Having anyone know about Dustin just seemed utterly surreal when I could hardly believe what was happening myself. Having my best friend know was more of a relief than I could have ever imagined. Megan knowing was a validation and made what Dustin and I had more real, and much more tangible. I no longer felt as though I was going through some insane hallucination or mental breakdown.

That didn’t mean there wasn’t a downside to the knowledge being out there.

Next to Dustin pulling me from the halls on my way to classes, I now had Megan doing the same. I selfishly preferred Dustin’s abductions, as he and I would make out like starving people faced with a burger. His hands wandered a little too hungrily at times, exploring the skin under my shirt until my flesh burned with lust and my brain shut down completely. Passion wasn’t ever absent from us. We had the stuff in buckets of excess, which made me adore those moments we spent together talking because they were all the more precious.

Megan liked to pull me aside to feed me what was being said about Dustin and Libby, or what Libby was saying in the restrooms between classes. Her updates were a constant reminder of something I was trying my hardest to forget, but she was warning me out of kindness, and out of fear for me being caught by Libby who was still very much territorial when it came to Dustin. I couldn’t be upset with her about the deed.

I knew I should feel bad about Libby in some capacity. I didn’t really know her all that well, and even though I knew she could be an absolute bitch, she was still a girl with very real feelings. She was a girl who was openly observed as being my boyfriend’s girlfriend by most of the school’s inhabitants. When I had a quiet moment to myself, I realized how messed up that sounded, even in my own head.

How cruel would this situation be if it turned out she was starting to believe the lie she was living, which I had a sneaking suspicion she already did? I tried my best to avoid seeing them together. Dustin always looked extremely uncomfortable and stiff around her, but Libby made up for the weirdness by draping herself over him like a blanket. Dustin’s expressions helped me because they were always so easy to read, and I couldn’t understand how the people who claimed to be his friends couldn’t see just how out of place the situation made him feel. Troy was the only one who ever stepped in with some joke, or separated Dustin from the group under the pretense of football questions so Dustin could relax for even a minute.

The irony of all of this was the fact that now I was trying my hardest to be invisible, I was being seen more often than I ever had in the past. When Libby was holding Dustin’s hand, his eyes would inevitably find mine, even in the middle of a sizable crowd. I could always see the apology aimed at me and with a need to reassure him, I would smile, wink, and lose myself in the crowd of people around me until he was out of sight, and I was one less thing for him to worry about. When walking down the halls, Troy would unexpectedly grin at me as he passed, a secretive smile spreading across his face leaving me feeling absolutely confused when I didn’t think he’d known I’d existed before Dustin had pointed me out to him. Then there was Megan. Most days she couldn’t pick me out from the crowd, either—and she’d tried—but now I was butt bumped across the halls as she caught up with me. Rob looked mildly bored as she whispered to me under her breath. It was only ever the three of them who sought me out, but three was enough, and it was only a matter of time before someone else noticed, too.

Wandering away from the gym, a little starry-eyed after spending time with Dustin, Megan accosted me the moment I stepped through the doors into the main building of the school. Without warning, she swept into the closest empty classroom she could find and kicked the door closed behind us.

“Hi to you, too,” I said with a chuckle as I attempted to catch my balance.

“So glad I caught you. I’ve been looking for you through lunch. Rob had practice, so I was in the cafeteria with that girl from… Erin is looking for you,” she said cutting herself off with exasperation. Glancing out through the small glass square, she assessed whether or not we’d been caught.

“Okay. Who is Erin?” I asked, ignoring the impertinent look I received from my best friend. She was standing with her shoulder against the door so she could keep watch but gave me a double take when she realized I was being sincere.

“Libby’s best friend and Troy’s girlfriend.”

I didn’t even attempt to hide my groan as I pulled myself up to sit on a desk and swing my legs. “Why, Megan? Why is she looking for me?”

“Someone may have told her that Troy keeps smiling at this completely random junior.” She shrugged, telling me that she wasn’t really sure of the details. That didn’t stop me from digging, though. This school was like a cesspit of poisoned Purple Monkey Dishwasher on the best of days, and my worst nightmare was my name being fed into that horror show.

“Someone?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.

“I don’t know who or why.”

“If I do, you do, too, Meg.” Yep, I’d made the mental deductions there, and I was surprised she hadn’t.

“You think it’s Libby?”

I nodded. “I do, and not because she knows about Dustin and me or anything, but because Troy is acting like a buffer between the two of them and she seems to be that callous and vindictive.”

“What do you mean?” she asked, peering out the window again.

“Every time she tries to get too close to Dustin, Troy steps in and breaks the coziness up.”

“Oh. Right. That makes sense, I guess.” Megan pushed away from the door and moved to sit on the desk next to me. “But why you?”

“Because Troy does smile at me, and he winks conspiratorially as he passes in the halls. I have no doubt Libby’s noticed the small gesture with the way she glares at him when he leaves.”

“So, she thinks you and Troy have something instead?” She swung her legs in perfect synchronization with mine. “Kind of ironic when you think about it.”

“Yeah, and I just wanted to be invisible and go about my business.”

“That was never going to happen, Miki. You and I both know that Dustin being in your life in any capacity changes just about everything. You can’t be hidden and obscure once this thing with Libby is over. He already has a hard time keeping his eyes off you. He won’t be able to keep his distance if he doesn’t have to.”

I felt the tickle of satisfaction at her comment. What girl didn’t want to be noticed by the guy who had taken her virginity and made her toes curl when he kissed her? Knowing that he sought me out in the crowd was a huge compliment; even if that one tiny action created a world of complications I hadn’t allowed myself to think about.

“Why not?” I asked almost petulantly. “Why can’t we just keep going the way we are, him just not being with Libby anymore?”

“You and I both know every girl in this school will throw themselves at his feet once he’s broken up with Libby. You may not want all the glory that comes with being his girlfriend, but there are plenty of girls out there who do.”

“You act like he has no choice in the matter.”

“No.” She leaned into me, pressing her shoulder against mine. “I’m not saying that. I’m just thinking about you having to watch all those girls fall over themselves to get his attention every hour of every day. He won’t be able to steal away with you at lunch because everyone will be trying to get him on his own, following him around like lost puppies.”

Megan flailed her arms about in example, and I smiled at her.

“I think you’ve watched one too many zombie movies.”

Megan shrugged, but her eyes lit up as another topic came slamming into her head. “Speaking of zombies, are you up for the haunted house again this Halloween?”

“Do I ever let you down?”

“Not once.” She grinned at me, her face dropping only when she faced the door again. “Shit.”

Following her gaze, I immediately knew where the sentiment came from. There was a pretty senior girl at the door, peering through the window, her eyes narrowing as she gazed between the two of us. I only recognized her from the group that was always around Dustin.

“Erin?” I asked with a sigh.

“That would be her,” Megan said, turning her body to face mine. “You want me to stay?”

“That’s your call. I know you’re in with these people, so I get it if you wanna go.”

“No way in hell. Let’s get this over with.”

Megan waved Erin in and introduced us in her normal light way, her smile constantly plastered on her lips as though nothing was untoward. Her normalcy helped keep me calm, but the same couldn’t be said for Erin. Her face grew a deeper shade of pink as Megan and I sat together, swinging our legs as calmly as we could. Erin didn’t look mad really, but she didn’t look happy, either. As she shook her head, her blonde hair slid over her shoulder and disappeared down her back as she inhaled to start talking.

“Listen,” Erin started, her voice was soft, and with her Texan twang she sounded too adorable to really project her anger in any way. She grabbed the strap of her messenger bag and squeezed for courage. “I would normally just go to Troy about something like this, especially if I thought he’d done something wrong, but I have a feeling Libby is being dramatic. She seems to think that you and Troy are... um, seeing one another behind my back.”

The last part came out in a hurried rush. She didn’t feel any more comfortable than I did with all of this, and the knowledge made my response come easily. I’d always found it easier to tell the truth than a lie.

“I’ve never spoken to Troy, Erin. Not in a conversation, anyway. I said hey once walking past him when I cut across his path, but that’s about the extent of our interactions.”

“So, he’s never winked at you?”

“Oh, he did.” I noticed Megan’s cautious glance at me, she was surprised I was admitting to something like that, but the truth was, I had nothing to hide. Smiling in reassurance, I continued. “I think he was just being nice, though. I’d just dodged out of the way of one of his friends.”

Erin relaxed, her shoulders noticeably dropping as she leaned against the desk behind her. She looked more irritated now than she had when she’d entered, only her displeasure wasn’t aimed at me. That was something I could live with. I’d told her nothing but the truth, and I had nothing to feel guilty about.

“I’m sorry,” she finally said, her tone a little less hostile. “I know better than this, I really do, and I trust Troy. Only when someone gets in your head like that, the doubt can confuse matters, even when you know what they’re saying can’t possibly be true.”

“Someone you trust?” I asked as she’d already alluded to the fact Libby had been the one to tell her.

“I used to.” She sighed and pushed up from the desk. “But that’s not your problem. I’m really sorry that I came at you like that. Troy just would have been hurt if I’d asked.”

“I get it.” And I did. For the first time in my life, I knew what it was like to trust someone while battling your own doubts. I hated seeing Libby and Dustin together, and I think the situation would have been impossible for anyone to watch, only I trusted how he felt about me.

“Thanks, guys. I guess I’ll see you around, Miki.”

I nodded in response and watched as she left the room, rolling my eyes as Megan dramatically blew out all the breath in her lungs. Neither of us had been sure where that had been going, and the fallout had been far less painful than I’d anticipated.

The silence lasted for a while. Everything unsaid by Megan were the things I was already telling myself. The next time something like this happened, the confrontation could be from Libby, and the discussion wouldn’t be quite as easy. Libby knew the relationship between her and Dustin was a lie, but that didn’t mean she’d accepted that or given up hope on changing the status. I also had it on good authority that she could be a royal bitch. Not a surprise, especially considering her best friend had just referred to her as someone she used to trust. A confrontation with Libby wasn’t something I was going to take on willingly, either.

“That was an interesting development,” Megan finally said.

“What was?”

“Erin and Libby not being as close as they used to be. I don’t care how mad at you I am, if someone had asked me that question, there would’ve been no hesitation. Shit would have to be pretty damn bad to get that kind of answer from me.”

“Not everyone has had their best friend since birth.” I grinned, rocking into her.

“I guess we’re just lucky.”

“Yep.”

Megan laughed, then sighed as she shuffled around to face me. “Miki, this whole situation worried me when I found out. All week I’ve been listening to the chatter, scared that Libby would find out. I wasn’t doing it to upset you, either. I listened so I could keep you safe. It took me a while to see how messed up that is, and I was pretty upset with myself about that. All that mattered to me was that you were happy, and I’m finally starting to see that you really, really are. So, I’m just going to say this once, and I will never bring it up again...” She sucked in a deep breath. “No matter what happens, no matter what Libby says or does, please fight for what you want. You deserve to be happy, and Dustin is crazy about you. If Libby ever does approach you, please remember this conversation because she will say anything to get you to doubt yourself and Dustin. She’ll make you doubt the way he feels about you. Just… don’t let her, okay?”

I studied my best friend for a long moment, nodding as I let the words sink in and penetrate the stubborn layer of myself. I knew what she was saying to be true. I’d actually seen Libby cut someone down like that in one of the girls’ toilets before. She was brutal, relentless, and as tenacious as a dog with a bone.

“I promise.”

“You better mean that.”

“I do, Meg.”

Eyeing me carefully, she finally looked satisfied that my answer was rock solid and nodded her head in acceptance. I knew she didn't want me to hurt. I'd known she was scared for me the moment she caught Dustin sneaking into my room. I was just as adept at judging her moods as she was with mine. Her sudden acceptance of the way I felt was like a small battle won. I didn't need validation for how I felt. I was too independent for that. I couldn't have lied to myself about my feelings if I wanted to, but knowing that Megan saw that I wore my heart on my sleeve too, just made me even more comfortable.

I wasn't looking forward to any confrontation with Libby as much as I wasn't looking forward to anyone else finding out about Dustin and me. Walking the halls and listening to people commentating on his relationship with his fake girlfriend was bad enough. Every jealous girl picked the coupling apart to the bones, and every guy seemed either unconvinced that Libby wasn't screwing someone behind his back, or she was his beard, a term I discovered meant she was an organized distraction for him loving boys rather than girls.

Jealousy was an ugly, ugly emotion.

Megan and I made our way to the next class as the bell rang, escaping the classroom before it filled with people. We parted ways, and rather than go into the gym for class, I climbed the ladder again, letting myself in so I could flip down on the bed and just close my eyes for a moment.

When I opened the door, Dustin was still inside.

“Oh, hey,” I said, my grin growing as I pulled the door closed behind me and leaned against it. “I thought you'd be long gone by now.”

“I knew you had gym,” he admitted cheekily. He was sprawled out on the bed, his shirt still open from our make out session earlier. His hands were folded behind his head, and his ankles were crossed as he watched me linger in the small entrance, bathing in the cool air from the window unit. He analyzed me for a while longer before sitting up and reaching out to me with both hands. “What's wrong?”

I moved to him with very little thought, my bag sliding down my arm and dropping to the floor before I took his hands and climbed onto the small twin bed. Pulling me against his chest, Dustin folded his arms around my body and lay back once again. He smelled so distinct and familiar as I pressed my cheek against him, every ounce of tension dripped from my muscles, and I melted into him.

“Libby.” The one word was enough to get his full attention.

Dustin tensed, his comfortable, warm chest becoming a hard, flat surface. “What did she do?”

“Nothing directly. She planted a thought in Erin's head that Troy and I were dating behind her back. I think it was a dig aimed at Troy rather than me, but I just happened to be the girl in range.”

Running his fingers through my hair, Dustin finally relaxed a little. That clearly wasn't the Libby altercation he'd been expecting.

“So, Erin came to you rather than Troy because she didn't want to insult him?”

“Oh. You're good,” I said quietly. “She was really sweet about the way she asked and seemed more pissed off at Libby than anyone else.”

“That’s because Libby doesn't have friends. She has pawns in her little games. Erin's always been the closest thing to a friend she’s ever had, but she has to be pretty pissed off to play her and risk their friendship like that.”

“You think she knows there's something going on?”

“I don't really care,” Dustin replied flippantly. “She knows she and I are not dating. The only worry I have now is that she’ll come after you when she finds out the truth.”

“Oh, she will.” I had no doubt about that. It was the only way Libby could control the situation. Keep everyone away from him, and there was no competition. “It won't be fun, but I'm prepared for it. I've seen her attack girls for looking at you before.”

Dustin brushed his hands up under my hair and cupped my neck. His thick fingers rubbed against my scalp, making me groan in appreciation. As much as I loved kissing him, moments like this were what I lived for. The excuses to touch one another while we talked, just existing together, breathing the same air as the heat transferred between our flesh. I could have stayed like this forever.

Admittedly, I preferred a different topic of conversation, but I took what I could get.

Several weeks with this guy and I knew I was in deep. I couldn't imagine a day without him, or an evening without him calling to say goodnight, with his deep, gravely voice coaxing me into a sense of security I knew I could count on. Every day we spent in one another's company was another minute and second that my feelings for him intensified. I couldn't even imagine how I would feel about him in a month. Just the thought of that intensity was terrifying to me.

With a gentle nudge from his hand, Dustin coaxed me up his body until our lips met with an ache of lust and passion. Like always, every thought I had in my head drained out until all that was left behind was the two of us, and I was more than okay with that.