I cried as I drove home, glad that the lights in the main house were out when I finally arrived. That meant everyone was in bed, asleep as they should be. I made my way up to the apartment as quietly as I could and cried some more as I packed our things back into boxes and suitcases, grateful that Holly and I hadn’t completely unloaded all of our belongings. I cried even more when I realized how much of a fight Holly would put up and how hurt Jen and Megan would be. I thought about Katie and Emmett and their disappointment, and I thought about my own sadness and how much I was giving up. Then, eventually, when things were all ready for our departure, I cried myself to sleep.

My brain thought about whether things would have been easier if Garrett did still blame me and hate me for what happened to Dustin. Would this all have hurt less if he’d run me out of town in a seething, loathing glare of hatred? No. Not better, I realized. Just a different form of pain and torture than I was experiencing now. I’d never been good at goodbyes, but this was proving harder than most. I felt as though I was, once again, leaving my heart in Childress, while I ran away.

I finally drifted to sleep around four in the morning, which made the 7:00 a.m. alarm call all the more painful. It blasted out the too cheerful tune into the room with the already warm beams of sunlight washing over the foot of the bed, making the atmosphere seem happier than I was capable of feeling. It was only when I slammed on the snooze that I realized I wasn’t alone. I could hear both Jen and Megan talking quietly in the living room of the apartment, obviously waiting for me to wake up of my own volition. My alarm had been a dead giveaway, though, and before I could so much as release a pained breath of resolution, there was a knock on the bedroom door only seconds before Megan opened and peered around the door.

“You look like shit, honey,” she said gently. I blinked up at her, and she gave me a sad smile, one arm slipping through the door holding out a steaming mug of coffee. “Figured you’d need this.”

Sitting up, I rolled the comforter into my lap and patted the bed in front of me. Megan came in without hesitation and handed me the mug, followed by Jen who held two more mugs and an expression that made my heart ache.

“You’re leaving.” It wasn’t a question. Jen already knew what the boxes and suitcases meant. She just needed to start the conversation without making me cry. Unfortunately, that was going to be impossible.

“I have to,” was my response, one hand wrapped around the mug, while the other pushed my hair back from my face.

“Was he that pissed?” Megan asked, wide-eyed and worried.

“No.” I shook my head and swiped my hand in front of me, dismissing the notion. “We had a really good talk. He explained some things. I explained things, we cried.”

“So, who broke it off?”

I pursed my lips before rolling the bottom one between my teeth in consternation. “I couldn’t keep seeing him without at least explaining to Holly what was going on, and giving her the choice to stay away from the family she’s never known.”

“Does he know?” Jen asked.

“That Holly is his niece?” I asked, before shaking my head in response and cupping my mug with both hands again. “No. I wanted to talk to her first. He has a right to know, but she needs to know the truth, she needs time to process it all before we take any kind of step.”

“Then why leave?” Megan asked.

“Because one look at her, and Garrett will know. And honestly, I can’t share this town with Libby. She’s more of a bitch than she was in high school.”

“Yeah. What the hell happened there?”

I explained everything to the two of them, from the moment I’d arrived at the bar to the conversation at the cemetery. Both of them stayed wide-eyed as I spoke, asking some of the same questions that I myself had asked, and I gave them the answers, too.

By the end of my recollection, both women were crying along with me. They knew as well as I did that the only real option I had to get my head back on straight was to go back to Colorado and think things through. I couldn’t think with Libby hanging around, either. She would hunt me down for the sole purpose of torturing me, and one look at Holly and she would know she was Dustin’s. The first thing she would do would be to take out a full-page ad in the local newspaper letting everyone know Miki Quinten was back with Dustin’s daughter. She was that spiteful and cruel. She would stop at nothing to hurt me, and through me, my daughter.

“What now?” Megan asked, sliding her mug onto the nightstand and gripping my knee with both hands. “How can we help?”

I knew that the time to talk would be gone the moment Holly made her way over here from the main house, and I’d had something on my mind all night. I knew it was the right thing to do, and the faster it was done, the better.

“Can you find out what parts of the land in my dad’s name was won in the settlement from Garrett? I think he may have sold a little of it.”

“Should be easy enough,” Jen said, her chin coming to rest on Megan’s shoulder. “What do you want us to do with it?”

“Give it back to him. Any acreage I own that was once his, gift it back to him.”

“The rest of it?” Megan asked, her eyes watery again.

“Nothing. I’m not making any hasty decisions right now, but that land belonged to Garrett, and he should have it back. I don’t need that much property, and Dad left enough money for Holly to go through college twice and buy me three bars. According to his lawyer, some of his investments paid off.”

“About damn time he pulled his weight,” Jen said, blowing her nose and closing her eyes. “I’ll start the paperwork while you’re talking to Holly. That way you can sign it and mail it when you’re ready.”

“Thank you. It’s the right thing to do.”

Jen nodded and rose from her seat, leaning over her daughter to cup my cheek. “I’m going to leave you two for a bit. I’ll use Megan’s computer to remote access the office and get that done. I don’t want you stressing about it. Holly’s a teenager, but she’s not going to sleep forever.”

“Not when she had a riding lesson scheduled for ten,” I said, cringing. The war was about to turn into an epic battle.

Jen tapped my nose and kissed Megan on the top of the head before heading out, leaving my best friend and me alone. We both stayed silent for a while, neither one of us knowing what to say. I knew that she had been excited about the prospect of me moving home to Childress. When I’d allowed myself to think about it, I had, too. Outside of the high school politics and the fact that I’d lost Dustin here, I was falling in love with the place. It was beautiful, it’s where the majority of my family was, and I’d even considered knocking down my dad’s old place and opening a small bar. A place that was free of country music and boots and hats. I’d even considered building my dream home close to the trees that had been such a large part of my life before Dustin had died.

I’d been making plans without really thinking about what that meant. I’d envisioned a future, including a fluffy dog and a barn full of horses for my animal-crazy kid. A future where I was happy, and a future I’d included Garrett in.

I was an idiot.

“Did you really punch her in the face?” Megan asked, grinning as she met my eyes.

I held out my hand, and she examined the red swelling on my knuckles with absolute wonder. “She has a hard face.”

“I would have paid to see that.”

“Even though I hate her, I still felt awful for it. I just wanted to feel satisfied with finally putting her on her ass, and all I got was a handful of pain and this overwhelming feeling of shame for not controlling myself better.”

“Screw all that, Kay, she deserved to be put on her ass. I hope you broke her goddamn face for what she did. It’s better you know who Garrett is, but fuck her because that was your thing to deal with.”

“She actually said we were the only two to have both the Hill boys–like it was something to brag about.”

“She’s something else.”

“I hate her.”

“You and half the damn town. What was cute when she was a teen is pretty abrasive now she’s an adult.”

“That why she doesn’t spend much time here anymore?”

“Pretty much,” Megan said, folding her legs under her. “I’m not really interested in what she does in her life, but people talk. She only comes back to borrow money from her momma, and she stirs up trouble every time she’s here.”

“She never could stand the thought of life going on without her,” I commented, tracing the pattern of the comforter with my finger. “Like Garrett said, she was screwing him but still wanted the free ride out of town with Dustin.”

“Don’t worry,” Megan chuckled, perking up a little. “One day her boobs will be bouncing off her knees, and not even makeup will cover her ugliness. She wouldn’t know love if it bit her in the ass, and the day her appearance slips, that free ride she likes so much will be gone, and she will be a lonely old bitch, selling blow—”

She stopped talking the moment the front door of the apartment slapped shut and looked at me with absolute sympathy. The grunt of frustration that filtered through the living room was more than enough to tell us that Holly was awake, and just realized what was about to happen.

“Well, you get the point,” Megan said hurriedly, leaning forward to pat my knee. “Want some moral support?”

“Thanks, but I got this.” I smiled up at her and tipped my head to the door where stomped footsteps were becoming louder by the second. “Escape while you can.”

Leaning forward, Megan kissed my cheek before unfolding herself from the bed and hopping to her feet, grabbing the mugs as she went. Holly was at the door when she passed through it. Megan brushed her free hand through Holly’s hair once in affection before heading down the small hall. My eyes caught Holly’s as she stood in the frame of the door, her hands on her hips and face twisted in disappointment. Holly wasn’t going to give me an inch, and I deserved that.

“We’re leaving?” she asked, folding her arms across her chest and glaring at me. “What happened?”

Patting the bed in front of me, I tipped my head in invitation. Holly rolled her eyes and stomped toward me. When she reached the mattress, she climbed on and sat on her knees, arms returning to their folded position, her eyes still holding the unsympathetic glare.

I had a choice. Tell her the truth now, let her have the journey to think things through and talk it out, or wait until I got home and talk to her after hours of silence and stubborn glares of frustration in my direction.

Rocking forward, I cupped her cheeks in my hands and was encouraged when she didn’t shake me off in protest. She was my daughter, after all. I knew when I’d really screwed up, and though I was toeing the line now, she was still giving me the benefit of the doubt. Something I assumed was due to the sadness she could probably read in my expression, no matter how hard I tried to mask it. She knew me too well.

“We just got here, Mom. I have a riding lesson today.”

Rubbing a thumb under her red-rimmed but dry eyes, I sighed. “We have to cancel, but we can head into the mountains and ride there. We just can’t be here.”

“Why not? Everyone we love is here. Garrett is here,” she said, her look of hope shining through as she brought up his name. She was taking a shot in the dark that he wasn’t the problem, and I could see that from the slight cringe on her features.

“I know…”

“If you know then why are we leaving?”

I took a deep breath. It was now or never.

“Something happened last night, baby. I saw your daddy’s ex-girlfriend, and things didn’t… uh, go well.”

Holly pulled my swollen hand from her face and held it in the two of hers as she studied it. She hadn’t missed the redness of my skin when she’d sat. She’d just chosen to ignore it. Smart girl. Though I wasn’t surprised. She had always been intuitive and patient in ways people twice her age couldn’t be.

“Why’d you fight?”

I took in a breath and looked down at our hands before peering up at her again. There was so much to explain. She was only fourteen, but she deserved the truth now, and I was the only one who could deliver that.

“I told you everything I could about your daddy and grandma, baby, but there are some things I never told you. I was with your dad and Aunt Megan when I found out I was pregnant, but I never told Dustin that I was pregnant…”

I told her everything. How I’d kept the pregnancy from Dustin so he would go to school, my decision to tell Dustin about her when he got home from school that Thanksgiving. I told her about Libby’s lies and accusations when he came home for Thanksgiving, why she was so determined to rip our family apart and why she hated me. I told Holly about her Uncle Garrett and how I’d seen him then in comparison to the man I knew now, and I told her about both of her grandfathers. I told her how my dad had shot Dustin that night when he’d discovered I was pregnant, and the lies I’d told to the Hill men to keep her safe. I told her everything, including Garrett and who he was and the relationship we’d recently had and why I hadn’t made the connection sooner. Everything I’d hidden for the last fourteen years poured from me, and I bore my soul to the one person in the world who deserved to hear my confessions.

I was crying and had been for most of the time I’d been talking, but it was only at the end that Holly’s facade cracked and her tears came. She fell into my arms and sobbed like her whole world was falling down around her. I supposed it was, and it was all my fault.

“I’m so sorry, Holly. I was always going to tell you. I just wanted you to be old enough to understand.”

“Momma, you were trying to protect me when I didn’t need protecting. I’m not a kid.”

“I know that,” I said gently, my hands running through her hair in a soothing repetition. “You’ve always been so curious about your dad, and I wanted you to know him and everything about him so badly, but I had no way of knowing how his brother felt or how much he’d changed. I was protecting us both because losing you wasn’t an option for me.”

“Does he know I exist now?”

“No,” I admitted, swiping a tear from under my eye. “I wanted to talk to you first. I know it’s a horrible thing to do, but Suzanne made me promise. Then, last night when I figured it all out, I knew you had to know before he did. I’ll tell him, but only when you’re ready.”

Holly sagged in my arms and pushed away slowly, her eyes meeting mine for the first time. The look of understanding was more than I could have possibly hoped for. I’d lied to her, omitting a large part of her life from her. She should hate me, be upset and angry that I’d hidden it and her for so long. Especially when I couldn’t have been more proud to call her my daughter. It had been too much to even hope that she would have any level of understanding about what I’d done or why I’d done it. Yet, there it was, sitting in the moment of truth and she was thanking me with the eyes that so closely resembled Dustin’s.

“Thank you, Mom.”

“For what, baby?”

“Doing what you thought was best. For keeping me when you were really young and scared. For not being like your daddy and being bitter that I lived when Daddy died.”

Intuitive.

That was the only word that bashed around my skull as I looked at her. Lifting both of my hands, I pushed her hair back from her face and sucked in a deep breath as I leaned my forehead against hers. Love flooded every vein and pore I owned as I breathed in her familiar scent. My daughter was everything to me. She was the reason I fought so hard every single day to get shit right because she mattered. She always had.

“You have brought me more joy than I could ever put into words, baby girl. You are my sunshine, my reason for breathing, and the only thing in my life I can’t live without. I’m not perfect, I’ve made huge mistakes, but you’re the only thing I did right. Please, don’t ever doubt that.”

“I don’t, Momma.”

“That’s my girl.”

She gave me a watery smile, her head lifting at the pop of gravel from under the tires of an oncoming vehicle. It was coming too fast and my gaze followed hers. Dropping my hands from her pink cheeks, I clambered from my place on the bed and rushed to the window, skidding to a halt and pulling the sheer material aside so I could peer out.

“Shit.”

My heart dropped the moment I saw who was coming, my mouth drying up until I was swallowing compulsively. Nothing good would come from this today, I was sure of that, and from the look I got when I met Holly’s eyes, she understood that, too. She didn’t need to see who was coming. My reaction had been enough.

I watched as she rolled to her butt, her eyes flicking to the window and back to me again. She was resolved to stay put for now.

“Go. I’ll stay right here.”