy in you?”

I started laughing. The notion was silly, immature, and utterly childish, but I was so giddy it was hard to keep a straight face when the connotations were so crudely obvious to me. I felt like anything dark and moody had been taken from my life, leaving me only with light and happiness to hold close. I couldn’t stop the laughter even when I pulled my knees to my chest and rolled onto my side.

Megan’s laughter joined mine easily. Even as perplexed as she was by my behavior, she kicked off her shoes and dropped onto my bed, shaking her head in disbelief. I couldn’t believe I was so miserable on a daily basis that I warranted that kind of incredulousness. At least I hoped I wasn’t.

“Have you been overtaken by an alien? Pod people? Have you discovered pot?” she asked, gripping my arms as her laughter died and a grin took its place. “I’m your best friend, asshole. Spill the details.”

“You won’t believe me even if I tell you,” I choked out, slowly sobering. My smile was still firmly in place, but reality seemed to be licking at the sides of joy, grounding me just enough to meet her gaze.

“Of course I will. You’re my best friend. If I don’t, you can always convince me later. My curiosity is becoming painful here.” She slapped my arm playfully, her eyes widening in her way of persuasion.

Blowing all the air from my lungs, I tried to catch my breath and straighten my face. There was no way I could put this into words. I could barely admit what had happened in my own head. Megan was the only person in the world I wanted to even tell about what had happened the night before, and I was having a hard time finding the words to do that.

“Mikayla Elise Quinten,” she said in a perfect imitation of her mom. The smile ruined the effect, but the intention was enough to pull my attention back to her.

“I…” I put up my hand and asked for another minute as the words stuck in my throat.

“Goddammit, Miki. Give me a hint.”

“Boy.”

Megan’s eyes opened wide, her smile growing just enough to see that she was finding the path I was attempting to lead her down. “You met someone?”

“Yes,” I said, the words becoming more accessible, even as my finger moved to my mouth and I nibbled on my nails. “And you know him.”

“Girl, if you don’t start talking, I’m gonna wring you like a washcloth. Who is it?”

“Dustin Hill.”

The silence between us was absolute. With the last syllable of Dustin’s name leaving my lips, even her breathing stopped. Unable to read the blank mask of shock she was wearing, I tried to wait her out and show her the patience she hadn’t offered me, but after a full minute lapsed, I began to panic.

“You don’t believe me.” Not a question and I didn’t phrase it that way. In that long minute of silence, I’d managed to put myself in her shoes and actually thought the same thing. Dustin and me, we didn’t make sense. Disbelief was the only logical conclusion she could have.

“No. I mean… it’s not that I don’t… I mean.” She looked up, meeting my eyes and holding them for the longest time before a full-bodied laugh escaped. “You’re not fucking with me are you?”

I shook my head and gave a giddy chuckle.

“Start from the beginning and tell me everything.”

I told her as much as I could without giving away anything I knew Dustin wouldn’t want me to say out loud. He’d explained to me last night that only one person knew about his mom, and that was Troy, so I kept that and other personal things he’d told me to myself. Instead, explaining as best I could, that his dad was holding something over his head, but it wasn’t my story to tell what exactly that was.

Megan, always a great listener, said nothing until I was explaining my morning to her. Even then her interruptions were only to clarify little pieces of what I’d said. Apparently, I still had the ability to shock her, which was refreshing, considering how much I’d shocked myself. By the time I was finished, her eyes were the size of tractor wheels.

“You kept this to yourself this long?” she accused, pushing her bottom lip out in a pout. “Why would you do that?”

“Meg, come on. What was I supposed to say? I never dreamed something would come of my time with him. Up until last night, all we’d done was talked.”

“You mean Friday.”

“Yes, I suppose I do.” I grinned at her and shrugged my shoulders. “Am I being stupid?”

“Emphatically, no,” she said throwing her arms out in exclamation. “We’re talking about Dustin Hill, Mik.”

“You talk about him like he belongs in Hollywood.”

“Well, to be fair…”

“Meg.” Shaking my head, I grabbed her hands and squeezed. “Okay, you’re right, he has a look about him that everyone appreciates. And he’s the center of attention everywhere he goes because he’s a genius on the field, but none of that matters to me. In fact, if this were based on his popularity alone, I would never have paid attention to him. He’s so much more. He can talk about anything. He’s funny and kind and so smart. He likes the same kind of music I do, but more than any of that... he sees me, Meg. Really sees me, even when I’m doing my best to hide. It’s exciting and scary all at the same time.”

“About time someone saw how amazing you are,” she said, pulling me close and wrapping her arms around me with a squeeze. “I really love seeing you this happy and hopeful. Just… promise you’ll be careful. Libby has always been territorial about Dustin, and if she sets her sights on you, you’re fucked.”

“I don’t want anyone to know,” I said, leaning back and grinning at her, mentally swatting away the image of Libby that stampeded into my head. “Dustin is the town’s golden child. All eyes are always on him, and I don’t ever want that for myself. I really don’t mind our relationship being private. Secrecy benefits both of us.”

“Who else knows?”

“Troy Clifton.”

“That’s it?” she asked, eyebrows high.

I nodded.

“I don’t like that he wants to keep you a secret, Mik,” she said earnestly covering my hands with hers. “Hiding this under the pretense of being your decision feels like it’s for the wrong reasons. Like you’re making an excuse for him to do whatever he wants.”

“Megan. Come on. You of all people know me better than that. Can you see me out there in Libby’s shoes? Doing what she does every day? You know I would rather sit in the gym at lunch and do homework than mingle with people. Especially people like her. I’m okay with not revealing this relationship because I’m okay with not having attention drawn to me.”

“I do know that, but I also know how truly amazing you really are. I have my whole life. You know you’re always welcome to sit with Rob and me at lunch again. You can ease yourself into existing again.”

This time I gave her an incredulous look. We’d tried that once, and it didn’t end well. Rob was popular in his own right. He was a baseball player rather than a footballer, but everyone knew his name, too. The one day I’d sat with them everyone had done a double take. I’d ignored them at first, thinking they were talking about Rob and Megan, but when I’d heard two of the girls whispering to one another about who the new girl was, the novelty wore off, and I wanted to crawl back in my hole. Megan had tried to come with me, but I’d told her no. I loved her for caring, but I functioned just fine on my own, whereas I knew she wanted to be with Rob. I would never have forgiven myself if I’d taken that away from her.

“I’m happy where I am. Who says I’m alone, anyway?” I grinned conspiratorially.

“So that’s where he’s been all week.” She laughed and shook her head. “You’re not going to tell me where, either, are you?”

“Some secrets need to stay that way.”

“You have sex twice, and you turn into a fiend. Check you out.”

“It’s not like that,” I whispered, unable to keep the grin at bay. “You know what I mean.”

I’d almost forgotten that she and Rob had gotten themselves a hotel room and were planning their first time together on Saturday night. It was the reason I hadn’t called her when I’d been moping. I hadn’t wanted to take her away from something she’d been planning for a long time.

“Actually,” Megan said, dropping her forehead to my knee. “I don’t.”

“What?” My hands started running through her hair in an attempt to coax her back out. The gesture had become one of those intrinsic things both of us did when something went wrong. Head in lap was a signal; fingers in the long strands of hair were to ease the pain. “What happened?”

“We had a fight.”

“How bad?” I twisted her hair around my index finger.

“Pretty bad, but not break up bad. We were making out and we were heading in that direction, but I was really nervous. You know how I babble when I get that way. I guess I said the wrong thing and he got really upset with me. He wouldn’t even look at me, so I asked him to take me home, and he got madder.”

“You two spoken today?”

“Yeah, I apologized, then he apologized and promised to make it up to me.”

“How’s he gonna do that?”

Megan snorted and sat up. “He said next time he’d get a room at the Days Inn instead of the motel.”

“Oh, fancy.”

Laughing, Megan looked down at her hands nervously before glancing back up at me. The gesture was another one of those instances that I could read what she was asking without her having to say a word. She wanted to ask a personal question, but she didn’t want to overstep some invisible line between us. A line we both knew wasn’t really there. Not for us anyway.

“Just ask already.”

“Did it hurt?” she blurted, her eyes flickering to my door and back to me. She’d said it a little loud, but she wasn’t a guest I ever found the need to hide.

“A little, but not for long. The pain was sharp and immediate but kinda faded when the good, uh, stuff started. The second time, it wasn’t pain but an ache, and that was only there because I was still a little sore from the first time, I think. He was…” I smiled at nothing in particular. “He was great about it all, too, and...” I ended with a sigh.

Megan sighed dreamily and shook her head before her smile came back.

“I still can’t believe you lost your virginity to Dustin Hill.”

“Why not?” I asked petulantly.

Megan had barely started talking again when Dustin appeared suddenly at my window with his finger over his lips. I was wondering how long he’d been there, and feeling a little embarrassed about our current conversation I decided he was the one I needed to deny. Megan trusted me, and I intended on keeping it that way. Tapping her arm and finally getting her to break off, I nodded to the window and grinned when Dustin rolled his eyes at me.

“Holy shit,” Megan practically shouted the words, and my eyes shot to my door just waiting for the handle to be rattled or the demand to keep it down. The attempt never came.

“It’s Dustin, actually,” he said with that easy cockiness of his. “You’re Megan, right?”

“Uh huh.”

Amused, Dustin looked at me for permission to enter, and I nodded with encouragement. I welcomed his kiss of greeting once he was inside, nudging Megan as she squeaked her surprise. I think there was a part of her that still hadn’t quite believed what I’d told her.

Dustin sat on the bed behind me with no shame whatsoever, his arm wrapping around my waist as he watched every reaction Megan had with humor. He was enjoying making her squirm entirely too much. His eyes glinted with exaggerated humor, while I was prodding her leg with my toes to stop her from melting down completely. She had progressed to openly staring at him.

“I’m sorry,” she finally said, covering her face with her hands and rubbing a couple of times. “Just a bit of a shock considering the conversation you walked in on.”

“You mean about Miki losing her virginity to me? It’s okay,” he replied, throwing her a wink. “I was there.”

“Oh, this is just fantastic,” I groaned reprovingly. My shoulder bumped against Dustin playfully, even as my cheeks lit up like Vegas.

“What?” Dustin’s incredulousness was tainted with amusement.

“My best friend and…” I hesitated.

What was he to me? Labels didn’t matter all that much, but I was unsure of how to place him in my life as we stood right now.

“Boyfriend,” he said, filling in the gap as his hand slid up the back of my shirt in silent reassurance.

“… Boyfriend are talking about my sex life.”

“Your very new sex life.” Megan looked at us, completely unaware that Dustin was trying his very best to unhook my bra. She looked back at Dustin, her eyes narrowing. “You should know that Miki is like a sister to me, and I am very protective of her.”

“You gonna kick my ass if I hurt her?” he asked, his face encouraging. He approved of her sudden protective streak.

“I will slash your tires and put a snake in your bed. Kicking your ass is far too easy and doesn’t leave enough scars on your soul.”

Dustin laughed with genuine humor, his attempts at unhooking my bra now paused, as his palm lay flat on my spine, leaving a warm spot that felt divine against my cooled skin.

“I like you, Megan.”

Megan eyed him carefully and rolled her eyes in her normal dramatic way. “Fine. You’re off the hook for now, but the warning still stands. There is no expiration date, and you should know, I get my vindictive side from my mom, a woman who is possibly more protective of Miki than I am.”

“Noted.” He nodded at her in approval and pressed his temple against the side of my head reverently. I could feel his happiness as I leaned into him, and that was a more addictive drug than I could ever imagine. Looking back at Megan, I smiled, and she gave me a look only I could interpret. She approved of this—of him and me together. My happiness. She gave me a big smile and reached for her bag that she’d dumped by the bed and started digging inside.

“Good. Now who’s up for a scary movie?” she asked, pulling a DVD from her bag.