Her eyes were open. Unblinking and sort of glassy. She looked like a doll from a horror film, the kind with the round glass eyes that followed you when you weren’t looking.
I shivered. Ever since I first saw her at Loch Gen, something about her creeped me out. Of course, now I knew why.
This woman with her long grey hair, pointy nose, and seemingly sad, lonely life took everything from me. I estimated her to be in her sixties, which one would think would make her old enough to know better.
She lay in the hospital bed, the head slightly propped up. Her gray hair was tangled around her shoulders, so long it covered her chest. Her skin was pale, making all the bruises and injuries on her face stand out. Her knuckles were scraped and raw, and she looked thin beneath the hospital gown.
Her body was unmoving, her eyes unfocused, and her mouth in a rigid line. It was almost as if someone hit pause on her controls and she was frozen exactly how she’d been.
Creeping closer to the bed, I watched the monitors record her vitals, listened to the beeping of the machines. She didn’t seem to know I was here, and if she did, she was an expert at pretending.
“I know you’re faking,” I said, stepping close to the side of the bed. “Pretend all you want, but eventually, you’ll have to come out of it. Eventually, you’ll have to tell them what you’ve done.”
I waited for a reaction, but none came. She still sat prone, her spine-chilling eyes staring into space.
I reached up, snapping my fingers over her face. Nothing. I poked her arm then pulled her hair. She didn’t react at all.
“You took everything from me,” I whispered. “You and that man who I can barely remember.” Leaning closer, I whispered in her ear. “But in the end, you didn’t win. I did. I have a second chance, a clean mind, undisturbed by the awful things you did to me. And you’re going to be locked away forever.”
Maybe it was wrong to taunt her, but it felt good to do so. It gave me some sense of justice.
Leaning back, I stared down at her. “You took me away from Eddie once before. But not again. Not ever again. I love him, and he loves me.”
The only response I got was more beeping from the monitors.
Even though she didn’t acknowledge what I said, I knew deep down she heard me. I knew my words taunted her, and that small victory made me feel better.
Now all that was left was exhaustion. My head hurt, my body hurt, and I wanted to be in Eddie’s arms.
Without a single glance back, I walked away from the bed, leaving her there in solitude.
The second my hand hit the handle on the door, her voice, gravelly and low, echoed through the room. “He doesn’t love you.”
I spun around, not even sure if what I heard was real.
She was still lying in the exact same position, her eyes still staring blankly at nothing at all.
I was imagining things. With a small shake, I turned back to leave.
“He loves Sadie. Not you.”
I whirled around when she spoke again, rushed to the bed, leaned over her, and pressed my face close to hers. No reaction at all.
An eerie feeling stole over me, and my stomach began to tremble. “He does love me,” I whisper-yelled at her. “I am Sadie. Why don’t you wake up and tell everyone that!”
Maintaining her rigid position, her eyes still wide and doll-like, her hand shot out and grabbed my wrist. Nothing else about her moved.
“You aren’t Sadie,” she said, her voice sort of like a moan. The stiff position of her mouth barely changed. “Not her.”
Shuddering, I snatched my arm out of her grasp and stumbled back, falling onto my butt. Instantly, I surged up and stared at her, chest heaving. “I am!” I yelled. “I am Sadie.”
She didn’t move or reply; she just lay there like a wax figure, as if she hadn’t spoken at all.
I whirled around and rushed from the room. She was faking! I knew it! And I’d felt sorry for her. How dare she try and play me—play us all this way?
“She’s awake!” I shrieked, rushing into the hall. “She’s faking!”
Dr. Beck came from around the counter, followed closely by a few nurses. Eddie rushed to my side.
“She’s awake!” I demanded again, pointing at the door.
Doctors and nurses ran into the room. Even the officer stationed at the door went inside.
“What happened?” Eddie implored, looking me over for injury.
“She grabbed me,” I said. “And she…” My voice trailed away. Eddie was watching me, encouraging me to finish.
He loves Sadie. Not you. You aren’t Sadie.
Her words suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks. I stumbled back, my knees suddenly weak.
“Amnesia…” Eddie worried, catching me by the arms, supporting all my weight. “What happened in there?” he asked again, lifting me into his arms.
I pressed my face into his chest. Tears squeezed out from the corners and ran crookedly down my face. Why would she say something so horrible to me? Hadn’t she already taken enough?
Now she wanted to take my identity. My future.
Dr. Beck came back out into the hall, a frown darkening his features.
“Well?” I demanded.
“I’m sorry, but her condition is unchanged. Are you sure she became responsive?”
“She grabbed me!” I insisted. “She spoke!”
“What did she say?” Eddie asked, concerned.
I looked up into his blue eyes, his patient, caring face. I knew he told me it didn’t matter who I was… but what if it did? What if I told him what Widow West said and it changed everything?
Worse yet, what if she was lying, trying one last time to hurt me, and I really was Sadie, just like I remembered?
So many unknowns.
“I…” I glanced at Dr. Beck. He too was waiting for an answer. “I couldn’t understand what she said. It was more like moaning.”
Yes, I lied. But hadn’t I earned the right to lie if it meant protecting myself?
“I see,” Dr. Beck remarked. “Perhaps she did move, but she is still catatonic. I’m afraid she won’t be able to answer any questions at this time.”
I nodded.
“You should go back to your room. Rest.” Dr. Beck gazed at me with concern. I guess I’d earned the look. “I think it’s best you stay away from her from now on.”
“I think you’re right,” I told him.
“I’ll let you know if her condition changes.” He promised.
“Thank you,” Eddie said and carried me back to our room.
Once inside, he laid me on the bed, climbed in behind me, and fitted his body along mine.
“What did she really say to you in there?” he whispered, brushing his fingertips down my arm.
I paused, lifting my head to glance over my shoulder at him.
He smiled, kissing my shoulder. “I know my girl.”
“So you do,” I muttered, laying my head back down.
“She upset you.”
“Yeah, she did.” I admitted. “She just keeps trying to take things away.”
“I won’t let her, sweetheart.” He promised, settling closer against me. I tugged his arm so it was tighter around my waist. I couldn’t lose this. Him.
“I’m not ready to talk about it,” I told him.
His reply was simple and accepting. “Then we won’t.”
A few moments later, my voice filled the room. “I love you, Eddie. So much.”
“I love you, too, baby,” he replied.
“This isn’t over yet.” I tried in my own way to warn him. I wasn’t even quite sure what I was warning him about.
“I know.”
“I’m scared,” I acknowledged, the words that I might not be the girl he lost after all on the very tip of my tongue.
Eddie rose, my back flattened on the bed. Our eyes met and held. I searched for something in his stare that might prove the deep-rooted fear the widow somehow planted. I didn’t see anything but love there.
“Don’t be scared,” he murmured, rubbing my cheekbone with his knuckles. “We’re together, and as long as we are, everything is going to be just fine.”
“Promise me.” I urged, grabbing his hand and squeezing.
“Cross my heart,” he said seriously. He mouthed the words I love you.
I believed him. I knew he loved me. I felt it. Hope, the emotion I remembered after I’d forgotten it all, welled up inside me, growing in strength with the look of love in Eddie’s gaze.
Maybe he was right. Maybe as long as we were together, everything would turn out just fine.
I smiled. He lay down, and I snuggled into his chest.
Even though he’d made me feel more at ease, the widow’s words still haunted my thoughts.
You aren’t Sadie.
I couldn’t help but wonder if she was right. If I would ever know the truth. And if I wasn’t Sadie…
Who was I really?