I resisted the urge to touch her often. It was one of the most difficult challenges I’d ever known. And now, after those few minutes beneath the trees, it would be infinitely more so.
She was thin, too thin really, but still she filled my arms. The gentle way she pushed close and the sound of her indrawn breaths were like steel shackles around me. There were so many unanswered questions, but there was also one endless answer.
I belonged to her.
I almost felt as if I couldn’t exist without her. That if she somehow vanished tomorrow, most of who I was would also disappear.
It’s why I believed her when she said someone was out there watching her. Watching us. I felt a threat, too. Someone wanted to take her. I didn’t know why. Hell, I knew barely anything.
I just knew I wouldn’t lose her. Never again.
We held hands the entire silent ride up to her floor, stepped out into the hall as one unit, and walked a few steps. Amnesia halted abruptly, and my torso rotated to see what was wrong.
Her brown eyes were focused on where our hands were clasped. Slowly, her eyes lifted to meet mine.
“I like holding your hand like this,” she confided.
My chest tightened. “Me, too.”
“I have to let go now,” she told me, sadness in her gaze. “I’m afraid if the doctors think we’re getting too close, they won’t let you see me.”
Determination swelled within me. “No one is going to keep me away.”
He lips lifted, her face wistful. “Sometimes I wish I was a normal girl, but then I realize I don’t even know what normal is.”
“Normal is whatever you want it to be.”
I felt her hand slowly slip from mine. I didn’t grab it back, though I wanted to.
“They’re waiting,” she said, and we continued into the hall toward her room.
She walked in first. I saw the change come over her body. “What’s wrong?” Quickly, I moved forward, rushing into the room and angling slightly in front of her.
“Sorry to interrupt your fresh air,” Dr. Beck said, “but we want to talk.”
The room was full. Dr. Beck, Dr. Kline, a few nurses, and a couple other doctors who had been working on Amnesia’s case. The police officer who was working her case also stood by. There was another man I didn’t really know. He was dressed in a suit, tie included. He oozed authority.
My stance in front of her didn’t relax. In fact, I felt even more protective. “What’s going on?”
“Doctor-patient confidentiality. If you could step out in the hall—” Dr. Beck began.
My laugh cut him off. “No.”
“Mr. Donovan.” The man in the suit spoke up. “I hear the staff here have been very… shall we say, accommodating regarding your coming and going in this hospital—”
“Who are you?” I cut him off, too.
“I’m the hospital director.”
“It’s fine.” Amnesia spoke up. “I want him here.”
Dr. Beck and Mr. Director backed off. I smiled at them.
“As you know, you’ve been with us about four months now.” Dr. Beck began. Beside me, Am nodded. “I realize your memory is not recovered, but all your other injuries have healed. For all intents and purposes, you have a clean bill of health.”
“You’re kicking me out,” Am said, her voice oddly void.
“Of course not,” the director said. “But rules and regulations… Hospital policy states we cannot house a person who no longer requires care.”
“She has no memory. No home, money, or means to support herself,” I said, angry.
“What will I do?” Amnesia worried. Despite her words in the hallway about not holding my hand, I felt her fingers seek mine. Instantly, my hand flexed, inviting her in, closing around hers possessively.
She was afraid. I couldn’t even tell her not to be.
“Given the uniqueness of this situation—”
Amnesia made a sound, cutting off the doctor, then turned toward the police officer. “Has someone come forward claiming to know me? Did you find out who I am? Is that why you’re here?”
Regret shone in his face. “No, ma’am. I’m sorry to say we haven’t had any new leads in the last couple weeks. Have you remembered anything more?”
Her shoulders fell. “No.”
“Then why are you here?” I asked.
The officer’s eyes moved to me. “I want to assure you”—he looked back at Am—“we haven’t given up. This town is behind you one hundred percent.”
“No one wants you to feel alone, honey,” Nurse Ellen spoke.
“This is a very rare situation. We’re working on some paperwork to try and get you on disability, which will support you until you can decide what you’ll do,” the director said.
My jaw clenched. He acted as if she were going to leave. I wouldn’t let her. She had to stay.
“It’s difficult because you are not physically disabled, and the fact that you have no birth certificate, social security number, identification… or even a name, well… it’s very cumbersome.”
“But I still can’t stay here?” Her voice was shaky.
“It’s going to be okay,” I told her. “You can come home with me.”
“I would advise against that,” Dr. Kline was quick to say.
“So living on the streets is a better idea?” I snapped.
“We actually have worked out an arrangement, somewhere for you to stay for the time being,” Dr. Kline told Am, ignoring me completely.
She didn’t like me. The feeling was mutual.
The tall woman walked across the room. As she passed by Am, my hand tightened around hers. Dr. Kline stuck her head out the door and spoke quietly to someone. Seconds later, she came back in, holding the door open.
Maggie Foster stepped into the room. She was dressed in a pair of khaki pants and a blouse with flowers on it. Over it was a pink cardigan.
“Hi, Amnesia,” she said, smiling. Am smiled back. I knew she liked Maggie a lot. “I was wondering if perhaps you’d like to come and stay with me?”
“With you?” Am said, surprised. “But why?”
“I think we’ve become friends over the last couple weeks. I’ve enjoy playing cards with you. You don’t have anywhere to go, and I’m in a position to help. It’s what the people here at Lake Loch do.”
“That’s a very generous offer, but me living with you is a lot different than playing cards.”
“I live alone, with plenty of room in my house. Besides, Elmo would like the company. He’s bored of me.”
Elmo was Maggie’s beloved Shih Tzu.
Am looked up at me, her eyes asking me what she should do. I loved the feeling, the weight of her eyes, the way she looked to me for an opinion.
Personally, I wanted her at my place. To have her around every day. That was what was best for me, though, not her.
“Maggie is a really good cook,” I admitted, then grinned. “She’s pretty good company, too.”
Maggie chuckled.
Am debated, glancing around the room. Everyone watched her, waiting to see what she would do. Dr. Kline nodded, as if encouraging her.
“Thank you, Maggie. If you’re sure it will be okay…”
Maggie smiled wildly and nodded. “Of course! I’m thrilled to have you.”
All the doctors in the room appeared very relieved. “Wonderful,” Dr. Beck concluded, glancing down at his clipboard. “I will have all your discharge papers ready for the morning.”
“Outpatient care will continue with me,” Dr. Kline said. “I will print out all your upcoming appointments, but if anything happens, such as a memory resurfacing or anything at all, please come to my office immediately.”
Am hesitated, then said, “Okay.”
Dr. Kline was very perceptive. “Amnesia? Is there something you haven’t told me? Have you remembered something?”
“No. I haven’t had any memories.” She hedged. I knew she was thinking about what just happened outside and how she was convinced someone wanted to finish what they’d started.
“Then something else?”
I looked at her, her eyes meeting mine then skirting away.
“No, nothing,” she said finally, pasting on a smile. “I’m just nervous about leaving.”
“Leaving the hospital can be very scary.” The doctor empathized. “This has been your safe place since you woke. But moving forward will help you feel stronger. Building some kind of life after the one you lost is crucial to your healing.”
“What about my memories?” Am worried.
“Perhaps leaving will help bring some forward. I really can’t say. I don’t know if you will get them back.” After gazing at Am a few silent moments, she seemed to feel bad, as if she wanted to make her feel more secure. “I do know this town is very safe and supportive. You couldn’t ask for a better place to recover.”
The doctors, nurses, and even the police officer all took their leave. Maggie and Amnesia made some plans for the morning, but I butted in and volunteered to drive Am over to her new place.
Once everyone was gone, she looked at me, her eyes unsettled. “How safe is Lake Loch really, Eddie?”
I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t give her the answer she needed, and I couldn’t bring myself to voice what I knew she was already thinking.
I also knew, even better than her, that Lake Loch had some mysteries in its depths.