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A Shot in the Dark by L.J. Stock (4)

Chapter Four

The red brick buildings of Childress High School hadn’t changed much over the years I’d been attending. Much like the buildings, my attitude about the place hadn’t changed, either. Most days I walked into the building feeling nothing. No eagerness to learn. No thrill of seeing the friends I’d missed at the weekend, and no promise of academic splendor. School was just part of my daily routine; something I had to do before I could escape this town and my unvarying life within the confines.

To my surprise, the routine that had made me so complacent in the past wasn’t the case that morning. Standing by my car and pulling my bag over my shoulder, I felt what I could only describe as excitement. The residual butterflies from the time I’d spent with Dustin over the past weekend were still buzzing around inside of me like a promise, and the building standing in front of me now held a very real guarantee of seeing him again.

Soon.

“Where have you been this weekend? I was calling almost all day yesterday.” Megan bounced her ass off the car beside me before she hit the flat side of the vehicle with her shoulder and twisted to lean her back against it. “Mom and I went to see a movie in Altus and wanted to invite you.”

“My dad had a late one, so I turned the ringer off,” I said casually, rolling so I was standing like her with my back against the car watching the buses unloading their cargo. Dumping my bag by my feet, I stretched my arms over my head, enjoying the pop of my vertebrae. I’d stayed out later than I normally did because I hadn’t been able to say goodbye to Dustin, and he’d been reluctant to go home at all.

“What was it last night?” she asked—her normal spark of humor at my musical obsession flaring.

“Sunday Shuffle. All decades in an epic mix.” I emulated the DJ and rolled my head to smile at her.

“They play our song?”

“No, sadly. Next time we go to the mall, I’m going to find a CD of that one. They just don’t play it enough.”

Megan nodded in agreement and glanced at me thoughtfully from the corner of her eyes. “You know, Mom gave you a cell phone for a reason, Mik. I tried calling that, too, but I got nothing. You're out God knows where with no one around to help if something happens. You really should have your phone.”

I grimaced at her. I hadn’t charged the phone since I’d received the box with the headset inside. A cellphone was just something else to ring unexpectedly and draw attention to myself when all I wanted was to blend into the background. I also preferred not to be accessible to anyone at any time. Being that available seemed like a bad idea, I didn’t want to have a technological leash in my pocket everywhere I went. Everyone had one, of course, but we’d more than established that I wasn’t everyone.

“Come on, before we’re late,” Megan said with a half-laugh as she rolled her eyes at me.

Scooping my bag from the asphalt, I flung it over my shoulder and followed her toward the doors to the corridor that led to our homeroom. Once we were inside, I would blend into the walls and hide behind her dazzling personality. Using Megan as a shield was one of my most effective tools at blending into invisibility. Once we went our separate ways, the effect was complete, and I would disappear into the crowd.

My shoulder was brushing against the lockers as we rushed forward, but as Megan turned the corner ahead of us, I found myself hauled backward by my bag jerking in the opposite direction. Before I could lose my footing, two strong arms slid under mine and set me right on my feet, followed by what sounded like an amused chuckle at my clumsiness in the face of the sudden directional change.

“I’m starting to see why I never noticed you before,” Dustin said, gripping my hand and forcing me to turn so he could tow me away from my intended destination.

“But–”

“I told Mr. Weston you were here, but you had a meeting with the counselor. Since he didn’t even recollect your name, I’d say you’re safe to come with me.”

“Okay,” I said, a giggle slipping from my lips without permission. “Where are we going?”

“Roof of the gym.”

“Why?”

“Because I’d rather talk to you than listen to Mr. Morley drawl on about city sustainability.”

“Why? It sounds enthralling.”

Missing the sarcasm, Dustin slowed, stumbled and looked over his shoulder at me in question. Only when he saw my smile did he started shaking his head and continue onward, a quiet laugh sounding as he pulled me close behind him and peered around a corner.

I couldn’t understand why he’d accosted me in school. I knew he and I had developed a decent friendship in the three days we’d spent together. He knew almost as much about me as Megan did now. I just hadn’t expected him to come and find me. I’d been prepared to steal glances at him, while he surrounded himself with his friends and acted as though life was normal. I wasn’t familiar with situations like the one we were in, but ignoring me in the halls would be what most people did. According to Megan, acting normal was what Libby had been doing in the face of her heartbreak.

By the time the two of us reached the roof of the gym, the warm Texas morning air had heated considerably. I could already feel the band shirt I was wearing clinging to my back as the material soaked up the beads of moisture sneaking down my spine. I tried to pry my damp fingers from Dustin’s, but he was relentless, continuing over to a structure sitting in the middle of the stone roof. My eyes widened with surprise as he slowed, his hand dipping into his pocket before pulling out his keys.

“What the hell is this?” I asked as he unlocked the door, tugged us inside, and flicked on a lamp sitting just inside the door. I was immediately thankful for the small window unit that started blowing frosty air into the space when Dustin flipped that on, too.

“The team calls this Coach’s Retreat.” He tapped his nose and pulled back a ragged curtain that revealed a tiny kitchen, a couch, and a twin bed covered in a blanket with the school mascot in the middle. “He hasn’t come up here since he quit smoking during my sophomore year, so he gave me the key.”

“Just you?”

“I am the key master.” He’d lowered his voice to make the word sound insidious. “He said I’d earned the right.”

Stunned, I released my bag, ignoring the thump of books inside as it landed, then dropped myself onto the bed, unafraid of what message that gave because we’d already established our boundaries. Dustin had made himself more than clear that we were nothing but friends, and I was good with that classification. I trusted him enough not to think twice about where I sat or what connotations the actions held. Though that didn’t seem to stop me from flirting unashamedly.

“Are you trying to seduce me, Dustin Hill? Because you could have at least sprayed a little something to take away the smell and put some Christmas lights up to soften the atmosphere. Bare bulb lights are a little harsh, don't you think?”

“I like the way you think, but…” He held up a finger and pulled a radio out from under the twin bed. “I think this will be far more enticing for you.”

After twisting the dial a couple of times, my favorite station—the one I couldn’t get anywhere in town—came in loudly with perfect clarity. The sound was even clearer than what I was able to get in my small grove of trees. Standing up and pointing between the radio and him, I grinned and bounced on my toes in delight. “Are you freaking kidding? You get so many points for that, Hill.”

“I thought I might. It’s also a little bribe so you won’t think I’m an absolute pussy.”

I’m not sure what I was expecting him to tell me. Maybe that he couldn’t be seen with me in school, or that our friendship couldn’t happen because he was the most popular guy in school, and I was a nobody who would just drag his reputation down to a mere human. Anyone else, and that would have absolutely been the case, but even as those thoughts drifted through my head, I knew better. I felt like after the weekend I knew him better than that, so I tried to keep the flare of anxiety to a minimum.

“A bribe?” I asked cautiously.

“Yes.” He shrugged his shoulders and pushed his hands into his pockets before he started fidgeting again. “When I got home last night, my dad was waiting up for me. I thought he was going to give me a break. Instead, he gave me an ultimatum. I either obey his rules, or I move out and cut all ties.”

“With your family?”

“All of them,” he said grimly, dropping to sit on the bed and pulling me down beside him. The emphasis on all told me his dad had used his mom as blackmail. Dustin dragged in a deep breath and cupped my hand in both of his. “So, I have to play football again—at least until the end of the season—and I’m hoping that offering you a key to this place and a radio with your favorite station will encourage you to watch the games in secret from here. I won’t feel so bad about missing Friday’s Hell Bent Hair Bands with you if I know you’re watching from here.”

If the weekend had taught me anything, it was that Dustin couldn’t sacrifice his mom, so the threat was a really shitty move on the older Hill’s part. Dustin and I had talked about meeting at the grove after school most days, and I knew he was telling me it wasn’t just Fridays he would have to give up, but some of the weekdays when he had his practice days, too. I couldn’t find it in myself to say no. Not when his family wasn’t offering him support in any way.

“I’m sure I can manage some Fridays. Maybe some practices too if it’s really hot out there.” I spread my free arm out and into the cool stream of air from the small window unit. “Air conditioning is a luxury, after all.”

“You don’t think I’m a completely whipped little boy?”

I shook my head and smiled at him. “We all do fucked up shit for our families.”

“Some more than others.” Dustin smiled and held up a key. “Okay, so I made you a copy, but no one can know about this. And if you get a creepy ‘come and meet me’ note in your locker, or someone grabs you without warning, it’s probably me needing to escape the insufferable assholes that I sometimes call friends.”

“It’s all in again, then?” I asked, taking the key and pressing the cool metal against my palm.

“Mostly. Still haggling with my dad over other conditions.”

I wasn’t sure what that meant, but by the glint in Dustin’s eyes, I could only imagine these conditions weren’t anything good. When I’d only admired Dustin from afar, I’d never have thought he was the type to wear his emotions on his sleeve like this. If you didn’t know what you were looking for, you’d miss the small emotional trigger, but after three intense days of getting to know one another, I knew what I was looking at and exactly what his expression meant. He’d lost a battle but he was still in the war, and as his friend, I had no inclination other than to support him in any way I could.

Sitting through another few songs together, we eventually left the room to make our first-period classes. I was probably in the best mood I’d ever been while wandering the halls of this building. The key that now sat next to my car key seemed like a ray of sunshine that was burning a hole in my pocket. If I could have stayed in that room all-day and still caught up on classes, I would have. No one would have noticed if I was in class or not, but like most of the student body, I had to work for my grades. I was a mediocre at best and had really put all of my efforts into getting the As and Bs on my report card. Mediocrity would have been so easy, coasting through school when there was no accountability at home, so simple, but I wanted to go to college someday, so I worked hard at school and my grades. At least I had an air-conditioned room to do my homework in after school now, along with my music—an even better way to stay invisible.

The week passed quickly. Far more quickly than any other time I’d spent in the halls of Childress High. As promised, small notes were pushed into my locker with cryptic writing, summons, and split-second abductions, whisking me away from the mundane parts of my day. This new aspect of my educational experience was thrilling and exciting, and I found myself waiting for the next time I would see Dustin. The anticipation built inside of me as a constant reminder that, in a few short days, I was growing more attached to Dustin Hill than I knew was safe. I wasn’t totally blind or delusional. I had noticed the secrecy that Dustin was establishing our friendship on. I was being hidden away like an enigma, a little secret that was bordering on dirty for the high school football star. However, there was also a huge part of me that knew his secrecy wasn’t by choice. I think if he could have stopped in the halls and exchanged the banter that was becoming familiar to us, he’d have been happy to do that, but even as an observer on the outside, I saw the constant scrutiny he was under. Not just from his friends—from the teachers, Libby, and her clique, too. All eyes were constantly on him, and he seemed to understand I wanted no part of that, that I actively avoided even being acknowledged when I could. We’d even talked about my ability to hide in plain sight most days, and after school on Monday, he’d asked if I intentionally stayed invisible. When I'd admitted hiding was easier, that privacy I’d clung to for so long ensured he stayed away from me when surrounded by the crowds that normally coalesced around him.

When the two of us were alone, the indescribable joy that filled me was addictive. Dustin Hill was probably one of the single most respectful and sweet people I’d ever met. We would sit for hours together, talking and laughing. Most days we lay top and tail on the small bed, his fingers finding my calves and tracing patterns as he talked about everything and nothing in equal amounts. The more I saw him, the more he felt like a drug I couldn’t possibly give up. His voice began to quickly hold warmth and security. His compulsive laughter could lighten my mood no matter where I heard the deep resonance. His eyes were the most intense things I’d ever seen. I finally felt like I had someone who got me in every way and had to force myself to ignore the growing attachment I had to him. I didn’t dare put a label on what we had. I knew I would only end up broken, and that thought terrified me.

Drifting through the school days, the two of us passed glances to each other in the halls as we moved like strangers, and then laughed about our stealth as we played cards in Coach’s Retreat in the evenings. No topic of conversation was off the table, and our natural banter became second nature. For me, school was finally tolerable and enjoyable, no longer dragging like the hours were attempting to go backward.

By Friday afternoon, we’d fallen into a comfortable pattern. We barely needed the notes anymore, even if we did still exchange them like a pair of kids with their first decoders. When I finally fell onto the twin bed with the radio playing quietly after school, I actually reveled in the fact that I had the place to myself while Dustin was at practice before the big game. I had agreed to watch from the roof and even had extra snacks for the occasion. Dustin promised he was going to come and see me between practice and the start of the game, but I was still surprised when he popped in and dropped onto the bed with a dramatic growl of frustration, right next to where I was laying on my stomach reading.

He rolled onto his side and his hand landed on my butt and stayed there—his other plucking the book from my grip and dropping the paperback between us like the placement of his touch was completely normal. Looking over my shoulder and back at him with curiosity, I waited for an explanation. He’d never touched me in any intimate fashion like that before. The only time he ever touched me was when he slung an arm over my shoulders casually.

“I’ve been thinking,” he said, his hand twitching on my butt.

“We’ve been over this, Dustin,” I said, sighing dramatically. “Thinking is a dangerous sport and should be executed with extreme caution.”

I squeaked with surprise when he squeezed my butt cheek in his palm.

“I’ve decided that I like who I am when I’m with you,” he breathed, the words almost lost against the hum of the air conditioner.

I frowned, rolling to face him, noting his hand still firmly on my ass. My lip found its way between my teeth as I waited for him to finish the thought. Dustin reached forward with his free hand, his thumb sweeping over my bottom lip released it from the grip I had.

“Okay.” Was all I had. My heart was beginning to hammer enough to make my chest wobble. My stomach suddenly burst to life as the hive of butterflies I’d kept under control took off. The air seemed almost too thin in the small room.

“I thought that being your friend made sense.” He looked up, shaking his head hastily when he met my eyes. “And it still does. But I want more, Miki, so much more. Every time I look at you, I think about kissing you, about pulling you closer and burying my face in your hair just to breathe you in. I long to see you, if nothing more than to tell you what I've been thinking or doing since I saw you last because I know that it matters to you.”

“Have you…?” I paused and looked up into his eyes for courage.

“Have I what?” he asked, pushing my hair back from my face with a shaky hand, funny how his hand on my ass felt rock steady.

“Have you been reading my journal?” I asked, my sarcasm lost in the shakiness of my tone. I was scared to death.

Several things flickered past Dustin’s eyes as he studied me. Concern, humor, lust, and then I was pretty sure adoration shone back at me.

“You, too?” he asked with a blinding smile.

I nodded. I wasn’t sure how to tell him that I’d felt that way since I’d started talking to him under my trees only a week before. How I’d lusted after him like a stupid little girl, but never once let myself think about what I felt or allowed myself to really feel the emotions. I’d been ignoring this chemistry between us, and now the kinetic energy was flooding into my body like a dam being opened. How could anyone feel this way about someone else after only a week in the other’s company?

Dustin leaned forward slowly, his eyes the same blue as a swimming pool in the dead of summer. The look he was giving me was intense and enticing, full of pleading and comfort, and I found myself leaning toward him like he was a magnet. I had no way of escaping the pull I felt, and I really didn’t want to. Words didn’t fit between us. There were no words that could describe how I was feeling.

Less than an inch apart, Dustin rolled me onto my back and closed the distance between us. The hand on my ass pulled my body closer to his as he took control, the pressure of his mouth on mine a guiding force. My hands gripped his shirt and held him close as his tongue slipped between my lips and ran along the bottom one hungrily. Every thought I’d ever had fell from my head as I pushed back against him, taking as much as he was offering and giving him more than I had to lose. My body lit up, an unfamiliar pressure building in the bottom of my stomach as the hand on my ass circled to grip my hip, while his teeth nipped softly at my top lip. I was lost in the moment and the slow grind of our bodies as we tried to get closer to one another, making my breath heave from me. We were welding together, and it seemed to take a gargantuan effort to pull apart. Dustin was the one that finally found the resolve.

“Damn. I didn’t expect that.” He swallowed and looked down at me again, his eyes searching for something as his lips curled into a bewildered smile. “Your kisses are dangerous.”

“Bad dangerous?” I whispered, feeling stupid at being a novice at this kind of thing.

“Addictive dangerous.” His eyes backed up his words as they gazed into mine. “I’m going to have to back off now, or I’m going to be playing fucking awkwardly in the game tonight.”

I flashed him an amused smile, not expecting his candid explanation, and that only seemed to make him stare at me more intently. I didn’t dare tell him that what we’d just shared had been my first kiss, or that he’d just given me something I never thought I would get in this one-horse town. We were locked on one another in an intense way, and only when the DJ on the radio announced the time, did Dustin seem surprised and disappointed at once.

“Fuck. I have to go.” He dropped another, gentler kiss on my lips. This one felt more reverent and tender but lasted only a second. He came in for a second, a third, and then growled quietly in frustration at himself.

“Okay,” I finally said, a little dazed.

“I really don’t want to.”

“I don’t want you to,” I admitted, laughing against his lips as he attacked me again. I didn’t want him to go because I didn’t want to stop kissing him. Just a taste of him, and I knew I would never have enough of this. I greedily wanted to keep him to myself.

When Dustin finally pulled back, leaving me breathless, dizzy, and warm, he smiled like I was the only other person on Earth. “Don’t leave. Wait for me, okay?”

The only way I could answer was with a nod. I was afraid that if I moved, I would melt into a puddle and never reform. I couldn’t imagine being anywhere but here waiting for him just like he’d asked me to. After only a week in his presence, I knew I would have followed him anywhere had he asked me to.

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